21. Carter

“How would I know if I’m bisexual?”

The sip of beer I just took goes straight out of my nose at Nolan’s question.

“Jesus, Nolan. Warn a guy before you say something like that. What the fuck are you talking about?” I glance around to make sure Tucker and Natalie’s son, Noah, isn’t anywhere close. Thankfully, we’re alone in the living room of my parents’ house, which is probably the reason Nolan decided to ask his question.

He heaves a big sigh. “I’m striking out in the women department, brother. Like… I’ve been dessert dry for, like, three months.”

“And why does that make you question your sexuality?”

“Not a single one is doing it for me. Like, negative attraction. I was just thinking that maybe I’m no longer attracted to them and should switch to men.”

I look at Nolan’s face and realize he’s being 100 percent serious. This isn’t a joke to him. “Well…” I inhale and hold it as I try to figure out a way to help him decide if he’s bisexual or not. Finally, I blow out the breath I’m holding and put it to him straight. “Have you ever fantasized about another guy’s cock?”

Nolan frowns. “I mean, I’ve always wondered what a dick would feel like in my mouth.”

I purse my lips. “In the sense that you’d want to get someone off or just sheer curiosity?”

“Huh. Curiosity, I guess.” I give him a second to think about it. “Yeah, now that you mention it, I don’t think I’d particularly enjoy having someone blow their load in my mouth. It’s one thing to kiss a girl after she’s done it for me; that’s just good manners. Not to mention it’s hot as fuck.”

“There ya go. It’s pretty rude to expect the guy to go down on you and not do the same for him.”

Nolan grins at me. “Thanks, bro.” He stands from the couch and heads back into the kitchen. I shake my head in exasperation. I never know what’s going to come out of Nolan’s mouth.

Thankfully, Matthew and his girlfriend, Tilly, come walking in with Adam and Ellie right behind them. Ellie and Tilly are giggling about something, and it’s so nice to see Tilly smiling. She and Matthew just got home from New York, and from what Matthew has said, she’s been struggling to overcome her trauma.

I stand to say hello, hugging my brothers and Ellie first. When Tilly steps into me for a side hug, I give her an extra squeeze. Matthew’s soft smile when he looks at her makes me happy.

“It’s good to have you home, Tills. I missed watching you kick Nolan’s ass at Mario Kart,” I tease her.

Her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “He looks like a kid not getting to eat dessert when he loses.”

All of us laugh. “You’ve got that right.”

“Are you talking about dessert?” Nolan pipes up from behind me, which makes us laugh harder. He frowns. “What? What are you laughing at?”

Matthew slaps him on the shoulder, moving our little circle further into the living room. “Nothing, little brother. Don’t worry about it.”

“I fucking hate it when you guys do that. Why am I the one who’s always left out?” Nolan gripes.

“Because you’re the baby. You got away with so much shit we never would’ve gotten away with. We have to make sure you remember your place every now and then,” Adam says.

“Assholes,” he grumbles.

We pile into the living room as Sara and Ben join us. Natalie comes waddling in, as well, with Noah behind her, carrying a water glass as carefully as his six-year-old hands can.

When she sits down, Noah sets the glass next to her. “Do you need anything else, Mommy?”

Natalie rubs her very pregnant belly and gives Noah a soft smile. “No, darling boy. Thank you.”

“Okay, I’m gonna help Grandma in the kitchen.” He turns and runs back the way he came.

“How you feelin’, Mama?” Sara reaches out to rub Natalie’s belly. She’s due in August, and the whole family is overjoyed about it. I can’t wait to have another little nephew to spoil.

“Large, swollen, and totally pampered by my boys.” Her smile is wide and happy.

“Sam and Tucker on shift today?” Adam asks.

Natalie and I both nod. I’m still finding it strange that I’m dating someone my family has met in the capacity of my boyfriend. I also wish he could be here for dinner, which is even stranger.

I pull out my phone because not only am I dying to tell him about my conversation with Nolan, but I’m also missing him.

Me

Nolan just asked me how he could tell if he was bisexual.

I tuck my phone away, not expecting an answer right away. Matthew and Adam are asking Ben about his foundation to help people in need with their pet’s medical bills. Ben and Sara run the Sonoma Animal Clinic together. Ben is a veterinarian, and Sara is a vet tech.

“Things have been good. I’m going to need someone to run the foundation for me soon. The amount of paperwork is starting to get overwhelming.”

“I could help if you want,” Tilly says in a quiet voice.

“Really? It’s not complicated, and honestly, I don’t think it would be forever. Just until we can catch back up again.” Sara grins at Tilly.

“It would be nice to have something to do instead of moping around Matthew’s house.” Tilly shrugs as if her moping is something silly.

“I might kiss you, Tills. Thank you! We can chat next week if you want.” Sara bounces with excitement.

“Back off. She’s mine.” Matthew wraps his arm around her shoulder and kisses her temple. Tilly laughs, but then she snuggles deeper into Matthew’s hold. I wonder if Matthew read something in her body language and knew she needed an out.

“Any updates on the break-in, Carter?” Adam asks.

I shake my head. “Unfortunately not. My security guys got everything set up yesterday, so I’m back in my house now. It’s some high-tech shit, too.”

“Good. Let’s hope it’s a deterrent in case the assholes decide to come back.”

I’m still working on getting all my stuff replaced. Of course, I made sure my office was back up and running first thing. I couldn’t really afford to take the time off, but I didn’t have much of a choice. I’m back now and more determined to get back to my regular work days. I decided I wasn’t going to throw myself into finding out why the database was so wrong in the first place. If I’ve got extra time, I’ll work on it, but I’d rather spend my time with Sam instead of killing myself on a project only I care about.

“Okay, kids! Come gather ‘round the table. Dinner is ready,” Mom shouts from the dining room.

My phone buzzes as we find our places at the packed table.

Smoky

You’re kidding. lt;laughing emojigt;

Did you help him figure it out?

Me

Yeah, I asked him to imagine giving a blow job, and he quickly decided being bi wasn’t for him.

Smoky

I’m dying. That’s funny as fuck.

Me

He’s something else, I tell ya. Is it weird to say I wish you were here?

Smoky

Not in the slightest. I’m glad you want me to spend time with your family. I like them. They’re fun.

Me

If I made sure the next one wasn’t when you were on shift, would you want to come?

Smoky

Absolutely.

My grin is electric as I tuck my phone away before Mom can get on to me for having it out.

“Ellie and I have decided on a wedding date,” Adam announces, causing everyone around the table to stop talking instantly.

“Really?” Mom squeals.

Adam grabs Ellie’s hand. “We don’t want any major fanfare, so we booked the church in Sonoma for September. It’s just going to be us and a few friends. However, we will have photos done, and those will be shared with the public.”

“That sounds perfect.” Sara smiles.

“What about you guys? Have you talked about dates yet?” Mom asks Sara and Ben.

“Not yet. We’re not in any hurry right now,” Ben answers, much to Mom’s disappointment. Thankfully, she doesn’t say anything more about it, and we dig into dinner. Conversation flows around the table. As usual, I sit back and listen, only offering input when I have something I want to add. Being the quiet one of a very large family allows me to pay attention to things my siblings normally miss.

I used to worry about how hard Matthew and Adam were working to build their company. I could see how lonely Sara was despite her attempts at feigning indifference. Nolan was brilliant at hiding behind his clown act when I knew he was struggling to find his purpose.

I see each of my siblings now and can’t imagine they could be any happier. Maybe that’s why I’m this happy with Sam. The worry I harbored for my siblings isn’t as strong anymore, which has made room for Sam to worm his way into my heart.

I’m sure I’ll always worry about my siblings, but now I have someone to share those worries with. How refreshing is that?