22. Sam

Brody pushes the shopping cart down the aisle while I grab items off the shelf. The rest of the crew is spread throughout the grocery store. Each of us took a portion of the shopping list to make this trip go faster. It’s never fun when we get called out while we’re in the middle of buying groceries.

“How’s your mom doing?” Brody asks, grabbing some flour off the shelf.

“Great. We found her a nice little apartment in the city close to where she works, and she seems really happy.”

“That’s good to hear. I know you’re always worried about her.”

“Yeah, I think she might finally be able to stand on her own two feet without needing me. It’s a weight off my shoulders, to say the least. Not that I’d ever tell her that.”

“Is this news the reason for the happy puppy look you’ve been sporting recently, or is it a certain computer nerd who looked at you like you hung the moon?” Brody teases.

“He did not look at me like that.” I scoff.

“Yes, he did. We all saw it when we were at Donna’s after the fundraiser.”

“We were all rip-roaring drunk. You must’ve been seeing things.”

“No, you were drunk off your ass. The rest of us were just normal drunk.”

“He looked at me like that? Even then?” The thought makes me giddy.

“Mm-hmm. That’s what I thought.”

“What?”

Brody laughs. “The look on your face says it all. I’m glad you found a good guy, Sam. You deserve to have someone in your corner.”

“I have you,” I point out.

“Sure, but there’s a difference between a best friend and a partner.”

I tilt my head. “True. He’s a great guy.”

“Good. He better be.”

“What about you? I haven’t seen you talking to anyone recently.”

Brody pushes our cart toward the checkout counter. We stay out of the way of other shoppers until the rest of the guys meet up with us.

“Nah. I’m kind of done with the dating scene. All the women here I either went to high school with or have already dated.”

“Downside to living in a small town,” I commiserate.

“Tell me about it.”

Charlie and Daniel meet up with us at the front of the store, and I catch Brody staring at Charlie a little too long than would be normal. I raise my eyebrow at him, and he shakes his head. Huh. Does that mean he doesn’t want me to ask or that they haven’t dated? It could be both, I guess. I’ll be asking him later whether he wants me to or not.

The rest of the crew comes up to the front of the store right afterward, and we manage to get checked out and back to the house before a call comes in.

Another house fire across town has us jumping into our gear. I fucking love my job most days. The adrenaline that pumps through my system when the alarm sounds is like nothing else. Not to mention the physicality of fighting a fire. It’s addicting.

I’m also not stupid enough to miss the connection between taking care of my mom and becoming a first responder for other people in need. I have to do what I can to ease anyone’s suffering.

“Fuck,” Brody whispers as we pull up to the scene. Most of the first floor is engulfed in flames. This is a bad one. I hope no one is inside.

We jump out of the truck, each of us focusing on our jobs to prepare for this fire.

“Neighbors called this one in,” Chief James says. “Family of three. Bedrooms are upstairs, and it’s unconfirmed if they are in residence.”

Tucker’s commanding voice takes over. “All right, Charlie and Sam, you’re up for search and rescue. Brody, get them upstairs with the ladder. Make it quick. I’ve got a bad feeling about this one.”

We fall in, Brody jumping on the ladder while Charlie and I don our gear to go into the house. Once the ladder is in place, we’re breaking the window open into what I’m betting is a guest bedroom. The smoke is intense with the door open.

Charlie and I fight through the waves of heat surrounding us. We move together down the hallway when the floor begins to shake. I scan the area and know with everything I have, this house will go down any minute. “The west side of the second floor is about to go, Cap,” I say over the comms. “If we go any further, we’ll go down with the house.”

“Then get out of there,” Tucker replies.

There’s a bedroom door a couple of steps away, and knowing there could be a baby in there, I take a chance in checking it before we get out of the house.

When I get the door open, the smoke from the hallway pours into the small space. My eyes land on a crib across the room, and I move toward it. A tiny bundle lies in the middle of the bed. “Cap, I’ve got the baby.” I scoop them out of their crib and cradle them to my chest.

“We need to get out, Sam,” Charlie says.

“Baby is secure. Let’s go.” We hurry back toward the guest bedroom where the ladder is waiting for us. Charlie goes down first. She offers to take the baby from me, but for some reason, I can’t let them go.

I hurry down the ladder and rush over to Tyler and Jason. The minute they take the baby, they start them on oxygen and check on vitals. The little pink blanket makes me wonder if it’s a little girl.

I rip my mask off to get a breath of fresh air. The sound of wood cracking has me looking toward the house. The entire west side collapses in on itself. Something in my chest cracks. The parents had to have been home. The baby wouldn’t have been by herself. Could I have gotten them out in time? If I’d passed the baby to Charlie and gone back for them, would I have been able to find them?

The hard truth is I probably would’ve died in that fire if I’d gone back. My weight would’ve likely caused the house to be unbalanced and collapse faster.

I hang my head. As much as I love this job, it fucking sucks in these moments.

A hand grips my shoulder. “You did the right thing, Sam.”

“I know, Cap. Doesn’t make it any easier, though.” I look up at Tucker and see the anguish in his eyes. We take a moment to think about the parents and then get back to our jobs. We have to ensure the fire doesn’t spread to the other houses in the neighborhood. It’s going to be a long afternoon, and all I want to do is hug Carter.

Unfortunately, I can’t even hug him tomorrow when I’m off. He’s going to Greensboro for his monthly team meeting, which means he’ll be gone all day.

I’ll be left with my thoughts, and that’s never good. I’ll have to settle for a phone call when we get back to the house.

It takes us hours to get the fire put out, and Chief calls in the county investigators to get an idea of how this fire started. We found the parents on the main floor in the living room. They were already gone by the time we got to the house. I haven’t decided if that’s a good thing or not. At the very least, it solidifies that the choice I made was the right one. I wish I knew what happened. How could they have slept through a fire alarm going off?

It doesn’t make any sense, but the investigators will find out what happened. When we get back to the house, everyone is subdued. I find Taylor later on to ask him about the baby.

“The smoke damage was intense. Since she’s so young, they’re not sure how well she’ll recover. It’ll be a waiting game.” Taylor curls his lips in and pats me on the shoulder. What happens next? Does she go into foster care? Maybe she has other relatives somewhere. I hope that’s the case. She’s going to need someone to give her extra love and care after everything she’s been through.

Feeling adrift, I make my way to my bunk and call Carter.

“Hey, Smoky.” Just his voice makes the tightness in my chest ease a little.

“Hey.”

“You okay?”

I sigh. “We had a really tough call today. I just… needed to hear your voice.”

“Want me to listen or distract you?”

I find myself smiling at how good he is at reading a situation. Instead of giving me empty platitudes, he’s giving me the chance to decide what I need most right now. “A distraction, please.”

“Hmm. Oh! I never told you what happened after my conversation with Nolan at dinner the other night.” His laugh alone takes away some of my stress. Then his story about Nolan’s bisexual experiment does exactly what I needed and allows my mind to focus on something else.

“Turns out, my suggestion about imagining giving a blow job backfired. It was all Nolan could think about, and when he gets fixated on something, he can’t let it go. So, he asked one of his friends to experiment with him. I made sure Nolan was upfront with the guy before he did anything, of course. And as it turns out, Nolan is definitely not bisexual, per his words.”

“Can you imagine Nolan touching some guy’s junk as an experiment?” I ask. If it was anyone else, I’d think they were being insensitive. But Nolan is such a genuine guy in everything he does. I know he must’ve had some serious doubts about his sexuality.

Carter snorts. “Absolutely not, but I wish I could’ve been a fly on that wall. I hate that he was worried about it, though.”

“At least he felt comfortable coming to you with questions.”

“Yeah, that’s true. And that he found a dude who was both kind and secure enough to let him explore.”

“We both know it doesn’t always go that way.”

“No fucking joke.”

We’re quiet for a minute until Carter interrupts the silence. “Are you going to be okay, Smoky?”

“Yeah, I am. Thank you for distracting me for a bit, though.”

“I’d do anything for you.”