Chapter 33

THIRTY-THREE

Sunlight shines softly through the windows as I part my eyelids. On a sigh, I sink back into the warmth of Ty’s arms wrapped around me, cocooning me.

I’ve never felt safer than I do in his arms. It’s not a feeling I thought I’d ever get to experience, not after the way I grew up. But I’m growing more addicted to it by the day.

I’m so in love with him it scares me.

He hums against my neck, his arms tightening slightly before he slides his hand down to my stomach. “How are my girls this morning?”

Butterflies swarm in my stomach. “Good,” I murmur. Good is an understatement. Blissful might be closer to the truth.

He nuzzles my neck, his stubble tickling me, and a giggle escapes. He chuckles and then his deep, husky voice whispers in my ear. “I love your laugh. I want to wake up to it every day.”

“You already do.”

He hums again in his throat and then rubs his face against that sensitive spot on my neck that’s always so ticklish. I burst into a fit of giggles that has him laughing until both our phones ping with an alert. I reach over to the nightstand and pick mine up, seeing the notification for a new email.

I open it and lie back in Ty’s arms, letting him see the paternity results that are likely sitting in his email as well. I knew what they’d say, but there’s relief in knowing he now knows for sure. I still don’t fully believe these results were just for the press. Now that I’ve been in his life for several months, I understand why he needed them. While I wish he would’ve trusted me blindly, he needs to be smart about this, and at least now we have irrefutable proof so no one can question him.

He kisses my head and snuggles me close. “Thanks for doing that, Lexi.”

Before I can say anything back, his phone dings again, and then again. His brows furrow as he rolls over and grabs it off his nightstand. I can’t see his screen from this angle, but it’s clear when he shoots up to a sitting position with a curse that it’s not good.

I sit up. “What is it?”

“Fuck,” he mutters, his thumb scrolling through what looks like an article. He scrolls back to the top, and my heart freezes in my chest when I see my school picture next to a picture of Ty in his Wolves jersey.

He pulls up another article and then another. Each headline worse than the last. His phone rings, but he ignores the call.

I can’t stand not knowing what they say, so I grab my phone and search my name. All the breath in my lungs whooshes out of my body instantly when I see the first headline and click on it.My awful childhood is plastered all over the page. The next article is more of the same. The third calls me a gold digger from the wrong side of the tracks.

For the first time in months, nausea rises up so rapidly, I’m sure I’m going to vomit, but I can’t stop staring at the train wreck in front of me.

How did they get all this information?

And then the next thought hits me. My students are going to see this.

“Is this true?” Ty’s voice cuts through my devastation at having my entire sordid history plastered all over some of the biggest news outlets in the world—things I barely want to remember, let alone have anyone else know.

I glance up at him but can’t read his expression through my own emotional turmoil. Instead, I stare at his phone screen which he holds up to show me. I read the paragraph, nausea swirling until I can’t hold it back. I throw off the covers and dash to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before bile climbs up my throat. There’s nothing in my stomach to expel.

The demons of my past have finally caught up with me. No matter how much good I’ve tried to do with my life, secrets never stay buried.Or maybe they would have if I’d fallen in love with someone else. Someone without a public following. Someone without a fan base that will no doubt tear me to pieces, if they aren’t already.

“Lexi.”

I look up from my position on my knees bent over the toilet.

“You have a record?”

I shake my head. “It was supposed to be expunged when I turned eighteen.”

A storm cloud brews in his eyes, and the saboteur in my head that’s been whispering lies in my ears laughs at me. This moment right here is what I was afraid of. I can practically feel the pull of the carpet as it’s ripped out from under me. Ty isn’t looking at me like the woman he loves.

Maybe it’s loved now. I know better than most how little that word can mean to some men. It’s why I’ve never said it aloud until Ty.

And now I’m thinking that was a mistake. All of this was a mistake.

I push to my feet and brush past him.

“Lexi, we need to talk about this.”

I spin around to face him. “Talk about what? My entire life being splashed all over the media for the entire world to see? Some of my worst mistakes are now out in the open. You think I’m proud that I got banned from a department store at sixteen and sent to juvie for stealing? I never broke a single law after that, but ask me why I broke that one.” Anger fires through my blood because anger feels like a safer emotion than devastation and heartache. Anger is powerful instead of weak.

I need to take some of my power back and remember who I am. I’m not the girl that gets the fairy tale. I’m not the girl who’s lovable. Maybe I got to be her for a minute, but it wasn’t real.

This. This right now is real.

“Ask me,” I demand through clenched teeth, fighting back the tears begging to be set free.

“Why?” he asks, his voice hoarse and some emotion in his eyes I can’t comprehend.

I hold my head high. “Because my foster brother at the time threatened to strangle me to death if I didn’t. Considering he’d already gotten away with burning me with cigarettes several times, it wasn’t a meaningless threat. Want to know where he is now?” I don’t give him time to answer. “In jail for murder. So, while I’m painfully embarrassed that I still can’t step foot in that particular department store, I’d choose my life over that stupid store any day of the week. I did what I had to do to survive. No one was going to look out for me except me. ” I point to my chest, anger nearly suffocating me as my heart feels like it’s being ripped to shreds inside me, piece by piece, while Ty just stands there staring at me.

“I survived,” I say, my voice cracking, and I know I’m close to losing it, but I refuse to lose it here. I wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for the man standing in front of me. I wouldn’t be exposed like this, reliving every nightmare of my youth. I could’ve kept it in the box where it deserved to stay hidden.

“Lexi,” he starts, but I cut him off by putting my hand up. He snaps his lips shut and watches me walk to the closet where I throw on some sweats and a maternity T-shirt. I throw some clothes into a duffle bag and walk out to find him sitting on the edge of our— his —bed, staring at his hands in his lap.

He looks up when he hears me, and his eyes instantly shoot down to the bag in my hand. He’s on his feet in a heartbeat. “Where are you going?”

“Anywhere but here,” I mumble, already heading for the door.

“Lexi, wait a minute. It’s not safe out there. The press is probably swarming the place, and if they aren’t yet, they will be soon.”

The pieces of my heart that were still intact begin to crack. He’s not objecting to me leaving, just my safety. Another thought—insecurity—slams into me. Is his worry about me , or about the baby? Was I right at the beginning thinking he was only in this because I was pregnant?

I close my eyes against the pain. My emotions are a mess, and I don’t think I can blame it all on pregnancy hormones this time.

“I can’t stay here.” My voice is devoid of the emotion ripping my insides to shreds. I spent years learning how to never give anything away, and I hate how easily it comes back to me.“I can’t even bear to look at you right now.”

He sucks in a sharp breath, and I can almost hear the pain my words inflict, but I’m hurting too much to take on his hurt too.

“Lexi, I’ll fix this.”

Of what little he’s said this morning, that one sentence might hurt most of all.

I turn around to face him, and I must not be hiding my true devastation as well as I thought because pain fills his eyes. “You can’t. The damage is done, Ty. There is no fixing this.”

My tears are so close to the surface, my nose is starting to run. I need to get out of here where I can fall apart in peace, and I know he won’t let me go if he thinks the baby won’t be safe—I refuse to believe any of his feelings for me anymore. “I’ll go to Blaire’s. I’ll be safe there.”

He takes a step closer, but halts when I throw a sharp look his way. “Lexi, please,” he pleads. For a moment, I wish he could fix it. I wish we could have the happily ever after that he made me believe was possible.

I wish I was anyone else.

But I’m not. I can’t change my past, but I know for sure I don’t need to be with someone who’s a public figure. I can go back to being a nobody and hiding—maybe once all the current media attention dies down.

“I’m leaving,” I say, but the words come out choked as a tear escapes.

His hands ball into fists at his sides, and his jaw clenches as if it’s taking all his strength to keep himself still and not come to me. “I wish you wouldn’t. Please, Lexi. I will fix this.”

Another tear falls. My time is up. The anger that made me feel strong is sweeping out of my body like it’s being washed out to sea, and if I’m going to fall apart, it’s not going to be here.

I don’t say anything—I can’t—as I spin around and walk out.