Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

ELEANOR

D uring a serious fight, there was rarely time to consider technique.

That’s why I circled right into West’s trap, the rays of sunlight momentarily rendering me blind.

That’s when he struck. Hitting me across my midsection, West moved like lightning, disarming me in a sliver of a second.

I grunted from the force of his blow and took a full step back.

West really wasn’t pulling any punches today.

That was fine, because neither was I.

I shifted, quickly taking advantage of his proximity to knee him in his side. West took the hit with a barely-there hiss of surprise and then spun, grabbing me in a chokehold.

Darkness hovered at the edges of my vision, but I didn’t give in just yet. I sucked in a deep breath and slammed my head back with all the strength I had, headbutting West in the nose.

West let out a soft curse and his hold on me eased slightly. That was all I needed to flip him onto his back, straddling him so my claws were at his throat, forcing his surrender. But West’s silver dagger was already poised right over my heart.

A tie.

My first today. West had beaten me the other four times we’d gone at each other.

We were at war, and this was the best I could do?

Letting out a sigh of frustration, I retracted my claws. West’s dagger vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared, an almost-proud smile on his face.

“That was amazing!” Seraphina cried, clapping hard, her eyes bright with excitement.

“How did you get so good in just two months?”

“You don’t need to flatter me, Seraphina,” I said, but I was smiling.

It felt good to have her unwavering encouragement, even if we both knew that despite my improvement, I’d never beat West in these past two months.

I stood and stretched, feeling the familiar burn in my body that usually followed a fight. Tomorrow was when the cramps would kick in if I didn’t stretch properly before bed.

Seraphina was at my side in seconds, a grin tugging at her cheeks.

“I don’t need to flatter you.” She smiled, slinging her arm across my shoulder. “I’m your favorite sister-in-law, after all.”

Considering that she was the only sister-in-law I was on speaking terms with, she had a point.

“Seraphina isn’t wrong,” West said. “You have improved a lot.”

I flushed with pride. For all his kindness, West was stingy with compliments.

“I have a great teacher,” I said, inclining my head slightly.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Seraphina gazing at West adoringly. West pretended not to notice, but the points of his ears reddened as he looked away shyly.

I barely held in my smile.

For two people who were insistent that they were only good friends and the past was firmly behind them, they sure didn’t act like it.

Both of them tensed, and from the way their eyes glossed over, I could tell they were listening to something through the pack link.

The pack link was like a door to a stream of consciousness that linked every member of a pack.

In the past, it’d been a valid means of communication, but in the current age, that skill had died out. Now, only certain individuals in a pack had enough authority to issue commands via the link.

I would have that connection if Alexander and I had?—

No, Eleanor. Don’t think about him.

Seraphina’s gaze cleared and she looked at me with worry in her eyes.

“A war assembly has been called.”

Dylan stood on the elevated platform, a severe expression on his face. Micah was at his side cradling her baby bump, with a superior expression on her face that’d become permanent since she’d revealed her pregnancy. The rest of the war council stood solidly behind them.

“Our troops hold steadfast against the Bloodfrost Pack, and our victory is on the horizon,” Dylan announced, his gaze unflinchingly hard.

The entire Nightshade Pack stood at rapt attention as he spoke, so quiet I could hear the sound of my breathing, but I knew we were all thinking the same thing.

Our victory had been “on the horizon” for months, but the Bloodfrost Pack was anything but weakened.

Ever since Dylan had revealed the Bloodfrost Pack was behind my attempted kidnapping and several other attacks on the pack, the war had commenced and everything had gone straight to hell.

“I know your mates, siblings, parents, and children fighting on the battlefield are missed, but we must remain steady as the support system they rely on.”

Micah shifted at Dylan’s words, facing the entirety of the pack head-on as she threaded her fingers through his. The alpha and luna of the Nightshade Pack were the depiction of strength and resilience in this trying time.

I almost rolled my eyes.

“Together,” Dylan said firmly, “we will bring an end to the war that has spanned centuries and claimed so many of our loved ones.”

Seraphina and West were silent, but the pack members around me began to cheer, if a little unenthusiastically. The war had been hard on everyone, and despite Dylan’s reassurances, there was no end in sight.

Dylan’s gaze found mine despite the fact that I was in the middle of a crowd. The look in his eyes reminded me of the last conversation we’d had, now over two months ago.

And how he’d begged me to choose him over Alexander.

I looked away, unwilling to think about that day, because that would mean thinking about the days that followed it.

The days when he was all I could think about…until he left. And even then, he was still all I could think about.

In the days following my heat, even with the pain gone, my fever broken, and my sanity restored, I’d missed Alexander so thoroughly that I couldn’t eat or sleep, much less speak to anyone. Apparently, that was an uncommon side effect of the heat remaining unconsummated, exacerbated by the absence of my mate.

By the time I recovered, Micah’s pregnancy had been announced.

The heir to the Nightshade Pack had been conceived.

The news was met with great celebration, even if it was slightly dampened by the oppressive air of the war. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but Micah had stopped bothering me, so I decided it was a win.

Dylan had also stayed away from me since then, although I often caught him staring at me.

With the war assembly over, the majority of the pack members drifted toward the stands, where the letters sent from the front lines were delivered.

I stood stiffly, refusing to approach the stands, refusing to accept the fact that I was waiting.

Waiting for a letter from Alexander.

Waiting for the officials to finally call my name for the first time in two months.

I hated the way my heart raced and my fingers trembled as the names were called out.

I hated the way I knew the exact amount of days it had been since I woke up in Alexander’s empty bed, holding nothing but the fragments of memories from my heat.

Seventy-two days.

It had been exactly seventy-two days since I’d fallen asleep in the warmth of Alexander’s embrace, only to wake up cold and alone.

Maybe my fixation was just a result of my many unanswered questions.

For example, how was it possible for me to go into heat when we weren’t true mates?

I would’ve known if he was my true mate from our very first meeting, and so would Alexander. If he had, he wouldn’t have tried to drown me.

Right?

But more importantly, I wanted to ask him why he’d stayed. Why had he taken care of me throughout my heat, and why had he adamantly refused to consummate our bond?

I still harbored a passionate dislike for Alexander, yet I couldn’t get him out of my head.

Especially my memories of those moments during my heat when he’d looked at me with softness in his eyes and acted like he cared.

That was why I was waiting like a fool.

Waiting on a letter from a wolf who probably wasn’t even thinking of the mate he’d never wanted when he had his best friend Anastasia fighting at his side.

I didn’t realize my palm was bleeding from my claws digging into it until Seraphina placed her hand over mine, an empathetic look in her eyes.

“Hey,” she said, her voice pitched low. “He’ll write to you soon. I know it.”

No, he wouldn’t.

The official had finished calling out the names and once again, there was no letter for me.

“It doesn’t matter.” I shrugged.

It wasn’t like I cared if he wrote to me or not.

“Of course it does.” Seraphina shook her head. “You’re mates, Eleanor. I know my brother has many flaws, but he’d never hurt his mate like this.”

But Seraphina didn’t know that Alexander had never seen me as his mate.

I pulled my hand out of Seraphina’s grasp, annoyed at the riot of emotions swirling inside me just because I hadn’t gotten a silly letter from a sillier wolf.

“I’m going for a run,” I said curtly. “I’ll see both of you later.”

I didn’t wait for Seraphina or West to respond before I headed out, eager to put Alexander out of my mind.

I ran in human form. Lara was too unstable these days for me to risk letting her out. Only our routine training with West kept her grounded since Alexander’s departure. She wanted her mate back with an intensity that scared me sometimes.

I ran until I didn’t feel like screaming. Then, I headed home.

I told myself that tonight, I wouldn’t let Lara sleepwalk us into Alexander’s empty bed.

Even I was ashamed of my wolf’s desperation at this point.

Each morning, I woke up in Alexander’s bed even though I’d tucked myself into my own bed the night before. In those first moments of wakefulness, when I found myself searching for a trace of his scent, I hated Lara.

I was almost out of the woods near Alexander’s residence when I saw Dylan.

He bent over and picked up a brown envelope lying on the staircase at the entrance to the house.

I froze.

That was the kind of envelope the war letters always came in. Dylan straightened, and as the fading rays of sunlight hit the envelope, I saw the name emblazoned on it.

Eleanor.

Alexander had sent me a letter.

I stepped out of the woods, my anger crackling like a wildfire within me.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I demanded.

Dylan turned to face me, surprise flashing across his face before disappearing as quickly as it had appeared.

“Eleanor.”

I looked from him to the brown envelope in his hands, something clicking as I registered how smoothly he’d taken it.

“How long have you been doing that?” I asked, my certainty only growing when Dylan couldn’t meet my gaze.

My anger overflowed into red-hot fury.

“Answer me!” I shouted.

Dylan’s expression didn’t change.

“My brother doesn’t care for you,” he said evenly.

All this time, I’d been driving myself insane with the thought that my memories had played a trick on me, exaggerating what had happened during my heat.

I’d started to think I was dreaming that Alexander held me and comforted me through my pains. And all that time, Dylan had been stealing Alexander’s letters.

“You had no right to steal my letters,” I growled, taking a threatening step toward him. “He’s my mate. He’s your brother, and he’s fighting your war.”

Dylan’s gaze darkened, and his next words were filled with his alpha authority.

“Watch your tone,” he snarled. “Alexander is fighting for his pack, as all loyal wolves should.”

After being caught red-handed, how could Dylan still be so shameless?

“Incredible,” I said bitterly. “What else could I have expected from someone like you?”

For all his flaws, I’d believed Dylan was redeemable, that he was a victim of circumstances that had spun out of our control too quickly.

I’d been wrong.

I reached out to grab the letter, but Dylan lifted his hand, holding it just out of my reach.

I’d never hated my petite stature more than I did at that moment.

“Hand it over, Dylan.”

But he didn’t.

Faster than I could blink, Dylan ripped the letter into shreds.

A gasp of disbelief left my lips, followed by a fresh wave of anger.

“You fucking jerk!” I snarled. I launched myself at Dylan as the pieces of Alexander’s letter still fluttered in the wind.

I landed two punches on his face.

Feeling Dylan’s nose break beneath my fist did nothing to assuage my rage.

I raised my hand to hit him a third time, but the element of surprise was gone. Dylan caught my hand and twisted my wrist behind my back, tugging me against him.

Then I heard his voice in my ear.

“Do you have feelings for him?” Dylan asked, his voice soft with vulnerability.

His hold was sloppy compared to West’s, so I had no problem breaking out of it. I quickly stepped back, putting enough space between us so Dylan couldn’t grab me again.

Ignoring the look of surprise on Dylan’s face, I lashed out at him.

“What does that matter? For the Goddess’s sake, Dylan, your mate is pregnant.”

Dylan flinched, looking away momentarily.

“The consequence of the mistake I made that night,” he said hoarsely, his face tight with remorse.

Then he raised his eyes to meet mine and took a step toward me, seeming almost entranced.

“But you’re all I can think about, Eleanor.”

I took a step back, disconcerted by the frankness in Dylan’s gaze.

“Dylan,” I said. “You can’t say that.”

Dylan took another step toward me.

“Just answer me,” he pushed. “Do you care for him?”

For a minute, I considered his question.

Did I care for Alexander?

I…I wasn’t sure.

I knew I wanted to read his letter. I knew his scent inexplicably calmed me. I knew even though I was trying to forget his kindness during my heat, I yearned for his touch.

But I didn’t know how much of my wants were a residual of the heat. How much of them were Lara’s unstable emotions or the effect of the mate bond? Were any of these feelings truly mine?

Lost in my thoughts of Alexander, I didn’t realize when Dylan closed the space between us, his expression impossibly soft as he lifted his hand to cradle my cheek.

“I need you to push me away, Eleanor,” he whispered. “I don’t know how to do it myself.”

His voice broke, and maybe if Dylan hadn’t hurt me so much, I might have felt pity for him.

But I didn’t.

I shoved him away.

“Don’t come back here,” I spat out. “If you intercept another message from Alexander, I’ll never forgive you.”

Turning on my heels, I stalked inside the house.

After exchanging greetings with Lily, I headed straight to my room.

When I took off my jacket, a few pieces of paper fluttered to the ground.

Fragments of the envelope and Alexander’s letter.

I reached for the pieces before I was fully aware of what I was doing. Out of the four pieces of paper, only one was big enough to have more than a few letters written on it.

It held two words in the loopiest handwriting I’d ever seen.

Little rabbit , it read.

I clutched that piece of paper for longer than I should have before a laugh finally escaped me.

Classic Alexander.

Of course, he’d include a taunt in his letter to me.

Messages from the battlefield claimed that Alexander was fine, but I didn’t realize how much I hadn’t believed it until I read those words.

He was fine. Goddess, he was fine.

I felt my eyes burn. Confused, I touched my cheek, surprised by the moisture on my fingers.

Was I crying?

No.

I must’ve gotten something irritating into my eyes.

Yes, that was it, because there was no way I was so concerned about Alexander’s well-being that I was crying over two words in his handwriting.

Tossing the paper away and pushing Alexander from my mind, I headed for my shower.

Minutes after I exited the bathroom, a note was delivered to my door.

It was a short note from Dylan. I could recognize his handwriting, but even if I couldn’t, the contents of the note made it obvious who it was from.

I’ll give you the rest of his letters, but we need to talk, it read.

Beneath that was the time and location for our proposed meeting.

It was the brook by the northeastern border of the Nightshade Pack.

It was also an area Dylan frequently patrolled.

Due to the current situation in the pack, we had fewer wolves to guard the borders compared to normal, and while the alpha of the pack couldn’t just ride off to battle and stay there, especially with a child on the way, he could supplement the night patrols and do check-ins.

I considered the note.

The last thing I wanted was to meet up with Dylan at night, but could I really pass up on a chance to read Alexander’s letters?

By the time night fell, I knew my answer to that question.

I felt naked without any of the weapons I’d started carrying since I’d begun training with West, so I swiped my silver daggers before I headed out.

But Dylan wasn’t waiting at the brook. No one was.

Apart from the sound of running water, the brook and the surrounding woods were uncharacteristically quiet.

I frowned, slowly drawing on Lara’s wolf senses to assess the area as I moved toward the muster point for the northeast night patrol.

It was still quiet, although now I felt a strange tension in the air.

Why couldn’t I hear the wolves who were supposed to be patrolling nearby? Were they?—

I barely darted away in time to avoid the slashing claws of a massive rogue who’d lunged at me from where the patrol should’ve been.

I straightened, preparing to attack, only to freeze when I noticed there was more than one of them.

Growls and snarls filled the air as seven rogues surrounded me.

I palmed my two silver daggers and settled into a fighting stance.

Taking down two rogues on my own would have been difficult enough. But seven? That was impossible.

The rogue in front of me bared its teeth, saliva dripping down its mangled fur.

I bared my canines right back at him.

Even if it was hopeless, I’d never go down without a fight. If I was dying, I’d take at least a few of them with me.

I launched myself at the first rogue.