Chapter 36

THIRTY-SIX

When Blaire called me this morning, I was so grateful I’d given her my number in case there was ever an emergency when she was with Lexi. The bodyguard did his job, and I’m thankful for him too, but I need to get my girl home where I know she’s safe from the madness.

I glance over at her sitting in the passenger seat, her hands cradling her baby bump, and her vacant eyes staring out the passenger-side window. The corners of her lips are pulled down in a frown, and as I watch her, a small tear streaks silently down her face. She doesn’t brush it away. She doesn’t move at all.

I grip the steering wheel tight in my hands. I slept like shit last night without her while also trying to figure out how to fix this. I have a few ideas, but I don’t know if she’ll be on board with any of them.

The easiest solution would be to pull out the ring that’s been taunting me from my underwear drawer and get down on one knee. But I haven’t been holding on to it for two months just for her to think I’m proposing as a solution to a problem instead of the real reason—that I can’t fucking breathe without her.

“Are you cold at all?”

No response.

“Hungry?”

Nothing.

I switch on the radio to her favorite station, but that doesn’t elicit the smile it usually does. Instead of pushing her, I drive silently all the way home as my brain goes a hundred miles per hour with things I need to do to make sure she’s safe until we get this under control.

I haven’t even had a chance to ask her what happened when she was at school. Blaire told me about the reception they received when they arrived, and I knew Lexi had been in a meeting with her principal, but I don’t know what was said. Based on Lexi’s vacant look, I’m guessing it didn’t go well. She looks like all the fight has been zapped right out of her.

When I pull up to the house, I park and run around to her side, opening her door for her and coaxing her out of the car. My chest aches at the despondent look on her face and the bags under her eyes that match mine. Did she get any sleep last night? When was the last time she ate?

My gaze drops to where she protectively cradles her belly, and I know the only way I’m going to convince her to take care of herself is to remind her that she’s taking care of our little girl too. She loves our baby so much. It might be the only way to get through to her.

She sits heavily on the closest chair to the door, and I squat down in front of her. When she continues to stare at her hands in her lap, I lift her chin, forcing her usually vibrant blue eyes that are now dull and tired to meet mine.

“Precious. You have to eat and then get some rest. If not for yourself, then for our baby. She needs her mama to stay strong right now.” I place my hand on her bump, feeling our little girl give a strong kick. In the darkness of the last twenty-four hours, feeling her sweet kick brings a smile to my face.

I glance up at Lexi, knowing she felt it too, only for my stomach to sink as pain seems to streak across her face. “What’s wrong? Is it the baby?”

She bites her bottom lip and breaks our gaze, shaking her head. I feel like I’ve been doused with cold water. Something just happened, but I’m not sure what.

“Lexi?”

She pushes herself to standing and I rise to help her, but she holds her hand up. “I’ve got it. You’re right. I should rest.”

But she doesn’t head up the stairs for our room. She makes her way to the kitchen. Halfway there, I stop her with a hand on her arm, gripping her gently. She still won’t look at me. “Lexi? If you’re hungry, I’ll make you some food. You can go upstairs and I’ll bring it to you, okay?”

She nods and turns around, once again not saying anything. I watch her walk to the stairs until she disappears. When I get in the kitchen, I stop and place my hands on top of my head. That sick tightening in my gut has only gotten stronger since we got home.

I’m messing up.

I’m not sure how exactly, but the feeling that I just made things worse coats me like I’m covered in heavy molasses.

It might be time to call in reinforcements.