Chapter 15

" T hree-on-twos!" I shout to my players.

Three play offense against two defense to protect the net. I want them to push harder. "Where's your grit? Take up space!"

They run the drill, and after each shot on goal, a new set of offense and defense jump in to run it.

"New puck, new puck!" I shoot another one out to center ice for the next set of players. "Let's go!"

On the ice, the cameras don't bother me. I'm used to being on camera on the ice. It's a relief from the other night with that shitshow of a date. What even was that? And the way she looked at me when she told me to get back to my table… Shit. Those eyes were empty, like I was nothing to her. Like we were strangers.

If we're to survive these upcoming months, I will have to place some distance between us. She clearly has. This show is her priority; she's young and career focused. I understand that mentality and respect it. When I was younger, that was me too. I can't hinder what she's working toward. We can get along and wrap up this contract.

Jeanine, the assistant coach, who's been covering defense, positions herself next to me. "We have a weak corner. Let's swap out Grattle for Skarbakka."

I nod. "Affirm."

"Out of play! New puck!" I yell, shooting another one across the ice. I need to be as focused on my team as Kendra is on this show. These players didn't fight like hell to get here so I could give them less than one hundred percent of my attention. I run the three-on-two drill over and over until they're getting a little sloppy.

"Go hydrate!"

The speed skating stops, and they turn on the edge of their skates back to the bench. While they take a break and grab water, I collect the pucks. I encourage them to bond with each other as much as possible, which happens best if I'm not around. I've even set mandatory nights they go out together so they can connect off the ice. By game one, they should be thick as thieves. I smile when I hear mostly laughter from the bench. That's a good sign. I let them have a few more minutes while I set up the drill again. Giving them a demo will help them visualize the issue we're trying to correct.

"Okay, everybody back to the net. Skarbakka, you're on D with Breck."

"Let's go, Trainwreck!" one of the girls hollers, and Joey laughs, finding her spot on the ice.

"Here's what's happening." I skate to center ice, then toward them as a demonstration. "Here comes offense, it's coming in hot." I navigate between my players who are standing still. Joey gets into position along with Skarbakka. "Right there! Stop!" I move to the open area, where we're having a problem. "Right here, there is no presence. We have a huge open pocket. Delta, I want you making sure these holes are getting plugged up. You should all be taking up space. Everybody got it?"

"Yes, Coach."

"Great. Run it again."

Their technique improves this time. It's progress.

Kendra's wearing the Rogues jacket the players gave her. The team already likes her, because of course they do. It's impossible not to. Her hair is up, showcasing the thick curls I loved digging my fingers into when I kissed her. She holds up a mittened hand behind the glass and waves. I haven't spoken to her since the restaurant. Her smiles range between big and fake, and pained. I crave the real one, so I skate closer to her.

"How am I doing?" I ask, half-joking.

She gives me a thumbs-up. "Really great."

Cool.

I head back toward my team covering the open pockets like I showed them. "Beauty! Okay, let's move into corner one-on-ones, and then we'll finish with edgework drills." I slap pucks out to the players, and they snatch them up. "Yes, Coach!"

Pretty sure Joey said something about edging; thank God she's not mic'd up today.

I meet Whit in his office after practice to discuss our progress. The more we learn about the players and how they operate, the better we can coach them. Some of the old-school coaches think there's only two methods: hard-ass or buddy-buddy. I disagree. We're a team. I will not rip them down and hope they build themselves up, but I'm also not going to pass out participation ribbons.

I've come to learn that Whit is very hands-on. He's observed every practice from the stands. Something I never saw the Lakes GM do. I wonder if Whit should have had this job, so for now, I will treat him as another coach to learn from. Two heads are better than one and all that.

"So, what are you thinking?" he asks.

"Our defense is good, but we have to get our offense focused on where they lack coverage… Speed could be better too, I'd like to see them dig in more. But they're hungry."

"That's all we need." He nods. "How's Delta doing as captain? Is the rest of the team receiving her well?"

I nod. "Yeah, all good. She's dedicated and focused, but, ya know, not a dick about it.Overall, the players are getting along well from what I can see. I've got them going out together on Friday to Top Shelf. Hope they can strengthen that team bond a little more."

"They don't seem distracted by the camera crew, so that's good."

"Yup."

"What about you?" he asks.

I don't understand the question. "What do you mean?"

"Are you distracted by the camera crew?" His eyes laser-focus on me. Guess my subtlety needs some work when it comes to my producer.

"Not at all."

In the parking lot, Kendra is helping Lance load some of the equipment into a van. I adjust my hockey bag, hoisting it on my shoulder.

"Hey you," I announce.

"Hi." She spins around. "Great work today."

"Do you have a second?" I want to make sure she's okay after the weird interaction we had at the restaurant.

Lance shuts the van doors and gives me a small wave.

"Hey, man," I say, wanting to acknowledge him.

Lance nods and climbs into the driver's seat. He's a quiet guy.

"Is it about the show?" she asks. Why does she look so ashen?

"Kind of."

She nods. "Look, I'm really sorry, but do you mind if it waits until later? I don't mean to brush you off, but I'm absolutely beat. I gotta grab some dinner or something before I collapse." Her hands tremble, then she quickly tucks them into her jacket pockets.

"Mind if I join you?" Might be a good way to talk some of this tension out, but she's definitely got to eat.

"I'm just going to make something at home. I've got some reports to go over, then I'm going to crash." We hold each other's gaze for a moment, and she lowers her voice. "We can't be more than friends."

We've been more than friends since that first night together.

I nod. "Understood. Have a good night, Kendra."

"You too."

Hours later, I lie in bed, flipping through the TV channels. I'm trying to focus on sports highlights, but it's not doing it for me tonight. She didn't look great, so I wonder if she's sick. I open up the messages on my phone and click her name. I should make sure she got home okay. Hopefully she ate something healthy instead of one of those bars.

My fingers hover over the keys when three little dots pop up at the bottom of the screen. She's texting me , and damn if that doesn't make me smile. I stretch out in bed while I wait for her message to come through.

Kendra

I think we need to put some distance between us. The women on the show are really great people. I think it's important you find someone to take on a second date. I'm here because of the show. I appreciate your dinner invite tonight, but it's not a good idea to see each other outside of work, even as friends. I don't want to muddy the waters.

I think of the night we had lain in bed at the hotel. " If things were different …" she'd said. But I never asked if the feeling was mutual. I assumed. Have I been assuming this entire time?

If I wasn't on this show, would we be together?

Kendra

If it's meant to be, it'll happen someday. But that time isn't now. Please understand where I'm coming from. Our careers must take priority.

We aren't done yet.

There's still feelings there. I need her to know that. But her next text has me chucking my phone across the bed.

Kendra

We never started, Sully.

Fuck that.