24. Rebecca

24

REBECCA

Lily's words rang in my head on a constant loop. She was wrong. She had to be wrong. This was some great, big joke and any minute now, she'd come over and say she didn't mean it. I was on birth control. I couldn't be pregnant.

Except… I could.

Hot bile rose. I swallowed it down with one hand over my mouth and finished my shift with Lily. There was a walk-in clinic on the way home. I'd stop by and put this whole thing to rest. The thought gave me comfort all the way up until I pulled into the parking lot and a woman with a baby on her hip slid out of the car beside me. She smiled and kissed the baby's cheek. The baby was adorable, but having one of my own petrified me.

I took a fortifying breath and followed the woman into the clinic. The receptionist handed us both matching tablets. "Please fill these out and bring them back to me." I bolted to the far side of the room, far away from everyone else, and bent my head over the screen like someone was trying to spy over my shoulder. The whole system was automated, and once I clicked the pregnancy button, a list of questions popped up. When was my last period? Fuck if I knew. I'd never been regular, so missing one here and there never bothered me. I answered as best I could and almost threw the tablet at the poor woman behind the desk. It wasn't her fault, but panic made me unreasonable.

I'd barely made it back to my seat when a gray side door opened and a woman in pink scrubs called my name.

"Me." I shouldered my purse. "That's me."

Her smile brightened. "Follow me." She led me to a narrow hallway and handed me a cup while rattling off instructions that went in one ear and out the other.

I nodded like I understood and escaped into the bathroom. A paper was taped to the wall above a small metal door, the instructions I assumed the woman gave me printed out in bold letters. Thank goodness.

Once I finished my business and put the cup in the metal tray inside the door, I washed my hands and stepped back into the hallway. Another nurse in pink scrubs rolled a machine down the hallway. She slowed. "Miss Roberts?"

"Yes."

Compassion filled her eyes when my voice squeaked. "You'll be in this room here. I'll be in soon." She motioned over her shoulder. "Room 202. Make yourself comfortable."

If they told me to undress, I might bolt. My skin flushed and sweat slid down my spine. "How long will it take?"

"Five minutes." She smiled like she understood my fears and nudged a door open with her hip, backing into the room and pulling the machine in behind her.

My feet were rooted to the floor. Going into the room made it all real. Why had I kept my intentions from Lily? I could use a friend right now.

Taking a deep breath that stretched my lungs, I marched into the room and sank into the most comfortable office chair I'd ever experienced. Soft blue walls with an off-white counter and rows of cabinets took up most of the space. What drew my attention was the patient bed. It was muted gray with the crinkly paper that I always tore when I sat down. My fingers knotted together. My knee bounced up and down, jarring my bag in my lap. I'd forgotten to check the time when I walked in, so I had no idea whether one minute or ten had passed.

The knob turned and the nurse with the cart entered. "All right. Let's get some numbers real quick."

"Do you have the results? I just need the results." I didn't care about my blood pressure or whatever else they wanted to check.

She frowned a bit but tapped her tablet screen. "Yes, the test is finished. If you'll let me get your vitals, we can discuss."

"It's negative, right?" I stood, holding my bag between us like a shield.

Her frown deepened. "Positive."

"You're positive it's negative?" Blood whooshed through my ears and I swayed.

"Maybe you should sit down, and we'll discuss this." Her smile looked strained. "You're pregnant."

Every sliver of air I'd ever drawn in fled in a rush that left me lightheaded. I sank into the chair before I fell and lowered my head toward my knees. "How accurate is the test?"

"We can do a blood test to confirm, but the test has a very high accuracy rate. You left the dates blank for your last period. Would you like me to do an ultrasound to check how far along you are? It's faster than the blood test."

Oh, God. Ultrasounds. Blood tests. Giving birth. I had a for real human growing inside me. "Um. I can't." I stood again. "I have to go." I ran from the room, hitting the parking lot without slowing, and crawling into my car. Safe. I was safe here. What was I supposed to do now? I rubbed a hand over my stomach. A baby. I was going to have a baby.

The last thing David, Cole, and Ethan needed after the revelation about Carrie was another sucker punch, but I could not keep this from them. One of them was the father. Which one?

I drove without thinking or planning my route, needing time and space to think. Who did I tell first? Or did I get them all together and reveal it at once?

Shit. My parents. There would be no hiding this, not all the way through my pregnancy, and I sure couldn't show up with a baby on my hip and no explanation. I drove past the pet store where I'd spent time getting to know Cole. He was the most relaxed of the three, the most likely to take this in stride. I worried about David the most, and his threat to talk to Carrie sent my foot slamming onto the brake while I fished my phone from my bag. I'd saved David's information when he called me about Fitz, and I tapped his name, connecting him to Bluetooth so I could resume driving.

I braced for coldness, maybe even for him to not answer at all. So when he answered on the second ring, my voice failed me.

"Rebecca?" Concern flooded into me at the fatigue I heard through the phone. It saturated the car with a thick, cloying tension.

"I need a favor." I'd made it home but sat in the driveway with my fingers locked on the wheel. I couldn't tell him this over the phone, but I had to start somewhere.

The four of us talked about having a relationship. Telling David without telling the others felt wrong, so I withheld the crucial information and focused on the problem we all knew about.

"I'm listening." He wasn't cold and distant as much as reserved.

Cold air blasted from the vents, and goosebumps broke out across my arms and chest. "Don't talk to Carrie yet."

Silence.

I took a breath, let it out, and took another, holding it while turning down the air and rubbing my hands down my thighs. Talking about a baby was an all or nothing situation. I'd have to sit them all down and tell them at the same time. It was the only fair thing to do.

"Why?" A legitimate question, and one I couldn't answer to its fullest.

I couldn't sit in the car anymore. I switched to my phone and left the car. Fitz barked from the front window and a bit of the fear drained away. "There's something else we need to discuss." I stopped there.

"Like what?" His long exhale felt like a threat. "What else could there possibly be? Is there another guy?"

"No." I shot the denial out and unlocked the door. "Look, I don't want to talk about it on the phone."

"Ah. Another of those conversations." Bitterness coated his words. "Are you going to try and break up with us again? Because that's not happening."

Why did the reassurance make me want to cry? Fitz went nuts when I stepped into the house. I tried to shush him but his constant barking increased.

"Sounds like you're at home."

"Yeah. Fitz is excited to see me." Understatement of the century. I made my way to the couch and sat down, propping my feet on a cushion after kicking off my shoes. Fitz climbed onto my stomach again and buried his nose in my bellybutton. Well, at least I knew why he'd been acting weird today. He must have sensed the baby.

My pulse quickened, and I rested my hand alongside Fitz's head. How long until I felt him or her move? I regretted not getting the ultrasound now that I'd adjusted to the news. Not that it had really sunk in yet, but my mind was starting to catch up to the fact that I was really, truly pregnant.

"When do you want to have this talk?" The sharpness in his tone snapped through me. "Ethan and Cole have gone home already."

"I'm off work tomorrow and don't have any classes." I hated to wait, but after a look at the clock, I muffled a yawn behind my hand and tucked a pillow behind my head. We'd been through enough today. Tomorrow was good enough for this bag of drama to be opened and dumped in our laps. I could live with the information a little longer. Even Lily didn't know that I'd gone to be checked.

Fitz rolled over and stuck all four paws in the air, his head sweeping from side to side over my stomach. What was I going to do about the apartment? One room was good enough for now, but at some point, my baby would need a room of their own.

My baby. Our baby, if any of them were willing to stick around once they found out. Would they demand a paternity test?

David's quiet grunt pushed my eyes open. When had I closed them? Another yawn took hold, this one stretching my jaw until it popped.

"Can you meet us at Cole's house tomorrow morning at ten?" Steps clicked through the phone. "I texted Ethan. He's free then, and so am I. Cole said he's supposed to volunteer at the animal shelter, but not until after lunch."

"I'll be there." I nestled my head into the pillow. "I'm going to sleep now. See you tomorrow."

"Why don't you want me to talk to Carrie yet?"

I couldn't decipher his voice. Concern, or something else?

It took more effort than it should to focus on answering him. "It might be better if we tell them everything at the same time."

Because there was no need to have two serious and potentially family-shattering conversations when we could get it all over at once. Tell them I was having sex with three of my professors, one of whom my stepmom had dated, then reveal that I'd accidentally gotten pregnant by one of them but didn't know which one. Sounded like a great day.

"What do you mean by everything?" A muffled thud echoed in my ear. "Rebecca, what are you keeping from us?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow. I can't tonight. I'm too tired." My eyes sank closed. "Goodnight, David."

"Do you have any idea how badly I want to come over there and demand that you talk to me?"

Only as badly as I wished they would all come over and hold me. "If I thought it would help you, I'd let you in. But please trust me when I say it's better if you're all together."

"Fuck, Rebecca." He made that maddening growling noise, and I imagined him tearing a hand through his hair while he paced across his living room. "Are you in trouble? Are you hurt? Sick? Injured?"

"I'm tired. So, so tired." My head fell sideways into the pillow. I'd have a crick in my neck tomorrow, but right then, I didn't care. "I'm safe, and I'm healthy. I'm sorry I called and worried you. I just wanted to catch you before you talk to Carrie."

"But you'll explain everything tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow. Ten o'clock at Cole's house. I'll tell you everything."

Another growl. "Fine. I'll wait so you can rest. You sound exhausted." His tone shifted, turning careful and almost loving. "Sleep well."

Until tomorrow, the day when I potentially tore my life to shreds and turned theirs upside down.