Chapter 26

26

K atie couldn't bring herself to leave her room, no matter how many days passed. Even with Delilah and Ruby's coaxing, she had little will to do anything or even to eat. She didn't care that her body was shrinking before her eyes or that despondency and numbness had become her best friends. She couldn't summon interest in the usual running of the household, a place she no longer considered home. She lay on her bed or stood listlessly, gazing out the window.

The one thing she did long to do was get on her horse and ride, yet she couldn't take the risk of running into Colby. If he encouraged her at all in her weakened state, she wouldn't be able to resist his warmth, his friendship, his arms.

A slow burn developed the first week and blossomed into a full rage. If Josiah had loved her as he claimed, why had he not fought for her? Why had he believed the worst?

The second week, despondency set in. By the third week, the full bottle of laudanum she had snuck into her room called her name. She was ready to give in to anything that could stop the pain.

If truth be told, she was confused. Very confused. Colby offered a soft landing, an easy friendship, an obvious attraction. But Josiah had been the one who restored her faith in men, who had taken her in and shown her true patience and love. She longed for that man back, the man before the jealousy. They had something she could not easily shake.

But there was no hope. Josiah had thrown her away like a worn-out dish rag. And Colby was there, willing to give up his dream of this horse ranch to be with her. Yet she feared someday, if she allowed that, he'd resent her. For the sake of both Josiah and Colby, she would not be the one to break up the partnership.

Josiah had to try one more time. The whole household was in a dither because Katherine was not opening her door to anyone. He knocked on the door adjoining their two rooms.

"Come on, Katherine. I know you can hear me. Open up. Everyone is worried."

"I can hear you just fine. Go away."

"You have to eat."

"What do you care?"

He wanted to shout that he loved her, and beg her to forgive him, but that would scare her off for sure. "I never stopped caring."

"You care so much you've made arrangements to end our marriage."

He gulped back the knot in his throat. Her words held too much truth. "Open the door so we can talk."

"Did you, or did you not, file for that annulment?"

Did she want a yes, or a no? He had no idea how to answer. Did she want to be with Colby? At this point, he just wanted whatever she wanted. Three weeks was a long time to stay holed up. His worry for her was eating him up inside.

"Answer me, Josiah."

"Yes, I did." Was that a sob coming from her room? He couldn't be sure.

"Then go. I'm no longer your concern."

Everything in him wanted to bust the door down and take her in his arms. Tell her she would always be his concern. Instead he dropped his head and turned away. It was too late. He'd failed her miserably. The one person who mattered most to him.

He headed down the steps for a late evening meal. He could care less about food, but he had to keep up his strength.

The day had been long and difficult. Not even hard labor helped erase the error of his ways. Josiah grabbed his meal from the edge of the wood stove and slipped into his chair. When he slammed his plate down, the metal clanged on the table.

A mad sorrow ripped through his aching heart. He had wasted over a year trying to avoid her because of a half-truth. He'd ruined everything, including their friendship. He deserved the agony he was feeling. She, however, deserved none of the sorrow he'd brought on her—not being pressured into an arranged marriage, not being shunned by the one who'd promised to show her what true love was, not the secret her parents kept from her, which would only bring more feelings of abandonment.

He cringed at the thought of giving her up, but he'd do anything right now to make her happy. Colby cared deeply for her and had been left to pick up the broken, confused pieces of her heart. And in the process, had found what Josiah had so freely given away—a kind, tender soul so easy to love. Josiah had no one but himself to blame.

He pushed the plate away and buried his face in his hands. His head pounded. Would it do any good to pray? God, what should I do?

Then it came to him, a thought, a plan. Tomorrow he would put it into motion.

Josiah had Jeb and Colby just where he wanted them…together. He didn't call Jeb away from the farming aspect of the ranch that often, but he needed a good excuse for some uninterrupted conversation. A section of the fence had to be fixed, and he needed their help.

They rode in silence as they made their way to the spot.

"Where's that section you were talking about?" Colby asked.

"Coming up." Josiah pointed ahead.

"You would've had some better help than me had you grabbed a few of the ranch hands," Jeb said. "This shoulder of mine will never be as strong as it once was."

"There are two reasons I asked the both of you to join me. I wanted a chance to talk without any listening ears. And the fence needs mending. We can work and talk."

"Spoken like a true rancher." Jeb chuckled.

When they reached the fence, Josiah swung from his horse. The other two were right behind him.

Without words they spread apart and worked like a team. Josiah motioned to the downed section. "We'll flag where the posts need to be replaced and reinforce enough to keep the cattle in. I'll send some of the young cowhands out to do the tough digging."

Jeb nodded. "Sounds like a plan I can live with."

"Why are these down? The post isn't rotten, but looks like it's been chopped." Colby's brow scrunched.

"That's one of the things I wondered about," Josiah said. "You both think this can't be an accident?"

Jeb took a closer look at a few more posts. "Yup, this damage looks intentional."

Josiah's stomach twisted at the thought of broaching the two hardest subjects of his life.

"All right." Colby paused and swiped at his sweating brow with his handkerchief, then turned a steady gaze on Josiah. "What's going on here? And why the secrecy?"

Better to start with the easier subject. "We have trouble coming our way from some of the town folk. You know that Hinton Rowan, the big mouth at our Christmas party back when?"

"The guy who me and the boys escorted out?" Colby asked.

Josiah nodded. "For years he's ruled the roost around here with his huge spread and slave labor. He doesn't much like that I've hired both white and black workers and pay them all the same. He's tried to talk me into doing things his way, but I guess the fact I didn't capitulate has him angry. So, he's been going around town stirring up trouble. And because most people have been getting away with paying their black workers far less, our practice is not going over well. I'm getting some nasty threats to lower our wages or else."

"Or else what?" Jeb stopped and straightened with a hand to his lower back.

"This is the beginning…busting down our fences and stealing our cattle. Hank said his boys can't find all the stock."

"That could be any cattle rustler, couldn't it?" Colby frowned.

"I thought the same, and didn't pay them much mind until the threats started coming in the mail." And now the important part. "Sometimes including the names of our family members."

"Family members?" Jeb's voice took on strength.

"Yes. Delilah, Abe, and Katherine. And your girls too, Jeb."

The older man stepped toward him. "What can we do?"

"Sheriff Holden is aware and keeping me appraised of everything he hears in town. I've hired some extra cowboys, as you may have noticed, who'll patrol the grounds. And I'm going to schedule night watches."

He looked from one man to the other. "So, my question to both of you is, are you in? I have no intention of giving in to threats. I'll understand, Jeb, if you want to take your family and go stay with your sister until this dies down."

Jeb took off his hat and ran a hand over his hair. "If we give into fear and threats, they win. I have no doubt God will protect us."

Colby eyed Jeb. "Didn't think you were much of a religious man. Never heard you talk like that before."

"I don't know much yet. Learning a lot through reading the Bible. But when I took that one step of belief a couple months back, all I can say is the peace and love I feel right here"—he slammed a fist against his heart—"is more real than anything I've ever experienced before."

Josiah and Colby exchanged raised eyebrows.

"You two laugh away or say it's the ramblings of an old man. I don't care. I've been changed."

Josiah raised a hand. "You can believe whatever you want. I do think there's a God somewhere up there. I just don't think he cares much about the everyday down here."

"He cares." Jeb's brown eyes softened. "But that's enough preaching for one day, other than I'm going to ask you both to attend my baptism coming up. Hope it's all right that I've volunteered the use of our creek down by the swimming hole."

"You don't have to ask," Josiah said. "You know this place is as much yours as mine."

"I'd be honored to see you dunked." Colby turned to Josiah. "And I have no reason not to be in with your plan." He raised a rail back into place, then readied a nail to hold it there.

"That might change after we talk about my next problem." Josiah took off his hat and dug his hands through his crop of hair.

Both heads turned his way, and the work stopped.

Josiah gulped back a knot in his throat. "It's about Katherine." He pressed on the knuckles on one hand until they popped. "She's been holed up in her room for too long now. I need one of you to go to talk to her. She's not talking to me or anyone else in the house."

Colby shook his head. "I'm not getting involved."

"A little too late for that, don't you think?" Josiah couldn't stop the clip of his voice.

Colby raised his brows. "If you hadn't neglected the best thing that ever happened to you, you wouldn't be in this state."

"You're a fine one to talk, when all you've done is flirt with her from the get-go." Josiah took a step toward Colby, hands fisted.

"And all you've done is act like a jealous oaf." Colby took up the challenge, moving closer.

"Stop." Jeb held up his hands and stepped between them. "This will solve nothing."

Josiah stared Colby down, wishing his friend would take a swing. Wishing he could start and finish the fight he'd been itching to have for weeks. Months.

But Colby shook his head and backed up. "I'm not fighting you, Josiah. As much as I believe you're crazy for giving up on Katherine and would love to knock you into next week for the hurt you've caused her, I'm done with this conversation." He scanned the land around them, ignoring Josiah's gaze. "I'll protect the ranch and work hard, but Katie and I are staying clear of each other."

"I'll talk to her," Jeb offered.

Relief seeped into Josiah's bones and he released a long breath. Someone had to get through to Katherine. He didn't even care if it had to be Colby. Her well-being mattered too much.

"Thanks. I'm worried about her. I messed up bad."

"Yes, you did." Colby's jaw hardened.

"Enough." Jeb pointed his finger at Colby. "You messed up, too."

The hardness on Colby's face eased, and he dropped his gaze, kicking the dust at his feet.

Josiah could not look his father-in-law in the face. Guilt pressed in. He deserved a talking to more than Colby did. If Jeb knew the extent of his blunder, the man wouldn't even want to talk to him.