9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Cooper

I did it. I told her I love her. I'm half fearful and half relieved. Fearful because of Jenkins, and me hiring him through Colton, to look into her past. It doesn't matter that it's for her own good, and she'll see that. I'd be pissed if someone who said they loved me hired some goon to nose into my business. But I'm also half relieved, since she said that she loves me, too. Her eyes say that she's telling the truth. London is no liar. She's had many opportunities to tell me a lie, but instead, she told me the truth, in that she can't tell me more.

Some would argue that she is lying to me a lot by withholding the truth, but it's not the same in this case. We both know that she has good reasons for keeping her secrets hidden. And in my heart of hearts, I know that she's a good person. So, I know that she means well and is doing her best. I wish I could tell her that I know that she's part of the Witness Protection Program, and whatever she tells me she can be certain I'll take it to the grave, but I know that at least she must have orders. Either that or she knows something beyond what she should, and the only way to keep herself and her child safe is to keep it hidden. No matter what.

It breaks my heart watching her leave for work. Who knows what she was in her previous life. She could have been a doctor or a lawyer for all I know. It seems like such a waste. But a necessary one at least for the time being. London deserves so much better. There is no doubt in my mind that she's smart and loyal and very hard working. It just sucks that she can't shine in a better life. I kiss her goodbye one last time and walk her to the door. The sparkle in her eyes matches mine. She's so beautiful it makes me ache.

"I love you." I tell her, testing the waters. I never thought I'd be the type to say that aloud, but it feels so right with her. Problem is, I don't know if she's the type to do that as well. But there's only one way to find out.

"I love you, too." She says back. The sparkle is still in her eyes, so I know it's genuine and not just a knee-jerk reciprocation.

"Feel free to wake me up when you get home."

She tilts her head. "Cooper, you need your sleep. And I'll follow Colton home, so you don't need to worry about me arriving safely. We already discussed this."

I purse my lips together into a small smile. "What if I want to stay up and wait for you?"

"How are you going to teach my baby and all those other kids to sing and play instruments tomorrow if you're too tired?"

"I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead, darlin'. I'd much rather stay up and wait for you."

She chuckles. "Fine. Did your mother ever tell you that you listen like you're deaf?"

I smile at her, giving her one last kiss. "Go on. Get out of here, before you're late."

I wish I was playing tonight. At Mingles. But there's almost never a gig on Monday nights. Sometimes mid-week, but Monday and Tuesday, if we have a gig, it's very rare. So far, this week, I've got nothing until Friday night. So, it's just going to be me and Bean while London works. She's asked Blake to give her any shift he can, so she can earn back the money she lost for her deposit that she can't get back, since she hit the road in the middle of the night, leaving her landlord with no notice. I argued up and down with her, telling her that she doesn't have to pay me rent, but she's having none of it.

The kitchen is lonely without the girls in it. But I head in there, making Bean's lunch, so that London doesn't have to do it in the morning. I also prepare something for breakfast, as I chop up some fruit, and pre-make some pancake batter. I'll get Bean up before she wakes up London, and get her ready for school, so that my girl can sleep. It's the least I can do, since I'll be the one getting all the sleep tonight, while she works until two o'clock in the morning. She probably won't get home until at least three o'clock, since they do all the clean-up before they lock the doors for the night.

Bean is such a good kid. She stays in her bed and doesn't move a muscle all night. I try like hell to stay up, but once midnight hits, I surrender and get to bed, thinking that maybe London will wake me up when she gets home. But when my alarm goes off at seven o'clock, it's just me in the bed, and I find her snuggled up next to Bean. As I go into the room to wake the angel up, she must hear me, because she lifts her head. "Cooper? Is it time to get up?" She whispers, half asleep.

"It sure is. If you're hungry, I can make pancakes."

"Can I help?"

"Sure, you can. I can't make pancakes without a little help."

"Come on, then." She whispers, getting out of bed. London doesn't move. She's like a burrito in the bed, all snuggled up. I miss her, but it breaks my heart to think about waking her up, for my own selfish reasons.

I close the door behind me, so we don't wake her, and I hear Bean hiss, gushing. "Oh my gosh! You have Christmas tree shaped pancake things!" She says, referring to the molds I have.

"I do. You don't want to use them, do you?" I tease, using a playful voice.

"Can we?"

I smile. "Well, of course, we can. That's why I pulled them out for you." I tousle her hair and she giggles.

As I pull the non-stick griddle closer to the sink, Bean takes the hint, placing the mold on the smooth surface, and helps me pour the batter inside. Then she places the other one next to it, and we repeat the process. "So, what do you think of the name ‘Bean', anyway?" I ask her, conversationally.

"Well, mommy always calls me that, and once, some mean kid found out what my real name is, and do you know what she said?"

"What did she say?"

"Do you know what my real name is?" She asks, matter-of-factly, like we're on some kind of talk show or something.

"It's Nicole, isn't it?"

"Uh huh. Well, she said that my name sounds like ‘Nickel', you know, like a coin?"

I nod.

"Ever since then, I'd rather not use that name." She says, pleased with herself.

"I'll bet you it's only because that girl had a name like Iswalda or something stupid. She probably hated her name, too, so she figured she'd make fun of someone's name that's nicer than hers."

She smiles. "Do you like the name Nicole?"

"That's a fine name. But I like nicknames, too. Everyone seems to call me ‘Coop'. I'm surprised nobody's called me ‘Chicken Coop', but I'm sure some day someone will."

That gets a giggle, as we turn over the pancakes, noting how perfect they turn out. "I sure hope these things don't taste like Christmas trees."

She giggles easily, covering her mouth, and it's as sweet as sin. "You're funny."

"You think so?"

"Yes. And this place that mommy used to take me to in Florida, where we used to live, made pancakes so big me and mommy used to have to share them."

In the back of my mind, I'm thinking that if London is overhearing any of this, that she might think I'm grilling the child for information, so I converse carefully. "Yeah? Is it warmer in Florida than it is out here?"

"Yes. But I like it here. Especially living next door to the horses. We never had any animals before. I want a kitten so bad, but mommy isn't sure how long we can stay."

"You can stay as long as you want to, darlin'."

"Mommy isn't so sure about that."

"Well, you have my permission, but your mama can make up her mind when she's ready."

She helps me place the pancakes on plates, and we sit down at the table, while I pour us both some orange juice in awaiting glasses. "Do you know my daddy?" Bean asks me, with her mouth full.

"I can't say that I do, sweetheart." I tell her honestly, covering my full mouth with my hand.

"I haven't seen him in a long time."

"Do you miss him?"

"Yes. I was hoping I could see him for Christmas, but mommy says no."

"Is he away somewhere?" I ask, feeling like a shit, the moment it comes out of my mouth, but it just slips, and it's too late.

"I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but my daddy is in jail. He did something really bad, and that's why mommy won't let me see him."

My heart pumps out of my chest. I lose my appetite immediately. Chewing slowed, I set down my fork, and swallow down the mouthful with effort. "I'm sorry to hear that, darlin'." Is all I can manage. Lord knows what this asshole did. He better pray to God that he didn't touch either of them, or he'll be goddamn thankful that he is where he is, because he'd be a dead man. I had hoped that she was just divorced from the guy, that maybe her current situation was more to do with witnessing a random attack or something like that. It never occurred to me that it could have something directly to do with him.

I know I can't ask her anymore. It's not fair, and certainly not right, and if London overhears, she'll hate me for life. I've already said too much.

"Mommy's afraid that the bad men will come after us. That's why we have to use different names."

I almost want to tell her to stop. I pray to God she isn't so trusting of anyone else. "Bean, there's a reason why your mama told you to keep these things a secret. Now, it's important that you don't tell anyone else, okay? She probably won't like it if she ever finds out how much you've told me already." I advise her gently but with strong eye contact, so she knows that I mean business.

"Okay. Am I in trouble?" She asks, looking around, as if London is right behind us, eavesdropping.

"No, love, you're not in any trouble." I squeeze her hand gently. "I just worry, that's all."

She purses her lips into a smile. "And that's why I know that telling you is okay. Mommy always tells me to follow my heart and listen to my gut."

My eyes sparkle at her. God, I love this kid. "Well, that's great advice, doll. It's the same advice my mama used to give me all the time when I was your age. Even, to this day, she tells me the same."

"Is that why you asked us to live with you, when you just met us?"

This kid is wise way beyond her years. "I believe so, love. And I wasn't going to have you or your mama in harm's way if I can help it."

She climbs down off the chair and takes two steps to me. Her arms come out and she hugs me tight. "I love you, Cooper."

Tugs at my heartstrings. Ball in my throat, I manage. "I love you to the moon and back, Bean."

The staff room is empty as I head there in between classes. I've been battling with myself, wondering if I'm doing the right thing, telling Jenkins what I know. But I know that I am, in my heart of hearts, because, for all I know, she could be getting screwed over, whether it be by the legal system, or by the dirtbags that forced her into the program. Jenkins answers on the first ring. "Cooper. I'm so sorry, man. I haven't got anything more for you yet. My contact is in a goddamn hospital bed, or I'd have something for you."

"It's okay. I've got something for you, actually."

"I'm all ears."

"Bean, London's daughter, started talking this morning." I raise a hand, as though he's in the room with me. "I didn't prompt her or anything, man, I'll swear on a bible to that."

"Go on."

"They're definitely being protected from something or someone. London's ex-husband is in jail."

"I figured, but there's no point going on a wild goose chase for an inmate unless I know at least what state, if not, what town."

"They're from Florida. Not sure how much that helps. Bean says that London used to take her to a pancake place that served these things that were the size of her head."

I can hear him pecking away at a keyboard as we speak. "Sure. Any bit of information helps, even if you think it doesn't."

"She mentioned she hasn't seen him for a while. That London hasn't let her see him at least since last Christmas."

"That means that whatever transpired with the ex didn't necessarily happen the moment he was sent to the slammer. Whatever caused her to go the program happened pretty damn recently."

"I coached Bean. I don't want her going around telling this shit to just anyone."

"Good call. I'm sure London did the same. Any word on a surname?"

"Na, she was about to tell me, but I was afraid I was already walking a fine line, just in case London was listening. She was asleep in the next room, so it was pretty risky business."

"Gotcha. Well, if anything else comes up, give me a ring. I've got more digging to do now. This is pretty helpful."

"Good.I'm glad."

"Take it easy."

"You, too."

As I hang up to him, I worry that London overheard this morning's conversation. But I'll have to wait until tonight to find out.

...for now, I just have to pray that Jenkins finds something out before then.