Chapter Twenty

Amara

F ive days had passed since Amara had found Knox passed out. Five days of constant worry and fear that he might never fully recover. And in those five days, she hardly left his side.

She had closed the bookstore in order to stay with him, and she’d only gone back home once to get some clean clothes and to make an appearance for her father. He wasn’t happy about her being gone so much, but she no longer cared. It wasn’t him that she cared about.

Drake and Zeke alternated keeping an eye on the bar because they both seemed to know that Knox was in good hands with her. However, they were taking turns taking care of her because, if they didn’t bring her food and water, she wouldn’t have eaten or drunk anything. Her focus was solely on Knox, but she did take the time to go through his room and most of the apartment to see if he had stashed drugs anywhere else. She ended up flushing six baggies.

The side effects of withdrawal were what scared her most. She’d never seen someone go through it before. Knox was constantly asking for more drugs, and he seemed to be famished all the time. It frustrated her that he was picky about what kind of food they brought him, and sometimes he got so upset he’d throw the plate across the room. Once, he narrowly missed hitting Zeke in the face.

He was irritable, paranoid, and having trouble sleeping. From his groans, she could tell he ached all over, and he was sweating so much that she had to change the sheets every day. Amara felt helpless because there was nothing she could do to make it better.

As the days went on, the side effects lessened, but the cravings hadn’t gone away, and Amara was insisting that he stay in bed a few more days just to be sure he was okay.

Now, as she walked down the hallway with a cup of coffee in her hand meant for Knox, she could hear the sheets rustling. She quickened her steps with a scowl on her face and found Knox getting out of bed. “What are you doing?” she demanded, putting her free hand on her hip.

Without glancing at her, he rummaged through a drawer. “Getting out of this fucking bedroom. I cannot stare at these four walls anymore.” He pulled out a clean pair of shorts and slid them on.

“Stop being a baby, and get back into bed, Knox.”

The smirk he wore surprised her. She hadn’t seen it in days.

He crossed the distance between them and pulled her flush against his chest. “I’m only going back to bed if you let me bury my cock in your pussy, and nothing more.” She could feel the beginnings of his erection press against her belly .

She gently shoved against his chest, loving that the playful yet hungry side of him was returning. “I promised you I was going to help you through this. Why won’t you just let me do that?”

He kissed her quickly and spanked her ass. “You have. But I still need fresh air. You can’t deny that this room is stale.”

“So open a damn window!”

He was silent for a moment as he tried to think of another excuse. When he couldn’t, he set his expression. “I’m leaving this room, little bunny. You’ll have to stab me to stop me, and I just might like that.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes, knowing that fighting him was pointless. “Fine, but the patio only! I mean it, Knox.”

The nip on her bottom lip stung a little, but he lifted her up and set her aside like a doll. Then, he marched out of the room. “Compromise,” he said over his shoulder. “I’ll allow it this time.”

She turned and followed him out, knowing that she needed to keep an eye on him. She didn’t go through all this crap only to have him fall off the wagon this soon.

Stepping out onto the patio, she set the coffee down on the small table next to Knox before stretching. She had spent more time sleeping in the chair next to his bed than she would have liked. It wasn’t the most comfortable, and her sleeping positions had been in odd angles. Every muscle in her shoulders and back was tight.

“How are you feeling?” she glanced at him from over her shoulder. “Apart from restless.”

“I’m fine,” was his only answer. That was always his answer, but she knew he’d just been playing off how he was feeling. He sat down in the chair and closed his eyes, basking in the sun that made his skin and tattoos glow .

“Liar,” she muttered under her breath.

He peeked open an eye before closing it again and slouching in the chair. “Antsy.”

She nodded in understanding. “Anything I can do to help?”

He grinned. “You can fuck me. That might help. We haven’t tested that theory out yet.”

“Not happening. You still need your rest. You shouldn’t even be out of bed.”

She looked back over the city, and she should have known better than to turn her back on a predator because, before she knew it, his strong arms were snatching her up. He yanked her back and plopped her into his lap. She started to protest, but he situated her so that she was straddling him, and he buried his face into the side of her neck. “I’m not fragile. If I want to fuck my mate, I’ll do it.”

The sigh she gave rustled a few strands of his hair. “I never said you were fragile. And I’m sorry if I’m being a bit overbearing, I just…” She rested her head against his shoulder. “I’ve never been so scared in my life. You mean so much to me, you know.”

He ran his fingers up and down her back. “It’ll take a lot to put me down.”

“Could have fooled me,” she mumbled, tracing her fingers against the tattoos on his chest.

He kissed the top of her head. “It’s over. It’s done with. It won’t happen again, not as long as we are mates. No going back, I swear it.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

They were quiet for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts while he rubbed circles on her back and she traced his tattoos. He was the one to break the silence as he asked, “Do you know what that means?”

“What?” She lifted her head a little .

“The tattoo you’re tracing. Do you know what it means?”

She shook her head. “No. Do they all have meaning?”

“Only pussies get tattoos without some sort of meaning.”

She leaned back to get a full view of the ink she’d been giving attention to. It was of a few roses. “So, what does it mean?”

“I got it the day after I killed my father.”

The lack of sorrow and regret caused her eyes to widen a little. “You killed your father?”

He nodded once. “It was the only way to be free,” he said truthfully. “Like yours, he would have chased me to the ends of the earth. But the roses, they represent the place where I buried him. I wanted him to rest in the afterlife somewhere ‘pretty,’ something with a view, so I found a patch of wildflowers in the forest and buried him underneath them. He may have been a complete asshole, but I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t, even in death.”

She continued to trace the petals, unable to bring herself to speak. She had more in common with this broken soul than she realized.

“Do you have any tattoos hiding on you?” he asked.

Her laugh was soft and quiet. “You’ve seen every inch of me. You know I don’t.”

For a heartbeat, he said nothing. “We definitely need to rectify that.” He lifted her up, slung her over his shoulder, and carried her back into the apartment.

“Wait, what?” she squeaked. “How do you plan on doing that? You promised we’d only go to the patio!”

“Calm down,” he grunted as she slapped his ass. “We aren’t leaving this precious apartment.”

She was confused enough to stop from pummeling the back of his thighs. “Then how exactly do you expect me to get a tattoo? Besides, shouldn’t I have time to think about what I’d want permanently etched onto my body?”

She wasn’t going to lie; she was beginning to freak out a little.

Not so gently, he sat her down on his bed and pointed to the front of the mattress. “Lie down.”

“Hang on! Aren’t we going to talk about this?”

He rummaged around in his closet, but he paused, looked over his shoulder, and lifted an eyebrow at her. “No. Lie the fuck down.”

She glanced at the door, wondering how far she could get before he caught her. She wasn’t sure she liked the glint in his eye. “Knox,” she began carefully.

“Don’t run from me, little bunny.” His grin was feral, and his words were almost a dare. “I’m hard as a rock and haven’t fucked you in days. If you run, I’ll have no choice but to hunt you down and rectify that.”

She chewed on her lip, tasting a little blood, because she knew he meant every word. He lived for the dares.

Reluctantly, she did as he asked and lay down near the edge of the bed.

With a little bit of a sad expression that she didn’t actually meet his dare, he turned back to the task at hand. He pulled a bag and a blindfold from his closet and headed toward her. She eyed them as he set them on the bed, but he took her chin in his fingers, forcing her to look at him, and then he kissed her. “Take your shirt off.”

Her heart beat faster, but she removed her shirt and chucked it at him with a glare. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

The chuckle he gave was wicked as he brought the blindfold to her face, slipped it over her head, and covered her eyes until all she could see was complete darkness. He nipped at his bite mark and said, “It won’t take long. ”

“This is crazy,” she told him, her voice shaking a little. “I swear to god, if you ever say that I don’t trust you after this, I’m going to murder you.”

He tsked her as he pinched the hem of her shorts and underwear and yanked them down her legs.

“Whoa! Hang on! Just how big is this tattoo going to be?” She tried to scamper away but found it hard to do while she was blindfolded.

He grabbed hold of her and pinned her to the bed. “Do you remember my warning, little bunny?”

She struggled to try to stay calm. She just wanted to talk some sense into him was all. “Yes, I do. And I’m sorry, but I think we need to talk about this.”

“Trust me. It’ll be fine. Nothing big, except for the meaning behind it.”

“At least, tell me what you’re planning on doing?” she huffed because it was rare for him to get so serious.

“Not a chance,” he stated, easing up his grip on her.

“Have you done this before?”

“Yes. I’ve done some of mine, and some of Drake and Zeke’s.” He completely let her go, and she could hear him starting to dig into his bag.

Knowing she wasn’t going to get out of this, she sighed and shimmied to get more comfortable. “Is this . . . is it going to hurt?”

“Maybe,” he answered a little distractedly. “But I plan to make it less painful for you.” Things were moved and placed beside her shoulder, and then Knox was climbing on the bed and sliding between her legs. She gasped when his cocked pressed against her clit as he settled some of his weight.

The tattoo gun buzzed to life, and she let out a high-pitched squeak. “Are you sure you’re up for this?” she asked nervously.

He only shushed her, nudged her entrance, and slid inside before pressing the needle to the skin above her heart. Her body stiffened and she arched her back on instinct, but he pinned her down with his free arm.

“You have to stay still, or you’ll fuck it up.”

She deadpanned behind the blindfold. “That’s going to be hard to do with your dick in me, you know.”

He pulled out and thrust back into her punishingly. “Are you questioning my methods?”

She clamped her mouth shut to stifle the moan at the back of her throat and shook her head quickly. It didn’t last long, however, because she winced when the needle continued to pierce her skin. She couldn’t see what Knox was tattooing on her, but his motions were fluid and smooth. He was taking his time, but she still couldn’t believe that she was going through with it.

Every now and then, he lifted the needle and slowly slid in and out of her until she was close to cumming, and then he’d stop and go back to the tattoo. Between both sensations, she was having a hard time staying still and quiet.

They kept up this routine for what felt like forever before the tattoo gun turned off. He bent and sucked her lip into his mouth. “Do you have any idea how hard it was not to fuck you senselessly? But it’s done.”

He didn’t pull out as he tugged off the blindfold so she could see. She instantly looked down and was shocked by what she saw. Knox not only tattooed his name on her but also Zeke’s and Drake’s. All three of her mates’ names were now permanently sketched into her skin directly over her heart.

She didn’t know what to say.

“Do you like it?” he asked quietly. For the first time since she’d met him, his tone sounded vulnerable .

Blinking back tears, she reached up and cupped his face before pressing a kiss to his lips. “I love it.”

“Good.” She squealed when he immediately flipped her over so she was on top of him and slammed her back down on his cock. They moaned together, and she tipped her head back in pure bliss. She almost thought she was finally going to get to climax but he reached and picked up the tattoo gun, placing it in her hand. “My turn.”

She lifted her eyebrows in surprise. “You want Zeke and Drake’s names on you?”

He grunted, shifted her a little, and clenched his teeth against the pleasure. “Fuck no. Just yours will do.”

“Y-you want me to permanently mark your skin with my name?”

He settled back into the pillow, completely at ease, and his hands tightened on her hips. Slowly, he lifted her, only to sink her back down. “Wherever you want.”

“So your dick then,” she teased.

As if he might like that idea, he grinned. “Wherever you want.”

Pressing her lips together, she tried to find a place. His entire chest was already covered in tattoos. “The only place I can see is the side of your neck, but then everyone will be able to see it.”

In answer, he tipped his head to the side. “Don’t try to make it something you’re not. Do it in your handwriting. Nothing fancy. Just you.”

She nodded in understanding. “So, it’s just like signing my name? There’s no special technique or anything that goes along with it?”

He shook his head. “Just take it slow and don’t press too hard. You just want to get the first few layers of skin, not the muscle.”

A nervous energy made her hands shake a little, but she took a deep breath to calm herself. Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she rocked her hips against his, pushing him in deeper, before she leaned forward and pressed the tattoo gun against his skin.

She moved slowly as he instructed and began to sign her name. It wasn’t as easy as signing her name on paper, but it wasn’t as hard as she made it out to be either. When she was finished, she stuck a little heart at the end and then sat back with a grin.

“Done?” he asked, strained.

She nodded and winced a little. “Did I hurt you?”

“Fuck no,” he grunted. “Turned me the fuck on.” He flipped them back over so that he was on top, and he slammed back into her.