Chapter 36

36

NIALL

A t a certain point, no amount of confidence or surety in the world could make a guy any less nervous, and right now, I was at that point. I was so completely sure about Tallulah and my feelings for her, and generally, I was a pretty confident guy, but it just didn’t seem to matter right now.

While I knew what I was doing was right, I’d been shitting bricks all day when I considered actually doing it—and then having to wait for her to answer. It was nerve-wracking. How the institution of marriage had survived when men had been going through this for centuries, I didn’t know.

All I knew was that I was on my knee now, staring up into her very surprised hazel eyes, and asking myself where I was supposed to even start. “So, uh, I know this is soon. For me, it doesn’t feel like it’s too soon, but I want you to know from the get-go that if it’s too soon for you, I won’t be a dick about it.”

I pulled in a fresh breath of air. “If you’re not ready, I’ll probably lick my wounds a bit tonight and have a few stiff drinks, but it wouldn’t be the end of us. I won’t hold it against you and everything can go right back to the way it was.”

There. I’d taken Jake’s advice about including all that.

“That’s probably the most important thing for you to know,” I said. “There won’t be any hard feelings if I’m jumping the gun here, but I want you to know that I will always be here, ready whenever you are. Because I choose you, Tallulah. I choose you now, I have chosen you every day since you walked into my office, and I will choose you every day for the rest of my life.”

I stared up into those eyes and laid every last bit of myself at her feet. At her mercy. “I’ve never been as open, as honest, or as vulnerable as I have been with you, and weirdly, I always find myself wanting to dig deeper. To be clearer. To flay open parts of my soul that I didn’t even know existed before.”

She stared back at me, tears welling in her eyes as her hands moved slowly to her chest. Pressing on it, she gaped at me. Since it didn’t look like she was about to run for the hills, I swallowed in an attempt to get some lubrication back into my mouth. Then I carried on.

“People are always talking about how their other halves have made them better people, and I think I finally understand why. I think I also finally believe that it’s true, because you have made me a better person. Not only to others, but to myself. I’ve never allowed myself to feel too much for another person and I’ve never felt the need to reflect as much as I have while I’ve been with you.”

I exhaled, my brow furrowing as the truth of how selfish I had been before I’d met her really dawned on me. “You opened my eyes to a whole new world. A world that’s filled with love, and understanding, and vibrant colors, and music, and even fear.”

I felt my lips crack into a smile. “It’s been a wild, rollercoaster of a ride for us so far, and I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but I feel like we’ve already grown so much together. We fit together, Tallulah. As far as I’m concerned, we belong together.”

She nodded enthusiastically as her gaze held mine, but she didn’t interrupt me just yet. “I know you’ve been here before and I also know that experience might not have made you particularly excited about the prospect of getting married again, but I want you to know that even if you do say yes, I wouldn’t expect it to happen before you were completely ready. All of which is really to say that it’s on your terms, my love. I know you’ve been through hell and I realize that even asking you this right now might be too much, but I would never forgive myself if I didn’t.”

I nodded. “I love you. I want you to know that I’m committed to you and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I realize that this is a risk, but it’s one I’m willing to take because I want us to start our lives together now. Today. I don’t want there to be any doubts or what-ifs. So without any further ado, will you marry me, Tallulah Pruette?”

For a moment that felt like an hour, she just kept staring back at me wordlessly. Then the tears that had been welling up in her eyes started spilling over and she nodded again and again. “Yes, I will. I will marry you, Niall.”

She took the last few strides between us quickly, racing over and crashing to her knees in front of me. Taking my face in her hands, she kept nodding, crying as her gaze met mine. “It’s so cute that you thought you had to put all that stuff in there about me being ready, because if you were anyone else, I would never have been ready to get married again, but you’re not. You’re you , and I love you. I can’t imagine spending another day of my life not being committed to you and only you.”

She moved forward then, slanting her lips over mine and kissing me deeply. It took my brain a second to catch up to what was happening, and when it finally did, I wrapped my arms around her and hauled her into me. Holding her tight, I kissed her like I’d never kissed anyone before.

We toppled over with the force of it and she laughed, winding her arms around my neck where she lay on top of me on the floor. “I love you, Niall Morrison.”

“I love you too.” I combed my fingers through her hair and cocked an eyebrow at her. “You really think it was cute?”

She chuckled, her hair hanging in a curtain around our heads as she leaned over me. “So cute, but also so romantic and understanding. When I first met you, I wouldn’t have thought you had that in you.”

“When I first met you, I didn’t have it in me,” I said, folding my fingers around the ring I was still holding in my palm and then presenting it to her. “May I?”

“Yes, please.” She sat up, her gaze suddenly stuck to the jewelry in my hand. I sat up too, with her still in my lap, and she gave me her hand. A sharp gasp came out of her when she got her first good look at the ring. “That’s amazing, Niall. It’s so beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like it,” I murmured as I slid it onto her finger. “If I have my way, you’re going to be wearing it for a long time.”

She sighed as she held it up, then winked as she shrugged at me. “Alright. I’ll do it. I guess I’ll just have to wear it forever.”

I chuckled. “Good girl. Jokes aside, are you sure you like it?”

“I love it.” The laughter vanished from her eyes as they held mine. “It’s the most stunning ring I’ve ever seen. It’s perfect.”

I slid my fingers between hers and moved her hand this way and that, admiring the sparkles that came off the stone as it caught the light. “It looks really fucking good on you. I love it.”

“Yeah?” She smiled, wiggling a little in my lap as she arched a playful eyebrow at me. “How much?”

“Too much,” I breathed, already getting hard underneath her, but then the power went out again and my plan went into action. I groaned. “Did you do this to get me back for earlier?”

“No,” she said, and I could hear her deep frown even if it was too dark to even see her face despite how close she was to me. “How could I have? I’ve been here with you all along.”

“Crap,” I muttered, pretending to get a bit stressed about it. “I wonder what the hell is going on now.”

“Maybe I broke something when I turned it back on earlier?” she said softly, but I could hear the genuine fear creeping back into her voice. “We really need to put some emergency lights in this house. It’s way too dark.”

I gripped her hips. “I’m right here, baby, but you’re right. We probably do need emergency lights, and maybe some security. If you didn’t do this and I didn’t do it…”

I trailed off for effect, and for once, I had a feeling Tallulah was pretty scared. I was still wondering if maybe I’d gone too far when Jake and Sayra jumped out of the shadows.

“Booo!” Jake hollered.

“Congratulations!” Sayra yelled.

Tallulah’s answering scream could probably have been heard from space and she stiffened on top of me until the lights popped right back on again. Dissolving into laughter, she smacked my shoulder and shook her head at me. Still pale, she hopped up to hug her friend.

“How long have you guys been here?”

Sayra chuckled as she wrapped her arms around Tallulah’s shoulders. “From somewhere around the time that you guys were making out like crazy. Seriously, though. Congratulations. I’ve never met two people as insane or insanely perfect for each other. He planned this whole thing around how much he could get your adrenaline pumping.”

“He certainly got that part right,” she said, laughing. She pulled away and gave Jake a quick hug too. “Thanks for scaring me half to death. It was awesome.”

He chuckled. “You’re welcome, but we’re taking off now. We’ve done our part. Congrats and have fun.”

Jake nodded at me, then grabbed Sayra’s hand and dragged her to the door, ignoring her protests that they could at least stay for one glass of champagne. Just before the door shut behind them, I heard him promising to buy her champagne someplace else, but then the door slammed and we were alone again.

Tallulah practically bounced back toward me, offering her hand to help me up as she grinned. “You really outdid yourself tonight, babe. Payback is going to be a bitch, though. I’m going to make you pee yourself.”

“I don’t doubt it,” I said as I stood, sliding my fingers through hers and leading her toward the kitchen. “Can we call a truce for tonight? I’ve got champagne and some plans for guzzling it off your naked body.”

She giggled, nodding. As we passed the dining room, her palms flew up to cover her mouth once more and her eyes went wide as she glanced at me. “When did you do this? I could’ve sworn I checked in here when I was looking for you.”

I pumped my eyebrows at her. “I had everything ready, so I started setting it all up while you were upstairs. Then Jake and Sayra finished it off and lit the candles for us.”

She drifted into the room like she couldn’t help herself, and I grinned. We’d set up her dining room for a gothic-style picnic, with a black tablecloth and white and red rose petals strewn around the table and the floor. Elaborate silver candlesticks were dotted around the room, thick, cream-colored candles adorning each of them.

A bottle of champagne chilled in an ice bucket next to the table and a few platters of snacks took up the space on the actual tabletop. My favorite part of it, however, was the thick black blanket I’d laid out on the floor, covering it with gray, red, and white decorative cushions so that it looked like a little nest just for us.

As Tallulah gaped and finally sank down on the blanket, I poured us each a flute of champagne and then joined her, wrapping my free arm around her waist and pulling her closer until she was practically on my lap again. “I know I’ve already aired out most of my feelings, but you should know that I don’t plan on stopping. At least not tonight. I have so many hopes for our future, like taking our kids trick or treating on Halloween and doing up the house like a European castle for Christmas. I just can’t actually believe I’ve been thinking about any of that stuff or that I’m sharing it with you.”

She giggled and clinked her glass against mine. “I can’t wait to hear about it, but what I can’t believe right now is that you did all this for me. It’s incredible, Niall. Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” I replied softly, leaning in to kiss her knowing that this time, no one was going to jump out of the shadows and make us stop.