Chapter 10

Julian

I understand that women need privacy, especially when they enter a bathroom, unlike my brothers, who brag about what happens behind those closed doors. Women don ' t like to brag about piss and shit. I know that.

What I don ' t know is the limit you should allow a woman to be in the bathroom when you know she isn ' t using it for its intended purpose.

A heavy sigh escapes my lips as I glance at the screen of my phone. Two in the morning. I set the phone back on my end table and reach across the mattress where Poppy should be sleeping. It ' s no longer warm. Rolling over, I gaze at the bathroom door, which is closed. Poppy went in there fifteen minutes ago. I woke up as soon as she moved the sheets, but I didn ' t say anything because I figured she just had to pee. There ' s been no sound, not even the toilet lid being opened.

Poppy's hiding, literally. I know she ' s in there, her thoughts spiraling.

I swing my legs out and approach the door. I ' m terrible at talking, or at least I think I am. I need to call a professional, someone she can talk to. I just don ' t want it to sound wrong, like, ‘ Hey baby, you need a shrink. '

When I think about everything that has happened, after years of bottling it up and blaming herself, and now with the recurrence of Andrew, my woman needs to talk about it.

Most women can't stop talking, but Poppy isn ' t most women. That ' s what I love about her. It figures that the thing I love about her is trying to drive a wedge between us.

" Poppy," I say, trying to sound gentle as I knock on the door.

" Yeah?" she responds.

I press my palm against the door. " Are you okay?"

She clears her throat. " Um…"

Okay, I ' m going in. I push open the door, and she is standing in the corner with her legs crossed as she bounces, looking like she has to pee really bad. I look around, half-expecting to be shocked that there's a line in my bathroom. Why else would she be holding her pee? Color me not shocked when I see the toilet empty and, hey, look, I did remember to put the seat down.

" What ' s the matter?" I close the distance, touching her, and as soon as I do, she stops bouncing from foot to foot.

" I need to pee," she whispers.

" Okay…" I reply. Did I forget to clean the toilet or restock the toilet paper? I take another look. Nope, it ' s sparkling. Maybe I can be a neat and respectable guy to live with.

" Pumpkin, what ' s wrong?" I press.

She looks around as if she ' s nervous, and then she pushes up on her toes, trying to whisper in my ear, " What if there are cameras in here? What if he ' s watching?" She plants her feet back down, and I see her eyes water. " What if he ' s been watching you, invading your privacy too?"

Fuck.

" Pumpkin."

" I ' m not crazy," she snaps.

I hold up my hands. " I didn ' t say you were, and I think that ' s a valid concern, but I had my uncle ' s men check my place after they found the cameras in yours."

Poppy's lips part, and all I want to do is kiss her. I feel a stir of desire. Maybe I can just fuck away all her fears.

" You did," she replies.

I nod. " My place is clean, well, minus the mess I make, but I know you ' ve got your label maker and that handbag, which weighs twenty pounds and is filled with cleaning and organizing supplies, to help me make it livable again."

She smiles. Good. Just keep making her smile.

She glances at the toilet again, then back up at the ceiling where the air vent is. " There ' s nothing in here. My place is our safe place, Pumpkin."

Poppy

I splash cold water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes look haunted again. The ghosts have come back. I ' ve been trying to bottle up my anger, shock, pain, and that feeling of violation again. I don ' t want Julian or Harper to see that it affects me so much. I want them to think I ' m strong. So, I keep ignoring the facts. Andrew did what he did. I refuse to let that affect me again.

I keep telling myself not to think about it, but then I see a dark corner, and I wonder if a camera is there. I ' m scared to death to touch my phone in case Andrew is somehow watching me through the camera still.

I ' m scared.

I ' m going to fuck this up. Julian is going to run or get fed up.

I close my eyes and feel the droplets trickling down my face. I let out a sigh and reach for a hand towel to dry off.

How much crazy can a man take?

I set the towel down and leave the bathroom. Julian is sitting on the edge of his bed, shirtless, just in his boxers. Even in the dark room, I can make out the peaks and valleys of his muscles. He ' s my knight in shining armor. I just don ' t want to tarnish his armor with my problems.

His head snaps up, and he opens his arms. I can ' t help but smile. It ' s that or cry.

I step between his legs and allow him to hug me. He gently rests his head against the swell of my breasts, and I place my chin on top of his head. It ' s such a genuine embrace that feels so perfect, like we were made to fit together this way.

" I love you," he says, his warm breath seeping through the fabric of my shirt, causing my nipples to harden.

I needed that. " I love you too." I kiss the top of his head; his short, dark hair is silky across my lips.

" Are you tired?" I hesitantly ask, as I begin to massage his scalp, my fingers weaving through his hair in slow, soothing motions.

He looks up at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes. " No."

I raise my leg, then the other, and straddle him as he remains perched on the edge of his bed. " I want to feel you, Julian. I want you so deep inside of me I can ' t think." I bend down and press my forehead against his. " Please,"

" Fuck, Pumpkin, you keep shocking me," he whispers, and I feel his cock twitch and start to get hard.

"Good or bad surprises?" I ask. Was that too much?

His hands slowly inch up my thighs, spreading heat throughout my body, causing my flesh to ripple and a pent-up moan to escape my lips. His fingertips slip under my pajama shorts. "I'll take you any way I can get. You want me to be in control; I will be. If you want to tie me down and have your way with me, then I'll get the ropes. I just want you, Poppy, and I need to be inside your tight pussy. Fuck, I love your pussy." He says the last part, sounding like a man about ready to chase his drug of choice.

It makes me giggle.

Then, in a flash, he rolls us, my legs still locked around him, as we kiss with a ferocious passion. It ' s like a sickness has taken over both of us, all-consuming. A plague we can ' t stop as we peel off our clothes, hands grasp, tongues clash, and then his hardness is pressing against my wanting sex.

Time slows.

We slow.

Problems fade away. It ' s just us.

Our eyes lock, searching for fears, hoping for desires.

He ' s waiting for me to make a move, to make sure I ' m ok.

" Please," I moan, edging my hips up.

Then he ' s inside of me, thrusting up, hitting a new depth that no one ever has before. My back arches, and he sweeps his arms under me, pressing me closer to him.

It's never close enough.

The sickness consumes us again. Our lips can ' t remain apart; our tongues must be touching, swirling around each other's. His thrusts are panicked with a feverish need to make me come, to make me forget the past and etch into my mind that I ' m his. Julian Sterling is my future.

" I can ' t get enough of you, Pumpkin," he mutters, and then he pulls out; his lips leave mine as he starts to kiss his way down my body.

" Julian?" I question. I love his lips, but I need him back inside of me now.

He pauses and looks up, his hot breath fanning over my wet sex. Then he ' s kissing me there, licking and sucking, and... it ' s too much. I reach for him, my hands digging into his hair as I try to grab hold of something so I don ' t black out from the pleasure.

" I want to taste you screaming my name as you come every single day, Poppy," he tells me.

He grabs my ankles and drags me towards him. My eyes widen with hunger when he grabs his thick cock and strokes it before he positions it at my sex and pushes it inside me again.

" Julian," I grab his back, my nails digging so deep I know I ' m leaving marks.

" I know," he rests his forehead against mine. " I know, Pumpkin." He kisses me.

" I don ' t want you ever to stop."

" I won ' t," he replies as his movements turn more uncontrolled.

" Oh…god…Julian…" There is a pressure in my core that feels so heavy, so frantic like I ' m going to explode into a million tiny pieces. I want Julian to catch all of them, to keep them safe and make them whole again.

" You ' re going to come for me, on my cock. Mine. You ' re always going to come to me when you need help. Do you understand?"

I nod. This sex therapy is something Julian is mastering. Whenever we make love now, it ' s like he ' s trying to fix me, reassure me, and make me so addicted to him that I ' ll never leave.

" Words, Pumpkin," he thrusts deep and holds it. "I want your words."

" Julian!" I scream. " Yes… god, yes."

" Not God. Me," he pushes deeper. Is that possible? It feels like his cock is grabbing my heart.

" You. You, Julian."

We ' re both coming, and it feels endless. Life changing.

He groans and then collapses on top of me. The weight of his body is like a shield I have always needed. We just lay there tangled, sweaty, breathless in post-orgasmic high. It ' s perfect.

When I feel the blood back in my tingling fingers again, I rub my hands up and down his back. " If you ' re going to fuck me senseless, then I ' m going to need to up my cardio."

His back shakes as he chuckles, his hot breath tickling my neck. He rolls us over, keeping me pressed against his side. " I know a great way to get a cardio workout in." He slaps my ass.

I don ' t know what ' s come over me. Maybe it ' s the joy of not thinking. I push up and straddle his hips again. Reaching for his cock, which is still hard, I begin to stroke it. " Marathon sex training," I state. "I ' ll sign up for that cardio class." I brush my thumb over his tip, and his body shudders. " What are the classes like? Are there any requirements I need to know about?" I rotate my hips up and down, teasing his cock with my hand and my sex.

His mouth is parted, his breath coming in short, deep exhales again. " Yeah,"

I like him like this, breathless under my touch. I shimmy down and lower my lips to him, and then I take him deep into my mouth.

" Jesus, Pumpkin."

Jesus. Who knew sucking the cock of the man you love would elevate you to the 'savior level.' I'll take it. Gladly.

I giggle and release him with a pop. " Tell me what I should expect from these cardio sessions," I purr.

" Lots of fucking." He replies quickly, his fingers curling into the sheets as if he's trying not to touch me, allowing me some control before he snaps. He's going to snap; I can see it. I want it.

I nod and suck him again.

" Yeah, and coming," he moans, sounding like he ' s barely able to speak.

I swirl my tongue around him. " What else?"

" Touching, fucking, coming."

I lick him from root to tip. " You said that," I tease.

" If you don ' t get on my cock this instant, there will be spanking involved, too," he growls.

I flatten my palms on his thighs, then blow cold air over his hard, aching cock. He snaps in the best way possible, grabbing for my hips and then guiding them over his sex; one quick thrust up, and he ' s inside my swollen, tender sex again. My head falls back. Breaking like this is how shattering should be defined.

" You like that?" He lifts my hips and then grinds them down onto him. " You like playing? Teasing? I can play, Poppy," another thrust.

Oh god, I ' m so swollen it feels almost too tight.

" I ' ll play, Pumpkin. I can play cardio all night long."

And that ' s exactly what we do.