27. Remi

"A woodpecker can hammer up to sixteen times per second." ~ Tim Rhodes

My eyes werebleary as I poured myself another cup of coffee. This was my fifth cup, and although there were mixed reviews on whether caffeine helped headaches, I'd always found they were the only thing that brought me relief. An army of woodpeckers had taken up residence in my head and were pecking at my brain. I rarely got migraines, but when I did, they were usually brought on by stress or lack of sleep. I was two for two in those categories, so I wasn't surprised that I'd gotten one.

Last night, after coming home from Taylor's, I'd stayed up and researched my mom's condition. I'd poured over articles, websites, and blogs only to come to the conclusion that Taylor's advice was spot on. My mom needed to see specialists for her condition, which I had no clue if she had or not. She needed to rest as much as possible, which was impractical for a server who regularly pulled double shifts. And she needed to limit her stress. Shouldering her diagnosis and care alone had to be stressful.

I sat back down at the table beside the kitchenette with my full mug as my phone rang. It was Misty. She'd called several times over the past week, but I'd been busy and hadn't answered. I knew that my time of avoiding her was over. I needed to talk to her. I waited to feel something—anything about speaking to her again—but was met with total numbness.

My lack of emotions could be because I had a lot on my plate. Or it could be because all I could think about was Taylor. Or it could be because I'd fallen out of love with Misty at some point over the past few years and just hadn't been self-aware enough to realize it. Or it could be D. All of the above.

After pressing the slide button, I lifted the phone to my ear. "Hey."

"Hey!" She sounded surprised that I answered. "I, um, thought you were coming home yesterday. I was just checking to make sure you were okay."

I hadn't even thought to call and let Misty know that I wasn't going to be back. "Sorry, some things came up here."

"Is everything okay?" I could hear the genuine concern in her voice.

"Yeah, it's fine." I hadn't spoken to Ruby or even my mom, about her condition, so I definitely wasn't going to tell my ex what was going on.

"Oh, good. Okay. Um, I was, um, sort of hoping to talk to you…about the house."

Four years ago, we bought a two-bedroom, two-bath bungalow in Pacific Beach on the water that was in foreclosure. Calling it a fixer-upper was generous. At the time of purchase, it had been a shell of a structure. We installed new plumbing, electrical, AC, flooring, drywall, and all new appliances. We'd both put a ton of blood, sweat, and tears into renovating it, not to mention money.

I liked the house, but it had truly been Misty's dream home in her dream neighborhood. She'd grown up inland in San Diego and had always wanted to live on the water. It was her passion project that I'd just contributed to. I assumed that we would sell the house. We'd definitely built equity in it, and I was pretty confident the sale would give us both a nice cushion.

"I had it appraised. It's worth one point seven five."

We paid seven hundred and fifty for it, put twenty percent down, and every month, we'd paid one thousand towards the principal. Even with our remaining mortgage to pay off, we'd still both walk away with a nice payout.

Misty inhaled audibly and then held her breath. It was something she did whenever she was nervous. She'd already told me she was pregnant with another man's child; I couldn't imagine what she could possibly be nervous about telling me now. I remained quiet, giving her time to build up her courage.

"I was wondering if you'd let me buy you out?"

Misty was a model, and although she'd had several high-profile campaigns, as far as I knew, she didn't have hundreds of thousands of dollars sitting around. "Um, I didn't know you had that kind of money."

"I don't. It's my parents'."

Misty hadn't grown up wealthy. Her family was comfortably middle-class. Her mom was a professor at San Diego State, and her dad worked in IT. About ten years ago, her dad sold a patent that made him a millionaire overnight. He was smart and invested his money. She was their only child, and it didn't surprise me that they would offer to help her out.

"They know how much I love this place, and it's a good investment. They want to keep it in the family for…"

Her words trailed off, but I knew what she was going to say. "For the baby."

"I'm so sorry, Remi." Her voice cracked as she apologized.

"Don't be. It's okay, Misty, really."

"You don't hate me?" she asked as she took in a shaky breath.

"I could never hate you." I still loved Misty, I always would. I just wasn't in love with her.

"Thank you," she broke down crying. "Thank you for being…well, you."

"You don't have to thank me. I know I'm not blameless in this, Misty. I know that. You asked me for years to consider going to a station. I just thought… I don't know what I thought. But, I'm sorry, too."

"Thank you," she said again, and I could hear that she was trying to pull herself together. She sniffed as she said, "Well, think about the house?—"

"I don't have to. You can buy me out."

"What? Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure? It's a big decision."

"Yeah. I'm sure." It was the right thing to do. She's spent way more time there than I had, since my job kept me away half the year. She'd grown up in San Diego, and it was her dream home. Having to sell the house would only drag things out. The only reason I would do that would be to punish her, which I had no desire to do.

She exhaled in relief. "Um, okay. Well, my dad already had the contracts drawn up, so I can send them to you with the appraisal. If everything looks good, he said he can transfer the money ASAP so we can both… you know…"

"Move on," I completed again.

"Yeah."

"Sounds good." I started to hang up when I heard her say my name.

"Remi." Her voice was so small, so quiet I nearly didn't hear it.

I lifted the phone back up to my ear. "Yeah?"

"I know that this might be hard for you to believe, but I really do love you, and I am really sorry. Thank you for…everything."

"I know. I'm sorry too, Misty."

The phone call disconnected, and as soon as it did, I felt a weight lift off me. I felt closure. I felt like I was no longer living in limbo, and I knew exactly what to do next, so I made another call. This one was to Jan Jenson, a realtor in Wishing Well. I set up an appointment with her that afternoon. I'd barely said goodbye when my mom walked into the front of the trailer.

"Morning, sleepy head." I grinned.

"Do you have my phone?" she asked, ignoring my greeting as she looked around, searching for her device. "What time is it?"

I'd taken her phone from her room so her alarm wouldn't wake her up. She needed her rest.

"It's 10:00 a.m."

Her eyes widened. "Ten? I have to go. I'm late."

"I spoke to Tami Lynn and Bud. They know you're not coming in today."

Or tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that. I kept those details to myself. Even before I'd spoken to Misty and agreed to let her buy me out, I'd made the executive decision to let The Spoon know my mom would not be coming in for the foreseeable future. I hadn't gone into detail since it wasn't my story to tell, but I told her that she had some health issues she needed to deal with. I had enough in my savings that I knew I could replace her income, even before I found out I'd be receiving the buyout. My mom's days on her feet, serving people, were over.

"You can't do that." She shook her head. "Where's my phone? I need to?—"

"Mom, sit down. Please."

"I don't have time. And why are you still here? Shouldn't you be on a flight back home?"

"I am home. I'm staying in Wishing Well."

"Remington Asher Rhodes, you are going to get on a plane and fly back to California today. You need to make things right with Misty and?—"

"She's pregnant with another man's baby." I figured if I wanted my mom to open up to me, it was only fair that I did the same.

My mom froze, then slowly lowered down in the chair opposite me. "She is?"

"Yes. And I'm actually okay about it, which says a lot about our relationship. I don't want you to think badly of her. I was gone so much and?—"

She held up her hand. "Believe me, I'm the last one who would ever judge someone. As long as you're okay, then that's all that matters to me."

"I am okay. Really. I'm not going back to California. She's buying me out of the house, so if it's okay with you, I was going to stay here for a while."

Her head was shaking back and forth. "That's fine as long as your decision has nothing to do with me. I'm fine. I just got overtired, and I have an iron?—"

I stopped her, placing my hand over hers. "You don't have to tell me what is going on with you. But don't lie to me."

As soon as I said it, I heard my dad's voice. My mom must have, too, because her eyes filled with tears. It was something he always said to me as a kid. He never forced me to tell him the answer to something; his only rule was that I never lied to him.

She nodded as she sniffed and wiped her cheeks. "It's Lupus, and there are some other complications with my heart."

"When did you find out?"

"This summer."

"Is that why you broke up with Randy?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me? Or tell Ruby?"

"I knew you were worried about your sister, and I just… honestly, I don't deserve for either of you to be worried about me. I was…I wasn't there for you after…" More tears fell down her face.

"Mom, we're your kids. We're family. We love you."

"I know, but I don't deserve your love."

"Did you deserve to have your mom die when you were younger than Harper? Or to be raised by an abusive alcoholic? Or to get pregnant at sixteen? Or to lose your husband, the love of your life and father of your child, at twenty-five, leaving you a heartbroken single mom? Or to get pregnant by a married asshole who took advantage of you when you were grieving? You don't deserve a lot of things, Mom, but you do deserve my love, and you have it, unconditionally."

More tears fell as she squeezed my hand back.

"You have to tell Ruby."

"I will, I promise. I just wanted to wait until after the wedding, the mini-moon, and Harper's birthday."

"And then you'll tell her?"

"Yes," she promised.

I stood and hugged her, and she melted against me. I'd spent so long away from home; it was so good to finally be back. The fact that home now included a woman I was in love with who had told her cousin I was the best sex she'd ever had, was just icing on the cake.