Chapter Twenty-One

Drake

“ A re you going up?” Zeke asked, meeting him at the stairwell to the apartment.

Drake nodded. The sounds of the bar were slowly dying down as the two of them ascended the stairs. “Yeah, I just want to check on things.”

Amara had been staying at the apartment for the last several days, and though he appreciated the fact that she was so attentive to Knox, he had expected her to roam around a bit so that she didn’t go stir-crazy. That hadn’t happened yet.

In fact, she had been surviving solely on the junk food they had stashed away in the house, and it irked him. Not because she was eating their food but because she hadn’t taken the time to make something proper for herself.

He knew he was partially to blame for that because he could have taken the time away from the bar to make her something since she was taking care of Knox. He just hadn’t had the guts to do something so generous yet.

After their massive blowout where Amara had essentially rejected him, things between the two of them had been strained and awkward. He had tried to make things better that first night, but she hadn’t believed a word he said, and he didn’t blame her. He had fucked things up between them and had no idea how to make it right again. Though, he knew now that he wanted to make it right. It had only taken him losing her to realize that. He just hoped that he could somehow win her back.

“Me too,” Zeke smirked knowingly, and Drake figured that he must know about all the times he had peeked his head into Knox's room while he and Amara were sleeping in order to make sure that everyone was still breathing.

Zeke opened the door to the apartment for them and Drake wandered down the hall towards Knox’s room when he didn’t hear any talking. It wasn’t that late, so he didn’t think they would be sleeping. When he arrived at the door, which had been partially left open, he glanced inside the lit room to find them both fast asleep. And naked.

Stepping farther into the room, the toe of his boot kicked something, sending it rolling across the floor. He looked down and spotted an ink bottle, a growing puddle of dark liquid growing around it.

He turned and raised an eyebrow at Zeke, who was right behind him. “Apparently, we missed a real party,” Zeke whispered with a shrug.

“He’s supposed to be resting,” Drake replied, shaking his head. “Not giving himself a new fucking tattoo.”

He turned back toward the bed and spotted the new ink on the side of Knox’s neck immediately. Since they were shifters, their rapid healing made it so that they didn’t need to do much aftercare when it came to tattoos .

The new ink Knox had was not in a place where he would be able to do it himself and was not in his handwriting. He didn’t have big bubbly writing.

He sighed and scrubbed his hands down his face. “Or having her give him one,” he added.

Zeke chuckled under his breath from where he stood next to the edge of the bed. “He’s not the only one who got a tattoo.”

Drake’s gaze snapped toward Amara, whom he had been actively trying not to look at. Sure enough, the dark ink stood out against the pale skin of her chest, right on the swell of her left breast. “Fucking hell.”

Zeke leaned over Amara and squinted. “It’s our names.”

That knowledge had him rolling his eyes. “Of course it is. Figures that Knox would tattoo your names on her. Fucking freak.”

Righting himself, Zeke pointed. “Your name is on there too.”

He blinked. “Wait, what? Why the fuck would he do that?”

He knew that Knox was constantly trying to get him to accept the bond between him and Amara, but he didn’t think the guy would go this far. Surely, she had told him about her rejection, so why would she allow Knox to etch his name into her skin permanently?

“Because she’s your mate too. Get over it and shut the fuck up. I’m trying to sleep here,” Knox grumbled softly, trying not to wake Amara.

Zeke chuckled under his breath and shook his head, but Drake could only stare at his name and the way it stood out against her soft flesh. If he was being honest, he didn’t know how he felt about it. On the one hand, he was pissed because he hadn’t claimed her as his yet, but on the other hand, he liked that it was there. He liked that the world, should they glimpse it, would know that she was his.

While he was struggling with this new emotion, Zeke sat down on the edge of the bed and gently stroked Amara’s back. “Princesa,” he whispered when she began to stir.

“Hmm?” she mumbled back sleepily.

“I’m here to relieve you.”

She smiled softly but shook her head. “I’m fine here. You go get some rest.”

“You’re not fine, Amara,” Drake stated as gently as he could. “You need some real food.”

“Mm, I had a bag of Twizzlers with my coffee. I’m okay.”

Zeke kissed her bare shoulder. “That’s not real food. You need a meal.”

“I’ll take you out,” Drake offered, surprising even himself.

Both Zeke and Amara turned to look at him, and even Knox cracked an eye open. By their expressions, it was evident that they were just as taken aback by his offer as he was.

“What?” he grumbled. “She needs to eat, and we haven’t gone shopping. The logical choice is to get her some damn food.”

“Is this a ploy to get me alone so you can murder me?” Amara asked skeptically, her eyes still squinty from sleep.

His lips pressed into a thin line as he shifted to one side. “No. It’s just food. If it will make you more comfortable, Zeke can go with you, and I can watch over this asshole.”

He wouldn’t mind either way, at least outwardly. He just wanted her to get some real food in her so he could stop the nagging worry that had planted itself in his chest.

“As much as I’d like you to stay here with me, they are right. You need to eat,” Knox told her. “You’ve done enough for me. Go. You need your strength.”

“Why? Are you planning another tattoo party?” she teased him as she sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Knox’s smile grew. “I knew it. You liked it.”

Amara leaned over and pressed her lips against Knox’s. “I did.” With that, she climbed out of bed, wrapping the sheet around herself as she moved toward her bag. “I guess I can eat. I don’t really care who takes me.”

After pulling out some clothes, she headed into the hall and toward the bathroom to get dressed.

Once she was gone, Drake turned back toward the others, only to be met by Zeke’s questioning stare.

“What?” he asked, feeling uncomfortable from the weight of it.

“I swear to God, if you say something that hurts her, I will come for you when you least expect it,” Knox threatened.

Zeke scrubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “It is a little out of the blue. Are you sure about this?”

He shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Bull shit. You can barely be in the same room as her unless you are fucking her. This is a very big deal,” Knox retorted.

“Whatever,” was all he said before he marched from the room and waited for Amara in the hallway.

He didn’t blame them for their skepticism because he wasn’t sure why he had offered to do it either. All he knew was that he wanted to try to make things right between him and Amara, or at least to get on better speaking terms. He didn’t like the way they had left things, and neither did his wolf.

It didn’t take long for her to emerge from the bathroom, her hands occupied by tying her hair up into a messy bun.

“Ready?” he grunted, taking in the way her jeans clung to her curves and the way her shirt dipped low enough for some of the fresh tattoos to peek out.

Amara gave him a hesitant smile. “Sure. But you don’t have to do this, you know.”

Instead of responding, he placed a hand on the small of her back and guided her out of the apartment.

The drive to the restaurant was quiet, and Amara just kept staring out of the window. The two of them climbed out of the car into the cool, calm night. The sky was clear, not a cloud in sight, but there was a gentle breeze that made the trees sway.

When they got inside the small restaurant, the hostess greeted them with a kind smile. “Good evening. Would you and your girlfriend prefer to sit inside or out on the patio this evening?”

Beside him, Amara stiffened.

The fact that she had just called Amara his girlfriend made him shiver, but he tried not to read too much into it.

“Outside would be great,” he replied casually.

The hostess nodded before leading them through the restaurant and out onto the patio. There were fewer people outside, which gave them a bit more privacy. He wasn’t sure if that was exactly what he wanted though because he didn’t know if he could trust himself to be alone with her anymore. His wolf was vividly aware of every move she made, every breath she took, and the way her scent had completely surrounded him. It was taking everything he had not to reach out and touch her in some way, and he was beginning to think that this was a very bad idea.

He and Amara sat down at the small table in the corner of the patio while the hostess handed them their menus. She asked if she could get them started with something to drink, and Amara just asked for water while he ordered a soda. He was drawn to Amara’s kind smile and bright eyes as she thanked the hostess before the woman rushed away. She really was breathtakingly beautiful.

The two of them browsed their menus in a tense and awkward silence. He didn’t know what to say, and it was obvious that Amara didn’t either. He knew it was because, the last time they were alone together, things had gotten heated between them. Things had been said, and he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since.

Her words had cut him deep. They hurt, and he hated it, but he also didn’t understand why. He had thought that was what he wanted, for her to reject him, but over the last several days, while Amara tended to Knox, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

The silence, however, he couldn’t stand any longer, and he set his menu down. “Do you know what you are getting?”

She glanced up at him from over her own menu, an eyebrow raised in question. “Is that really what you want to talk about, Drake? Food?”

He grunted and toyed with the condensation from his glass on the table. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“So, you don’t want to talk about the elephant in the room?”

Looking up at her, he said nothing.

Amara sighed and set the menu down on the corner of the table before folding her hands in front of her. “I know you saw the tattoo. And for the record, I was blindfolded and had no idea what he was doing. I know how you feel about me. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

He shrugged and looked back at the condensation. “It doesn’t bother me.”

“Well, it bothers me,” she replied shortly. “I’m not a fan of having the name of someone who can’t stand me permanently tattooed onto my skin.”

Drake ground his teeth together in irritation. This wasn’t how he wanted the night to go. “And if I told you that I like it?”

“Then I’d say you were a liar.”

“If I didn’t like it, I’d be pissed, don’t you think?”

Amara just shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe you realize that it’s permanent so it doesn’t matter if you get pissed or not.”

“Don’t tell me how I’m supposed to feel, Amara. I told you it doesn’t bother me. I told you that I like it. Leave it at that,” he growled.

Shaking her head in disbelief, Amara picked up her menu and shrugged again. “Whatever you say, Drake.”

Her dismissive tone irked him, and he found himself getting angry, but he quickly tamped it down. She didn’t know him, so how would she know if he was lying or not?

“We should have this talk now,” he stated because he didn’t like the rift that had grown between them, even though he was the one who put it there in the first place.

“I wasn’t aware that there was anything to talk about,” she replied without bothering to look at him. “You made your feelings on the matter clear. So, I’m distancing myself. It’s as simple as that.”

Drake dropped his fists onto the table, rattling the drinks and drawing attention to the two of them, but he didn’t care. “Damn it, Amara.”

“What do you want from me, Drake? I tried. Okay? I tried to prove to you that I’d be good to you, but it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough. You made it clear time and time again that you didn’t want this. You used me like I was just some…” She paused and glanced around before lowering her voice so that only he could hear. “Fuck toy. And only now that I’m finally putting some distance between us do you get upset. I’m doing what you wanted!”

Her words felt like a slap to the face that forced him to look away. Everything she said was true; that was exactly how he treated her, and he regretted every part of it.

Once he had his anger in check, he sighed. “It’s not what I want,” he began. And it was the truth. Having her near them had caused a serious number of problems, but now, the thought of not having her near them caused him an immense amount of pain. It made him want to fucking puke, knowing that she had walked away from him, by his own doing too. “I do want you, and not as some fuck toy. It just took me too long to realize it.”

Amara’s face fell as she looked down at her lap. She looked crushed, devastated, and it burned him to the core. “I can’t keep doing this, Drake. It hurts too much. I’m sorry. Maybe we should just go.”

As she rose from the table, his hand shot out and grasped hers before she could leave. “Don’t. Please.”

There must have been something in his expression that caused her to pause because she slowly sat back down. He didn’t release her hand as he continued. “If I could, I’d take back everything I said and did to you. I’d erase it all and start over, but I can’t. I don’t know what to do, Amara. I don’t know how to win you back. I just know that I have to because I can’t stand the thought of never having you at all.”

He could tell that she was fighting back tears as she shook her head. “You are just saying that because I said I wouldn’t sleep with you anymore.”

“Fuck,” he growled, his nostrils flaring. He was pissed. Not at her but at the fact that he had done so much to her that she thought that. “This isn’t about sex. This is… I can’t fucking breathe without you, damn it. I’d be satisfied with this,” he waved his hand between the two of them. “For the rest of our lives.”

She was quiet for a while, her eyes searching his. “What changed, Drake?” she finally asked. “At least, tell me that. Because right now, it seems like you only started coming around to all this when I told you I was done.”

It was a good question, and she was right; the timing of it was suspicious. But that wasn’t something he was able to control.

“All I asked for was time, and it’s shitty timing with what happened with Knox, but I was able to get that time. To self-reflect. I was able to step back and think about it all as a whole – my past, my present, my future, and where you fit into it all. It took me too long, and I apologize for that, but I know now that the only place you fit in is my present and future, and you have nothing to do with my past. I was scared, and I took it out on you. I never should have done that.”

“I was scared too, you know,” she said softly. “I was scared of what my father would do if he found out. I was scared that I wasn’t going to be enough for the three of you. But I trusted Zeke and Knox when they told me that we’d get through it together. And we have. All I wanted was a chance and you… you couldn’t even give me that.”

“I wasn’t capable of giving that to you. I… my… god-fucking-damn it.” He angrily swiped a hand down his face, trying to regain his composure. “I let my past rule my life, I always have, and it caught up to me when you came along. I don’t think I could have given anyone a chance at that point, and that’s on me. I… I should have set it aside. I should have been a better man, but I clung to you and pushed you away at the same time. I don’t blame you if you don’t want my apology. I don’t blame you if you don’t want to try again. I just wanted you to know that the only person I’ll ever want is you.”

The waitress came up to the table right then and asked if they were ready to order. He wanted nothing more than to tell her to fuck off, but he clamped his jaw shut and let Amara order her food. She needed it.

He watched as she ordered it cheerfully and with a smile. It was so natural that no one would have ever guessed that they had been arguing just seconds before. When she was done, he placed his own order.

As soon as the waitress was gone, Amara’s mask faded in an instant. “That’s the problem, Drake. I do want this. I want you. I always have. But can you try to see things from my point of view for a second and understand why it’s so hard for me to believe you right now? You have a past, and I get that, but I don’t know anything about it because you refused to tell me. And that’s fine. I’m not going to pry because it’s none of my business. But you have to understand how it felt that night when you basically hate fucked me and then just walked out. And that was after you kept telling me that you wanted nothing to do with me.”

Drake sat there in silence, thinking about what she said, and he realized that she wasn’t wrong. He deserved this. All of it and more.

“Alright,” she whispered when he didn’t respond. His head snapped up, but she wasn’t looking at him. “Alright. We can… we can try again. I’ll give you all the time you want, or need, or whatever. Apparently, I just can’t say no to you guys.”

She busied herself with putting her napkin in her lap, but he spotted a few tear drops hitting the tablecloth in front of her. He did that to her, and it fucking hurt.

“I don’t need time. I know what I want, what I should have known from the beginning.”

She continued to fiddle with the napkin in her lap as if unsure of what to say to him.

“Amara…”

A tear rolled down her cheek as she finally met his gaze. “Hmm?”

He swallowed hard. “I want you, baby. The good, the bad, the ugly. Give me any version of you that you want, and I guarantee you I’ll enjoy it.”

She sighed with a watery smile. “Funny thing is, Drake, I’ve always been yours. Every part of me.”

His heart began to beat rapidly in his chest, so much so that he placed his hand over it in case it attempted to leap from his ribcage. “I’m not too late?”

“I don’t think it’s ever too late when it comes to fate.”

As he was sitting there, unable to believe his luck, the waitress returned with their food and set the plates down in front of them before asking if they needed anything else.

Drake beamed, his eyes still glued to Amara. “No. I have everything I need now.”