Elliot

Peering up at the sky, I shielded my gaze and tried to catch sight of even a wisp of white. There wasn't, of course, which meant I would only get the slightest hint of shade if I crawled under a cactus. I'd tried that once before, and the results had been…well, I wasn't going to try that again anytime soon.

I turned on my horse to eye Reno, whose head was down, as he watched the ground in front of us. "You ever had to have a grown man pick cactus spines outta your ass?"

His face pinched in that way I was growing used to. It said, ‘I really do not want to respond to this' while saying, ‘but I absolutely will because I can't help myself.' As much as he tried to act like I drove him absolutely crazy, I think a not-so-small part of him enjoyed it. Maybe he had always enjoyed it deep down, or maybe it had just taken a few doses of hot, sweaty, sexy time with me to unlock it in his brain…or break something in it. I'm sure that would be his theory.

"Does this involve you doing something stupid and potentially dangerous?" he asked with a resigned sigh. "Because I'm not going to pick cactus spines out of your ass. You can ride back and have someone else do it."

"Aww, you wouldn't carefully take them out for me? Care for me?"

"If you're stupid enough to get spines in your ass, there is no caring for you. Unless you want the Old Yeller treatment, I might be able to give you that."

"We're not allowed to have guns."

"Alright, the oldest one in the book…well, a book anyway."

"Huh?"

"Cain and Abel. Your head, a nice hard rock."

"Wow, you really know how to make a guy feel special."

"Hey, at least I'm trying to make it as quick and painless as possible. I've got limited tools."

"It's just cactus spines in my ass!"

"Ahh, and it's a fine ass. One I will miss dearly," he said, smirking.

The only reason he was talking so openly was because we were alone. Every now and then, someone forgot to close a gate properly, a part of the fencing was damaged, or an act of God for all I knew. The result was that something would inevitably get out, usually a sheep or two…or ten. That meant someone had to fetch the animals and bring them back.

They didn't typically go too far from the ranch, usually within a few miles. In this case, we were told to go toward a large outcropping of…well, I didn't know what to call them. They were too big to be rocks or even boulders, not quite soft enough to be hills, but too small to be mountains. Mini mountains? Whatever they were called, the sheep usually liked to journey there in search of shelter from the heat, taking refuge in the small cave system formed by the…mini mountains.

"I guess it speaks to Leon's trust in us that we were sent out here, huh?" I asked, getting away from the topic of my ass and his enjoyment of it. Not that I was worried we'd be overheard. Horses hadn't learned human speech, so I thought we were pretty safe from them telling anyone. The problem was his being so open about liking my ass was a quick way to get me thinking intensely about what he could do to my ass and what I'd like him to do to my ass.

I might be tempted if we weren't out on some sun-burned plain with cacti, the only living things other than us and our two horses. I wasn't that good at resisting temptation, especially when it came in the form of a six-foot-tall redhead with anger issues, a great dick, and even better skill at using it. So it was better to change the topic before I found myself with gritty dirt in uncomfortable places and a sunburn on bits that shouldn't be exposed to direct sunlight…my ass got sore enough as it was.

"It wasn't Leon," he said, reaching down to stroke his horse's neck and murmur something I couldn't make out when she pulled to the right a little.

"Really?" I asked, curious now. "So, Mona then?"

"Wasn't Mona either."

"Are you going to make me guess or can we shave ten minutes off me going through the list of people?"

"One."

"What?"

"It'd be one minute. Because you can't remember that many, you still have to be reminded of the names of people you see every day."

"Alright, well fuck you for being right. And secondly, my question still stands."

He chuckled, a sound I was getting used to and didn't think I'd ever get tired of hearing. Funnily, it was the exact sort of chuckle I should be able to pull off. There was so much mischief in it that it was hard to believe it came from him. Then again, now he'd let go of a lot of his anger when dealing with me, maybe I shouldn't be all that surprised. Without his temper getting in his way, I saw an impishness in him that I suspected most people didn't get to see.

"According to Riley?—"

"Wow, when did you talk to him? Are you friends now?"

"Is that jealousy?"

"No. Fuck you. He's not your type anyway."

"Yeah," he said dryly, glancing over at me. "I have no attraction to fit blonds who are annoyingly perky. Not one bit."

"Ugh, fine. So after you were done sucking his dick, what did he tell you?" I asked because I knew damn well he wasn't sleeping with Riley. I mean, even if we'd been given more leeway to hang out without each other, we still spent a lot of time together. Plus, if anyone else on the ranch was almost perpetually attached to someone else's hip, it was Riley. The guy had been handed what I considered the worst person as a mentor, yet he and Max…worked?

Huh, if it wasn't for the fact that Max's aura screamed, "I am the world's straightest man who has ever been straight in the history of straightness," I might be tempted to wonder if the two had their own ‘understanding.' Riley was cute enough, and once you got past the scowl on Max's face like…ninety percent of the time, he was quite handsome. Actually, he was like a more rugged, sour-faced version of Leon when I thought about it.

"Where did your brain just go?" Reno asked wryly.

"I was…not thinking that Leon and Max are actually kind of handsome when you think about it."

"I mean, you're not wrong. Though Max isn't exactly what I'd call my type."

"What, too much grumpiness in one space?"

"Actually, yes."

"Oh," I said, a little surprised at the candor. "Well…alright then. Anyway, Riley?—"

"Right. He mentioned that Max, at some point, said something to Leon about sending the two of us out on something like this," he said, gesturing toward the plains, eyes darting around rapidly.

Then, I realized he was paying attention to more than just the outcropping of what I had deemed mini mountains. He was also paying attention to the rest of the sunbaked area. Leon had warned us before leaving that we needed to head back immediately if we saw anyone approaching, whether on horseback or in a vehicle, from anywhere other than the ranch's direction.

Drug running had evolved over the years, but they still liked to use plenty of the space Texas had to offer to move their stuff around. Leon had insisted they generally stayed away from the ranch and the nearby town of Rapture, but there were occasional sightings of groups moving through the area. Their policy was to avoid interaction, report it to someone, and mind their business. Considering how some of the dealers had been back where I'd lived, I was more than happy to leave anyone carrying drugs alone.

"Max was the one who said we should do shit like this?" I asked, not trying to hide my surprise. "Like, Max, tall, grumpy, practically your long-lost brother in terms of attitude?"

"First of all, fuck you. Secondly, yes, Max said that."

"And Riley's the one who told you this?"

"Yes."

"After Max told Leon?"

"Why are we repeating a whole-ass conversation we just had?"

I laughed. "Because I'm having a hard time believing Max said anything that might be nice to anyone but Riley."

"Their friendship is pretty strange, isn't it?" he asked with a frown, steering his horse carefully. As we neared the large outcropping, the ground became littered with larger rocks and more treacherous.

"It's Riley," I said with a snort. "I'm pretty sure he could charm just about anyone."

"Didn't work too well with me, did it?"

"Yeah, well, that's because you don't know the right way to express yourself when you're upset. So it all comes out as pissed off. I'm sure if you'd told him about your grandma?—"

"No," he said, bringing his horse to a stop as we reached the edge of the outcropping. "I'm not using that shit as an excuse. He doesn't need to know."

"Yes, because God forbid you should tell probably the most understanding guy on the planet why you decked him for winning a wrestling match," I grumbled as I dismounted. Honey gave me a slight bump with her head, making me laugh and scratch the side of her muzzle. "I know, right? We can't have someone showing compassion or understanding!"

"Stop talking shit to your horse like I'm not standing right here," Reno grumbled, frowning at me. "What would be the point anyway."

"Babe," I said, peering around Honey's neck. "Riley is like, hands down the most understanding guy on earth. If there were anyone that would hear that and understand completely, it would be him."

"Babe?" he asked, wrinkling his nose. "Don't do that."

"Okay," I said, walking away from Honey and Reno's horse, Eclipse. They were definitely from the stock of horses that were the best trained. We didn't need to tie them off to keep them from wandering. They seemed perfectly content to stay in the shade of the mini-mountains and wait for us to come back. Max might be an antisocial dick at times, but I had to admit he knew his horses, and these were good girls. "What about honey?"

"Fuck off."

"Snookums?"

"Elliot."

"Huggly wuggly, cuddly snuggly, boo boo bear with whipped cream and sugar on top?"

"You know, this is the perfect kind of place to kill someone and leave the body to the elements."

"Fair," I told him as we climbed carefully. The mini mountains weren't nearly as treacherous as actual mountains but they could still be dangerous if you weren't careful. "You seem more like a manly nickname person."

"God, don't."

"Stud."

"Jesus."

"Stud muffin!"

"I hate you."

"Nah, I don't…" I began, only to feel my footing give way under me. I wouldn't have fallen far, but I would have probably earned myself a clinic visit and a few lectures on watching where I was going. Thankfully, I managed to fling myself closer to the rock in time for Reno to appear above me, grabbing my loose arm and yanking me to my feet.

"This is what should happen when you talk so much shit, the universe reminding you to shut up," he growled, but I saw the way his eyes darted over me nervously.

"As I was saying," I began, not caring that he glared at me as I wrapped my arms around his middle and drew him closer. "Nah, I don't think you hate me. My hero."

"You…are so cheesy," he said, trying to grumble, but this close, I couldn't miss the slight color in his cheeks. It was funny seeing someone as rough as him turning various shades of red when he was embarrassed, especially when there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

"A little," I admitted, running one hand up and down his back. The humidity had waned since the storms a few weeks ago, so we weren't covered in layers upon layers of sweat. "But when you get saved by the Beast, you get to be a little Disney about it."

"You realize that would make you Belle, right?"

"Hey, I could pull off that yellow ballgown like nobody's business! Do you think we could get Mona to sing for us while we danced?"

"Never mind," he said, and I yelped as he pushed me backward, hard enough that I would have gone over the edge if it wasn't for the fact that he still had a firm grip on my arm, leaving me to dangle. "I'm going to let you get maimed."

Despite being startled to hell and back from having half of my body dangling over a fifteen-foot drop to hard rock, I swallowed my fear. I knew how strong he was, and so long as he had a good grip, there was no way I'd fall. And even if there were an accident, I would have a slightly better chance of landing more gracefully than before.

"You're not going to drop me," I told him confidently.

"I suppose it would look bad if I dragged you back with two broken ankles," he said with a sigh that bordered on regret. "And after they trusted us to be out here by ourselves. Yeah, you're right."

"And that's the only reason?" I asked, still hanging over the drop and not allowing any fear to show. "Not you know, something else maybe?"

"That fine ass we talked about?" he asked with a grin.

"I didn't know you had a list of reasons. Do tell."

"Who said there was a list?"

"Reno," I pleaded gently, finally giving in and hoping he would hear what I wanted out of him. I knew I wasn't exactly the model, uh, boyfriend? Fuck buddy? Friend with benefits? It's not like we were the type of couple to sit down and have a heart-to-heart about what we meant to one another or what we even were.

It wasn't like I needed him to say I was the love of his life, that I completed him, or he never wanted to see me go. None of that cheesy shit because even I would have felt a weird discomfort hearing those things. Not just because this was Reno, and hearing something like that from him would have been just plain weird, but because I wasn't exactly the sentimental type either.

But it would be nice to know that I mattered, that I counted for something…that I was important.

His mouth spasmed, and he drew me back, his eyes darting to our feet. "Alright, fine. I would probably miss you."

"You really know how to make a guy feel special," I said in my normal teasing voice, even as my heart sank. "It's what I always say about you."

It was admittedly stupid of me to expect anything else. As I'd just got done reminding myself, it wasn't like we were…well, anything. Just two guys pushed together so the ranch could try to save Reno from himself. I still didn't quite get the logic behind it, but other than it affecting Reno like they'd been looking for, it wasn't like I should be hoping for anything else.

We were just…two different people, and who knew what our lives had waiting for us in the future? It was pretty stupid on my part to think this was anything more than convenient for us. Reno would eventually have to return to his life. He'd mentioned a couple of times he might stay with his little sister while he got back on his feet. That would be good for him. I was happy he had something like that.

I…didn't have anything like that to look forward to when I left. There was my dad, of course, but that wasn't going to happen. The few times I tried to visit him before I'd got my ass in trouble were some of the most miserable experiences. It was like walking through a mausoleum, where one of the corpses was still up and walking around, capable of life but not living.

But, hey, there was still a chance of something in my future, right? I had done well enough to land in the program even if it first required me to go to prison, so that had to count for something. This place was supposed to be where I could find a way to turn my life around, do something other than all the stupid, crazy shit I had been doing. No more stupid dares or breaking into someone's house in the hopes they weren't home to snag a few things that weren't worth shit, just for the thrills.

So yeah, I hadn't found Mr. Right, but…well, at least he wasn't Mr. Wrong. He had his fair share of issues and a lot on his plate dealing with them. It was stupid of me to push for anything else, especially when I didn't even have the courage to say what I wanted out loud.

"Elliot?" Reno asked, his face pinched in concern. "Look?—"

I waited for him to say whatever was bubbling away in his head, but I wasn't surprised when he grunted and let me go. It was confirmation of what I'd already known. Reno could still be special to me, a marker of a good thing at a time when things were getting better for me. Maybe one day, I would look back on this time of my life and feel a wave of happiness and hope that wherever Reno was, he was doing better than ever.

"I…" Reno began and then stopped, cocking his head. "Do you hear that?"

It took me a moment but finally, I heard it, the soft bleat of sheep. It was close, probably under one of the overhangs of rock, and didn't sound upset, just…confused. I felt for the little guys, with their big eyes and absolutely no brain cells operating behind them, their trusting, if still somewhat stubborn natures.

"Let's go find them," I said with a nod in the direction I'd heard the sound. The sooner we got to the sheep, the sooner we could focus on the already awkward and painful conversation.

One day, it might be something that would make me smile, but for now, I just had to live with it stinging.

Shifting in my bed,I finally cracked open my eyes and frowned at the shaft of moonlight that had taken residence on my face. Since Reno and I had gone on our successful excursion to retrieve the wandering sheep almost a week ago, sleep had been more elusive than usual.

Not that sleep wasn't normally elusive. For as long as I could remember, getting to sleep was one of those struggles that seemed perfectly normal. I'd always puzzled at people who could fall asleep within minutes of lying down. Every time I tried it, my mind insisted on running over everything it could get its grubby little gremlin claws on. Those thoughts didn't have to be about something that bothered me, they could be any number of things, from wondering if sheep dreamed to wondering when it would stop bothering me that Reno and I just…were.

I could already feel I wouldn't get to sleep anytime soon, so I rolled over and hung my legs off the edge of the bed. A faint grogginess hung around my head, which told me I'd managed to drift off at some point without realizing it. Which meant something had woken me up, though I couldn't remember what, it had disappeared along with whatever hazy thoughts and dreams I was having in that drifting state.

Reno was on his side, facing away from me, and covered in a thin sheet. He was stretched out on the bed rather than curled up, which meant his dreams were probably giving him some peace tonight. I hated seeing him curl into a ball, trying to defend himself against things I would never see or understand. At the very least, he allowed me to help him now and again whenever I knew his nightmares were plaguing him, so maybe I could settle for that.

There wasn't much to occupy myself with, but there was the desk between our beds. The journal and pencils they'd let me have after being here a few weeks and proving I wouldn't try to stab people were still in the middle of the desk. Reno liked to read in his downtime, but he generally did that sitting or lying on his bed. Which allowed me to use the desk as I saw fit for the most part. It was just one of those little ways we managed to work together without attention being drawn to it.

I was getting sentimental, which was a surefire way to make sure I was miserable. Rather than stew in my thoughts, I pushed off my bed and sat at the desk. I switched on the small lamp, making sure to angle my body so it blocked the light from Reno while he slept, and then opened the notebook. Drawing, or ‘doodling' as my teachers had called it, was always a way to focus when I needed to sit still and be quiet. Considering how much I'd been forced to do it, I'd eventually got quite good at drawing.

Even now, it was easy to get into the flow of things, opening to the last drawing I'd started. The scratch of the pencil against the paper was soft and still heard over the rustling of a loose roof shingle in the wind. I could have been there for several minutes or just a few, depending on how well I zoned out, before I finally noticed the deep, steady breathing that signaled Reno's peaceful sleep was gone.

I turned, arm seizing in surprise, when I found him sitting on the edge of his bed, peering over my shoulder from a safe distance. "Jesus! How the fuck did you move without me noticing?"

He gave me a small smile that tugged at my heart with its combination of messy hair and the imprint of his pillow on his cheek. "I asked you a question, but you didn't hear me, so I let you do your thing."

"Sorry," I said bashfully. "I, uh, sometimes get a little involved in whatever I'm doing and lose track of the world."

"I've noticed," he said, lifting his shirt to scratch his side. "You do it a lot when you're working and get focused on things. You do it during sex too."

"Well, if something interests me, it's hard to pull me away from it," I said, letting my eyes flick over him before returning to the notebook. It wasn't that I couldn't focus on things; it was just that I had a hard time choosing what was going to grab my attention. "The meds help a lot, actually. But I guess I'm always going to have that chipmunk brain."

He snorted softly. "Yeah, well, the thing that drove me crazy about you is also the same thing that I've grown to like about you."

"It still drives you crazy."

"A little. But sometimes I envy you a little too."

"What? Why?"

"You just…you have this enthusiasm for everything. Whether it's sitting down to draw random things that pop in your head, having sex with me, or just wondering why, if cows can have best friends, what other animals can."

I laughed a little. "I'm telling you, cats are capable of it."

"That was one of the ones you ranked the highest…in the almost hour-long discussion you had with yourself."

"You could have participated."

"I don't usually have to. Just grunting is more than enough for you to keep going."

I frowned, feeling an old and familiar worry bubble in my head. "You, uh…I don't bury you under conversation, do I? Or bully you out?"

There was a pause before he appeared at my side, staring at me curiously. "When have I ever been unable to say what I want?"

"I don't know," I said with a shrug. "I've had people keep their mouths shut before. Not say anything. Not until it's too late, and then they tell me to fuck off, and there goes another friend."

He slid himself over to sit on the corner of the desk, still watching me, this time with a smirk. "And since when have I ever been afraid to tell you to shut up?"

That got a smile out of me, and I shrugged. "Alright, you've never been afraid to tell me that."

He snorted, looking down at the page I was doodling on. "Where we found the sheep?"

"I had a dream about it the other night," I told him.

"They look a lot bigger…and wider."

"Yeah. In my dream, they went on for miles and were basically mountains at some points. They stretched on for what felt like forever. The sun kept coming through in different places, between the gaps and stuff like that."

"What were you doing there?"

"I don't know, it's like I couldn't make up my mind. Sometimes, I was looking for something but can't remember what, and other times, I was running from something trying to get me."

"Something?"

"I knew what it was in the dream, but it was gone when I woke up. I just remembered…this, really clearly."

His finger tapped the corner of the page, untouched by my pencil. "It looks a lot like it. You did that with just a regular pencil?"

"Yeah. Probably could do better if I had actual drawing pencils and stuff. Well, after I learned how to use them. Been using normal pencils my whole life."

"That's…pretty impressive, actually."

"I guess."

There was another pause before he leaned closer, forcing me to look up at him. "So, you want to tell me what's got you up?"

"Nothing much," I lied.

"You know you're bad at lying to me, right?"

"I don't lie to you."

"You just did."

I took a deep breath, knowing full well what the truth was, but decided on a different type of truth instead. "I don't want to go into it, okay?"

His eyes searched my face for a moment before giving a nod. "Alright, I won't push you."

I didn't expect him to. He generally respected people's privacy with the same determination that he protected his own. That didn't prevent the low, sinking feeling in my chest that desperately wanted him to try to understand what was going on. To at least acknowledge that whatever was bothering me was important to him.

My thoughts stalled when he bent down, and I raised a brow. "What're you doing?"

"Shut up," he told me, his tone soft and without its typical roughness.

It was strange having him kiss me without any of our usual preamble or teasing that led to our moments of intense passion. Not that I was going to argue, it was nice to have the feel of his lips against mine, the press of his hand on the back of my head. It was comforting, in fact, not needing to have spent the day teasing him or to see the build-up of his arousal before he pounced.

Not that there wasn't heat to the kiss, I could feel it in the way he slid himself closer, his fingers curling against the back of my head. Still, he remained patient and slow as he parted our lips, and I didn't hesitate to allow the slide of his tongue past mine. In a rare moment, he gave a soft sigh. Whether it was of pleasure, relief, or simple comfort, I didn't know, but I felt it deep in my core.

As he moved closer, I instinctively pushed against the floor, pushing my chair away from the desk to give him room. He slid off the desk, his legs straddling my lap as we continued to kiss. It had started slow and careful, but the heat was beginning to rise, not the inferno it usually was, but more than enough that I was steadily growing harder.

I didn't need to pull away to know he was already primed and ready to go. I grabbed the band of his loose sleep pants and pulled them down. I felt his cock slap against my wrist when it bobbed free, and I wrapped my fingers around it, feeling his kiss grow a little firmer.

"Quit," he told me, pulling my hand away.

"What?" I wondered, confused and a little stung by the denial. What was the point of this whole thing if he was just going to turn me down when I was getting a little bliss from my thoughts?

"Spread ‘em," he grunted, pushing his knee between my legs.

Sheer habit made me open my legs as he stepped back, and I watched in surprise as he slid down, kneeling between my legs. It took only a moment, but he had me free from the confines of my pants, my dick sticking straight up between us. I couldn't help but watch him intensely as he wrapped his hand around the base and leaned forward. It wasn't like he hadn't given me head before, but it was definitely the first time he'd put himself in such a blatantly ‘submissive' position.

Any curiosity I had about the sudden change was wiped away as I watched the head of my cock disappear between his lips. Warm, wet heat surrounded me as he slowly slid down past the head and onto the shaft with a low, rumbling noise that could have been a growl or his version of a moan.

Once again, I was struck by how slow and careful he was taking things. Every other time he'd done this, it felt like he simply couldn't go fast enough. Not because he wanted to get the whole thing over with, or at least that's not how I'd taken it. No, I had always been struck by the idea that he needed to have me, take me in his mouth at that moment, to feel me writhe and squirm, to hear me moan as he sucked me greedily.

But this? This was something else entirely. He took his time, slurping me down and letting his muscles squeeze over my sensitive cock before easing back to nurse on the head. I was helpless, needing to watch him as he used his hand to jerk me off while bending down to suck on my balls gently. It wasn't the overwhelming waves of crashing pleasure building up inside. It was the sensation of pleasure building up, carrying me gently but inevitably toward the end.

"Ohhhh," I groaned as he took me into his throat again. I reached down to push my hands into his hair, loving the color of its fire in the moonlight. "Reno, holy shit. That feels?—"

Tender. Gentle. Almost soothing.

It was like the gentle kiss he'd given me, with a touch of earnest massage all thrown into one. I barely noticed the ache in my back from having been hunched over the desk or the slight numbness from sitting in the uncomfortable chair. My attention was locked on the feel of his mouth wrapping around me, his hands gripping my thighs, the softness of his hair from the shower he'd taken earlier.

It had been a few days since we'd touched one another, and I felt that absence. Usually, slow and easy had a way of backfiring on me whenever someone had tried it before. My attention could veer too often when someone wasn't doing something impactful and intense to make the little gremlins in my brain focus.

I wasn't having any trouble locking onto this, though. His sheer focus, his eyes flitting up to my face to watch me closely, and the way he took his time, not in a lazy way, but sensual, were holding my attention all too easily. I could practically feel every shift of his tongue when he took me deep and definitely when he was using it to swirl around and tease my head.

I didn't need to ask. I knew it was the full extent of what he was aiming for. There was no need to warn him I was going to come. Plus, he'd made me get off enough times, I was sure he could read it happening as surely as I could. All I needed to do was sit there and let him have his way with me.

My body shuddered as I forced my hand into my mouth. The building waves of pleasure inside me crashed down, filling me as I finally came. His mouth never pulled from me, taking every last drop as he continued to suck until I squirmed from the intensity of my nerves. I was panting as I watched him slide his lips carefully off my cock, smirking when his tongue darted out to swipe over the sensitive head and make me groan in protest.

He barely had a chance to stand up before I pushed him against the desk. Reno grunted. "Elliot, you don't have to?—"

"I know," I told him. "I want to."

And I did, I very much did in that moment. I knelt before him, trying to give him at least a touch of what he'd given me as I let his cock slide, thick and heavy, over my tongue before settling into my throat. His body relaxed as his hand slid over my forehead and rested atop my head, clearly content not to take control this time.

Which left it up to me, something I was more than happy to contend with as I slid back and forth over him. As I'd assured myself earlier, I could tell he wasn't far off his finish. It wasn't just in the way his legs tensed. It was the sheer hardness of him in my mouth. The guy could get rock hard easily, but I noticed he always seemed to get a bit harder, to the point that I swore it had to be painful whenever he was close to the edge.

I felt him pulse against my tongue, and I knew it was time as he let out a hiss. I pulled back, gripping the base of his cock and aiming it toward my mouth. His eyes locked onto me with the same intensity that made me feel a chill every time. I felt his cock pulse again, harder, and the first jet of his cum splashed over my tongue and down my throat as he gave a low groan. Each pulse came with a slight jerk of his hips as if he had to fight the instinct to bury himself back in my throat.

When he was done, I stood up, carefully tucking his half-hard dick back into his pants while I kissed him. I couldn"t tell if it was myself or him I could taste on my tongue, but I didn't care. For the first time in days, I felt a sense of relief and calm. He probably had no idea what he'd just done, but it was a gift I would accept even if it went unnoticed.

I had a clever little comment to throw at him until he shut me up by asking. "Feeling better?"

I stared for a moment, only then realizing I had severely underestimated him. He had known precisely what he was doing when he'd taken things slow, pleasuring me without even the slightest expectation that I needed to return the favor.

How oblivious did I have to be not to notice that it was out of character for him to take the sensual instead of the sexual route? It would suit him perfectly to do something physical like this to try to bring me peace when he didn't trust his words to do it. How very like him to choose gentle sex, aimed at my pleasure alone, to see if, perhaps in that way, he could comfort me.

It wasn't the confession I had been looking for before, but it was certainly a lot more than I had.

"Yeah," I told him, kissing him gently. "A lot better."

"Good," he said softly, closing his eyes, his shoulders relaxing. "Good."

I couldn't believe it.Riley was gone?

"What the fuck does that mean?" I called out from the crowd assembled in front of the Big House. "He's okay, though, right?"

"Yes," Mona said so quickly I wasn't sure if I believed her or not.

"That's reassuring," Reno muttered beside me, clearly thinking along the same lines I was.

"Okay, but what does that mean? He gets fucking donkey kicked. You say he's recovering in the hospital, and now he's not coming back?" I demanded, earning a sharp look from her.

"Are you going to let me explain? Or would you like to keep demanding answers I plan on giving?" she asked, watching me like the snake she'd caught with her bare hands. "Better yet, you can look at who I called here and who I sent back to their cabins and evaluate that for a moment."

That caught me off guard enough that I did as she said, shoving my anger down. It didn't take me long to peer around and realize everyone standing here, save for Reno and myself, were Tier Ones. I'd thought it was a small crowd when Leon told us we were being ordered up to the Big House for an announcement, but once Mona announced Riley wasn't coming back, it left my mind.

"Err, why are we the only Tier Threes here?" I asked aloud and winced when Reno sighed, clearly signifying that I should have already shut up. "Sorry."

At least Mona was smirking at me this time. "Because the information I'm about to give is…significant. Considering you are the two I consider his friends, I thought it better you hear it from me rather than passed down through the mentors like the rest of the men will have to contend with."

"Must be big," Reno muttered. "Because that sounded a lot like ‘I don't want to try corralling a whole crowd of angry people with this news' to me."

What could she possibly have to tell us that needed it to be carefully diluted? Sure, Riley had taken a brutal kick to the head from one of the more troublesome donkeys on the ranch, but…injuries, even ones that required the hospital, weren't so unheard of that it required this kind of a mess. Plus, he'd been recovering for over a week as far as I knew, which was probably old news since no one told me much of anything, even when I pestered the crap out of them.

Come to think of it, that was probably why Mona wasn't very patient with me today.

"As you all know, Riley came here only a handful of months ago and joined the program as a Tier Three," Mona began, clasping her hands in front of her. "Some of you even commented on the abrupt arrival and the…peculiarity of his circumstances. What you didn't know was that he was here with the express permission of Mr. Isaiah and me for his studies."

"Studies?" Reno asked, snapping his head up. "What the fuck does that mean?"

There were times I remembered Riley scribbling away in a small notebook that he never let anyone else near. It had been a little strange since Riley had always been an open book…or had he? He didn't talk a whole lot about his past, and I still hadn't quite figured out what he'd been doing before he supposedly landed behind bars. Then there was the fact that even compared to me, who Reno griped about constantly, he was too perky, far more bright, warm, and understanding.

"He wasn't a program member at all," I said, trying to fit the pieces together.

"Correct," Mona said, gesturing toward me. "He was a student here to do his dissertation based on his observations of this place."

"Holy shit, he's a shrink?" Reno asked, and I saw real anger flash over his face for the first time in weeks. "Are you shitting me? You turned us into lab rats without telling us?"

"First off, I'll remind you that when you agreed to come into this program, there was extensive paperwork. Our decision to allow something like this to happen without your knowing was covered in that paperwork. Perhaps if you joined our workshops on how to deal with legal issues once you're out of the program, you would have realized you didn't read over the documents you signed…even when expressly told to do so," Mona told him icily.

Reno opened his mouth and then closed it with a glare that told me she'd managed to get him good. Reno wasn't one to let something go if he had any sort of argument, even if that argument was ‘fuck you.' But since he hadn't decided to throw that at Mona, I was guessing he was holding that one back. It seemed even if Reno wasn't intimidated by her, he wasn't exactly going to disrespect her.

Leon crossed his arms over his chest, stepping ahead of Reno and me and looking up at Mona. "I can promise that most people here didn't know what they were signing up for when they went through that paperwork."

"As I said?—"

"And," Leon continued, cutting Mona off and earning a brow that shot up into her hairline, "how many of them have difficulty reading? And how many of them had a lawyer present or someone with the knowledge to understand it? I'm pretty literate, but even I would be hard-pressed to make sense of the legal jargon that goes into paperwork, especially the kind that waives rights."

"We can talk about this another time," Mona said with a sigh.

"You want us to be mentors, leaders," Leon said, narrowing his eyes. "Well, I'm telling you it's important that the guys who come into this program fully understand what they're doing. And before you say it, I understand that most of us would kill for something like this, and we should be and are grateful for the opportunity?—"

"I would never say anything of the sort," Mona said, brow furrowing. "That's not the attitude I want anyone to have here."

"I know," Leon said, tilting his head back. "But if we're supposed to encourage growth and responsibility, the ranch should do the same. You can't have legally binding documents with confusing wordage and expect people to know what they're signing up for. That's not informed consent."

Mona's hands tightened over one another before letting out a sigh. "How about this? I hear you, I understand, and I'm not dismissing the conversation because you're bringing up good points. But that isn't the point of this announcement, so I ask that you shelve it until we deal with this issue first…fair?"

"Sure," Leon said, stepping back and bowing his head. Despite the display of admirable confidence and intensity he'd just shown, I could see the tightness in his shoulders and the way his gaze went distant.

"Good," Mona said, eyes lingering curiously on Leon for a moment before clearing her throat. "The other point I wanted to make is that I need you all to know that Mr. Isaiah and I were extremely careful in vetting Riley before we allowed this to happen. We had to be sure with every tool available to us that he was doing it for the right reasons."

"And was he?" someone else called above the muttering of the crowd.

"Hey, how about you shut the hell up!" I called back, craning my neck to find out who was talking shit.

Reno grabbed me by the shoulder and pushed me, making me stand and rolling his eyes. "You're not going to pick a fight with anyone here, stop."

"And since when are you the voice of reason?" I snapped at him.

The corner of his lips curled. "Well, one of us has to be, otherwise things go to hell. So I guess it's my turn."

"Jesus, what is wrong with you?"

"Shh, listen."

I huffed, glaring at the crowd as Mona continued. "Listen. His aim from the start was to collect information about how the ranch was run and its effects on the participants to make a case about how much more effective this kind of system is than incarceration."

Reno snorted harshly. "Of fucking course, that was his thing."

Mona stopped, turning a sharp gaze on him. "Something to add?"

"Not really," Reno said with a shrug. "Except that sounds just like him. Advocating for the dregs of society? Trying to make things better for them? Yeah, sounds just like the little Boy Scout."

"It…kinda does, actually," I admitted, not objecting because he wasn't sneering when he'd called Riley a Boy Scout. Which he was in a lot of ways, but that didn't mean it needed to be used as an insult. "What about Max? Why isn't he here?"

"This created a small bit of fallout that we had to address, and Max is our spokesperson right now, considering he was Riley's mentor," Mona explained.

"Wow, you're letting him speak to people? In front of a camera?" I asked. "Why are you trying to make the fallout worse?"

The crowd had a good chuckle, and Mona even smiled. "I have quite a lot of faith that Max will comport himself appropriately. He has…plenty of motivation."

That took me back momentarily, but Mona continued before anyone could say anything else. The rest was just assurances I didn't need about Riley's character and intentions. It was followed by making Reno and I swear to keep our mouths shut and informing the mentors that it was their responsibility to filter the information down to their mentees. Considering how annoyed some people looked, I hoped Mona knew what she was doing.

Once we were dismissed, I walked back toward our cabin with Reno. I waited until we were away from the group before asking him. "So, uh, did you catch that?"

"The comment about Max? Yeah," he said, frowning. "Kinda weird that she knows but didn't…I don't know, seem all that pissed about it?"

"Yeah," I began and stopped when I heard footsteps behind us. I turned around to see Leon hot on our heels. "Oh…hey."

His brow shot up as he reached us. "Pissed about what?"

"Pissed at you giving her shit," Reno shot back without hesitation.

"Don't try it, Reno. She was frustrated that I'd chosen that moment, not with what I had to say. And you were specifically saying she'd have a reason to be mad at Max."

Well, I guess with this recent bit of news, she probably wouldn't have been too pissed…maybe. The fact that Max and Riley were…or had been an item for most of Riley's time here was still new to me. Reno and I had only found out when Riley had his accident. We hadn't had a chance to talk about it much, but as I'd thought at the time, only Reno and I had managed to figure out what happened.

Whether Mona was pissed about it was going to come down to how much everyone knew. If Max had known why Riley was really here, at least before they started their relationship, then he wasn't technically doing anything wrong. I mean, he wasn't part of the program anymore. He was a bona fide employee, so sleeping with someone he thought was in the program was fucked up. On the other hand, if he did know and their timing was good, then it would only look fucked up to people who didn't know the truth about Riley.

So, it was pretty easy to see why it was being kept so quiet.

Well, he had us there, but I shrugged. "Max knows how to piss people off. I bet even Max could get on Mona's bad side."

"How is it that I know you're both lying through your teeth to me while also knowing there isn't a snowball's chance in hell of getting either of you to break and tell me the truth?" Leon asked with a weary sigh. "You'll just back each other up."

"Yeah, well, full offense, wasn't the whole point of putting Elliot and me together to create a bond so I start behaving myself?" Reno asked.

"Yes," Leon said slowly, then shook his head. "But I didn't expect it to come back and bite me in the ass."

"Ha!" I barked suddenly, giving Leon a playful shove. "Take it from the expert. Anything and everything can come back and bite you in the ass."

"He would know," Reno said, supporting me in the worst way possible. "He's the king of bad decisions."

"Prince," I said with a sniff. "I'm the king of questionable decisions. I can only hold one throne, or my empire would be too large."

"The kingdom of introspection being a full continent away, clearly," Reno said with a smirk.

Leon glanced between us, smiling a little. "I'm glad to see, backfiring or not, that it's working out for the two of you."

"You're just now bringing it up?" Reno asked suspiciously.

"Well, there's a couple of reasons. I didn't say it before because you've been doing great without interference. This backing each other up is precisely why I didn't push when everyone with a functioning brain knew the two of you had got into a fight months ago," Leon said, raising a brow. "And don't argue. I know full well neither of you are going to own up to it. It's fine. I'm just letting you know I already knew, everyone did, but I let it happen."

"If you knew," Reno began, emphasizing the word too much to show he wasn't agreeing with Leon, "then why didn't Mona do anything? She obviously felt the same way you do."

"Because I told her no," Leon said, shrugging.

"You…told Mona, no?" I asked, unable to hide my shock.

Leon crossed his arms. "I was the one put in charge of how to handle the two of you."

"Handle me," Reno corrected and then shrugged when we both looked at him in surprise. "What? Like, I'm not aware I was the real problem? No one would have said a damn thing about Elliot getting on my shit if I hadn't hit Riley like that. You know it, I know it. There's no point in pretending it was some mutual punishment…though you did put Elliot on the spot."

"Look, I'm not saying how I went about it was necessarily the best way. To you, Elliot, I'll apologize."

"Wait, why me and not him?"

"Because he's right. He was the original big problem. You getting in his face wasn't worth more than talking to you about it. But I was trying to keep him here. And you were…well, you were?—"

"Convenient?" I offered dryly.

He chuckled. "A little. But it was more than just convenience. You were someone I thought would have a good effect on Reno. Even if the two of you…definitely didn't share my opinion on that."

"That's putting it mildly," Reno said, making me chuckle.

"The point is, how I went about it wasn't right, but you two proved me right."

Something popped up in my head, and I stared at him. "Mona wanted him out, didn't she?"

Leon looked at me in surprise before sighing. "She did, I didn't. We…exchanged words before we came to see the two of you."

"When you say words."

"Argued. Better?"

"Yeah, no, I got that. What I meant was, how bad?"

"Bad."

Reno grunted. "Leon, tell me you didn't almost get your ass in trouble trying to keep me here."

Leon's eyes darted to Reno before he took a deep breath. "Look, what happened in that conversation isn't important."

"That's a yes," Reno sighed, rubbing his hands together. "That was really fucking stupid, Leon."

"He appreciates it," I added quickly, making Reno roll his eyes.

"Yes, fine, whatever, that," he said, pushing me away lightly. "I appreciate it. But it was still fucking stupid."

Leon eyed him, raising a brow. "Look. I know you have a few issues."

"A few?" I wondered under my breath, earning a look from Leon and an elbow in my side from Reno. "Hey, ow! What, you're the only one allowed to be a dick?"

"Let the man have his little heart-to-heart moment," Reno muttered to me, and I laughed at the exasperated expression on Leon's face.

"But your self-worth problems don't come into consideration when I'm making decisions for myself," Leon told him. "If you want to say you're not worth it, fine, do that. Do it all you want. But that isn't going to change the fact that I stood by my decision even before we saw you were willing to try to make it here. And it clearly hasn't stopped Elliot from working to get to know you better."

"I think he's trying to tell you that when it comes to whether or not you're the judge of your own worth, maybe you're not," I said with a smirk as Reno glanced between us, almost nervously.

"I'm telling him my decisions are mine alone, and I stand by them. I saw plenty of potential in you, Reno, and you're finally proving me right. Maybe it's time you start paying attention to the good shit you do and not just the bad," Leon said. "And maybe the two of you might just make Tier Two soon."

"Wait, what?" I asked, head snapping to him, mouth falling open. "Seriously?"

"You've been here almost a year," he told me, and then he glanced at Reno. "And it might take a little longer with you, but to say that Mona and Mr. Isaiah are impressed with both of you is an understatement."

"No one's gone up in under a year," I protested.

"And?" Leon asked with a shrug.

And…I didn't know. That should have been the perfect argument, but apparently it wasn't.

"Uh…" I began.

"Did you take your evening meds?" Leon asked me.

"He took them before dinner," Reno said. "Are you trying to find an excuse to go to the clinic? You know, you're both Tier Ones, you can just?—"

"And we're done with this conversation," Leon said abruptly. "Think about what I said…and get back to your cabin."

"I'm just saying," Reno said, giving Leon the kind of smile he generally reserved for me whenever he managed to find something that got on my nerves and fully intended to get his own back. "It's as easy as?—"

"Good night," Leon said, turning away and marching off.

"Use protection!" Reno called after him.

I stared at Leon's retreating back long enough that Reno started walking away, forcing me to dart after him. "What the fresh fuck was that about?"

"Someone has a major crush on our resident poster boy for the clinic," Reno said, as smug as he would have been if he'd gotten one over on me.

"Poster…Reed?" I asked a little loudly and repeated quietly. "Reed?"

"Mhm," Reno said. "I happened to catch the looks the two of them gave each other when I was in there the other day."

"Wait, why were you in there?! I asked. Considering how well we'd got along for months now, it seemed reasonable for us to have time apart. We started with small doses just to see how Leon would react and when he didn't say anything, we expanded the time apart bit by bit.

Not that I was keen on being away from him and despite his protests, he seemed pretty attached, but it was nice to have the option. So, we weren't as stuck to each other's sides but it was still enough that I should have known he needed to go to the clinic.

He looked uncomfortable. "I was…talking to the doc they have in there for…sleep aids."

"Oh," I said, wanting to say something and knowing it was a bad idea. I wasn't exactly the best at finding the right things to say, and he wasn't the type to take words very well. "Well…that's good."

"Yeah, I guess."

"I mean?—"

"Elliot."

"Right. So, Reed and Leon."

"You should have seen them. Lovestruck teenagers. Mooning over one another and really bad at hiding it."

"Do you think they're…" I began and then bounced my brow to infer what I meant.

"To look at each other like they did? Hell no," he said with a laugh. "They so badly want to, though. Trust me. And you saw the way he acted. He's so embarrassed by it he can't stand even to have it brought up."

"Which you intentionally brought up because you knew it would make him go away," I accused. "So he wouldn't talk about self-worth anymore."

Reno stopped, looking intensely at the ground for a few seconds before speaking. "Look…I know…I know you guys have…that you care. About me. I get that. But it's not…it's…well?—"

Reno was as much a person to express himself through words as I was…actually, even less. I tried and generally fucked up royally, whereas he just didn't bother in the first place. Watching him trying so hard and struggling to get the words out, the words that meant a lot to him for him to even try in the first place and to me, clearly showed a lot.

"It's not easy," he finally managed to say, balling his hands up. "I don't do this shit, and I'm trying, but…I don't want to talk about that shit right now, okay? I need to…figure things out."

"Okay, yeah, sure," I said, reaching down to take his balled-up fist in my hand and squeeze it. "This okay?"

He glanced up at me, probably trying to figure out if I meant what I was saying. After a few heartbeats, he relaxed his hand, and I looped mine into his, giving another squeeze. After a moment, he squeezed back and gave a little smile in return.

"Okay," I said, walking with him, hand still in his. "I need you to give me the exact details of the mooning. I want full, romance book levels of detail."

"Jesus," he muttered irritably, but that didn't stop him from starting to do what I said, never taking his hand out of mine.

For anyone else who didn't know Reno, the gesture might have seemed tiny and insignificant. For me, though, it meant the whole world.