Library

Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

ALEXANDER

“ Y ou were reckless yesterday,” Anastasia commented too casually as she slid me a glass of water before taking her seat next to me at the dining table.

The medicine slid down easier than my frustration.

I should have been at the training grounds working off my anger and pummeling whoever was unfortunate enough to spar with me, but after that conversation with Eleanor, I couldn’t focus. When Anastasia came by to give me an update, it’d been a welcome distraction.

If only I’d been able to control myself the night before.

I turned to face Anastasia.

“I told you to keep an eye on Micah.”

It wasn’t much of an accusation. None of us could have foreseen what occurred yesterday.

Anastasia tilted her head to the side, her hair falling over her shoulder.

“It’s hard to do that when I’m worrying about you,” she said softly, reaching out to check my temperature.

I stood up before her hand reached me. I knew Anastasia was just checking if my fever had returned, but there was only one person’s touch I wanted, and she wasn’t here.

Anastasia’s hand fell back to her side and her eyes fell to the floor, but not before I saw a flicker of pain in them.

“Is there any information on the treaty?” I asked, moving to the main subject of our meeting.

Anastasia rapped her fingers against the hardwood table.

“Dylan just got there. Give him time.” Her eyes settled on me. “Besides, you know Gregory and the rest of the Bloodfrost Pack only agreed to the truce because you proposed it.”

I didn’t like the sound of that.

The treaty with the Bloodfrost Pack would never have been possible if Gregory’s father hadn’t passed a year ago.

New to his position like Dylan, Gregory was eager to prove himself, but he wasn’t stupid. He didn’t want to risk standing against me in battle, so he’d agreed to the treaty.

But he was still an egotistical alpha, and if by chance he sniffed out any weakness in Dylan, the alliance would be fried.

“I should be there with him.” I sighed.

I would have gone if I hadn’t had to get the medications yesterday…if my body wasn’t betraying me.

Distracted by my thoughts, I failed to notice Anastasia sidling up to my side.

“Then let’s go. Both of us,” she whispered, her eyes glistening with emotion as she slid her hand into mine. “Just how we used to do.”

The last time we’d been this close was in my receiving room, when Eleanor had seen us together during the party.

The migraine had come out of nowhere.

Falling into old patterns, Anastasia had escorted me back to my receiving room. When she came onto me afterwards, I’d let her know Eleanor was watching.

I needed to push her away, and Anastasia had given me ample opportunity. Once Eleanor left, I’d pulled away from her immediately, and Anastasia had stared at me like she barely knew me.

That incident still hovered between us, even if Anastasia never brought it up.

It was one of the things I liked about her—her ability to remain rational regardless of the situation.

Unlike a certain someone who was so emotionally volatile she had no problem attempting to slap some sense into me.

I found myself stifling a smile. My fierce little rabbit.

I pulled my hand free from Anastasia’s hold.

“I have some things to get to. Let’s catch up later,” I told her. I turned to leave, but Anastasia embraced me from behind.

I paused out of confusion more than anything else. Anastasia always played a subtle hand and whenever I declined her advances, she pulled away graciously, with her head held high.

Something had changed.

“Anastasia.”

She held onto me tighter and buried her head against my back.

“I feel like you’re leaving me.” Her voice was tight and shaky. “I can’t lose you, Alexander.”

I’d hurt another important person today.

The tremor in her voice took me back to my conversation with Eleanor, and her unshakable faith in me that I didn’t deserve.

I tried to push Eleanor from my mind and focus on the present, but my thoughts refused to cooperate.

Would Eleanor ever forgive me? Did I even deserve her forgiveness?

I turned, my mind in a marshy haze that should have set off alarm bells—but Eleanor was standing right in front of me.

Her forest-green eyes glistened with tears, her blond hair a golden halo framing her cherubic features.

“Eleanor,” I rasped, reaching out to cup her cheek and wipe away her tears, ignoring the voice inside me that said something was wrong here.

Her expression shifted, but before I could overthink it, she pressed her lips to mine.

Her lips were soft, but I couldn’t shake the sense of unease that gripped me.

I pulled away, ending the kiss at the exact moment I heard a crash from the doorway of my home.

I raised my eyes, and there was Eleanor in her fighting leathers, her blond hair pulled back into a ponytail. Her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment and pain glistened in her beautiful eyes.

I looked down at the person I held—the person I’d kissed—and Anastasia stared right back at me.

I looked back up at Eleanor, but she was already gone. The only evidence she’d been there was the broken vase at the doorstep.

Anastasia slipped her hand up my shirt, seemingly not caring about what had just happened, a purr on her lips.

I looked at the half-empty glass of water that Anastasia had given me, the haze in my mind rapidly dissipating.

“Alexander,” Anastasia rasped, pressing her lips to the hollow of my throat.

Or at least she would have, if I hadn’t yanked her hand off my chest and pulled her into a chokehold.

“A-Alexander.” Anastasia sputtered, her hand slapping at my arm as she struggled to breathe.

“You drugged me.” I wasn’t asking a question.

I’d noticed the strange taste, but I’d attributed it to the change in the dose of the medication. Of course I had. Why the fuck would I suspect my friend would drug me?

Anastasia’s struggle lessened, and I caught the tangy scent of guilt drifting off her.

I’d trusted Anastasia, and she’d broken that trust.

I let go of her and she fell to the ground, her hand on her throat as she desperately sucked in air.

“I hope it was worth it,” I said, feeling more pain than betrayal. I’d lost a good friend today. How much more would I lose before all this was over? “From this moment forward, you will no longer have access to my home or my life.”

Anastasia’s eyes widened.

“You can’t do that,” she gasped.

I lifted an eyebrow, barely reining in my temper.

“I can’t?”

Tears spilled down Anastasia’s cheeks.

“I know I was wrong, but you can’t cut me out, Alexander. Not with everything we’ve been through.”

Anastasia should’ve known better. She, of all people, knew I didn’t condone betrayal.

If someone else had attempted to drug or poison me, I would’ve gutted them where they stood and left their corpse in the wild for rogues to feast on.

But this was Anastasia, the wolf who’d been at my side as far back as I could remember.

I crouched to her height, meeting her gaze without an ounce of mercy.

“Everything we’ve shared is in the past. The memory of that past is the only reason I’m letting you keep your head.”

Tears still flowed down her cheeks.

“What we shared is in the past?” she rasped, her voice a broken shadow of itself. “Your love story with Eleanor can’t lead to happiness for either of you.”

I was painfully aware of that. It was the bane of my existence.

I turned my back on Anastasia as I spoke.

“There’s no love between Eleanor and I.”

Anastasia laughed, and it was a harsh sound devoid of any warmth.

“I wish you weren’t such a terrible liar, Alexander.”

I kept walking.

My first instinct was to go after Eleanor, to grovel and beg for her forgiveness—not just for the kiss, but for everything.

I subdued those instincts.

The kiss was a result of me being drugged, but it had worked out for the best.

Combined with what I’d said earlier, this was guaranteed to push Eleanor away for good.

I thought of the hurt in her eyes, and my resolve wavered.

No . I had to do this.

I headed out, but not toward the training grounds, where I could potentially bump into her. No, I went on a run.

I ran intending to exhaust myself. That would help subdue silly thoughts like tracking down Eleanor to make sure she wasn’t still crying.

I needed my actions to incite her anger, rather than pain.

I was on my fifth or sixth lap around the woods when she stepped out of the tree line, her hand cradling her protruding belly as she shuffled toward me.

“You’re a monster.” Micah’s eyes were as wide as saucers as she stared at me. “The rumors were true.”

“Luna Micah,” I said, her title rolling awkwardly off my lips. “What a pleasant surprise.”

The monster stirred restlessly inside me when he recognized the wolf whose plots had almost cost us Eleanor’s life. He clamored for her death, but I ignored him.

I had done many morally questionable things in my life, but even I had limits. A pregnant wolf who couldn’t even shift to defend herself was one of them.

The monster had no such qualms. Micah had tried to kill Eleanor. If we left her alive, she would attempt it again.

I pushed down the monster’s urges as Micah’s grating tone reached me again.

“The last time I saw you, you barely had any skin left on your back, but less than a day later, you’re fine.” She gaped at me. “Only a monster could’ve recovered so fast.”

Oh.

So that was what she was going on about.

She hadn’t come here to apologize for her wrongdoings; no, she’d come to see if I was truly healed, probably fearing retribution…to see if I was truly the dark alpha.

I felt a small pang of pity for Dylan for being mated to such a female.

I met her inquiring gaze with a raised eyebrow.

“There’s only one monster here, and it isn't me,” I lied.

Micah’s eyebrows furrowed, annoyance evident in her gaze.

“I let your mate live even after she tried to kill me and my unborn child,” she retorted, her voice carrying an unspoken threat. “You owe me.”

She could easily take back her favor and order Eleanor’s execution as per the laws of the Nightshade Pack.

The monster took this moment to remind me of how close to death Eleanor had been when I returned from the war, and how this woman had been behind it.

“I agree. I do owe you.” I nodded. “And I intend to repay your debt in full.”

Micah couldn’t have looked more surprised if she’d tried.

I met her gaze, letting her see I meant every word.

“No one tries to kill my mate twice and gets away with it.”

Micah stood still for a moment, and then she laughed, false bravado settling on her shoulders.

“I’m your brother’s mate, and the mother of his heir. You can’t hurt me.”

Was that what she thought?

How quaint.

The only thing keeping me from giving in to the monster’s violent tendencies was the consequences.

It would force Dylan to duel with me in retaliation for the loss of his mate and heir. If Dylan and I dueled to the death, the monster would take over and I would kill him.

Tilting my head to the side, I regarded Micah curiously.

“My brother is young. He will have many chances to create more heirs.”

Micah froze, the scent of her fear filling the air.

Maybe it was because, instinctively, she knew how easy it would be for me to kill her here.

The monster grasped at straws to rationalize killing Micah. We could kill her and offer her body as a peace offering to our mate as an apology for our earlier mistakes.

I rolled my eyes. Somehow I didn’t think Eleanor would appreciate a corpse as a peace offering.

I missed the serenity of the night before, when the monster had been lulled into silence by Eleanor’s touch. I walked by a still-frozen Micah.

Stopping right next to her, I made a promise.

“If you attempt to hurt my mate again, I will show you in great detail how expendable you are as Dylan’s mate and mother of his heir.”

I headed home before I gave in to my growing temptation to rip Micah to shreds.

When I entered my room, Eleanor was sitting at the edge of my bed…waiting.

She raised her head at the sound of my entry, those emerald green eyes locking onto mine.

Seeing her there did something to me—something that took my breath away and restarted my thought process.

Her emotions seeped through the mental walls I’d erected between us to restrict the effects of our completed mate bond.

Eleanor’s emotions were a cresting wave of pain that threatened to unravel me: hurt, betrayal, doubt, confusion, and…a fragment of hope. She was still trying to believe the best of me, even after I put her through all this.

Tears burned in my eyes, but I had too much control to let them fall.

I hated myself. I hated our situation. I hated all of it.

I turned away from her, purposefully ignoring her as I headed toward my bathroom, pulling off my shirt.

I heard a sharp intake of breath from Eleanor, and then she was right next to me, ripping my shirt out of my hands and forcing me to face her.

“Aren’t you even going to try explaining yourself?” she asked, a thread of anger igniting in her gaze.

Anger was good. It was far better than seeing Eleanor in pain.

“Why would I do that?” I shrugged flippantly.

The anger in her gaze flared brighter.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Eleanor hissed. “Maybe because we’re mates and I just caught you kissing another woman?”

I lifted an eyebrow, still wearing my mask of cool indifference.

“I don’t understand why you’re still going on about that. Both of us have already agreed that we aren’t truly mates.”

Eleanor’s hands formed fists at her sides and her eyes fluttered shut, as if she was trying to restrain herself from doing me grievous bodily harm.

When those emerald eyes opened again, Eleanor’s anger was gone, and only painfully honest vulnerability was left.

“I want to trust you, Alexander. I want to understand you,” she said evenly, placing her hand over mine. “I want to be here for you as your mate, but I can’t do that if you keep pushing me away.”

Unlike Anastasia’s touch, which had been uncomfortable, I wanted nothing more than to hold Eleanor’s hand, embrace her, and forget about everything keeping us apart. But since when had what I wanted mattered?

I flung her hand away from mine.

“I don’t want you at my side,” I snapped.

Leave, Eleanor. Please.

Eleanor didn’t budge. Her eyes still silently pleaded with me to let her in.

“I don’t believe you,” she said.

I gripped her arm tight, ignoring her wince of pain and her attempts to break free of my hold.

“There you go again, thinking I’m some sort of saint,” I jeered, a smirk on my face. “No matter what you believe, Eleanor, it doesn’t change the very simple fact that I. Don’t. Want. You.”

Eleanor’s fierce gaze burned into me as she refused to back down, but I could feel the tremble that worked its way through her at my words.

It wasn’t enough.

I needed to push her far enough that she would never forgive me. That was the only path she could take.

Please forgive me. No. Don’t forgive me. Ever.

Tightening my hold on her enough that I knew it would leave bruises, I tried again.

“I will take whatever female I want to my bed to satisfy my desires. It could be Anastasia or anyone else I don’t find as repulsive as you, and I won’t hear a single complaint from you.”

I felt Eleanor break.

She raised her hand to hit me, but I caught her wrist with my free hand, easily restraining her.

“You asshole,” Eleanor seethed, and there was no hope left in her gaze, only anger. Her fury coursed through our mate bond like a wildfire. “You don’t deserve me.”

On that, we could both agree.

Yes. You deserve better, Eleanor.

So why did this hurt so damn much?

Comments

0 Comments
Best Newest

Contents
Settings
  • T
  • T
  • T
  • T
Font

Welcome to FullEpub

Create or log into your account to access terrific novels and protect your data

Don’t Have an account?
Click above to create an account.

lf you continue, you are agreeing to the
Terms Of Use and Privacy Policy.