Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

ALL OF THE FATIGUE from the competition evaporated the moment Ty was finally alone with Elijah.

They started kissing the second the elevators spit them out on the third floor of the hotel and didn't stop even as they stumbled against the walls and doors in their bumbling flight toward Elijah's hotel room. Elijah nearly dropped his key card when he dug in his pocket for it. Getting the door open was an adventure in and of itself, one Ty witnessed very little of while he focused most of his energy on dragging Elijah's lips back to his every time Elijah pulled away even a little.

The light on the door finally swapped from sneering red to welcoming green. Elijah practically threw the door open, backing in with Ty's shirt fisted in his hand .

Ty smothered a laugh. In public, Elijah was so reserved, timid, even. It was the same in Vail and Salt Lake City. The Elijah the world saw was a retiring introvert who contributed maybe two whole sentences to a conversation. The Elijah Ty saw in private, however, growled with impatience as he yanked Ty toward the bed.

That low, hungry noise simmered in Ty's gut like molten liquid heating his insides. Ty tugged Elijah against him so they were hip-to-hip and Elijah could feel that Ty was just as eager. Elijah immediately threaded his fingers into Ty's curly hair to pull Ty to his mouth. They kissed in a messy tumble, tongues prodding. Elijah's hand tightened in Ty's hair, and Ty moaned from the sweet pressure. The strength Elijah displayed on a climbing wall was tingling through Ty's scalp from that little yank.

Elijah pushed harder, gradually winning the tug of war between their mouths so that Ty was stumbling backward. Ty hit a wall in the hotel room, but Elijah just kept pressing closer, his whole body pushing up against Ty's. Ty threw a leg over Elijah's hips like he cold pull him nearer still and rolled his hips.

Elijah rumbled again, the noise humming through Ty. It shivered downward, trembling into Ty's gut.

Suddenly, Elijah broke away. The breath of space was like a bucket of cold water hitting Ty in the face. He stood with his back propped against the wall, gasping for breath, quaking as he waited for Elijah to make his move .

He did, dropping to his knees. He shuffled close enough to get his hands on Ty's hips, but Elijah seemed in no hurry to free Ty from his clothing. Instead, he shot a look upward, his eyes dark as pitch in the gloom of the hotel room. Ty worried his bottom lip between his teeth, struggling not to whine or move or crumble under the heat of that look. Desire pounded inside him, louder than his heart, a fist squeezing his guts with quivering anticipation until Ty thought he might actually shatter from having to stand here and do nothing but wait.

"I'm glad I came here," Elijah said. "Even with how everything turned out."

Maybe Ty should have said something in response. I'm glad you're here too or don't give up just because of one comp or I want you to follow me everywhere, absolutely everywhere, forever . But he was too scared to release his lip and risk some shamefully pathetic noise sneaking out instead of actual words. He couldn't act like some over-eager, inexperienced fool. It would drive Elijah away. And Ty really didn't want to drive him away, especially at the moment.

Elijah seemed to accept the silence as a sufficient response, and finally dove for Ty's pants. Thankfully, Ty had been especially lazy after the competition, simply throwing on some athletic pants with an elastic waist. They came down easily, though gradually, as Elijah worked with devious patience to get them around Ty's ankles. Why was he going so slowly tonight? Ty was going to lose it before they even started if Elijah went on teasing him like this.

As though reveling in Ty's distress, Elijah's hands made their torturous way back up Ty's thighs, caressing up and up — and stopping just short. Elijah looked right up at Ty, hands on Ty's hips, and said, "Try to hang on a little longer for me tonight."

Ty swallowed. It had become a running joke between them that Ty was always ready to go, a bundle of horny energy eager to respond to Elijah's slightest touch.

"I'll try," he said. "You're just so…"

"Shh," Elijah said. "Focus."

With that quiet command, Elijah finally took Ty in hand, offering him one careful stroke. He watched Ty's face the entire time, but Ty wasn't sure what he saw in it. Ty himself was too busy biting his lip bloody as Elijah's strong, calloused grip slid along him so easily, even without lube. For all Elijah's doubts outside of the bedroom, inside it he was so confident, so steady. He touched Ty like he'd studied a map of his body and knew every path worth walking.

Elijah lowered his head, and Ty lost his death grip on his lower lip. A sigh escaped as Ty tilted his head back and Elijah bobbed his down, following that reliable hand.

It was all lips and heat and tongue after that as Elijah worked his way along Ty with methodical precision, like Ty was a climbing route to study and dissect. It was weird thinking about that in the moment, but Elijah really did go after even this the same way he attacked the wall. Deliberate. Steadfast. Determined. Relentless. Precise. Every flick of his tongue and squeeze of his lips released a new sound from within Ty's chest, a whimper he didn't even know he was capable of until Elijah teased it out of him.

Elijah dragged his lips up achingly slowly, pulling all the way off Ty. Ty braced against the wall behind him and panted, unsteady when Elijah went back to just kneeling there and peering up at him.

"Seriously," Ty said raggedly, "you're going to wreck me if you keep doing that. I need—"

"I know what you need," Elijah said, silky in the darkness.

He rose from his knees, fingertips dancing over Ty's heated skin, like he was brushing his hand across the surface of a pool. The light flickers were nearly as devastating as Elijah's mouth. The cruel deprivation turned each and every touch into a pinprick of fire, like a star blazing brightly in an empty night sky.

Elijah stood up all the way, facing Ty again. He set a finger under Ty's chin.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ready," Elijah said.

Ty might have laughed or scoffed or rolled his eyes. As though he wasn't ready for Elijah basically every second the man was near. But Elijah leaned in to kiss him, smothering any reaction that wasn't a groan .

The moment Elijah pulled away, he turned Ty around. Ty pressed his hands against the wall he now faced. He had no idea what Elijah was planning, but that didn't douse his enthusiasm for it at all.

A long beat of nothingness stretched out. Ty could hardly hear over his heart pounding in his ears and his own breath puffing against the wall. Still, he dared not move, even as the lack of contact strained every overstimulated nerve in his body.

Finally, Elijah's hands returned to Ty's body, cool and slick this time. Elijah rubbed along and between Ty's thighs. Ty tensed, but it was pure excitement that had his whole body on edge. Elijah's hands retreated and cloth rustled. Then, at last, Elijah pressed bare skin up against Ty, his cock hot and heavy against Ty's ass.

Ty squeezed his thighs together without a word, and Elijah fit himself between them. The wall helped Ty push back so Elijah could get as close as possible while sliding between Ty's slicked up thighs. His cock grazed Ty's sack as Elijah thrust, and Ty moaned. So little contact, ultimately, but Elijah had gotten Ty so thoroughly worked over before this point that Ty was gritting his teeth from even that.

It seemed Elijah's cool composure was finally weakening as well. He jerked his hips when Ty uttered that groan of desire, fingers gripping Ty more tightly. Skin slapped rhythmically against skin as Elijah's hips hit Ty's ass. Ty pressed back into it and squeezed his legs together as much as he could, but climbers weren't exactly known for beefy thighs. Still, it got Elijah close enough that every roll of his hips sparked delightful friction.

As Elijah increased his pace, he leaned forward against Ty, nipping and kissing at his shoulder. He was practically draped against Ty when he reached around him and grabbed his cock. Ty hitched into the touch instantly, thighs clenching in a spasm of pleasure.

For some reason, that inspired Ty to put his arms behind his back. He clasped his hands together like they were shackled in place, like he was physically incapable of touching himself. And damn, that was hot. Even the fiction of being entirely at Elijah's mercy sent Ty to a new height he hadn't anticipated.

Elijah rumbled darkly against Ty's back. He had one hand on Ty's cock, but grabbed his wrists with the other and squeezed himself between Ty's thighs with an almost frantic urgency. His grasp was solid, firm. It enhanced the fantasy and left Ty whining and shoving himself into the hand fisting his cock.

Ty strained against Elijah's hold, even though he had no intention of actually breaking free. The need crawled up his body like a beast intent on swallowing him whole. He clenched his thighs around Elijah, babbling as his balls pulled up tight and his body raced for the edge.

Thankfully, Elijah was coordinated enough to handle Ty's frantic bucking. He'd directed this night from the start, and he clearly wasn't going to let it slip out of his grasp now. He managed to thrust between Ty's thighs and pump his cock at the same time, driving them both toward the precipice.

Every point of contact melded into one delicious whole. It overwhelmed Ty's mind, a torrent of stimulation that drowned every thought that wasn't about sprinting toward the finish line. His own cries of delight floated somewhere outside of himself, distant sounds that could have belonged to someone else for how much control Ty had over his body in that moment. Everything in him surrendered, letting go, relenting. No tension, no control, no decisions or thoughts. Just Elijah holding him, fucking him, giving him what he desperately needed. His body curled up, sinking into Elijah's hands, and Ty let go.

Relief barreled into him like an earthquake coming to knock him off his feet. It shook through him until he nearly forgot how to breathe. He realized only vaguely that Elijah had kept going, but even that didn't last long before he was breathlessly soiling Ty's thighs.

Elijah sank heavily against him. They panted for breath. Elijah's hand slipped off Ty's wrists. Ty willed his legs not to give out under him, but sometimes an aftershock of the high would hit him and make it a damn near thing for a moment.

It receded slowly, the storm beating in Ty's ears gradually quieting. Full-body exhaustion swept in to replace it. It wasn't just the sex, though that had left Ty pleasantly light and hollow. He'd also had a hard day of climbing leading up to giving Elijah his whole body in an act of trust and surrender. When his heartbeat finally calmed, his body begged for rest.

He and Elijah hurried through cleaning themselves up and brushing their teeth. They didn't bother putting anything on before they climbed into the hotel bed together. The skin contact provided a soft landing after such a tumultuous and eventful day. Ty curled up against Elijah, resting against his broad chest and letting his lanky limbs go completely limp. Elijah had an arm under Ty. His fingers grazed Ty's skin like he was skimming them through a pond. It felt like he was drawing on Ty's back, some looping, nonsensical pattern mapped out by his fingertips.

It was kind of strange the way they could sleep together, cuddle afterward, go out to dinner, do all of these boyfriend things without ever actually using the word. Ty didn't know what Elijah's life experience was like, but Ty had certainly never cuddled up with a hookup all night. This wasn't even the first time. Back in Salt Lake City, they'd fallen asleep like this every night of Elijah's trip. So what was the hang up? Did Elijah simply not date? Was it something about Ty himself? If everything was working out fine, then what would it matter if they just put a name to what they were obviously already doing?

The words gathered in a lump in Ty's throat. A war raged between blurting them out and stuffing them down so Ty wouldn't ruin the moment. Giving voice to any of this could end it if it scared Elijah off. But saying nothing was eating through Ty like heartburn burning him from the inside out.

He gathered his courage, swallowing so hard that Elijah must have felt Ty's throat moving. He stopped drawing on Ty's back.

"Hey, so," Ty said. His voice felt too loud in the deep, still darkness. He floundered to produce more than that weak opening line.

"What?" Elijah prompted. Was he speaking far too quietly or was that just Ty's imagination?

"I just, uh, I've been meaning to ask you about this," Ty said. "About what we're doing. I mean, it's fun. It's really fun. I'm just … kind of confused."

Every muscle tensed beneath Ty, but there was no turning back now. He pushed up, setting his arms on Elijah's chest to peer down at him.

"I really hope I'm not about to ruin this," Ty said, "but I've just been thinking about this and us and … I guess I don't really know what this is."

"I don't really know either," Elijah said.

An expectant silence fell between them, neither wanting to push the conversation toward the obvious next step. Elijah apparently gathered his courage first.

"What do you want it to be?" he said .

"What do you want?" Ty countered. "It's not just up to me."

"I know," Elijah said, "but I wouldn't want to impose on you or tell you how to live your life."

"You are so ridiculous."

Ty bent down to kiss Elijah before the surprise smoothed out of his face.

"What was that for?" Elijah said when Ty pushed back up.

"It was to make you stop saying crazy things. Do you seriously think you're imposing on me?"

"I just…" Elijah hesitated. "You're a young guy. You have everything ahead of you. I don't want to hold you back."

A laugh burst out before Ty could catch it, but Elijah's serious expression didn't waver.

"I'm serious," Elijah said. "You should be going out and doing everything you want."

"I am, you dope," Ty said.

Elijah didn't push back, but his lips pressed into a hard line. Ty very nearly bent to kiss him again, to soften those lips with physical reassurance, since his words weren't getting through.

"Do you know what else I want?" Ty said.

Elijah's gaze flickered.

"Not that," Ty said. "At least, not right this second. And you accuse me of having too much energy. Jesus, dude. No, I was actually thinking that what I really want … is to, you know, make this official … or whatever."

It was about the clumsiest confession of Ty's life. He hadn't felt this awkward as a teenager, and back then he was still figuring out his sexuality, not that it wasn't obvious to absolutely everyone around him. Somehow, this felt more difficult, and more terrifying, than any of that.

"Official," Elijah said. "Like…"

"Like you being my boyfriend," Ty said. "And me being yours. That's basically what we've been doing this whole time anyway. It wouldn't actually change anything if we just gave a name to what's already happening, right?"

When Elijah hesitated, Ty pushed. "Come on. We're already doing every single thing boyfriends do except calling ourselves that. Are you really that scared of one little word?"

"I didn't think so but…"

"But what?"

Elijah reached up, stroking his finger along Ty's cheek. "Only if you're sure that's really what you want."

"I couldn't possibly be more sure, Elijah. I want to be able to say you're mine. And I want to be yours. I want it to be real."

Elijah swallowed, but a smile tugged at the tight line of his mouth. "I want that, too."

Ty broke into a toothy grin and swept down, unable to keep himself from kissing Elijah all over again. He could have stayed against his lips for the rest of the night if his body weren't utterly trashed. The tense conversation had drained the very last of Ty's dwindling energy.

He sighed his way out of the kiss and settled back down on Elijah's chest.

"You know what else I want?" he said.

Elijah tensed all over again. "Hm? What's that?"

"I want you to compete again."

"Ty…"

"It was just one comp," Ty said. "I know it didn't go the way you were hoping, but you can't just give up after one. Please, just give yourself another shot."

Ty couldn't see Elijah's face from here, but he could feel the tension winding through his body. Elijah lay very still for a moment, the silence stretching to fill the dark room.

"I can't," he said.

"Why?"

"I can't … I can't embarrass myself like that again."

Elijah spoke so quietly that Ty nearly missed it, even lying right atop his chest.

"You didn't embarrass yourself," Ty said.

Elijah's sigh blew through Ty's curls. "I retired when I was still semi-competitive. I'd just started falling off, but it was obvious I'd never get on the podium again. I thought it was better to leave with some dignity intact. I just undid all of that and made a fool of myself, Ty. I can't go back out there again. The best I can do is just fade away and pray people forget about this comp eventually."

"Don't say that." Ty hugged his arms around Elijah's chest, wishing he could squeeze this undue shame right out of him. "No one is this hard on you, you know. No one thinks you failed except yourself."

"I wish that was true," Elijah said, "but it's hard not to think about the people who … who latched on after I came out."

A chill ran through Ty, an all-too-familiar weight settling on his own shoulders. Ty certainly hadn't been the only young climber who'd looked up to Elijah after his public coming-out. It was a pretty big deal for that whole generation of climbers. It was understandable that Elijah felt some sort of responsibility because of that, but that was no reason to give up.

"I don't think they're going to blame you for missing finals once," Ty said.

"And if I miss it again? If I miss it every time? What if I can't live up to what I once was, to what they expect, to what they need me to be? I … I don't think I could face that."

Despite the exhaustion, Ty forced himself all the way up to sitting. Elijah followed him, and they faced each other on the mattress. Ty cupped Elijah's hands in his.

"What about what you need, huh?" Ty said. "You clearly miss it. You're good enough to get into semi-finals — and that was with barely any real training. Please, just train with me a little more and see how you feel. See what you want, rather than thinking about what everyone else might want."

Ty squeezed. "You aren't the only queer athlete in the sport anymore. Not even close. What you do now won't undo the importance of what you did before."

Ty didn't push more. He'd made his pitch. There wasn't much else he could do. How was this conversation harder than the boyfriend talk? If Elijah had had some reservations on that front, he was a brick wall when it came to the question of competitions. Even cradling his hands, Ty got very little feedback from him. Elijah wore that look he had when he disappeared inside his own head. There was nothing Ty could do to follow him; he simply had to wait.

Elijah released a deep exhale. His gaze flickered back up to meet Ty's.

"I'm not going to promise you that I'll compete again," Elijah said, "but I'll promise to train with you more."

Ty couldn't stop a smile from breaking across his face.

"It's only to see how I feel if I actually try to get myself in shape in for this," Elijah added quickly, but Ty was already lunging forward to wrap him in a hug. "Don't get your hopes up," Elijah said, even as he caught Ty in his arms. "It's just an experiment. I'm not making any firm promises. "

"Deal," Ty said.

Elijah sighed. "Great. So, can we be done with the hard conversations tonight? I am going to pass out sitting up if we have to keep talking much longer."

Ty just laughed and pulled Elijah down into the bed with him.