19. Savannah

Chapter 19

Savannah

I watch as Nixon disappears through the door to his room. I can't bring myself to look away no matter how much I know I should.

Not so slowly but surely, I'm letting my defenses drop where he's concerned. By tomorrow night, I'm going to be head over heels in love with the man all over again. No matter how bad I want to stay mad at him for the shit he pulled, I can't do it. Nixon Russo is a part of me. Keeping him at a distance is unnatural. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to fight my pull to him. And honestly, I'm not sure I want to.

When he pushed me out of his life, I swore to myself I'd never let him back in. I promised I'd keep these massive walls around my heart where he's concerned. I wouldn't give him a chance to worm his way back into my heart… but then I saw him standing in my kitchen and every brick that was protecting my heart crumbled down to the ground, one at a time until there was nothing left.

That's the thing, you can't keep someone at a distance when they're basically ingrained in you. Almost like they're part of your DNA. Nixon's home to me and I can't push him away no matter how much my brain tells me to.

I let out a long sigh and toss my flash cards onto the empty cushion next to me. I already miss him and he's not even gone. How am I going to handle this?

My phone lets out a loud whistle. I groan and swipe it off the table. I hate these damn noises. I really need to change them so I don't cringe every time someone calls or texts me.

Chad: Where are you, babe?

A sense of dread fills me. I don't want to get up, but if I don't go downstairs, Chad's going to try to come into my room and hang out. I know Dad will flip out. He treats me like an adult and probably wouldn't care about a boy being in my room, but he hates Chad and I can tell. If he found Chad in my room, I have a feeling he wouldn't be happy.

I rush to get ready for the day. It takes me about ten minutes, then I'm flying down the stairs and into the living room. I fire off my text to Chad, feeling a little bit better that I'm not lying to him.

Savannah: I'm in the living room. About to find something for breakfast.

Chad: Awesome. I'm going to shower, then I'll meet you down there.

I'm quickly realizing how much I don't want to be in a relationship with Chad. We were so good together for so long, but lately something seems off. I can't put my finger on it, but there was a change. I want to be upset about it, but I'm not. I'm over it, I'm over Chad.

His closeness to Devon makes me uncomfortable. His attitude towards Nixon is getting on my nerves. His lack of care in front of my parents is very off putting. I expected so much more.

"Morning, peanut." Dad glides into the room and presses a kiss to my forehead.

"Morning. How was your night?"

"I slept like a king with his princess safely tucked inside the castle." He smirks at me from over the rim of his coffee cup.

Where Mom runs on sugar, Dad runs on coffee. Sometimes I wonder exactly how many pots he consumes in a single day. If you cut him open, I'm sure coffee would flow out of his veins instead of blood.

"Where's your baggage?"

"They have names, Dad." I roll my eyes.

"I know, but I don't care. I don't like either one of them."

"I know you don't." I let out a long sigh and rub my forehead. Dad settles onto the couch next to me.

"I'm sorry, Sav. I just don't think they're good for you. Something fishy is going on between the two of them." He rubs a gentle hand up and down my back.

"I feel it too, I just don't know what it is."

"Just answer one question for me… Are you in love with him?" He stares into my eyes, refusing to look away.

"Chad or Nixon?" I ask with a frown.

"That's all the answer I need." He flashes me the biggest smile I've ever seen.

"What do you mean?"

"Sweetheart, if you were in love with Chad, you never would've thought I was talking about Nixon. So, you're either questioning your feelings about Nixon, or you're actually in love with him. Either way, I'm happy. You'd be smart to kick Chad to the curb."

"Can you at least be nice until we head back to school? I don't want to deal with the drama."

"Anything for you, sweetheart. Let's go get some breakfast. I'm sure Mom's cooked up a feast."

Dad waits for me to stand with him, then he throws an arm over my shoulders and leads me into the kitchen. My traitorous eyes scan the room, looking for Nixon. When I don't find him, a small frown settles on my forehead.

"He ran to the store to grab me another gallon of milk. I forgot how much milk the boy drinks. He has to have bones of steel." Mom shakes her head.

"I didn't ask…"

"You didn't have to. That frown said more than your mouth ever will." She gives me a knowing look before she turns back to flipping pancakes.

"You're both making me miss my apartment. The magical land of where no one sees more than what I want them to."

"You might as well get used to it; in a few weeks you'll be back here for good. We'll be all up in your business. We've grown bored without you being home."

"Oh, my sincerest apologies. I'll make sure to bring all the drama home with me. I wouldn't want you to be bored." I roll my eyes.

The back door creaks open and Nixon strides in with two gallons of milk. He places them both in the fridge before whispering something in Mom's ear, making her giggle. She swats him with a towel and he laughs. He takes his place at her side, snatching the spatula from her hand and flipping the pancakes like he never left.

"I don't think you need to bring the drama with you, I'm pretty sure it will be here waiting for you," Dad mutters only loud enough for me to hear him.