CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Noah was surprised to hear the kitchen faucet running when he came downstairs. He hadn't known Cooper was home from his uncle's. It wasn't like Coop not to make his presence known, and it definitely wasn't like him to come home and start washing dishes. From the clanking going on in the other room, the man obviously wasn't in a very good mood.

That God damned uncle of his. Noah's body got tense just thinking about him. He didn't doubt the man loved his nephew but he always found a way to make Cooper feel like shit too. Noah always felt at odds when it came to Vernon. In some ways, the man gave Noah things his own family didn't , but just as often, he was a jerk.

Heading straight for Cooper, Noah stepped up behind him, the front of his body lined with Cooper 's. Automatically, he reached his hand around palming the bulge under Coop's zipper and put his lips next to his ear. "Need help relieving that tension?"

Cooper went rigid against him. Hell, Noah didn't even think he was breathing. He should have known this would happen. Actually , he had known it would eventually, but he didn't want to believe it.

Noah pulled his hand away from Cooper's dick and stepped back.

"Sorry. Not in the mood," Cooper mumbled, before turning off the water and drying his hands. He twisted to face Noah, his square jaw dusted with stubble. Damn, he was sexy. This would be a whole hell of a lot easier if he wasn't.

"Not in the mood, huh?"

Cooper tossed the hand towel to the counter. "Yeah. That okay with you? We said we'd see how things went. This is different for me, Noah. You can't just come up and put your hand on my cock any time you want to."

Noah crossed his arms. "I don't know the rules if you don't tell me. I've had my hands and mouth all over you. You've had yours on me too, if you don't remember. I've slept in your bed every fucking night for weeks, and now you're suddenly pissed when I touch you? You seemed to like it all the other times."

Anger shook his insides, threatening to take over. He shouldn't be this fucking mad , but he was. Not because he couldn't pleasure Cooper right now, because that's not all this was about.

H e knew what this meant. Knew it was already over, even though he didn't think it was what Coop wanted. He sure as hell knew it wasn't what he wanted.

"Fuck you, Noah." The words shot from Cooper's mouth, fast, deadly like a bullet. But then, Cooper dropped his head forward and sighed. "I don't want to fight with you. This is…this is new for me."

Noah fought the urge to go over to him, with wanting to give Cooper the space he needed. "It was new to you before as well. If you don't want to be touched, you have that right. You know I fucking believe that, and if you want to stop, we stop. I've said that from the beginning, but I find it a really big coincidence that you came in my mouth just this morning and after one visit to your uncle's, you don't want me to touch you."

I t was Coop who then walked over to Noah, who stood next to the kitchen table. It was Cooper who put his hands flat on that very same table, so his arms were around Noah. It was Cooper who dropped his forehead to Noah's shoulder, and Cooper who inhaled a deep breath as though wanting to take in the scent of Noah.

And that made Noah hard as a rock. He loved the scent of a man. Loved Cooper's especially. He ached to believe that Cooper wanted to take in Noah's scent as well.

Finally, Coop spoke. "They're the only family I have, Noah. They took care of me when my parents died."

There it was, the truth Noah always knew anyway. Still he had to ask, "So you believe what we're doing is wrong, because they don't approve?"

Cooper paused before replying. "I'm not gay, Noah. That's all that fucking matters. I…I don't know what was going on with me. Maybe it was curiosity or having you back in my life , and being close to you again. Who the hell knows? But I'm not gay. I've never wanted a man before."

"You want one now." Noah grabbed Cooper's hips and held him. Didn't pull him closer, but needed to touch him. Maybe , he shouldn't have said anything. Maybe, he should have just walked away, but he needed to hear the words. Yes, Coop did want him. And Christ, he wanted to feel him, even if it was for the last time.

Cooper sighed, his breath warm on Noah's neck , before standing up straight again. "Wanted."

That one word pierced a hole through Noah's chest. It was all he needed to hear. "Then there's our answer." Noah dropped his hands , backed away. "It was fun while it lasted. Would have been nice to get a fuck out of it." He winked, giving Coop a half-smile he didn't really feel.

"You're never happy with what you get." Cooper did n't even try to smile, but shook his head. "We can go back? Be friends like we always were?"

The vulnerability in Cooper's voice tied Noah in knots. Cooper was usually the sure one. He always knew what he wanted, and always figured , things would just work out. Noah needed him to be that way about this, too. "Come on, man. You know us better than that. Plus, even if I didn't want to be your friend anymore, you'd bulldoze your way in like always. You're too damn used to getting your way."

Finally, Cooper smiled. "Asshole," he muttered.

"Takes one to know one." The air between them was awkward, stiff, no matter how hard they tried not to make it so. This wasn't something they could get over by teasing each other.

"Okay, I'm going to finish up these dishes." Cooper stepped back toward the sink.

"I was about to run some errands. You need anything?"

"Nope, I'm good." He didn't look at Noah when he spoke. It wasn't until he got to the door that Cooper 's voice stopped him. "Noah?"

Pausing , he turned to look at his friend. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry…I fucked it all up."

Noah felt the weight of those words in his chest. Felt them, because he knew Cooper took responsibility for so many things in his life that he didn't need to. Noah didn't want to be one of them. And hell, he didn't want to feel Cooper so deeply at all. But he did. Probably always had.

"You didn't fuck anything up. Never have."

Without another word, Noah walked out the door.

***

Cooper hated being weak , though he guessed that's exactly what he was. Calling it off with Noah like that. Caving into the, what? Urge, desire, head fuck, in the first place. Whatever it was, it was over now, the way it should be.

They continued to watch football together and work on the house. Noah left often and Cooper didn't ask where he was going. Didn't know if he was looking for a building for his store, or maybe even a new place to live. He had every right, even though it drove Cooper crazy not to know. Maybe that was best, anyway. Things would get twisted real quick if Noah brought a guy home again, and Cooper didn't even have the urge to bring someone home.

In the weeks since his visit with his family, Cooper had been working in the old building on the far side of his property. He wasn't s ure what it had been used for, and it needed a lot of work, but it gave him an escape, a reason to not be in the house with Noah too much, which made him a real bastard.

Coop sat on the couch at the firehouse, when Braden came in and joined him. "Why do you look like someone ran over your kitten, man?" Braden laughed.

Cooper shook his head. "Fuck you."

"Slow night."

"Slow nights are good." Had it been a slow night when his house caught fire? Had the men sat around like this being bored but grateful for that feeling until that bell rang?

"No shit. I was just saying."

It was a little over a week until the anniversary of his parents ' death. He fucking hated that day. The nightmares would probably start up again, soon. Talk about making him feel weak. Nothing did that like waking up in the middle of the night, screaming.

Coop shifted on the couch. He was working an extra, partial shift today and would be getting off soon. He wasn't sure if he looked forward to that or not. Fuck, I'm being a pussy. He needed to get over it and get over it now.

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Don't have any plans. What's up?" Braden asked.

"Feel like getting out? Have some beers or something. It's a Friday night."

A slow grin spread across Braden's face.

Jackpot.

Braden was always up for a good time. If the guy was off, he was almost always looking for something to do. "Do you ever have to ask me if I want to go out? The answer is always , yes."

Cooper nodded. This was exactly what he needed. It wouldn't bring back that connection he missed with Noah or the friendship that was slightly strained. But maybe if he went out, had a good time with a woman, it would get wanting to have Noah Jameson out of his head for good.