17. Jeffrey

Chapter seventeen

Jeffrey

T urned out Mrs. Sherman did like the new Mattie story I worked into the tour. See, Mattie used to have this policy about husbands frequenting the brothel and the wives they left at home.

"Rest assured, my darlings, the public does not need to know who partakes in my services," I said as Mattie on Sunday night, spotting Mrs. Sherman in the crowd, "but if your wives don't know whose doors you're darkening, the next time you try to cross my threshold, believe me, they will."

I told a tale of one such instance where Mattie discovered a customer was keeping his dalliances from his wife and took it upon herself to deliver his change from the night before, saying he'd overpaid. Mattie and the wife became good friends after that, and the husband visited the brothel frequently—because he no longer had a wife to go home to.

"That's enlightened!" someone called out .

"Indeed, it is!" I took the bait. "For the true sin is lying, and a wife who's been lied to is better off alone."

Mrs. Sherman chuckled.

Karen Sherman, I found out. No joke.

She told me to call her Kay.

It is the next Sunday now. A whole week has passed, but no epiphany for how to save Odai has hit me yet. Every time he is out of my sight, once he's back again, I have to ask whether he has hurt anyone. He hasn't—so far.

I've been trying to only make small, simple wishes, but Odai warned me that even with that, he'll eventually become more aggressive. Spending more time with him in the bedroom doesn't sound so bad at first—and certainly didn't feel bad all week—but the thought of him getting rougher, demanding, scary … I don't want to see that.

It's unfair. It is so unfair because everything else in my life is amazing. The tour is doing so good. Several of the previously closed tunnels are open again, giving us more options and variations for the tours. And thanks to Odai, even the oldest tunnels—like the church's, since they agreed to open theirs too, if you can believe it—were discovered in remarkably good condition and passed every safety inspection.

Business is booming, and it all feels so easy, things we should have thought of ourselves for marketing and partnerships, but it took the right mind with the right skills—and a little magic—to get us here. To get us to the point that after tonight's final tour, Mr. Bevilaqua calls me over to the gift shop checkout counter and pulls out that business card from Grounded Development.

"You sure showed me. You and Odai both," he says, tearing the business card in two.

"You're not selling?" I practically leap on him to give him a hug.

"Hey now." Mr. B chuckles and pats my back. "I'm not saying it'll never happen. This is all still new. But with the way things have been going lately, I sure won't be selling any time soon. Although…" He pats my back again before pulling away. "It may be getting time for this old man to retire. Which means for this place to keep going like it is, it's still going to need a new owner, even if it doesn't become a fast-food chain. Up for discussing that some time, kiddo?"

"Yes!" I don't even pause to think. It's what I've always wanted, what I'd hoped for since I first found escape in Mattie. "Absolutely yes. We can talk about that whenever you're ready. Not that I want you retiring too soon!"

"I was hoping to stick around long enough for you to finish those grad school classes," he chides me. "An MBA in finance would definitely help with running a business. Though you practically run this place already, handling all the books."

"I promise I will finish my degree." And use it for what I actually want to do in life. Mom and Dad will understand. I'm going to have a lot to tell them the next time I call, which I've been avoiding the past few weeks, because I'd hoped to mention my new boyfriend, but only after I knew for sure if I could keep him.

Keeping Madame Mattie's, even if not for sure forever, is awesome, but I don't know if I could stand it if Odai ends up chained beneath my feet again, forever out of reach.

I need to stop thinking about that, but it's hard when he comes into the gift shop after having seen out the last of the customers and locking up. Before I can go to him, Cas comes in from the other direction, finished with the trash sweep.

"Mr. B finally told you the good news, huh?"

Of course she knew. "I hope it means you're not going anywhere either yet. Even if moving forward, you know, when it's the right time, can be a good thing."

Cas very pointedly rolls her eyes, but then grabs my arm and drags me away from Odai and Mr. B overhearing. "About that. From last week. That ."

I fully understand what she means, because it is exactly what I was implying. Cas didn't bring it up all week— again —and I didn't push. I'd hoped she'd been in deep thought about moving things to the next level with SJ and not just ignoring it.

I'm still expecting a headlock and a noogie.

"You… maybe wanna come with me this week sometime to help pick out a ring?"

" Really ?" I say loud enough that Cas hushes me.

"Yes, really," she hisses. "Even though it gives me heart palpitations just thinking about it, I know you're right. It isn't only what you said either. It's also seeing you and Odai together." Her slight nod toward him makes me look too.

Odai is trying his very best to not look at us while chatting with Mr. B, but I can tell he's still watching us in his periphery.

"I realized I was being a hypocrite," Cas continues. "After all, before you met Odai, I was the one telling you to not assume the worst before taking a chance on someone. And I was doing the same thing, not wanting things to move forward in case they ever came to a halt. I guess it's easier being a hypocrite than taking chances for yourself.

"But I've made SJ wait long enough. There is no one else I want to come home to. Ever. Might as well make that official, right?"

I hug her, as tight as I can. "Right."

Cas hugging me back as tight as she can makes me choke and cough a little, but at least when she finishes with a semi-headlock, it doesn't end with a noogie.

Even if my love life is in turmoil, it feels good to have helped someone else's.

Catching sight of my reflection in the full-length mirror after Cas steps away, I finally feel like the real me even dressed up as Mattie. It doesn't feel just shy of being right anymore, because it really is just a costume, a persona I enjoy embodying more than ever, because the real me beneath is someone I understand.

In or out of a skirt .

I touch a hand to the amulet, gleaming gold and purple in my reflection, just a part of my costume now too, and warm to the touch. Like Odai. Like he makes me feel every day. Like I want to make him feel every day. I want him to feel the same freedom and empowerment that he and SJ helped me find.

And it's then, seeing Odai stroll over to me, with everything else in my life practically perfect, right for the first time, that a possible answer hits me. Or rather, questions .

"Odai?"

"Yes, Jeffrey?"

"Let's take a walk."

Odai

We say goodnight to Cas and Mr. Bevilaqua but remain in the underground when they head upstairs. Jeffrey leads me into the tunnels. It is fitting, because I have something to tell him too, something I hope makes it easier for him to put me back where he found me.

"I assume Mr. Bevilaqua told you he wants you to take over Madame Mattie's?" I ask .

"You knew too?"

"He was very excited about it. As am I, and the surprise I have for you."

"Surprise?" Jeffrey turns to me. We've only made it as far as the wall with the hole in it where Cas frightens patrons every midnight tour by grabbing their hand.

My outfit today includes the same harem pants I often wear with very deep pockets. I pull out the certificate I printed. I will print another on better paper to frame, for I am sure Jeffrey will want to frame it. I hand the paper to him, and as he reads what it says, his beautifully painted eyes go wide.

"You… you got Madame Mattie's declared a historical landmark? But I didn't even wish—"

"You wished to save this place," I interrupt. "Everything I have done has helped toward that end, but this ensures it for the long term, for as long as you choose to run these tours, and afterward too if you pass it to someone else."

Jeffrey claps a hand over his mouth, breath shuddering behind his palm and eyes growing damp. When the tears are happy ones, the way they make his eyes sparkle is truly breathtaking. "How? It takes 90 days to even—"

"I was able to convince them to waive the usual timeframe based on your previous submissions."

He clutches the paper to his chest, and then throws himself at me with his free arm twining around my neck. "Thank you. Thank you . I am so glad I found you, Odai. Not only because you've given me so much, but—well yes, what you've given me, but mostly because you gave me you ."

I hug him back, his lovely, smaller frame that I would hold forever if I could. "I am glad too."

"But I don't want you to give me things anymore. I don't want you to have to. I want you to be your own you. I want you to be free."

"Jeffrey, I feel free with you," I remind him. "I have never lied to you. I have never granted one of your wishes and regretted the ask. For you, I would give anything. But I know you do not want anything . You do not want the darker more vicious side of me that one day you will not be able to ignore. To avoid that—"

"I know." Jeffrey pulls from our embrace, eyes still shining. "But even if I can't wish for you to be free, or wish for you to be human again, maybe it doesn't matter if I can wish or not. What I want is for you to have what you want. I want you to find what I did, the truth of the real you, on your terms, even if that means… someday you'd want to leave me."

"I would never—"

" But , if it means you'd want to stay, then stay. Because I have a couple questions for you. I just need to ask the right ones, right?"

"Yes." I stare into Jeffrey's eyes as they clear, and a resolve seems to settle in him .

Still holding the crumpled paper that gives him part of his freedom too, he asks, "Can you be your own master? Do you want to be your own master?"

Did he…?

"Because, if the answer is yes, Odai, that is all I'd ever ask for, all I'd ever wish, and my answer would be yes too."

I feel the tears on my cheeks before I recognize the weight on my chest. Jeffrey gasps, clutching at his now empty neck, because the amulet is around mine. Slowly, its weight begins to lessen to a more benign heft as its glimmer fades.

"Odai?" Jeffrey asks with a hopeful lurch, reaching for the amulet that is little more than a trinket now. "Was I right? Was that really it? Are you—"

"Yes," I say, grasping his hands and causing the paper to finally drop. "Can I and do I want to be my own master were the right questions and allowing me to be is the answer." I swoop forward, gathering Jeffrey in my arms, only this time, I kiss him with all the passion only a free man can offer.

Jeffrey whimpers, even though his tongue is being just as exploring and eager as mine, and despite mine no longer becoming forked. "That's really, really it?" he asks again, hot and breathless on my lips. "Because that was a total shot in the dark!"

I laugh. "I don't feel that different honestly, but I know my tethers are broken, because I feel no urge to grant your desires. No compulsion to, only my own desire to make you happy for as long as you'll have me." I kiss him again, deeper, for I have never, not in thousands of years, wanted so desperately to claim someone. To make them mine. To feel as though I could have anything or anyone again.

I show it by sliding my hands beneath the front bustle of Jeffrey's skirt.

He bucks against my hands, and then moans when my fingers slip beneath his bloomers. "U-um… bedroom? Now ?"

"Oh yes," I agree. "It has been too long since I bedded someone as my true self, and I wish to experience that with you again and again."

So, I did.