Chapter 10 - Joyce

I spent the weekend working in the garden, trying to clear my mind of Anton and all that had happened. Nothing I did at home appeared to help, so I decided to come in earlier than usual. The last two days had been torture.

For some reason, I couldn’t get Anton out of my head. He had crawled into the deepest corners of my mind. Whenever I thought I could focus on something else, something reminded me of him. There I was, feeling lost all over again.

Taking on more work, I tried to bury myself in it. I had to find a way to move forward. I struggled to keep images of Anton from invading my mind. The harder I tried, the more my mind focused on him.

As the week progressed, I worked longer hours. I took on more clients. I even started assisting some of the other employees with their work. But nothing I did alleviated the sense of incompleteness I felt.

Friday was only half a day. Stepping into the office, I already feared having to go home. The morning started like every other. The office building was void of any life when I entered. After making a fresh pot of coffee, I poured myself a cup and went to my office.

Switching on my computer, I tried to overload my mind with waybills, shipment instructions, and client requests. By lunch, I had worked through everything. As I sat back in my chair, I turned to the window. I noticed a light breeze blowing outside as the trees swayed left and right.

My mind drifted off, and I was back at the safe house with Anton. Shaking my head profusely, I rose from my chair, angry. Storming out, I decided to grab lunch outside. Maybe the fresh air would clear the cobwebs. I pressed the elevator button and waited.

I was ready to step in as the doors opened but froze in place. I blinked rapidly and then rubbed my eyes. Was I imagining things now, I wondered as Anton came out of the elevator. Reaching up in disbelief, I softly touched his cheek. I had to make sure he was real. “Anton,” I breathed out, still trying to wrap my mind around him being there.

He stared into my eyes as a smile formed on his lips. “Hi, Joyce. Can we talk?” He said as he took hold of my hand pulling it down.

My mind filled with questions as I glanced around. Luckily, no one was in reception as my reaction would have raised a mountain of enquiries. “Yes, yes,” I replied quickly. Turning, I led him back to my office. He held my hand tightly as we moved, and I didn’t even try to fight it.

His touch was warm and unexpectedly comforting. I was glad to see him and felt my stomach turning as we walked. Stepping into my office, some clarity entered my foggy brain. Turning swiftly, I pulled my hand from his and moved around my desk. I watched as Anton closed the door and stepped up to my desk.

He smiled as he came closer, placing a package on my desk. I couldn’t believe he was here. Did he miss me, or did he want something else? “I thought we could have lunch,” he said smoothly.

Still stunned by his appearance, I nodded as I sat down in my chair. “Sure, have a seat,” I replied, waving him to the chair beside him. My voice sounded a bit shaky, and so did my insides. Clearing my throat, I wiped the influx of images from my mind. I had to stay focused until I was sure of his intentions.

He spoke as he took out two containers from the bag. “I had to swing by and find out how you have been.” I watched guardedly as he placed one down before me.

I wasn’t sure if he was truly interested to know how I’d been or if he wanted to squeeze me for more intel. Opening the container, I answered carefully. “I’m good, thanks.” Looking from the food before me to Anton, I pondered on what he could want from me.

“Any exciting developments going on around here?” he asked a bit too casually.

At this, my walls instantly went up. “What is this, Anton?” I questioned, feeling sure he just wanted more information. “I gave you all you asked for; why are you here?”

I watched as he rose and walked to the window. He was more than just handsome. The jeans he was wearing framed his buttocks beautifully. His long, muscular legs also filled the pipes tightly. His shirt was just taut enough to highlight his upper body. The sun coming in made his black hair shine.

My stomach turned and twisted as I studied the fine specimen before me. I couldn’t pull my eyes away. I felt entranced by his manliness. My mouth opened as my tongue licked my lips. I felt my chest closing slowly as my breathing became harder. Shaking my head, I lowered my gaze, feeling guilty for the thoughts entering my mind.

Then suddenly, Anton turned and stormed at me. I jumped up, gasping as he grabbed me by the arms and pulled me up against him. “Joyce,” he whispered, looking deeply into my eyes.

My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my body as it raced. His hold was strong but gentle. My legs felt like Jello; I was sure if he let go of me, I would flop to the floor. Breathing in heavily, I placed my hands on his sides. “Yes,” I whispered back.

As he spoke, I could feel his hot breath tickling my lips. “I want to know how you are doing. Are you okay? Are you coping?”

My insides were all twisted. My emotions were on a wild rollercoaster ride as I swam into his grey eyes. I wanted to close mine and allow his lips to create sparks with mine. But something inside me kept me back. “It has been hard, but I am truly okay,” I breathed out, looking at his inviting lips.

“Oddly enough,” I added, moving my hands gently up and down his sides. “I have missed being in the safe house.” Lowering my gaze, I looked at his chest. The top two buttons of his shirt were open, exposing just a hint of the flawless muscles biding behind it.

“Yes,” Anton replied softly. “I agree; it feels strange not having you there anymore.” He tenderly placed his hands around me settling them on the small of my back as he pulled me in tighter. I could feel his heart beating in his chest.

Looking up at him, I smiled shyly as my body ached for more of his touch. I felt a warmth building between my legs as my insides fluttered. “We could always…,” I started saying but stopped as I heard people in the hallway.

Glancing at the door, I prayed they would just pass and not interrupt us. I wanted him to do more than talk. My body was screaming for his touch. Once their voices faded, I turned my attention back to the man whose arms were holding me up.

“Joyce,” he whispered again. This time, he leaned in, speaking into my ear. His lips grazed the fine hair on my neck. My body shivered lightly.

“Yes, Anton,” I replied, closing my eyes. I wanted him to go ahead, to explore my body. But it wasn’t something I would ask. He had to make the first move. I had to be sure he wanted it.

“I have to go,” he said, stepping back.

Opening my eyes, I looked at him questioningly. “What?” I asked.

He smiled, and I felt my legs wobbling as he let go. “I just came to check on you. I might again, but seeing that you are good, I must go now.”

I was stunned. My words caught in my throat as I watched him turn and walk away. I tried calling after him, but no sounds were coming out of my open mouth. A deep sadness watched over me as I moved to my chair and flopped into it.

“What just happened?” I asked, looking up at the ceiling. The rest of the day went by incredibly slowly. I was walking around in stupor most of the time, trying to figure out if he was interested or not. I had never felt like this with any man before.

He wasn’t the kind of man my family would approve of, but my mind and body wanted him. Hell, I felt sure even my heart wanted him. I was still moving around in a daze as the day ended.

It felt like I was moving mechanically as I heated some leftovers and sat down on my bed to watch a movie. I thought maybe tomorrow would be better as I lay back and closed my eyes.