21. Kira

21

Kira

Drasuk moves his face closer to mine, his voice calm and infuriatingly composed. "Besides, you were thrashing in your sleep. I was only keeping you from hurting yourself."

The shiver his warm breath causes from my head to my toes pisses me off.

"I don't need your help," I snap, my voice shaking with anger and residual fear.

Fuck. I could have done all this alone and not been stuck with trusting this big alien oaf to keep me safe. There's no time, and definitely no interest, in being all warm and fucking snuggly.

"Keep your head and just stay the fornicate alive," I mutter to myself.

"Well, that is always my plan, Kira."

The way he says my name sends another shiver through me and it takes me a beat longer than it should to realize he released his grip.

I scramble away, trying to put more distance between us, my body trembling.

Judging by the look in his eyes, he didn't miss my hesitation. Dammit.

"Why were you watching me?" I demand, glaring at him.

Drasuk tilts his head, his expression unreadable. "You seemed distressed. I was concerned."

"Concerned?" I laugh bitterly, rubbing the spot where his arm had held me. "Since when do you care about anything other than yourself?"

I know as I say it that I'm being unfair. I just met him. How would I even know? It's a low blow insult, even for me.

Something in me is panicking, though, bringing irrationality right along with it.

He doesn't respond immediately, just watches me with those unnervingly calm eyes.

"You're my ally," he finally says. "Your well-being affects my survival."

I snort, turning away from him. "Sure, it's all about survival, right? That's why you were getting all cuddly."

"You were dreaming about a fight gone wrong, weren't you?" he asks, ignoring my jab.

I hesitate, the images from my nightmare flashing through my mind. "Yes," I admit reluctantly. "It's hard to forget."

"I know the feeling," he says quietly.

I look back at him, surprised by the sincerity in his tone. "You? Haunted by anything?"

His eyes meet mine, and for a moment, I see a flicker of something—sorrow, maybe. "We all have our regrets, Kira."

The way he says my name, so soft and serious, makes my heart ache. I want to hate him, to push him away, but there's a part of me that's drawn to his strength, his calm in the face of everything.

It seems like every moment I've been with him I've been reactive.

I hate it.

"Why do you always have to be so infuriatingly perfect?" I mutter, sitting down and wrapping my good arm around my knees.

He raises his brow spines. "Perfect?"

"You're always so composed, so sure of yourself," I say, frustration bubbling up. "It's like nothing ever gets to you."

Drasuk sighs, looking away. "It's not about being perfect. It's about surviving. I've learned to control my emotions because letting them control me would get me killed."

I can't argue with that logic. It's something I've tried to do myself, but it's hard.

"I just... I don't know how to do that," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper.

He turns back to me, his eyes softening. "It's not easy. But you're strong, Kira. Stronger than you realize."

I scowl at him, the annoyance from his grip lingering, but a warmth blossoms in my stomach, too, a feeling I can't quite define. Pushing it aside, I glance up at the sky.

Still dark. Great. Just freaking fantastic.

"Look," I say, trying to keep my voice steady. "It's the middle of the damn night, and I can't sleep anyway. How about I take a second watch while you get some rest?"

Drasuk's spines shift again, his amusement clear. "I already slept."

My jaw clenches. "Already?" I grit out through my teeth. "What's the point of taking turns then, you giant idiot? We're supposed to be alert for threats."

He shrugs, his nonchalance pushing all my buttons. "Threats don't get by me when I sleep. Besides," he adds, a hint of a amusement in his eyes, "aren't you the one who just declared your undying love for taking a second watch? Well, get on with it already. Guard your superior as he rests."

"Undying love?" I sputter. "Don't twist my words, you giant iguana. I'm just saying the whole point of having watches is so everyone gets some damn rest, but also so someone is awake to keep an eye out. How the hell are you this much of a stupid rear?"

I take in a ragged breath, then continue. "Besides, what do you know of love? You seem to survive on pure arrogance."

After a long blink, he responds. "I am certainly aware of it. I have felt it from my brood."

That gives me pause. "Only your brood? Not a female? Or male? A partner, I mean?"

His spines shift in a way I can't interpret yet, but really wish I could. "If you mean a mate bond, then no. That doesn't occur in my species."

For a moment, I'm floored. No romantic love in his species? What the fuck?

Hell, who am I to judge? I never thought love meant anything and now I'll probably never experience it before dying on some fucking alien planet full of misogynists.

Should have taken my chances when I had them, I guess.

As usual, I push that worry down with bravado and deflection. "No wonder you only have room for arrogance. But, still, we need to have a better watch set up."

He lets out a rumbling chuckle that shakes the leaves above us. "Relax, little one. I assure you, I can sense danger even in my sleep. It's a drakonid advantage."

"Oh, great," I mutter sarcastically. "Supernatural senses. Just what I needed all the other threats out there to have on this lovely camping trip through Predatorville."

He wiggles his head, his amusement turning into something that looks suspiciously like... pity?

Ugh. The last thing I need is pity from a huge blue dino-dragon alien. Not all of us can be the size of an Asian elephant.

"Look," I say, my voice rising a notch. "I don't need you coddling me, okay? I can handle myself just fine. In fact, I've been handling myself just fine for the past however-long-it's-been we've been stuck on this stupid planet."

Drasuk opens his mouth to reply, but I cut him off. "And don't even try to tell me you're not sleeping. We all have to sleep. It's a biological necessity. Or are you some kind of mythical creature who thrives on pure conceit?"

He raises his hands in mock surrender. "Point taken. Sleep is important for even the most impatient humans."

I glare at him. Impatient? Is that what I am? Maybe a little. But mostly just frustrated. And terrified.

And maybe, just a tiny bit grateful for his presence despite everything.

Dammit.

"Fine," I grumble, sinking back down onto the makeshift shelter of branches and leaves. "But if anything attacks us while you're snoozing the sleep of the oblivious, I'm blaming you."

What the fuck Kira , I grumble internally.

I'm speaking out of both sides of my mouth. I hate that.

Drasuk lets out another low chuckle. "By all means. Just remember, if you're so helpless while you sleep, what good is a second watch, anyway?"

His words spark a fresh wave of anger. "Helpless?" I leap to my feet. "Who's calling who helpless? I may not have glowing blue scales and razor-sharp claws, but I can fight. I can think. I don't need someone like you telling me how to survive."

He raises the spikes along his forehead, his expression unreadable. Maybe amusement, maybe something else entirely. "Interesting choice of words," he says finally. "And, again, you do realize I don't have scales?"

I feel my cheeks burning, suddenly conscious of how ridiculous I must sound. Especially with all the fancy space-lingo he throws around.

"Close ascend, head of cock," I blurt out, hoping a good curse will shut him up for once.

Silence.

Then, to my horror, Drasuk bursts out laughing, a deep, rumbling sound that shakes the very ground beneath us. Tears of frustration well up in my eyes. Not only did I sound like a complete idiot when I tried to say shut up , but even my curse came out wrong in his alien language.

"Oh, fornicate," I mumble, sinking back down onto the leaves with a defeated sigh.

Finally, his laughter subsides. "Close ascend, head of cock?" he repeats, his spines wiggling.

"Yes," I mutter, feeling like I could crawl into a hole and die.

I knew I should have stopped trying to curse.

Nah, fuck that.

He regards me for a moment, then asks, with an almost playful seriousness, "Where do you want it? Actually, it's best if I pick where."

My head snaps up, my cheeks burning. "I wasn't—That didn't mean—" I stammer, completely flustered.

"Curse a thing. How do you insult people in your language?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

Drasuk's amusement fades, replaced by a flicker of something else—curiosity maybe, or the hint of a playful challenge.

"We don't curse," he says simply. "There's no point. We communicate directly and state our observations and disagreements clearly."

I scoff. "Sounds about as exciting as watching paint dry."

"Perhaps," he replies, his gaze unwavering. "But it passes on our intentions well enough. Why leave room for double meaning? Isn't communication supposed to be clear and meaningful?"

I glance away, my cheeks still burning for fuck knows why. "Fine," I mutter. "Maybe your way is better. But it's still boring."

He lets out a soft puff of air, a sound that could almost be a chuckle. "Possibly, but it is effective."

He falls silent then, his gaze shifting back to the forest.

The silence stretches between us, thick and heavy, and with a huff, I put some distance between the two of us, grabbing my backpack as I head deeper into the foliage for some privacy.

I force myself to focus on something other than the infuriating Drasuk, turning my attention to the mess that is my pilfered pack, grateful for the bright moonlight. It contains some ammo for the unwieldy rifle I snagged, a medkit, some rolls of cloth-like materials I figured could come in handy as bandages, some bars of what look like rations.

The haphazard collection I managed to salvage from the soggy bastard and his friends tumbles out in a disorganized heap. Sorting through the mess might not be the most thrilling activity, but it's a job, and those provide a much-needed distraction.

The rustling of leaves from behind me is the first clue that my attempt at peace is about to be shattered.

Drasuk emerges from the undergrowth, his massive form easily navigating the dense foliage. This close, I can see the intricate patterns etched onto his blue hide catching the moonlight in an almost mesmerizing way. I clench my teeth, willing myself not to react.

Of course, silence seems to be my kryptonite, so I mumble some curses at him.

"So," he says, his voice a low rumble, "any plans to approach the glorious day ahead?"

Is he fucking with me here?

Gritting my teeth, I manage a tight smile. "Survival, mostly. Any brilliant ideas from your vast well of drakonid wisdom?"

The amusement playing in his eyes only serves to further irritate me.

"Patience, little one. The forest holds its secrets closely, but they will reveal themselves with time," he finishes in an overly exaggerated manner that I can't help but think is supposed to come off as sage.

Little one. Not my name. That's another thing I hate.

It's condescending, but a fullness flickers in my chest at the sound of it. Heat rises to my cheeks, and I quickly bend down to rummage through my bag again, anything to avoid looking at him.

Is it just the constant fear? The isolation? Maybe being stuck with a giant blue alien is messing with my head in more ways than one.

The thought sends a fresh wave of anger coursing through me. That's it. I'm officially pissed. Pissed at him, at the situation, at myself for feeling so... off-center around him.

Pushing myself to my feet, I grab a handful of dirt and grit from the forest floor. "Look," I say, my voice tight, "I appreciate the advice, but right now I could use some space."

Drasuk opens his mouth to protest, but I cut him off. "Just for a minute, okay? I need to think."

He looks at me for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Finally, he retreats farther into the trees. I let out a shaky breath, the tension draining from my shoulders as he disappears from sight.

With the awkward silence broken, I finally focus on the golden chest plate and bracers in my lap that I salvaged from the Graylord alien I managed to take down with a lucky shot from my not-so-cooperative gun cannon thingy.

The metal, once gleaming and proud, is now marred with scratches and dents from the fight.

A perfect symbol for my current emotional state.

I have a feeling that the gun itself is one bad shot or rough bump away from falling apart, and that does little to calm me down.

Anger spurs me on.

I grab a rock, scraping it across the surface of the armor, dulling the golden sheen with each determined stroke. The metal groans in protest, but I don't let up. Each scrape feels like a cathartic release, a defiance against the chaos this world has thrown me into.

As I work, the first blushes of dawn break. The air hums with the sounds of the forest—the chirping of unseen birds, the buzzing of insects.

Slowly, the rage begins to subside, replaced by a dull ache of exhaustion.

Finally, the armor lies dull and lifeless in my lap, a shadow of its former glory. Collapsing back against a tree trunk, I let out a long sigh. It isn't a solution, but it feels like a small act of rebellion in this messed-up world.

A twig snaps behind me, and I whip around, heart pounding. Drasuk stands there, a thoughtful expression on his face. He gestures toward the armor.

"What are you doing?"

I hesitate, unsure how much vulnerability I want to reveal. But the frustration that still simmers beneath the surface spills over. "Taking back a little control," I say, without putting much thought into it. "It's the only thing I seem to be able to do right now."

He stares at me for a moment, his gaze serious. "Control is an illusion," he says finally. "The only constant in the universe is change."

Is he some sort of closet philosopher under all that menace?

I scoff. "Easy for you to say, Mr. Super-Senses. You can probably smell danger coming from a mile away. All I have is this stupid rock and this hunk of useless metal."

He squints his eyes at me and goes to lean against a nearby tree. "So it would seem."

I scowl.

Yeah, fuck this guy.