3. Lorna

Chapter 3

Lorna

M y mind reeled from everything I'd just learned from Damon and Kenrid. I was pissed off at both of them, and Damon was a complete asshole for forcing Kenrid to reveal that secret the way he did.

It was pretty shitty, Mir said. Especially for someone who's supposed to be his friend. Damon totally threw Kenrid under the bus.

Yep!

That's exactly what had me fuming at my demon. It was shitty.

At the same time, Damon was probably right. Kenrid never would've told me. Not that I could blame him. If I were in Kenrid's shoes, I'd never tell the person I loved that I was responsible for… what? Their creation? I couldn't be mad about that, could I?

I'd loved my life until a few weeks ago. If Kenrid hadn't been there, I might not be who I was today.

No. I was mad because Kenrid knew about my magic and where it came from, yet he didn't tell me. There's a huge difference between fae magic and demon magic. What else did I have? Shifter magic? If so, what kind of shifter? Was that the reason the fates put four different guys in my path?

I didn't really want to think about Kenrid's part in the experiments. He said he took care of the kids. My mind wanted to conjure images of small children in dungeon cells or tiny sterile rooms with no toys or other children to play with, but I knew nothing about the facility or Kenrid's role.

Maybe I didn't want to know.

I can't see Kenrid hurting a kid, Mir said. His heart is too kind. You saw the look on his face before he walked back into the woods. He's been carrying around that guilt for way too long. It's eating him up.

She was right. I could feel Kenrid's pain as he walked away from me. I didn't think it was just from my reaction, either. With the way his voice had trembled and his hands clenched into fists while he told his tale, it was obvious he really did hate what happened.

In the end, I just couldn't picture him as the evil scientist.

Damon's final words ran a loop in my head. We all make bad decisions. It's how we correct those mistakes that defines who we are.

The Kenrid I knew and loved would not willingly hurt innocent people. Maybe one day I'd ask him to tell me the rest of the story, but not today. No matter what I discovered, he was still my soulmate.

And he saved us, Mir added. A couple of times.

Yes, he did. They all did.

Which was why I was sitting in the living room in Nathan's wing of the fortress. I couldn't seem to tell any of them no. Even Nathan.

Damon took up half of the sofa with his demon form on full display. I sat right next to him. Every few seconds, the end of his tail edged closer to my leg.

Nathan lounged in an upholstered chair across from me, looking completely relaxed. I'd believe it if his long fingers weren't drumming on the chair's arm. Every so often, a red ring would circle his irises and his lips would pull into a thin line. His attention alternated between Damon's wandering tail and the wing creeping closer, like it wanted to wrap around me without Damon's consent.

Elliott occupied the seat next to Nathan. Sort of. He perched on the very edge with his elbows resting on his knees, and his fingers running through his short hair. He didn't lift his head, almost like he couldn't stand to see Damon so close. His wolf's anxiety hurt me; I hated to see Elliott and his wolf arguing. I really hoped that wasn't the case, but the alternatives didn't look good either.

Kenrid stood across the room at the bar, making drinks. He'd been there for a full ten minutes, though. Even the worst bartender ever didn't take that long to pour a few whiskeys. I'd blame his procrastination on me—we still hadn't talked since he left me in the woods—but it was obvious that the guys had something on their minds.

"So, how long do I have to sit in suspense before someone tells me what's going on?" I asked.

Damon pulled me closer, and his wing draped over my shoulder. Nathan scowled at my demon.

"We have a clan meeting tonight," Nathan said, dragging his eyes from Damon's possessive wing and looking directly at me. "Despite all of our efforts to dissuade the rumors about you, there are demands of proof."

Sweat broke out across my forehead. I'd worried about this very thing.

"So, parading me around with Damon isn't proof enough?" I asked, even though it was exactly what he'd just said. "What do they want? Do they expect me to sit in a room full of vampires?"

Elliott growled, and Damon's tail wrapped around my leg. I guessed I had my answer.

"We never leave you alone to wander the fortress," Kenrid said, finally making his way to us balancing two glasses. "You don't have your own living space or your own transportation. Someone started a rumor that we're keeping you prisoner in the tower. Which only encourages the suspicions of you being a dhampir. Vampire masters always coveted their dhampir."

Nathan growled and snatched a glass from Kenrid. My fae prince didn't react to the rude gesture, probably because he understood Nathan's frustration.

"That's ridiculous!" I exclaimed, refocusing on Nathan. "You barely even look at me. You certainly don't touch me. They would have to be idiots to think you have any interest in my blood or anything else."

Nathan looked away, his scowl deepening along with the red of his eyes. I instantly regretted my words. They were horribly insensitive, even if they were true.

"I'm sorry, that sounded awful," I admitted, then tried to change the direction of the conversation. "Isn't it normal for fated mates to live together? Or do other couples have separate homes? Where would I stay if not with Damon?"

Kenrid had also moved into Damon's wing of the fortress, but I wasn't sure that was common knowledge. Kenrid handed Elliott a glass of whiskey and sat down beside me.

"Mates always stay together," Kenrid said and pushed Damon's wing aside so he could see me clearly.

A low rumble vibrated in Damon's chest, but he didn't say anything. Kenrid glared at my demon. I understood why Kenrid was mad, but I really hoped they'd get past this sooner rather than later. Regardless of their animosity, I was grateful that Kenrid wasn't completely avoiding me after I'd told him I needed time.

"It's just an excuse to fuel the uncertainty created by Conrad's accusations," Kenrid continued. "You already know how the supernatural community feels about the dhampir. Fear makes them do stupid things. Just like humans. "

I nodded, but he didn't make me feel any better. "So, what's the plan for tonight?"

Kenrid glanced at Nathan, and I followed his gaze.

Nathan sighed, not looking up from the empty glass he rolled between his hands. "During a typical meeting, Damon and Elliott coordinate security along with the rest of the team. Kenrid corrals the fae, and I talk about whatever is on the agenda."

"That leaves me where?" I asked, knowing that I would hate the answer. There were only a couple of options.

"With me," Nathan replied, looking up and piercing me with his red-ringed eyes.

I sucked in a breath. A flicker of Mir's fear poked at me. I understood completely. We weren't ready to be at Nathan's side, especially in a room full of vampires. I did fine surrounded by Kenrid and Damon, but the temptation…

"I'm not ready." My voice trembled with my whispered response.

Kenrid's magic bloomed around me, settling my unease, but only for a second.

"No, Kenrid," Nathan ordered, not taking his eyes from me. "What will it look like if you use your magic to calm her during the meeting? She needs to do this on her own." As he leaned forward, his irises turned completely blue. "You can do this, Lorna. You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I believe your dhampir gives you strength, just as you give yours to her. Together you can accomplish anything."

A lump swelled in my throat, and I swore I heard Mir sniffle. Could she cry? God, I hoped not! One of us being an emotional mess was enough. But how could I not be emotional after Nathan's declaration? Did that mean he truly trusted me?

I think I'm in love , Mir whispered. How does he see us so clearly when he's never around?

I have no idea, I replied. But I can't possibly disappoint him after that vote of confidence.

Agreed.

"Can we test my willpower?" I asked, feeling Mir's agreement.

"I intended to." Nathan stood and strolled to the bar on the opposite side of the room.

Nathan set his glass on the counter and turned to face our little group. Damon still cradled my shoulders beneath his heavy arm, and Kenrid remained on my other side. I glanced at Elliott to find him staring at me.

"Nathan's right," Elliott said, his words not matching his pained expression. "You can do this. You've already proven you're strong enough."

Kenrid gave my knee a quick squeeze. "I agree. It's only been a week, but I no longer worry about you being alone with Damon. You can do this."

I blinked away my tears and smiled at my fae prince. A tentative smile broke through the indifference he was trying to maintain. I needed to talk to him before we went to this meeting. I couldn't leave him uncertain about my feelings.

I placed my hand over his where it still rested on my knee, then sent a focused feeling of acceptance and understanding to him. A wave of relief and gratitude streamed back to me, and Kenrid's smile became a whole lot more sincere.

Damon's clawed finger gently tugged at my chin. I scooted around to face my demon, forcing him to withdraw the arm around my shoulders. His dark eyes searched my face, but he didn't smile.

"Always trust your magic," he said. "It knows what you need. Both of you. Your magic is nothing like any of the rest of ours, so don't compare yourself to anyone. Your uniqueness makes you better."

Did I already tell you I'm in love? Mir asked.

I shook my head and grinned. Yes, many times .

"You know I'd never do this without you, right?" I asked, glancing back at Kenrid and Elliott. "I mean all of you. You're the reason I'm still here and the reason I keep fighting."

Damon leaned forward and pressed a kiss against my forehead. I didn't need him to tell me to get off my ass and do this. I stood, sucked in a deep breath, and took my first step toward my future. What I hoped was my future anyway. If my guys believed I was strong enough, maybe I needed to stop doubting myself.

You and me both, Mir quipped.

I silently agreed with her. We'd already done so much. We could do this, too.

Nathan leaned back against the bar and crossed his arms over his chest. With each step I took in his direction, the red rings around his irises flickered. Maybe I should be concerned about him staying in control. I discarded the thought immediately. The guys had all joked about Nathan's ironclad restraint.

I stopped a step away from the master vampire, trying to take shallow breaths. His intoxicating scent of chocolate and coffee assaulted my senses. Mir whined, and I completely empathized. Not only did he entice Mir's hunger, but he stirred my own desire.

He was extremely handsome with his dark hair and long eyelashes. His sharp features only accentuated the stern countenance he seemed to prefer. That sternness faltered at my approach. His nostrils flared, and the red ring around his irises grew, consuming the blue.

My pulse quickened but not with fear. I wanted to see his vampire. I wanted to taste the power he would give us. The potency of his scent was so much stronger than Conrad's.

"Don't," Nathan grumbled, glancing over my shoulder. "We're fine."

I realized he was talking to my guys. Had I acted like I was losing control? Maybe just a little, but it was so hard not to notice how powerful this man was. Until I had someone to compare him to, I hadn't realized the intensity of his… well, his everything.

"You don't look fine," Damon said.

"It's okay," I said, half turning to see my demon had stood but hadn't moved any closer. "Nathan is right. I can do this."

We need to do this without devouring the tasty treat, Mir said.

"I wasn't talking about you, little d'laej."

"I'm fine," Nathan growled.

I slowly turned back to Nathan. His eyes met mine, and I couldn't look away. His cheekbones and jawline had sharpened. He pressed his lips together and drew a ragged breath through his nose. His whole body shuddered, then he smiled.

Sharp fangs had replaced his canines, but they didn't scare me. Nope. I wanted him to press his lips against my skin. I wanted to feel his tongue on all my sensitive spots. I wanted to return the favor even more.

"You will not bite me," Nathan whispered, sending a shiver down my spine. Was he trying to entrance me?

"Not unless you bite me first," I countered.

I licked my lips and felt the sharp edge of my own fangs against my tongue. While I was physically aroused, Mir wasn't pushing me. I could feel her hunger, but she had it under control.

Mir laughed at my thought. This shit is hard!

Nothing worth having is easy, I said.

"Aren't we supposed to be avoiding that scenario?" Nathan asked, his breath stirring my hair.

When had we gotten closer? Was I the one to close the space between us? I didn't think so.

"Yes, I believe we are," I replied .

Why was I tilting my head to the side? Why didn't I stop him from brushing his lips against my neck? He couldn't entrance me, could he? I was pretty sure he had to use his words to do that, right?

Are we supposed to stop him? Mir asked. Didn't he want us to prove ourselves? Because I'm not resisting him for much longer.

Yes, I said, trying to refocus. What would happen if I let Nathan bite me? What would my mates do if I bit him back? They certainly wouldn't stop me or Nathan, of that I was certain. His blood would make us stronger than I could possibly imagine.

What about Nathan's self-control? my dhampir continued . Why do we have to be the ones to deny him?

This is a test of our strength, not his, I replied, though I suspected Nathan was also fighting against his own desires.

I forced myself to take a step back. Nathan lifted his head but grabbed my arms so I couldn't retreat any farther. A set of blue eyes looked back at me, with not a hint of red.

"Well done," he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear him.

I sighed, grateful he didn't pressure me for more.

"Don't ever think that I don't want you," Nathan continued just as quietly. "If I can find a way that doesn't destroy everything I've built, I'll have all of you."

My eyes widened. I searched his face for the true meaning behind his words. Did he want me , or did he want the power in my blood? I didn't escape one vampire just to be imprisoned by another. My fears must have been written all over my face, because Nathan released his grip and stepped away.

"I've surrendered to fate," he whispered, then looked over my shoulder. "She'll be fine. "

I wasn't sure what he meant, and my brain was still too cloudy to think about it. So I continued to put some much-needed space between us—something I wouldn't be able to do at the clan meeting.