CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"I don't think this back room is big enough for me to work." Noah looked around the small space. There was a possibility he could make it work , but it wasn't what he wanted.

"I was wondering about that." Cooper stepped up beside him. "I mean, there's a lot of surface with the counter all the way around the room but I don't know how much of that you need. The room is small and it doesn't leave you much ground in the middle."

Noah sighed. This was the third and last place they had to look at. Blackcreek was a small town so there weren't a lot of options. Sure he could go closer to Denver, but he also didn't want his business too far away from home. "I guess I didn't really think about shit like this when I packed up and came home." He shook his head. "If I look closer to Denver, I should probably look for a house there as well."

"What? Why would you want to do that?"

"So I wouldn't have to drive in every day. If this place is going to be mine, I don't want to be an hour away from it." Noah took care of what was his, and he didn't feel like he could do that as well from a distance.

"Yeah , but you have time. It's not like you have to make that decision now. Something else might come up here."

Noah pushed Cooper's shoulder. "Always the fucking optimist."

"I'll help you look. We'll figure something out. Don't go makin' any rash decisions."

They turned to head out. "It's hard sitting around for such a long time. I'm used to being busy. Especially the days you're at work."

Before Coop responded, they stepped outside. "What do you think?" the realtor asked.

Noah shook his head. "The front is great. I love the display window but the back is just too small."

The woman smiled at Noah. "Don't give up yet. I'm definitely not going to."

Cooper nudged him. "Yeah, that's what I said."

Noah chuckled , and asked her to call him if she found any other possibilities, and then they were climbing into Noah's Mustang. They'd spent the past two weeks since the football game together. Coop went to work, but when he wasn't there, they were watching TV, working on the house, whatever they could find to do.

Cooper gave head like he'd been doing it his whole life now, and Noah was thankful everyday, he got to be the one Coop gave it to. The only time he didn't sleep in Cooper's bed, were the nights Cooper worked. It felt wrong for some reason. When Coop was home, it was so they had access to each other. What reason did he have when his friend wasn't there? Noah already worried they teetered along a very steep edge; that he wanted to keep the lines wherever he could, without missing out on Coop.

As they drove down the road, Cooper said, "You never did tell me why you wanted to move so fast."

"And I don't really want to, now."

What man wanted to admit getting cheated on? Especially, someone like Noah, who should have seen it coming.

"Come on, man. This is me you're talking to. Tell me. You said back there you didn't really think about your work , when you packed up and came home. Makes it sound like it was a spur of the moment thing."

Noah signed, knowing Cooper wouldn't give up on this. It wasn't the way he was built. "I was dating this guy—David. He's still in the military and was closeted."

"Serious?" Coop asked.

Noah paused for a minute, considering the question. "I thought so. It'd been over a year."

"You were in love with him?" Cooper shifted in his seat, his voice holding a surprised edge to it.

"No." That answer came easily. "But I was committed to him. I thought he was committed to me."

Beside him, Cooper mumbled, "Shit."

"Yeah. My reply was a little harsher than that. I could have killed them both when I walked in on them, together. I never saw that as me, ya know? Being the kind of man someone thought they could take advantage of, and get away with."

"All his cheating says, is that David's a bastard, not that there's anything wrong with you. And you didn't let him do anything. You walked away. You're not your dad."

He wasn't surprised that Cooper knew exactly what he thought—how he felt. He never wanted to be that man. The one who let someone walk all over them. "You'd think I'd know the signs though. I saw it enough, Coop. Since David hid his relationships, well I guess, hid ours; that made it easier for him to do what he did. No one knew we were together, and, therefore, I didn't know he was with someone else, either." Noah's hands squeezed the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white.

He'd sworn when he walked away from David, he would never hide who he was again. Not hide who he was with. And what had he gone and done? Found himself in an even worse situation. Noah not only had to keep his relationship a secret, hell, he didn't even know if it was one. He wasn't with a man who was in the closet, but a man who considered himself straight. Who'd always been straight, until they started fucking around.

Noah flinched when Coop's hand squeezed his thigh. The grin on his face said he didn't see where Noah's thoughts went. Didn't see the similarities. "You're better than him. It wasn't anything you did."

Noah appreciated the sentiment , but he was also very done with this conversation. His body hadn't loosened up since Coop started talking, and now Noah was drawing lines between Cooper and David that didn't need to be drawn. They were only fucking around. Cooper didn't even consider himself gay. He needed to remember those things. "I'm hungry. You wanna go grab a burger or something?"

Cooper's smile grew. He could always be distracted by food. "I could eat." He still had his hand on Noah's leg and he had the urge to stop the car, and distract him with something other than food.

Not in public though. No touching because no one can know what's going on.

"Why am I not surprised about that?"

Noah drove to one of the small diners in town. A really local place that everyone who lived here came to. They used to get ice cream here when they were kids. The building looked like it had been painted, the sign still saying, "Blackcreek's."

When they walked into the place, Noah stumbled a little, surprised at the differences. The Formica was gone, replaced with new tables and counters. The floors were redone and the walls had been painted from the old aqua color they used to be.

It was all warm browns, a very masculine feel to it.

"New owners," Coop told him. "They moved here a few years ago and updated the place. The food's a whole hell of a lot better too."

Before Noah could reply, the hostess asked, "Two?"

"Yeah." Noah replied, and followed her and Cooper as she led them toward a both in the back. Cooper sat down first and then Noah across from him.

About halfway through their meal, the warmth of Cooper's leg pressed against Noah's under the table. At first he figured the other man was stretching, shifting, something like that, but it didn't move—the rough hair and Coop's leg rubbing against his own.

Across the table, Noah made eye contact with him, and Cooper gave him a small shrug before looking down to take another bite of his food. It was such a small thing, and crazy fucking thing to like , but he did. It wasn't something David would have done, yet already Coop did. Maybe their friendship made the difference.

Maybe somehow this would turn out okay.

***

Cooper hated the guilt that churned in his gut. He shouldn't put off visiting Uncle Vernon and Aunt Autumn like he did. Watching Vernon now, as he carried a plate of lunch in to Autumn, who sat in her favorite living room chair, he forgot why he did.

The graying man across from him put his hand on Autumn's shoulder. "Is everything okay, dear? Do I need to get you any more of that no-salt seasoning?"

Autumn's legs didn't work as well as they used to. They swelled a lot and filled with fluid. Neither of them were incredibly old , but they hadn't been blessed with the best health either.

"I'm fine, Vernon. Thanks," she replied.

"What about your tea?"

She leaned over and kissed his hand. "I'm fine ."

Cooper respected Vernon for the way he loved Autumn. He'd never loved anyone like that. It wasn't the only reason he had to respect the man. No, he wasn't perfect. He had a bit of a temper and was strong-willed, and not very forgiving, but the man treated his woman better than anyone Cooper knew. He'd been a good cop, and he'd taken Cooper in and raised him as his own. It had always been important to Cooper, that he did the man proud.

Vernon sat on the opposite couch to Cooper. "It's been too long, Cooper. We live in Fenton, not on the moon." There was laugher in Autumn's voice. He loved the woman. She had the kindest heart of anyone he knew.

"I know. I'm sorry, Aunt Autumn. Between work and then fixing up my house, things have been a little crazy." No they haven't been. Not with Noah's help. He's worked just as hard as me. You remember, Noah? My best friend from childhood who I haven't told you moved back? The one you let practically live with us and then never wanted to talk about when he left?

Which made another healthy dose of guilt settle in his gut. It was wrong of Cooper to hide Noah. Hell, they'd spent almost all their time together for three years. But then, Noah hadn't been gay then. Coop hadn't been sucking his cock.

And Vernon and Autumn had both been strange about Noah and his family, after they had left. Who could blame them, though? His aunt had always complained about Noah's parents dragging him around to a different state every few years.

"How's it coming along?" Vernon asked.

"Good. We got a deck built, planted some trees out back. I'm thinking of putting a Jacuzzi in. I want to get the outdoor stuff going, before the weather gets cold. We can work inside the rest of the year."

"Who is this ‘we' you're speaking of?" Vernon shoveled a forkful of potatoes into his mouth.

Fuck . He hadn't even realized he'd said that. "People who help. Friends and guys from the firehouse." Luckily, since they'd moved outside of Blackcreek, the chance of his aunt and uncle finding out he had a roommate were pretty small. Vernon kept up with the police force but he doubted they talked about Cooper very often.

He hated lying. Hated that he felt the need to. Mentioning Noah at all, made him raw. Like he opened a window inside himself and that his family would be able to see everything. That they'd somehow know.

"We're so proud of your, Cooper. Even if you don't come and see us enough." His aunt smiled.

"Wasn't always sure," Vernon added. "You were an emotional thing when you were a kid."

"Vernon." Autumn warned.

"I'm not saying anything the boy doesn't know, dear. He always was a little sensitive to things , and damn did you like trouble." He smiled at Cooper. "A wild thing, you were."

Coop didn't know whether to smile, or be pissed. Was it wrong to be emotional about losing your parents? That he hadn't been able to get over it quickly? That I'm still not over it. But then…he liked the comments about being wild. He'd always been that way. Just wanted to have fun and live life to the fullest. He and Noah did some crazy shit that they'd been much too young to do.

We're doing crazy shit now…

Stuff that he loved.

"But your aunt is right. We're proud of you. You grew into a good man. A damn good fire fighter as well."

Pride pumped the length of Cooper's body. "Thank you. That means a lot to me." It meant everything to him.

They finished eating lunch, talking and visiting. Autumn showed Cooper a new quilt she was making and Vernon talked about fishing, and how bored he was now that he retired. He'd always kept busy. He used to take Cooper, and sometimes Noah on all sorts of camping trips when they were younger. Vernon always said a man belonged outside and he lived his life that way as well. Cooper knew it had to be tough for him, not to be able to do as much and to need to be here with Autumn.

Cooper had been there for a couple hours when Autumn asked, "What time is it? Beverly is supposed to be here this evening."

"I didn't know you were having company. I could have come another day." Cooper told her. Beverly was one of women his aunt sewed with. They'd met since Vernon and Autumn moved to Fenton and were really close.

"It was slightly a spur of the moment thing. She just called yesterday and I didn't want to cancel. She's going through some things with her son and needed to talk."

"Ungrateful bastard her son is, if you ask me. It's wrong what he's doing to his mama," Vernon added, with an angry lash of his tongue.

"Oh, Vernon, stop. It's none of our business. It's their concern. It's easy for us to point fingers from the outside."

"Point fingers? What the hell else is there to understand, Autumn?" Vernon looked at Cooper and shook his head. "The guy comes to dinner at his mama's house with another man. Says it's his boyfriend and she needs to accept it or have nothing to do with him. He damn near gave her a heart attack. Poor woman has been in tears for days. How's she supposed to act when he springs being a faggot on her?"

Ice filled Cooper's veins. His jaw tightened as he fou ght the urge to grind his teeth together. He hated that fucking word. He wanted to tell his uncle to watch his mouth. His instincts exploded inside him, to defend this guy he didn't even know.

Because now I'm like him?

No, because it was the right thing to do.

"You know I don't like that word, Vernon. And like I said, it's their business. I'm just going to be there for Bever ly. She loves her son. She doesn't understand what happened to him…where she went wrong."

Autumn's words were an echo in Cooper's head. Is that what they would think if they found out he was with Noah? That they'd done something wrong in raising him ?

Not that he was really with Noah.

No, I just have him in my bed every night, and love nothing more than when he has his hands or his mouth on me.

"It's not her fault, her son is letting his own family down," Vernon told her. "What kind of man comes to his mama and drops something like that in her lap? He's a grown man. If he was fag, he would have been before now."

The urge to vomit crawled up Coop's throat, questions he asked himself before this thing with Noah started , but had since pushed from his mind, finding their way to the forefront again. He'd always been with women. Loved women. How could he be interested in a man now? It wasn't who he was. This whole thing wasn't Cooper.

But the way he makes me feel… invincible. Incredible. Fucking buoyant.

But could he do it? It was like he'd tried to live in a bubble with Noah the past couple weeks. Could it go any further than that? Hell, Cooper didn't even know how to be gay. Not that that made any sense, but everyone knew he was always with women. If things kept going, how could he ever step out with Noah? People wouldn't get it. He didn't get it, and the thought of letting Vernon down after all he'd done for him, made that ice inside him start to take over again.

"Well , let's just stop worrying about it because it's not our problem." Autumn interrupted his thoughts. "Why are you stressing about it if you don't have to?"

But they would have to stress, worry and deal with it if Cooper kept up with whatever he was doing with Noah.