CHAPTER SEVEN

"I'm hungry, and the food here is shit. There's a little diner about a mile east called Reds. I'll be there for the next half hour or so, grabbing something to eat." The brown-haired guy—Wes, who'd sat next to Noah at the bar—stood, and walked out. Noah didn't watch him go. Didn't have to, to know he'd enjoy the view. He was sexy as hell, strong jaw with the right amount of stubble that Noah liked. He loved the way stubble felt against his skin.

He also knew that even though he rarely picke d someone up at a bar, that's exactly what he would do tonight. It's what he came out for, after all.

It hadn't been ten m inutes that he'd been here when he'd noticed Wes looking at him. At first he'd turned away each time Noah met his eyes. When Noah let his gaze linger enough, Wes got the message—Noah was gay too. He'd come right up to the bar and took the stool next to him, and ordered a drink. They bullshitted a little, not too much, because the last thing he wanted, was to risk shit going down, but now Wes had solved that problem for them.

Raising a hand, Noah signaled the bartender over. "How much?"

He closed-out his tab, not that it was large, and he paid before climbing into his Mustang to find Reds. As soon as he pulled in, he saw Wes through a window, sitting in a booth alone.

"Hey," he said , a few minutes later as he approached him.

"Hey." Wes nodded to the seat across from him, and Noah sat down. "I'm only getting coffee and a piece of pie."

That sounded about perfect to Noah. Would fill the hole, and be quick , too. The waitress approached them at that, and they both ordered their coffee and apple pie.

"Lived a round here long?" Noah asked. He'd headed closer toward Denver, though not too far from home, figuring it would be much easier to meet someone. He'd almost gone all the way to the city to find a club downtown, but that wasn't really his scene. He didn't mind going if he had someone with him, but wasn't much into going alone.

"Nah. Not from around here. I live in California. I'm spending time with my sister while she's sick, helping her take care of her kid and all. I needed a night away though." He shrugged. "I wasn't sure where to go."

There was a sadness to him that Noah hadn't noticed before. It immediately made him feel for the man. "Sorry to hear about your sister. I hope everything's okay."

He looked toward the window , making Noah realize that it probably wouldn't be.

The waitress returned, and set their mugs and food in front of them. "What about you?" Wes asked , when she left.

"I actually live in Blackcreek. I've only been back about a month now, but I lived there for a few years when I was younger."

Wes nodded , but didn't ask where Blackcreek was, making Noah wonder if he knew.

They spent about thirty minutes eating and talking. It wasn't about anything at all really , and he wondered if maybe picking someone up in a bar was even more of a rarity for Wes than it was for him. He liked the guy though. There was something about him that Noah connected to.

After getting their bill, Noah asked, "Are you lookin' to leave with me?"

"As long as you know it's just tonight. I have too much shit on my plate right now."

"That's all I want, too." The problem was they obviously couldn't go to Wes's. Not with a sick sister, and her kid there. Hotels were always an option but, fuck he hated going there. It made him feel like his mother. Like he was sneaking away somewhere, to do something he shouldn't.

Coop won't be home tonight, he said so himself . It felt weird as hell to bring someone to Cooper's house. It wasn't something they'd talked about, but again, he wouldn't be there. He made sure Noah knew to make himself at home. He paid rent to live there. "You want to follow me to my place? It's a bit of a drive but…"

"Let's go." Wes stood and Noah did the same. Each took some money out of their pockets and tossed it to the table.

This was exactly what he needed. He'd fuck thoughts of Cooper out of his head, and maybe it would give Wes a little bit of peace, too.

The drive home felt quicker than it should. Noah was in a daze for part of it , but the second he closed the door behind them, he saw clear and knew what he wanted.

Sex. Release.

Noah's lips came down hard on Wes's. Their tongues battled for dominance, Wes obviously wanting it as much as Noah. The temperature in his body went up about a million degrees, his cock instantly going hard. This is what he loved about being with a man—the fight, the fact that he didn't have to hold back and hoped like hell the other guy wouldn't with him either.

Noah pulled away. "Take off your shirt."

Wes didn't need to be asked twice. He pulled the shirt over his head and dropped it to the floor. Noah only gave himself a few seconds to enjoy the view , before backing Wes up until he hit the wall. There was a clattering sound, something on the wall maybe, but he didn't take the time to pay attention.

Noah crushed his body against Wes's. Wes leaned forward but Noah pulled back, out of his reach. "What do you like?"

Wes smiled. "I'm verse, but tonight I want to be fucked. It doesn't mean I won't try and take control though."

Just what he wanted to hear. He loved being in control, loved driving another man wild. Didn't mean he didn't like the battle for it, though.

Noah ripped his shirt over his head. Wes groaned, his eyes on the piercing in his nipples. Noah smiled. Like he'd told Cooper, men liked it.

Shit. Why did he have to go and think about Coop right now? The whole point was to get his friend out of his head.

He pressed his mouth to Wes's again. The other man's fingers went to the button on Noah's pants, pushing it through the hole, then ran his hand through Noah's hair. Noah let his lips trail down Wes's throat. Pulled him away from the wall, stumbling toward his room.

That's when he saw him. Cooper . Standing at the base of the stairs, in nothing but pair of jeans like Noah and Wes. His eyes were riveted on them, blazing with fire that Noah wished could possibly mean Cooper wanted him. He could pretend that wasn't what he wanted, but he knew it would be a lie.

"Aw, fuck. You're with someone?" Wes asked.

Noah couldn't look away from Cooper when he answered. "No." His heart thundered, his hands fisted yet he didn't know why. Noah forced himself to break eye contact with Coop, and looked at Wes. He owed him an explanation for whatever the hell his weirdness was. "He's my roommate."

Then he looked at Cooper again. "I didn't think you'd be home tonight."

He stood there for what felt like hours, studying Noah , before turning and walking up the stairs. Noah let out a heavy breath, his erection long gone. Too many thoughts crowded his brain, questions about Cooper's reaction, and then guilt for whatever confusion this caused Wes.

When he looked at the other man, he was already grabbing his shirt. Noah closed his eyes and shook his head before saying, "I'm sorry. I don't know what that was about."

"Then you're a fool." Wes pulled the black T-shirt over his head.

I wish. "It's not that. He's straight. He just found out I'm gay, and this is the first time he's seen me with someone. I'm guessing, it was harder for him to accept than he thought."

Wes chuckled. "It would have been fun."

"Yeah…yeah it would have. Maybe we still could—"

"No."

Noah figured Wes was right. "Let me walk you out." He followed Wes to his truck. When they got there, he leaned over in the seat, scribbled something on a piece of paper and then handed it to Noah.

"Depending on Chelle, I'll be around for a while. Gimme a call if you ever want to have a drink again."

The tone of Wes's voice told him that's all it would ever be. And he was okay with that. He liked the guy. He could hang out with him. "Thanks for understanding—not that I really have a clue what's going on."

Wes nodded.

"Take care of your sister. I hope she's okay."

Wes started the truck, and he was gone. Noah sighed, but didn't have much time to try and figure out why in the fuck, Cooper had walked away from him because he heard the house door close. Coop walked around the side of the house with a woman, to where he assumed they'd parked.

Fuck. Maybe that was it. Coop had brought someone home , and Noah having someone there at the same time, made him uncomfortable.

Or maybe…he wished like hell, Wes could have been right.

***

"Are you okay?" Adrianna asked Cooper , as she climbed into her car.

No, he wasn't. He really fucking wasn't. "Yeah, I'm sorry tonight had to end before it really had the chance to get started. Something came up. I didn't realize my roommate was bringing someone home."

"No, it's fine. I need to be home early tonight , anyway. I'm just worried about you. You were white as a ghost when you came upstairs."

That's because I saw my friend with another man. Saw them together and wanted… "Rain check?" he asked.

"If you're lucky," Adrianna winked, started the car , and drove away.

Part of him wanted to stay out here all night but he forced himself inside. He couldn't look at Noa h when he closed the door, but rather, started pacing the living room. His muscles hurt they were so tense. His heart pounded harder than he ever remembered it beating before.

And his brain? Fuck, he wanted nothing but to turn the thing off. To turn anything off inside himself that could think, feel…or become aroused.

"What's wrong, man? You're scaring the hell out of me." Noah leaned against the living room wall, his arms crossed. Cooper groaned, wishing like hell he didn't look at the man. Didn't see concern in his eyes. His hair tousled from the hands that had been running through it. Wished like hell he would put on a shirt.

"Fuck!" Cooper punched the wall. Pain shot through his hand and up his arm, but he didn't care. He wanted m ore of it to help him block the thoughts he tried to evict from inside him.

" Christ," Noah hissed. "Talk to me. What happened? Did it freak you out that I brought someone home? Did it make you more uncomfortable than you thought it would?"

Yeah. Only not in the way he expected. Cooper actually felt like he could cry. Scream. He didn't understand anything going on , and he wanted nothing more than to set fire to the thoughts. Burn them into ash so they could never form in his brain again. A dream was one thing but this? This was… "What the fuck's wrong with me? There's something wrong with me."

He slid down the wall and crumpled to the floor. He sat there, back against the wall, but feeling like he had nothing to hold him up.

"Coop." Noah's voice cracked, and Cooper couldn't stop himself from looking at his friend. The pain and understanding in his dark brown eyes simultaneously comforted, scared, and embarrassed him. In that moment Noah saw something in him, Cooper knew no one had ever seen before. Saw deeper than Coop even knew was there.

And he couldn't turn away.

As much as the words scared him, he couldn't not share this. Couldn't not trust his friend with what he was feeling, even though it killed him. "I saw you with him." It was hell when the one person you always felt like you could tell everything to, was the one to have you tied in knots. The one you wanted to run from. Needed, too, yet Cooper couldn't make himself flee.

"Jesus. I saw you kissing that guy and…what the hell is wrong with me? I had a beautiful woman in my bed and…shit." Cooper shook his head. Slid both hands through his hair and yanked as though that would somehow change things. "I wanted to kill him."

I wanted to be him…

Dizziness hit him. All he could do was thank God he was already sitting down. Noah watched him. His eyes intense, looking, searching, always finding things inside Cooper that no one else could see.

They burned Cooper's skin and were bright with…fuck. He didn't even want to think of that.

Noah took a step toward him, but when Cooper shook his head, he stopped. He only had on jeans, the button undone and Cooper hated himself for even noticing that. For looking at the cut of his abs, and the long muscles of his arms.

He jerked his head the opposite direction. Still he couldn't quiet his brain that kept telling him he shouldn't be thinking the things he was, and everything else that begged him to explore his thoughts.

"Cooper," Noah started, but Coop squeezed his eyes shut , and Noah stopped talking. Which made no sense considering Noah couldn't even see his face, but somehow he'd known.

"I've never felt jealousy like that in my life." He spoke so softly , he wondered if Noah could even hear him. Somehow he knew he could, which was good since he didn't have it in him to speak any louder. He saw Noah's hands on the other man's waist as he'd kissed him against the wall. Saw Noah's nails digging in. Saw how roughly Noah had had practically slammed the other man into the wall. He hadn't had to be gentle. It had been rough and primal, and it splintered every fucking thing Cooper thought of himself. Hit buttons he didn't know he had, and sprouted feelings he wanted to forget.

"It's wrong. Tell me it's fucking wrong, Noah. That I shouldn't feel this way. It's not right."

He heard Noah come toward him. Knew his friend stood across from him, probably leaning against the back of the couch, but Cooper still couldn't make himself look at him.

"You think I'm wrong, Coop? The way I live my life? Is that what you're saying? That I shouldn't feel or be attracted to men?"

Cooper heard it. The pain, disappointment, and anger in Noah's voice.

"No." He finally managed to look at him. He was such a pussy, sitting on the floor like this, but couldn't make himself move. "If that's who you are , then there's nothing wrong with it." But it was different for Coop. Wrong for Coop. He wasn't gay. He loved women. He'd had a lot of them. He'd been raised to believe it should be one man and one woman.

"So why does it make it wrong for you to—"

"Wonder what your hands would feel like on me like that?" He hated himself for admitting it, but needed to say it too. Needed the words out because they were the only truth he understood right now. "Wonder what it would be like to touch you? To feel you?"

Noah cursed and for the first time, Cooper couldn't read him. Had no idea what his friend was thinking. Probably because he didn't know what he was thinking either.

"What's wrong with me?" Cooper hated the weakness in his voice ; the need to even ask such a question. He knew who he was and what he wanted. He'd never been the type to try and bend to fit someone else, but this? Wanting another man? This was different.

"There's nothing wrong with you." Noah's voice was hard—not angry, but firm, telling Coop he believed what he was saying.

And then he took a step forward. And, another one.

Cooper's heart stopped. It was like a fist tightened around his chest keeping him from breathing.

Noah hadn't shaved and he noticed the stubble in his jaw. Why the fuck was he noticing that shit?

Cooper couldn't move as Noah kept walking toward him. Didn't know if he wanted to. He should, because he wasn't gay and shouldn't crave Noah to keep getting closer, but he did.

Noah stopped in front of him. Looked down at Coop while Coop looked up at his friend. His eyes said so much, but nothing at the same time. All Cooper knew, was they were intense beams pointed right at him.

Noah kneeled in front of Cooper.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he asked, panicked. Forget that Noah hadn't even done anything yet.

"I don't know," Noah replied, the same confusion in his voice that Cooper felt. Noah reached out and touched Coop's hand that rested on his knee. He looked down to see it was red, swollen from punching the wall.

But that's not what he paid attention to. He watched Noah's fingers trace his muscles. Watched as a hand that matched his in size, fucking caressed him.

He wanted to punch Noah.

Wanted to run.

Wanted to ask for more.

The touch shot up his arm as Noah explored. It wasn't like they'd never touched each other before, but this was different. This was…intimate, which in a lot of ways , Cooper felt was a stupid word for what they were doing, but it was all he could come up with.

Noah's fingers traced his, as though he was drawing them. Then slowly…slowing trailed up his arm.

Push him the fuck away!

Cooper knew he shouldn't but he watched—fascinated—and just felt .

Noah's fingers brushed his hairs as they ran up his forearm. His bicep. Cooper shivered. Couldn't take his eyes away.

Noah reversed his path, heading down again. Cooper risked a glance at him to see awe in Noah's eyes as he watched what he was doing to Cooper. Which made no sense. This was normal for him. It was what he did, but that's the only way Cooper could explain it.

When he got to Cooper's wrist, he circled it with his fingers. They touched. A woman would never be able to wrap one hand fully around his wrist like that.

And he liked it—the way they matched in so many ways. The masculinity of another man's hand on him. He fucking did, and he tried to blame all sorts of things: having his friend back in his life after all these years, drinking tonight. None of it was true though, and he knew it.

Noah lifted Cooper's hand toward him. Coop's dick ached, and the fist around his chest tightened. His brain screamed at him to use his fist to punch Noah in the face, but he didn't. He watched, savoring the large hand touching him. The way his body over-heated, trying to burn any conflicting thoughts.

Watched as Noah bent toward his hand. Watched as Noah pressed his lips to Cooper's swollen knuckles. Watched as Noah's eyes squeezed tight, his mouth still pressed to Cooper's hand, the action somehow traveling up his arm, until he felt it everywhere.

And then , Noah's eyes opened. He pulled away and Cooper finally let a heavy breath escape his lungs. A plea for Noah to touch him again, echoed through his brain.

"There's nothing wrong with you," Noah said, before he stood up. "Nothing at all."

He took a few steps backward and Cooper wanted to ask him to stop. Ask him where he was going, but he didn't. Couldn't. Part of him hoped Noah would walk out the door and never come back, because if Noah left, he could forget about wanting him. Coop could block these thoughts from his head and keep going the way he had been for his whole life.

But the other part… It wanted to trap him here. To find a way to keep Noah to himself, so he could explore the desires inflaming him.

"Take care of your hand. You should clean it and wrap it. I…I…" For the first time all evening, Noah skipped over his words, but found his ground quickly. "I have to go, before I do something both of us will regret in the morning."

And like that—no shirt and all, he walked away, grabbing his keys off the table , and slammed the door.

Cooper didn't stop him. All he could do was sit there and look at his hand.