Chapter 11

Julian

I did the impossible. I exhausted my dick. I ' m sore, like honestly worn out from all the sex Poppy and I have had. For the first time in my life, my dick needs a break. It ' s unlikely to happen because the more Poppy and I have sex, the more I want her again. It ' s not slowing. The chemistry isn ' t fading into something that other relationships turn into.

It just keeps getting better.

I know some of the times we simply fuck because Poppy just needs to forget. So I help her to do so. Maybe that ' s wrong of me? Maybe it's the right thing to do?

Other times, we make love to help her remember, to show her what a man who truly loves and respects his woman should do.

Poppy ' s been having highs and lows since finding out about the cameras. Sometimes, I catch her looking around the room as if she were going to find a hidden device. Poppy comes to me after that, and we have sex until she ' s better. Other times, Poppy is carefree, and you ' d never know she laid awake at night thinking. She ' s made it her mission to label and reorganize all the cabinets. She said she was starting with my kitchen first, then she ' d move on from there. She ordered a bunch of new baskets and containers for the pantry, too. She was really excited about that. If men knew women got excited over baskets for a pantry, our lives would be much easier.

With a twist of the knob, I crack open the bathroom door, releasing tendrils of steam into the room. My gaze sweeps over to the bed, where Poppy sits, her hands tucked beneath her legs. She's dressed and ready for work, completely lost in her thoughts. She ' s having a bad moment again. My first thought is to spread her legs and allow my cock to chase away her fears.

Use words. I tell myself.

"I just need fifteen," I tell her. We're headed to work soon, and I'll be driving us. I don't mind that she took the bus; what bothered me was that she was walking alone to the bus stop. It infuriates me, especially knowing Andrew has been watching her. He could have just taken her.

Stop. Don't go there, not while Poppy is nearby.

"Okay," she says. Her eyes are up, watching me, but they are not looking at my body, which is draped in a towel. They're watching and worrying, as if she thinks I'm going to turn my back and walk out the door. I see the concern furrowing her forehead when she thinks I'm not watching.

I'm always watching.

I shake out my wet hair, then run my hand through it, smoothing it back. Looking ahead in the mirror, I hide my thoughts from Poppy. I want to show her how much I value her, and since we all know men are not the best with words, that leaves it all down to my actions. Getting her pumpkin lattes and pastries every day is a good start, but I have to up my game. I can ' t just chase away her fears with my dick. I want to do more.

I want to keep her in awe of me. I want to surprise her.

I want to save her from her monsters.

I will.

I glance over, her eyes still surveying me. I've had enough. She's got to tell me what's going through her head so I can stop it.

"Why are you looking at me, Pumpkin?"

"Can't I look at my man?" she replies, her tone playful, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

"Hmm, say that again," I tell her. I want her to keep reiterating it so she knows I'm hers.

"My man," she grins.

I drop my towel. Finally, her eyes look down at my body with longing. I grin. I know she's checking out my ass as I walk into the closet and grab my pants and belt. When I come back out, she's got that worried look again.

"Tell me what's bothering you?" I ask, trying to sound gentle and not demanding. I pull up my pants and begin to loop my belt. "Come on, Pumpkin, I know there is a list of things we are dealing with. If we bottle it up, we will explode." I grab a shirt and shove my arms in it, then walk to her.

She stands and begins to fumble with my buttons as she tries to do my shirt up. I love her hands on me, and if I weren't trying to keep this serious, I'd lay her back on my bed and bury myself deep inside of her.

Her finger is on the second-to-last button. "I'm just worried one day you're going to look at me and be scared."

"Scared?" I repeat, feeling like I've just stumbled into an advanced linguistics class where everyone's discussing complex grammar rules, and I'm still trying to figure out basic sentence structure. You know, when a woman asks you if you like something, it's never a simple yes or no. Oh no, that would be too straightforward. They're looking for an entire thesis, complete with an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion, just to explain your opinion. Meanwhile, us guys, we're more like, ‘ Yeah, it's cool, ' and consider the job done.

"Why would looking at you make me scared? Is this when you tell me you sleep with that girl lotion on your face?"

"Girl lotion?" she laughs, the sound filling the room with warmth. "You mean a face mask?"

"Yeah. That's not gonna scare me, Pumpkin. I already know your red flags." I hold up a finger, ticking off the list. "Pumpkin spice aficionado, can't cook but somehow manages to make boxed items edible."

"Edible?" She gasps dramatically, hand over her heart.

I nod.

" What else?" She probes as she does the final button of my shirt.

" Loves touching her label maker more than my cock."

She swats my chest. "Lies."

" I ' m not going to be shocked if I wake up one morning to see you placed a label on the parts of my body that are your favorite." I continue to tease her. " See, only three red flags." I shrug, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm not scared."

Her smile lingers for a moment, but then I see the shadows of doubt creep into her eyes.

"Why would I be scared, Pumpkin?"

"What if you're scared to hurt me? What if we don't last? Our relationship has been so fast. What if you want to break it off, but you're too scared it will hurt my feelings."

Jesus, why do women think like this?

"That's not going to happen. You're my forever." It slips out completely naturally and at ease. "Yeah, I know that's fast to say, too, but it's the truth." I cup her face; her skin is so smooth against my callus palms. "Just to settle you, know that if something is bothering me, I'll say it."

She bites her bottom lip. "What if you get too scared to touch me?"

"I'm touching you now," I declare, closing the distance between us. Leaning in, I press my lips gently against hers. In that moment, everything else fades away. It's just her and me.

Home. She feels like home.

Her lips respond to mine. It's a feeling I never want to let go of, a sensation that anchors me.

As our kiss deepens, my cock wants to take over control. Poppy's not just a lover; she's mine. My safe place, my happy place, my Pumpkin. And as long as I have her, I know I'll always have a place to call home.

"What if you're scared to try new things with me?" she mutters.

I pull back slightly, studying her expression. "You mean in bed?"

She nods.

My cock stirs. What does she want to try?

Focus. Get to the bottom of her fears; we can have sex later.

"We'll talk it over. It's easy." I swipe my thumb back and forth against her cheek. I love the small splash of freckles she has. "It will go like this, 'Do you want to try this? Yes or no.' If it's a no, then we move on. My feelings won't be hurt. As long as you're in my bed, I'm happy."

"You make it sound so simple."

"It is. Training for marathon sex cardio is simple." We both laugh. "But I think you're scared of something else, so just tell me."

She presses her forehead to my chest. "I am," she whispers. "I'm just scared."

I hug her, tucking her further into me. Doesn't she realize I'm her shield?

"If you need to talk to me, I'm here," I begin. "If you want to talk to someone else, then I'll find them. If you don't like the first therapist, I'll find another." I kiss the top of her head. Her shampoo scent fills my nostrils. That same scent lingers on her pillow. It makes a smile tug at my lips. "I'll keep doing what I need to do so your past isn't the main plot in your life, Poppy. Whatever it takes," I assure her.

"Thank you," she whispers, her arms wrapping around my torso. "All I've known is death. People leave me or run from me. My other brother left me. Harper has been my only constant, and I'm worried my secret pushed a wedge between us, too. I'm worried this will all be too much, even for you."

Gently, I tip her chin up so I can look directly into her eyes. "I'm not running, and as for Harper, I think she is just as scared of losing you as you are of her. Give her time to process."

Poppy looks long at me before she says, "I thought it was the woman who had the brains in a relationship, not the man." She jokes.

There's that smile that I love.

"You're supposed to just to grunt and nod when I babble."

I grab her hips. "I'll grunt for you, Pumpkin," I reply, and then I kiss her again; my cock is hard and aching to be inside of her. I never want to stop, even though I know we have to.

"We have to get to work," she smiles over my lips.

"I forgot to tell you," I say with a playful grin, my fingers finding the zipper on her dress, "the boss called and said he was going to be twenty minutes late." With a smooth motion, I start to peel her dress off, the fabric slipping easily from her skin.

As the dress pools at her feet, I can't help but admire the way the morning light dances across her silhouette, casting shadows and highlights that accentuate every curve and contour. She's so sexy, but she still doesn't realize it.

I'll make her see how beautiful she is.

Reaching out, I unclip her bra; her breasts fall free, and her nipples, fuck, I love how hard they are for me. I can't help it as I bend down and suck one into my mouth, swirling my tongue around it as my hands slip down the curve of her hips until I inch them under her lace panties.

All that matters is the softness of her skin beneath my touch, the warmth of her breath against my skin, and the unspoken promise of what's to come.

"Julian," she warns me. My Pumpkin is a stickler for time, but today, I'll show her sometimes it's worth being late. The lust in her eyes is my green light.

" Part of cardio training requires spur-of-the-moment fucks, Pumpkin. Did I forget to tell you that?"

She nods, her eyes widen, and then she licks her glossy lips, and I'm done for. I dream about her lips on me.

It takes me one second to get my belt undone and pants off. I spin her, lifting her hips as I guide her back onto my bed. I pause, wishing I could take a picture of her here, but that won't be necessary because I'll have her in my bed every single day.

Her hands reach up with haste as she hurries to undo the buttons on my shirt, which she had done only moments ago.

I position myself at her entrance; I'm met with her hot, wet core. I close my eyes, loving how her body reacts to mine, and I'm not even inside of her yet. I pull back and then slowly push every inch of myself inside of her. Her eyes widen, her lips part, and her nails dig into my flesh.

"Julian," She moans, "You feel so..." She can't find the words, and I haven't even begun to move yet.

"Tell me, Pumpkin. Tell me how it feels." I purr as I pull out, then slowly enter her again.

Her head lulls to the side, " When you move slow, it ' s… so good, so full. I feel you everywhere." She arches her hips up.

" And how does it feel when I move fast?" I tease her, bucking my hips, pulling in and out in three fast movements. I feel her core squeeze my cock, and I almost lose it.

"I," When she tries to speak again, I slip my hand between us and begin to circle her clit.

"Julian!" She shouts, "Don't stop,"

I add more pressure but keep my pace slow, relishing the feeling of every inch of her body squeezing mine.

"Oh god...I'm going to..."

That's right, Pumpkin, see those stars. Feel the bliss. Know that you'll feel this every night, heck, every day. I'll show you what heaven feels like.

One orgasm isn't enough. I make her come two more times before I allow myself to come with her.

"This is the best way to start the morning," I grin as I roll us over, both of us panting like we ran a marathon. All our worries vanish. It's just her and me, connected and in love. I will do anything and everything to keep it this way.