4. Sam

Itake a deep breath and smooth my hands down my green button-down. With one final scan of my clean-shaven face, I leave my bathroom to find some shoes.

This isn’t a date,I remind myself for the umpteenth time. I can’t afford to think of it that way or my nerves will get the best of me.

And being nervous is not an emotion I’m used to feeling. I’ve always been overly self-assured. Putting myself out there has never been a problem, but when it comes to Carter Ellis, I lose every ounce of confidence I have. His blue eyes, framed by those dark-rimmed glasses, disarm me the second they meet my gaze. It’s as if he sees straight through me to the person I am on the inside.

Maybe I’ve turned the moment outside of the bathrooms at O’Malley’s into a bigger deal than it was. We only talked for a few minutes, and in that small amount of time, I broke his phone. There’s no way I could have felt a connection to Carter so quickly. It’s never happened to me before. Why would he be any different? Except… I’ve felt the same way every single time I’ve been around him. The few times he came around the firehouse with Natalie, I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. I had to force myself to keep from going right up to him and flirting. He’s my captain’s brother-in-law. He felt off-limits at that time.

But who’s to say Carter’s even feeling the same way I am? He’s probably just obliging me, knowing I can’t afford to fix his phone. Which means I need to rein in my spiraling emotions.

Once I’m feeling put together, I head downstairs to leave. The front door is right across from the bottom of the stairs. To the right is a hallway that leads to a library and a guest bedroom. To the left is the living room, which is open to the dining room and kitchen. The place came furnished, which I was grateful for.

The apartment complex I was living in was shitty, but in a small town, the options are pretty limited. I mentioned to Tucker that I was on the hunt for a new place, and he hooked me up with this house. Our police chief, Cooper Jackson, owns it with his wife, and they rent it out to whoever needs it. It’s a beautiful place, and they don’t charge me nearly enough money in rent. They both insist I pay them plenty, so I’m not going to argue with them.

Since they wouldn’t take any extra money, I told them to hit me up any time they needed a babysitter. They just had a baby girl named Charlotte, and I figure they’ll want a break in a few weeks when the sleep deprivation catches up with them.

I’m probably one of the last guys on their list of support people they’ll call to babysit, but I’d be happy to do it if they asked.

I get into my car and head toward Donna’s Bar. The parking lot is only a quarter full since it’s Wednesday. I can’t decide if that’s good or bad. Fewer people will give me and Carter a chance to talk without having to shout. More people would help to provide a distraction during any awkward silences.

My boots crunch over the gravel as I walk inside. Donna’s Bar is a staple in Sonoma. It’s the only bar in town, so it can get pretty crowded on the weekends. The log cabin exterior matches the hunting lodge feel on the inside. It’s a cozy space where everyone is welcome, no matter who you are.

Carter isn’t here yet, so I order a drink at the bar. Cheryl is working, as usual, and pulls a beer from the tap for me. When the door opens, I turn to look over my shoulder. Carter walks in, looking gorgeous with his dark hair a mess of waves as if he ran his hands over it in an attempt to tame it. His jeans are molded perfectly around his thighs, and his navy blue Henley fits across his chest as if it were made for him specifically.

His blue eyes pop even more with his shirt, and the minute he sees me, they light up. He’s got a crooked smile that I find endearing. I don’t think he does it on purpose, which only makes me want to get him to smile more.

He saunters over to the stool next to mine. The gentle scent of spicy oak washes over me as he sits down, and I have to hold myself back from shoving my nose into his neck. I want to know if it’s cologne or a mouth-watering soap. Either way, I want to bathe in it.

Carter hits me with his smile again, and I grin in return. I find myself getting a little lost in his blue eyes. Does he have any idea what that stare does to me? No one has ever looked at me the way he does.

Cheryl’s presence allows me a respite from the intensity. “What can I get ya?” she asks Carter.

“Another of whatever he’s drinking, please,” Carter orders.

“Put it on my tab, Cheryl.”

“You got it, honey.” She smiles and moves to pull Carter’s beer.

He turns to me. “Thank you. It really wasn’t necessary for you to buy me a drink.”

“I wanted to. I promise not to go sprinting out the door without a glance this time.” I huff out a self-deprecating laugh.

Cheryl hands Carter his beer, and he takes a sip. “Is everything okay? It seemed like an emergency.”

“Yeah, my mom…” I sigh, shaking my head. “She just needed my help with something.” No way am I going into the mess of a relationship I have with my mom. Carter would run for the hills if I told him those dirty details.

“Ah. Moms are pretty good at getting us to do whatever they need. Did you grow up around here?”

“No, I grew up in Greensboro. After working at a station in the city for a few years, I was ready to find something a little slower-paced. I applied to a bunch of houses in the surrounding area, and Sonoma’s the one I got.”

His eyes widen in surprise. “That must’ve been a big change.”

I laugh. “It wasn’t too bad. The guys at the house welcomed me with open arms, and I love living in a place where people know their neighbors and genuinely care about them.”

“And have no sense of boundaries either,” Carter teases.

“Tell me about it. I can’t even count the number of blind dates I’ve been set up on. At first, I thought those old ladies were being genuine when they said they wanted me to meet friends, until I finally caught on to their schemes. It got to the point where I finally had to come out to them. I figured small-town prejudice would likely put an end to it, but nope, they just started trying to find guys instead.”

There had been a couple of ladies who’d made comments saying they didn’t know anyone “like that”. I wasn’t surprised by what they said. I’d honestly prepared for worse. What did surprise me was Alice, Cooper Jackson’s mom. She’d frowned at the two ladies and asked them what they meant by that. They sputtered an explanation and then hightailed it away from us with silly excuses. Alice rolled her eyes and promptly said, “Good riddance.” Then immediately went into matchmaker mode.

Carter throws his head back with a laugh. “You’re kidding.”

I shake my head. “They’re relentless. Alice Jackson is the worst one of them. Now that both her sons have found their women, she’s turned her sights on me.” When I moved into Quinn’s rental house, Alice came by with a care package. In the basket was a phone number for a guy her sister knows in Greensboro. She’s asked me no less than six times if I’ve reached out to the guy. I finally just lied and told her I was talking to someone I met in the city.

“That’s priceless. I’m glad I live in Westlake now. After growing up here, I’m sure they’d be on me just as much as you.”

“They’d probably try to set us up together.” I throw the suggestion out there as if it’s an offhand comment and not a calculated risk.

Carter looks at me with interest in his eyes and a smirk tilting the corner of his mouth. “They absolutely would. It’s a bit of a surprise they haven’t yet.”

“Well… you can be a little intimidating.” I grin at him to tell him I’m mostly teasing. The few times I’ve seen him around, his expression has always been very stoic. If he’s around his brothers, he’ll crack a smile or joke around, but without them there, he’s very serious. I can imagine the ladies in town don’t know for sure if he is gay.

“Me?” He scoffs. “I’m the furthest thing from intimidating.”

“I’ve always found you to be a little imposing. You get this look on your face that says fuck off, and I never wanted to bother you.”

He frowns down at his beer. “I don’t mean to be like that. I get overwhelmed in public sometimes.”

“Hey.” I reach over to put my hand on his arm. “You never need to apologize for being yourself. I was only teasing you. The honest reason I didn’t come talk to you is because I was too chicken to do it.”

He looks at me as if he doesn’t believe me.

“It’s true. I’d see you at the fundraisers or the random times you’d come to the house, and my stomach would knot up. You’d be laughing with your siblings, and all I’d want to do is find out what you were laughing about. I never could gather up the nerve to talk to you. Running into you at O’Malley’s was like fate finally giving me the push to talk to you.”

“I’m glad it did, even though it felt like I walked straight into a brick wall.” He laughs. His cheeks flush, and my smile is blinding.

“I’d apologize, but I’ve worked my ass off for these muscles.” I fake a flex of my biceps and am rewarded when Carter checks them out.

“Do you have to maintain a workout regimen to be a firefighter?”

“There are certain physical requirements we have to meet, but nothing like the workouts I do. It’s a stress reliever for me, so I enjoy pushing the limits.”

“I’ve never been much for lifting weights. I do bodyweight stuff to stay healthy, and I run to keep up with my siblings when we play soccer, but that’s about it.”

“Well, whatever you do, it’s working for you.”

Carter’s cheeks flush deliciously pink at my compliment. Who knew the stoic man I’ve drooled over for years was actually just shy? It only makes me more determined to finally make a move.