Chapter 35

THIRTY-FIVE

The ticking of a clock is the only sound for a long time. I don’t know why Blaire has it, but it’s starting to annoy the shit out of me.

When I showed up on her doorstep, my cheeks tearstained and a no-doubt vacant look in my eyes, her eyebrows practically hit her hairline, but all she did was open the door and let me in. Once I explained, she went on a rampage for an hour while I sat on her couch, shock hitting me hard as I realized all the ways my life would never be the same.

My students and their families may not have cared about my pregnancy, but I can’t imagine there won’t be a lot of conversations about the information circulating about me now. Blaire took my phone away when it kept dinging with notifications from people who I was friends with on social media posting on my accounts or tagging me. The comments were my worst-case scenario brought to life.

Is this really you? Are you allowed to teach with a criminal history?

Wow, this is insane. They let this woman be a teacher? I wouldn’t want my kid in her class.

I went to high school with her. She was the weird, quiet girl. It’s always the quiet ones you have to watch out for.

More of the same, but it was never-ending.

All my hard work trying to put the past behind me, and it’s gone in the blink of an eye. A record that was never supposed to see the light of day, foster kids who were in homes with me coming out of the woodwork for their fifteen minutes of fame while they tell lies about me.

I can only imagine how much worse it’s gotten since Blaire took my phone away.

“What am I going to do?” I whisper, a sob building in my throat as my eyes burn with tears. All my anger evaporated as soon as I left Ty, and now I’m just left with a desolate emptiness.

Blaire sits next to me and holds my hand. “I don’t know, but you’re not going to do it alone. I’m going to be right by your side at work tomorrow.”

I squeeze her hand because if I try to talk, tears will be the only thing that come out. She tilts her head to try to make eye contact. “I bet Ty would be there too if you asked.”

I nibble my lip because a part of me wants to—the part of me that grew comfortable with the way he took care of me, loved me. But the other part of me—the part who’s known only struggle, betrayal, and pain—is louder and telling me I can’t really rely on anyone but myself. Not even Blaire.

I shake my head and catch her frown in my peripheral vision, but she doesn’t say anything.

“I’m gonna lie down. I’m tired.”

She doesn’t stop me as I make my way to her guest room. She checks up on me at dinner time, but I’m not hungry. I don’t know when exactly I finally fall asleep, my tears soaking the pillow, but when I wake up, the sun is just starting to rise.

Time to get up and see the damage of my life.

It’s worse than I imagined. When Blaire and I pull up at work, I’m suddenly grateful for the bodyguard I found in Blaire’s living room this morning when I came out for breakfast. Ty sent him, and at first I thought it was overkill, but now that I’m seeing the front entrance of my school swarming with press, I’m glad he’s here. My heart races as he parks the car he insisted on driving, and we all stare outat the chaos that’s spread across the walkway and the front lawn of the school.

“Are you sure about this? Maybe you should call out sick,” Blaire suggests, not for the first time.

“I don’t have lesson plans set up,” I say numbly.

“Fuck lesson plans, Lexi. This is insanity. You can’t be expected to teach with this going on right out front.”

She’s probably right, but I can’t just sit at her house all day, and I’m not ready to face Ty again.

Summoning all my strength, I rub my belly, feeling my sweet girl’s strong kicks and grounding myself in the fact that I’ve survived my whole life. I can survive this too. I prepare to open the door and get out of the car when the locks engage. I look over at the bodyguard whose dark gaze is assessing the situation.

“Is there a different entrance you could use?”

Blaire pops her head between the driver’s seat and the passenger seat, pointing to the far right side of the building. “There’s one over by the portable classrooms. It’s used by the cafeteria staff and custodians because it’s close to their supply closet.”

He nods once, and then backs out of the space and follows her directions to the back side of the school.Fortunately, this entrance doesn’t seem to have anyone around, although I notice a few extra cars with people sitting in them. On closer inspection, they have long-lens cameras.

Fantastic.

But it’s better than the mob out front.

“On a count of three, let’s run inside.” Blaire looks at me expectantly.

“I’m thirty-one weeks pregnant and rarely work out. I’m not running anywhere. But I will speed walk with you.”

A smile graces Blaire’s face for the first time since I arrived at her house yesterday. “Speed walking it is.”

We get out of the car, and my bodyguard follows as we hurry toward the door. Car doors open and close, and a warm palm presses on my back. “Walk faster if you can; I’ll stall them,” my bodyguard murmurs, spinning around and telling them to stop. There’s commotion behind us, but I don’t dare turn around to see what it is as Blaire gets to the door and opens it with her school key. We rush inside, and my bodyguard follows us. “Only key access?” he asks us.

We both nod, and he seems to relax slightly. “Alright, lead the way to your classroom.”

We walk down the halls, the three of us silent until we turn the corner and find a crowd outside my classroom door, but this time it’s not the press.It’s my principal and several of the other grade level teachers who have classrooms in this hall. They all look over at us at the same time, but Mrs. O’Dell is the first to step forward, her face in a stern frown.

“Ms. Kemper, my office, please. We have much to discuss.”

I’m thrown back in time to when I was thirteen and the principal called me into her office, accusing me of stealing food. Shame coats my body now the same way it did then. I had stolen food, but only because it was the only food I had access to, and I was starving. Kids in the foster system had automatic free breakfast and lunches at school, but I wasn’t getting dinner at home, and the school lunches weren’t enough. I’d been hungry for days before I finally caved and stole the muffin. I felt so guilty, I cried myself to sleep for two weeks.

We walk in silence to her office, passing other teachers in the hallway whose conversations stop the second they spot me. One guess what they were talking about.

When we enter her immaculate office, she gestures to the chair across from hers before she takes her seat. She places her folded hands on the desktop and arches a brow. “To say I’m disappointed about what’s come to light is an understatement. We pride ourselves on excellence here, Ms. Kemper, and I think it’s safe to say that we need to investigate the claims that have been brought forth.”

Saliva turns to sawdust in my mouth as I stare at her wordlessly.

She continues. “We’ve been getting calls all morning from concerned parents. The district representative and I met this morning, and we’ve agreed the best course of action is to put you on administrative leave for the time being.”

“Administrative leave?” I whisper.

“Without pay,” she adds, her chin lifted with an arrogance she doesn’t deserve. I’ve worked for far better principals than she is, and I’m wishing I was sitting across from one of them right now. They would still treat me like a human being instead of the scum beneath her shoe.

“I—”

She holds up a hand. “You’ll have a chance to state your case at a formal hearing in front of the board, but for now, I have to ask you to leave so there will no longer be any disruptions to the learning environment of our students.”

“I can’t even tell my students what’s going on?”

“No.”

Nothing else. Just no.

It always amazes me when higher-ups in education conveniently forget that we’re working with kids—human beings who deserve to have things explained to them so they understand why their teacher is here one day and gone the next. Talk about disrupting the learning environment. They don’t even know where I am in my lessons. I can only imagine the subs they’ll get to cover my class, if they can even find subs since there’s a shortage. Likely, it’ll be a fellow teacher who doesn’t even teach my subject and just gives the kids a study hall or worksheets. How is that not disruptive to the learning environment?

I get out of my seat since I know nothing I say now will change her mind and walk out into the main office. Flashes of light go off on the other side of the doors as students try to enter the building, and tears of frustration build behind my eyes as I’m faced with reality. Maybe she’s right. My students—any student at this school for that matter—don’t deserve to be hounded by press as they come to school.

I turn around and walk down the hall, back toward the side door, my bodyguard once again at my side although I didn’t notice him join me at first.

“Is Blaire in her classroom?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies, his eyes scanning the hallways as we move.

I’ll text her when we’re in the car. I don’t want to stay in this building any longer than I have to. Another layer is added to my sadness knowing what was once a happy place for me now is not. It’s just another place I’ve lost.

I brush away a stray tear and close my eyes for a second, hoping to push any other tears back. When I open them, I halt in my tracks. Ty is standing in front of me, his face as weary as mine looked in the mirror this morning. There are also deep bags under his eyes, and his hair is a crazy mess. His clothes are wrinkled, but it’s his eyes that have my heart aching.

Love, concern, longing, and fear are all wrapped up together and shining through the eyes that just yesterday morning brought me so much comfort.

“I hope you don’t mind I’m here,” he says, his voice hoarse. “Blaire called me, and I rushed right over.” He steps closer like he can’t keep himself away from me any longer. “I’m so sorry, Lexi. I will fix this. Please come home with me.”

His gaze drops to my stomach, and the relief that fills his eyes has my heart clenching painfully in my chest. Is he really worried about me or is it just the baby?

Does it matter anymore? I can’t stay with Blaire because eventually the press will figure out where I am, and I won’t bring this madness to her house.

“Okay,” I say.

His eyes perk up. “Okay?”

I nod and then walk back toward the side door, which Blaire must’ve told him about since he’s parked next to the car we came in this morning. I get inside and look out the window as we drive away from my school, feeling like I’ve just lost another piece of myself and not knowing if anything will be left of me when all’s said and done.