16. Jeffrey

Chapter sixteen

Jeffrey

I have never run so fast in my life.

In the alley, blowing past the back door to Sage, I reach the door to Curves and find it ajar, with the slash of claw marks through its lock. I fling the door open to go inside, trying to be stealthy, but focusing most on being fast.

I knew. Everything pointed to the dangers. Mattie's entries. Odai's warnings. All long before I read that he intentionally killed people.

And was going to kill for me.

Odai don't! Please!

I am sorry, Jeffrey.

Where is he?! I've never been here before, and it's a maze of narrow halls. I scan door after door, bypassing closed ones, assuming he must be somewhere with an open one, and then—there! Odai is hidden behind shelving, but I can see Mrs. Sherman further inside. Once Odai makes himself known, it'll all be over, either with her dead, or him outed as a monster, and I can't allow either.

I… I…

I wish for you to come back into the hallway right now and let me try talking to Mrs. Sherman first!

Odai freezes, hand starting to raise with his claws glinting. He looks back at me.

Then exits into the hallway. Thank Christ .

"Odai," I hiss, pulling him from Mrs. Sherman's door so she won't hear us. Not that I can be sure someone won't find us back here. "I get it, okay? I get it. I thought blinding that asshole would be the worst of it, and I was wrong, but I don't need you to kill for me. It never needs to come to that."

With claws still out, Odai cups my cheek, holding it gently despite their sharpness. "I have exhausted all opportunities that do not go against her nature. This is the only way."

"No, it isn't. She isn't even much of a threat anymore. You saw to that once you turned St. Mary's to our side."

"But she could still be a threat. She works against your interests. I… have to."

" No ," I choke on how desperate I sound, but I am desperate. I'm still getting everything wrong, even when I finally, finally got some things right. I glance back toward the office door. Since I pulled us away, I can't see Mrs. Sherman, but now I wonder. "Odai, you said you've been researching her, that you found something out. What? Why has she been targeting Madame Mattie's? "

"Her husband left her for a prostitute. She knows I know but pointing it out as her motivation did not sway her."

Oh . Okay, now, I get it. But calling her out on it? With someone like Mrs. Sherman, that could only ever make things worse.

Then something else dawns on me, part of what I read from Mattie's journal today before it got to the scary part.

"Odai." I grip his arms, powerful arms that I only ever want to hold me, not defend me, and certainly never hurt someone else in my name. "I wish for you to let me handle this, okay? I'm going to try something."

"Try what?"

"It's a gamble." I back away toward the office door. "But I'm honestly going to try talking to her. I wish for you to go back to Madame Mattie's and keep working. I'll be back."

Odai nods. He can at least grant this for me. While he turns to head for the exit, I step into the office and rap on the open door.

A gasp comes from inside.

"Who's there?"

"Mrs. Sherman, can we talk for a minute?" I peek around the shelving.

" You ." Her instant bitch-face makes her overly-Botoxed expression look meaner. "What do you want? Hasn't your boyfriend done enough?" She is not outright telling me to go, so I take what I can and approach the desk. I feel her eyes scan me, and her expression twists even meaner. I kind of forgot I was dressed like… myself for once. But this is about her, and I am not going to let her deflect that.

"I don't know exactly how Odai found out about your husband—" I hold up a hand to halt the tirade I can see ready to explode from her "—please. Let me say this. Let me talk for two minutes without you steamrolling me with another pointed ‘young man' thrown in my face."

Her eyes flick over my body again, but she keeps her lips sealed.

"I am seriously sorry for what happened to you. It's awful. Anyone cheating on someone is awful. It doesn't mean something is wrong with the person being cheated on. Believe me, it means something is wrong with the cheater."

Mrs. Sherman huffs, turning her head like she can't look at me anymore. "If there is nothing wrong with me, then there certainly seemed to be less wrong with the twenty-something he left me for."

The Botox, running a workout center, and bleached blond hair suddenly make more sense.

"Tell me, young—" She cuts off, and it springs a little of a smile to my face when she corrects, " Mr. Lysander ." I am also shocked she knows my last name. "I did everything I could to stay young, stay fit, stay beautiful, but one can only do so much against time. I don't like this older me any more than he did. So, tell me, do you have any idea how it feels to be a stranger in your own body and not even know who you are anymore? "

I laugh. It makes Mrs. Sherman's eyes narrow on me again, but today, I kind of have to laugh. "Sorry! It's just that yeah, I do. A lot. I have serious authority on what it is like to not feel right in your own skin. Just look at me."

She does, more scrutinizing than judging, I think, which is… better, right?

"Today, I discovered a version of me somewhere between Mattie and the dorkier male side of me. Turns out I veer toward the female persuasion, just not all the way. Not even halfway. But more than being all ‘young man'.

"Even queerer than you thought, huh? Turns out I'm a demiboy. Still he/him, so ‘young man' isn't wrong, if a little condescending the way you say it, but I'm on the girl side too. Which I hope doesn't mean I'm a fraud to you, trying to weasel in on real women's spaces."

"Please," she sneers, "I'm not one of those cunts." Mrs. Sherman's eyes widen, and I stifle another laugh. She clearly cannot believe she said that. "You do have a different look today, unfair as it is that you look this good in such an outfit."

I laugh again. "Thanks?" That she seems marginally cowed and maybe even a little disarmed gives me hope that I am on the right track.

"It is important for women to have their own spaces," she says. "If you're any form of woman, that includes you. But if you want a membership here, you are not getting a discount."

Even she almost joins me when I laugh this time. "We don't have to be enemies," I say. "I love Madame Mattie's. I love it. I love the history of it and giving those tours. I don't want to lose what it's meant to me and who it's allowed me to be, to become."

It's only now in the somewhat weak office lighting that I realize how red Mrs. Sherman's eyes are. "I don't think you have anything to worry about, Mr. Lysander, no matter what I attempt from here. You got the church to side with you. That basically spelled my doom."

"Maybe, but I'd still prefer you didn't feel the need to attempt anything. It's not our tour that has you so mad."

"It is inappropriate," she refutes, "but my motives may have been more self-serving than only for the community. I still do not enjoy having that sort of history down the street from where I spend most of my time. It is not a pleasant reminder of how my marriage fell apart. No matter how entertaining you may be."

"You think I'm entertaining?"

"You know you are."

Yeah. I am a knockout as Mattie and badass at adlibbing. Which is basically what I'm doing now, going off book and not failing at it, despite being out of costume. I decide now might be an okay time to sit.

Mrs. Sherman still doesn't tell me to go.

"Before today, escaping into being Mattie was as close as I ever got to being the real me, but I have no plans to walk out to the street corner dressed like that and relive all of what Mattie was. I also don't think there is anything wrong with someone who does though. For me, it's just a fun live-out-loud persona."

"Yes, well, it isn't fun when you're the wife left at home." Her voice catches, realer than she usually is with me.

This is where part of today's entry in Mattie's journal comes in. "I really am sorry. But thinking sex work is okay doesn't mean I would ever think cheating is. In fact, I recently discovered a new story about Mattie that you might like. I mean, it's still sordid and full of innuendo, and I am never going to change that about how I lead the midnight tours. Or deny that I make a pretty hot boy in a dress. And a crop-top and thigh-high boots apparently."

She almost smiles. "As I have said, repeatedly, your sexuality and identity have nothing to do with why I targeted Madame Mattie's. Other than how you make a better blond that I do. That hair is natural, isn't it?"

"Yeah." I shrug. "You can still hate me a little if you want. I still kind of hate you. But I don't want to. Honestly, it is exhausting hating anyone. Come to the tour again. If not tonight, then tomorrow. I think I can work this new story I want you to hear into the show. And if you don't like it, I will let you keep your fliers on our windows for a week. Curves fliers, not the ones calling us evil."

This is the part where I really need the gamble to pay off. It banks on Mrs. Sherman being decent deep down. Not everyone is, but I am one of those really foolish people who likes to believe everyone can be if given the chance .

Mrs. Sherman taps her long, manicured nails on her desk.

"Deal," she says.

If I was feeling good during my walk from Fluid Fashion back to Madame Mattie's, I feel ten times better strutting home from Curves.

Until I see Odai and am reminded that I haven't solved everything yet.

I must have missed when Mr. B transitioned from the ten o'clock tour to the eleven, because there are a few people from the previous tour still mulling about, but no sign of Mr. B or the next crowd.

Odai is manning the checkout counter instead of Cas. No one would guess he is a secretly homicidal incubus simply by looking at him. He's handsome, charming, professional. As I'm coming in through the back, I overhear him explaining some of the items under glass that I know I never briefed him on. Why would I need to? He was there. He knew the people who owned those items in the flesh. He is living, breathing history.

And dangerous.

He makes me feel happier than any boyfriend ever has.

And uneasier than any situation I've ever known.

I don't want to lose him.

But I might have to no matter how hard I try to hold on.

Odai's eyes meet mine as he's still talking to the patron. He smiles—so sorrowfully—trapping me there between the office door and the storage room .

The drill Cas is using to build more shelves whirs with the volume of a turbine. Or at least it sounds that way when caught off guard by it. Seeing her in the storage room immediately makes me think of the last time she was in there using that drill.

Which is why it makes zero sense that I storm in behind her and shout over the noise, "Why the hell haven't you proposed to SJ yet?"

" What ?" She spins in place with the terrifying length of her drill pointed at me. Again.

"You heard me!" I stand my ground—with maybe a slight step backward. "She'd ask you if she wasn't scared you'd backtrack like you did before moving in together. What are you waiting for? Do you know how lucky you are to have something that good, something stable, something real? Most people do not get that luxury, believe me, and you're waiting for what ? Put a ring on it already and lock that hot demigirl down!"

It has to be on purpose that Cas turns the drill off just as I yell that last part. She cocks an eyebrow at me, but thankfully lowers the drill. "Did SJ say something to you?"

"Only because I asked. I was going to apologize to you again for bringing the whole moving thing up the other day, which apparently led to a fight between you two, but you know, I'm not sorry. I'm not! Why wouldn't SJ want to marry you? Live with you? Be with you? You're great together. You know that. So, unless you want to lose her someday because you were too afraid to go all in, even if some things sometimes end, and you'd rather have one foot out the door to avoid getting hurt, maybe man up and do something about it. Woman up? Lesbian up ?" I whisper.

Cas snorts.

"I just mean… not everyone gets it easy, and yeah, even when you do, sometimes things still end. Sometimes you can still lose what you have. So don't lose it, okay?" I turn away before Cas can say anything, just a flounder with her mouth half-open like she had a comeback but realized it was bunk.

I'm kind of expecting a headlock and a noogie at some point for all that, as per pseudo-sibling law, but I'll take it if it means Cas really thinks about what she has and what she wants. Call it an extra thank you for what SJ did for me today. So, it better work out!

I'm not sure my story can.

But as I meet up with Odai at the checkout counter, I still really, really want to try.

Oda i

The last of the previous patrons heads out. The current ones are below and will be for some time. Whatever Jeffrey slipped into the storage room to say to Cas is apparently enough to give her pause, for the drilling does not continue right away, but she doesn't leave the room either.

My compulsion to kill Mrs. Sherman has abated, which means Jeffrey somehow succeeded where I could not and neutralized her without violence. It is not that I always want to ensure wishes through violent means, but I eventually do, as the rest of my desires grow. Even my most villainous masters and mistresses soon knew I was too dangerous to keep free.

Jeffrey will lock me away.

He should.

He must.

But at least all I have put into motion will ensure his greatest desires are fulfilled. One aspect of that I am keeping from him, not because I am compelled to for some darker, hidden purpose, but because I want it to be a surprise that he can savor.

"You were victorious with Mrs. Sherman?" I ask, though I know the answer.

"Yeah," Jeffrey confirms. "She won't stand in the way of us anymore. She just needed a kind ear. So, when she comes to the tour again, and she will, be nice to her, okay?"

"As you wish."

"But only for now , right? Eventually, my wishes won't be enough to keep you from doing bad things? "

Whatever smile I might have mustered falls away. "I am sorry, Jeffrey. It is my nature, and as I have told you—"

"I know. I know." He crowds close to me behind the counter, glancing back briefly to be sure Cas is indeed remaining in the storage room. The drill finally starts up again as validation. "Even though Cas had ownership of the amulet for a hot minute, once I had it back, it didn't reset you. You just returned to the level you were at."

"Correct."

"Which sucks , because it could have given us more time." Jeffrey takes a bolstering breath. "There is something I didn't tell you. At The Magic Shop, that first time I went after meeting you, I found something. Mattie's journal."

So that is what he has been keeping under his pillow.

"I've been reading it. Reading about the truth. About you. The reason I knew you were going to kill Mrs. Sherman was because I got to the part in Mattie's entries when she realized she had to get rid of you."

"Ah. Please understand, I do not blame most of my masters for choosing that outcome, including Mattie. How she locked me away was a betrayal, but one I understood. I could no longer satisfy her desires because I could no longer satisfy my own. That will happen with us too. I am sorry, Jeffrey. Truly. I…" I am unsure how to say it.

"Yeah?" Jeffrey prompts me, looking so deeply into my eyes, his look golden, or like copper with the first few flecks of green. "What is it? "

"I have lost many masters and mistresses, but this is the first time I am afraid to lose one."

Jeffrey's chest swells, and his eyes water. He grips the front of my shirt and drags me down into a bruising kiss. Passion stirs in me at any act of desire, but with Jeffrey, it is not only because of my curse. In the past, I would have accepted carnality with anyone. But with him, he is the only one I want.

His kiss is deep, and I meet it with the forked tongue I know he adores.

"We're running out of time," Jeffrey whispers against my lips, "at least if I want to keep anyone else from dying or getting disfigured. But I'm not willing to give you up yet. I finally found me today. I am going to find a way to help you too. I promise. I promise . I… I love you, Odai."

I snap my head upright, taking Jeffrey in and the aftermath of those words. He looks startled from having said them, but then he smiles and simply waits. I have waited so long that I know how punishing waiting can be. "I love you, Jeffrey," I say, "my beautiful one."

We kiss again, and no other act of carnal delights has ever been as blissful.

Jeffrey's cheeks are rosy and lips kiss-bitten when he asks, "I don't suppose that was the way to save you?"

"True love's kiss? I'm afraid not. But believe me, Jeffrey, you make me feel saved." I press my forehead to his, press my hand to the amulet back around his neck, and kiss him again.