Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

ELEANOR

I was burning up, and not because of the intensity in Dylan’s gaze as he stared at me.

“I understand it’s hard for you to look beyond my mistake with Micah. But I promise you that since that night, I haven’t been able to be with her. I can’t.”

I’d never heard Dylan sound so passionate, his face a mask of regret and more than a hint of self-loathing.

Maybe that was the reason my anger began to falter. My cheeks flushed as an unfamiliar heat crept up on me.

“Dylan.”

I didn’t know what else to say.

“Everything is moving so fast, Eleanor,” Dylan rasped, his gaze slightly distant, like he was lost in his memories. “I saw a life with you. A future of us together…forever. And I blew it.”

I wished I’d held on to my anger a little longer because now that it was gone, I couldn’t help but remember Micah’s taunts about how he’d been high the night he betrayed me.

So for just one moment, I imagined what it was like to be Dylan.

One minute, he’d been about to be happily mated. Regardless of how everything had turned out in the end, we’d been happy once. That was why his betrayal had cut so deeply.

The next minute, after one mistake and his rather belated apology, he’d ended up mated to Micah, while I was mated to his older brother.

Then his father was on his deathbed, leaving Dylan to assume power in a pack that wanted his older brother to be their alpha instead of him.

I looked away from Dylan quickly, my chest burning.

The villain here wasn’t Dylan or Alexander.

It was me.

I’d worsened the relationship between the two brothers. It was my fault we were in this mess.

“I shouldn’t have marked Micah that day.” Dylan’s soft voice drew me out of the labyrinth of my thoughts. “I shouldn’t have let my anger get the better of me. I shouldn’t have needed the hunt to realize I couldn’t live without you.”

Dylan’s apology made me feel sick, and more than a little guilty.

“What do you want from me?” I asked, my voice coming out way softer than I meant it to.

Dylan took one step closer, then another, his eyes smoldering with heat as he reached out to cup my cheek, his hand a cool balm against my scalding hot skin.

“Choose me,” he whispered earnestly.

“I’m already mated to Alexander,” I reminded him.

Dylan shook his head. When his eyes met mine again, they glistened with unshed tears.

“I love you, Eleanor…more than he ever could.”

Goosebumps broke out across my skin.

Did he really mean?—

No. It didn’t matter. It was too late.

“We both made our choices, Dylan, and we didn’t choose each other,” I stated evenly, taking a step away from him.

Dylan’s face fell.

“Eleanor, please,” he begged.

I took another step back, my vision suddenly blurring.

“I can’t, I?—”

I was unable to finish my thought before a high-pitched whine tore its way through my mind, completely debilitating both Lara and me.

A piercing pain unlike anything I’d ever felt slammed into me. I clutched my head in my hands and fell to my knees, a scream trapped in my throat.

“Eleanor, what’s wrong?” Dylan’s voice shook with worry as he reached out to me.

His hand touched the back of my shoulder and my pain seemed to double, my vision going dark.

I struggled to take a full breath. My skin felt too tight, my pulse raced hard, and my entire existence narrowed to the burning sensations surging through me.

Dylan lifted me into his arms, and I couldn’t hold back my scream of pain.

Dylan cursed under his breath, his voice rising several octaves as he called out for help.

“Get me a physician!” he barked. “Get me a?—”

Whatever else he wanted to say was lost as a bone-chilling growl filled the hallway.

“Take your hands off her,” Alexander snarled.

Goddess, his voice.

I could listen to it forever.

It was a perfect blend of seductive sensuality and primal masculinity that sent tingles right between my thighs.

Had his voice always had this effect on me? I couldn’t remember.

Dylan held me closer, and the resulting pain broke the thrall Alexander’s voice had put me under.

“I won’t,” Dylan bit out, his tone almost protective. “This isn’t the time for you to be controlling. Eleanor is hurt and she needs?—”

“Her mate,” Alexander interrupted with a growl that was closer to me, vicious yet somehow arousing. “She’s in heat.”

That wasn’t possible. But Lara’s purr deep within me confirmed his words.

Heat was a biological reaction in a female werewolf who’d been claimed, but hadn’t fully formed a mate bond. It was nature’s way of ensuring the consummation and completion of the mate bond.

The female werewolf would experience pain and unbearable desire that could only be sated by her mate, while the mate in question would be unable to resist her.

But that wasn’t what had Dylan stiffening and me in shock.

No. It was the fact that heat could only happen when the couple were true mates.

Not self-chosen mates like Alexander and I were.

Alexander lifted me out of Dylan’s frozen arms.

“She’s mine.” Alexander’s voice was deadly soft. “Never forget that.”

I had many reservations about being this close to Alexander, considering how we’d parted ways, but I couldn’t hold in a sigh of pleasure at being held by him.

I pounded weakly against his chest as my mind clouded over with an intense yearning for Alexander.

“Let me go,” I demanded, but my voice was too high-pitched and needy as I battled Lara’s insane urge to arch up against him.

Alexander didn’t even pause, his arms impossibly gentle as he carried me.

I twisted, trying to push against him again in a last-ditch attempt at salvaging what was left of my sanity.

“Alexander—” I tried to protest, but his name warped into a moan that was equal parts pain and want as another wave of agony rolled over me.

Alexander cradled me closer, and I tucked my face into his chest.

“I got you,” he said soothingly, his voice a sensual caress that had no business affecting me as much as it did.

The door slammed open and Alexander strode into our room, where Lily was waiting.

“Alpha, I prepared the ice-cold bath as you requested,” Lily said. “The physicians are on their way.”

Alexander barely spared her a glance.

“Thank you, Lily,” he said dismissively, and the door slammed shut as Lily exited our bedroom. Alexander strode into his bathroom like a man on a mission.

My core clenched helplessly. Goddess, I hoped the mission was me.

That was my last coherent thought before Alexander placed me into a bathtub filled with freezing water and floating pieces of ice.

I shuddered violently from the cold, the chill reverberating through me momentarily replacing the pain.

“Alexander,” I gasped, reaching out to him instinctively.

“I’m here,” Alexander said, climbing into the bathtub and pulling me into his arms, my back to his chest.

Goddess, I was burning up.

My skin felt cool, but on the inside, I was still unbearably hot.

Alexander’s potent cinnamon scent washed over me, his body wet and impossibly hard behind me. His fingers threaded through mine as his breath on my neck sent pleasurable shivers down my spine.

I sucked in a deep breath, trying to rein in my baser impulses, but that just brought Alexander’s addictive scent even closer to me.

“I’ve got you,” Alexander said steadily, completely misunderstanding my sudden stillness. “You’ll be fine.”

His lips brushed the side of my neck as he shifted to help me find a more comfortable position, and that was all it took to fracture my tenuous hold on my arousal.

I pulled my fingers out of his and moved, ignoring the water that spilled over the sides of the bathtub as I straddled Alexander and faced him head-on.

Goddess, he was a sight to behold.

He was drenched, his shirt clinging to his body in a way that made my mouth water. His dark hair was plastered to his forehead as his beautiful ocean-blue eyes drew me in like a moth to a flame.

I knew I was going to get burned, but I didn’t care anymore.

I touched his cheek with my index finger, tracing the solid panes of his face down to the lips that tormented me, and Alexander tensed beneath me, desire sparking in the icy depths of his eyes.

Keeping my eyes locked on his, I leaned in, only to feel the firm grip of Alexander’s hand on my neck pulling me closer.

My nipples tightened painfully as my eyes rolled back at his touch.

But instead of kissing me and putting me out of my misery, Alexander pulled me to his chest, trapping me in a platonic embrace.

I let out a frustrated whine, but Alexander’s hold on me was unshakable.

“Calm down, Eleanor. The physicians will be here soon,” he rumbled softly, and I trembled against his chest, my breath rattling unevenly in my lungs.

Deep down, I knew he was saying something important—something I would’ve agreed with if I were in a clearer state of mind.

But I wasn’t.

With the fog of unbearable lust clouding my senses, I was unable to process that I was this close to our mate but unable to be with him.

Goddess, couldn’t he tell how much I wanted him?

I couldn’t remember a time when I wasn’t consumed by my need for him.

I wanted to taste every inch of him. I wanted to kiss him until I forgot what life was without him. I wanted him inside me, on top of me, pinning me down as he had last night, only this time he’d go all the way. He’d take me hard, with his hand around my throat and?—

“Eleanor,” Alexander warned, his voice strained and his hold on me tighter than it had been a moment ago.

Sensing weakness, I rolled my hips against Alexander’s, and he stiffened. All of him.

I couldn’t stop myself. A rough gasp tore out of my throat as I undulated my hips against Alexander’s, my claws ripping into his shirt as I clung to him.

“Eleanor,” Alexander growled. “Stop.”

Maybe I would have listened if my common sense hadn’t been eroded by this all-consuming need for Alexander. If I didn’t hear the arousal threading through his words. If I didn’t see a longing that reflected mine in those stunning blue eyes.

Abandoning all traces of subtlety, I ground harder against him, his shirt tearing apart in my hands.

Meeting Alexander’s dark gaze, I spoke.

“I want you, Alexander.” I traced a finger down his face, unable to stop touching him. “I think I always have.”

I felt the razor-thin hold on Alexander’s control snap.

He fisted my hair and slammed his lips down on mine.

I opened up eagerly for him, my tongue meeting his in a dance of dominance that took my breath away.

Alexander’s kiss set me ablaze. It was everything I remembered from our only night together and more. It was wet, messy, desperate, hungry, feral, and blatantly sexual. It ferociously consumed me until I couldn’t tell where Alexander started and I began.

Alexander ended our kiss, leaving me breathless as he kissed his way from the crook of my neck to my throat. His hands stroked my body possessively, claiming every part of me as his.

My head fell back, a moan on my lips as I leaned into his kiss, his touch, his caress. My fingernails dug into his back and tugged him closer.

Alexander growled and tore off my shirt and bra, and then his lips were on me. His tongue moved over my nipples, sucking and teasing until my sanity hung by a loose thread.

I needed him. I needed him so bad it hurt.

I gasped and moaned as I rolled my hips against Alexander’s erection, my fingers buried in his hair to hold him against me.

Alexander’s hands stroked down my sides and cupped my ass, squeezing it as he rocked against me hungrily.

My breath came hard, my pulse racing so fast it was a miracle my heart hadn’t stopped. I panted desperately, my legs shaky as Alexander’s erection rubbed my clit through our clothes.

My body was a conduit of need as I lost myself to the sensations flooding my body.

Nothing in the world mattered except my hunger for Alexander. I didn’t care about how we’d ended up here. Our usual animosity was meaningless to me, and the water spilling over the sides of the bathtub with our every movement could flood the entire bathroom, for all I cared.

Nothing else mattered because Alexander was staring at me, his icy blue eyes filled with something other than disinterest, mockery, and disgust. They were filled with an emotion that made my heart race faster, and I felt something in the back of my mind shift, finally clicking into place.

Alexander’s hand flexed around the back of my neck, tugging me closer, and I instantly forgot about anything that wasn’t him.

If our first kiss had been fueled by blind desire, this was something else entirely.

It was languid, tender, almost affectionate…and it undid me.

But it only lasted for a moment. Alexander pulled away as the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps reached our ears.

Alexander’s arms tightened protectively around me as a shaky female voice spoke from his room.

“We’re here for the treatment, as per your summons,” she said deferentially.

I snarled, my territorial side surfacing.

Who was this female who was trying to steal my mate’s attention from me?

Alexander’s grip on me flexed, as if he was undecided, but then he let go of me. Startled, I reached for him. But even though we’d just been inches apart, he was already gone, those stunning blue eyes icing over again.

“Not like this,” Alexander whispered, and I wasn’t sure if he was speaking to me or himself.

“Alexander, please,” I begged, fear seizing me as Alexander seemed to drift away. “Don’t leave me.”

Alexander met my gaze, and the wall he always held up between us was firmly back in place.

“Tell me that when you aren’t being driven by your baser instincts,” he breathed. “I refuse to take advantage of you, Eleanor.”

Alexander was pushing me away.

I whimpered and reached out to him again, but he was faster. Scooping me into his arms like I was a child, he carefully carried me out of his bathtub.

I shivered uncontrollably, the temperature difference hitting me hard now that I wasn’t distracted by Alexander’s addictive kisses.

Alexander set me down just long enough to put me in a robe and wrap a towel around my wet hair.

Then he swept me back in his arms as he carried me into his room, where three female physicians waited for us.

I snarled at them when they got too close to Alexander and me.

Why had they interrupted us earlier? Were they trying to take away my mate?

I bared my canines at them.

Alexander was mine. Mine. Mine.

Alexander motioned for them to stay back, his arms steady around me as he carried me to his bed. Then, faster than I could register it, I felt a prick in my arm.

I looked from the syringe in Alexander’s hand to his stunning blue eyes, completely confused, and then a wave of dizziness hit me. My vision went hazy, and my body suddenly felt heavy.

“Alexander,” I rasped, reaching out for him, and his arms wrapped around me.

“It’s fine. I’m here,” he said.

I relaxed in Alexander’s embrace as my eyes began to flutter shut.

“She should feel better once she wakes up,” one of the physicians said.

“The other medication will…”

I was out.

I didn’t remember how long my heat lasted. My memories of it felt like a fever dream.

I wanted Alexander with every fiber of my being, but he never touched me like the first night of my heat.

He did other things, though.

He gave me medications that helped keep my pain at bay. He ran baths for me, helped me dress, and fed me even when I insisted all I needed was him, not food.

What I loved most was when he cuddled with me on his bed and told me stories that made me laugh so hard I was almost distracted from my desire for him.

Then, like all good things, it came to an end.

I woke up with a terrible headache in a cold bed. Half asleep, I rolled over, blindly searching for my mate, and?—

My eyes snapped open and I sat up abruptly, mortification flooding my veins.

I looked around me, my confusion growing.

This wasn’t my room. It was Alexander’s.

I covered my chest with the sheets around me, suddenly embarrassed beyond belief.

Why was I wearing a dress like this in Alexander’s bed, and for Goddess’s sake, why did I reek of him?

I’d no sooner thought those questions when disjointed memories of the last few days inundated my mind.

Memories that made my cheeks burn and my body tremble.

Surely I hadn’t done all that. Surely?—

The door suddenly opened and I tensed, expecting Alexander, but it was just Lily.

“Mistress!” She beamed. “You’re awake!”

I cleared my throat.

“Alexander,” I said, my voice cracked and raspy “Where’s Alexander?”

Lily’s smile fell, and my blood ran cold.

“He’s leading the Nightshade troops in the war against the Bloodfrost Pack.”