Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

ALEXANDER

F ragments of memories drifted in and out of my mind.

The sensation of Eleanor’s silky hair slipping through my fingers, the sublime heat of her lips on mine, the fire in her emerald eyes as she came apart in my arms.

My brother’s mate had threatened the life of the person who was most important to me. She’d have to die for that, but first, I needed to regain control of my thoughts and my body.

I should have been as far away as possible from Eleanor in this volatile state, but my mind was so messed up that I couldn’t make myself pull on a change of clothes and leave.

I’d drawn too much from the part of me I’d sworn off, and now I had to face the consequences.

It was no longer a question of if I would break, but when.

My bed dipped and when my eyes flashed open, Eleanor was sitting next to me, a first aid kit in her hands.

I bolted to my feet and put as much distance between us as I could.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I growled.

I saw Eleanor flinch at the viciousness in my tone, even though her expression straightened out almost immediately. There was no sign of her earlier tears.

“You refused to send for the physicians,” she said dryly. Then, with steady hands, she began to unpack the first aid kit.

“Don’t bother,” I bit out, fighting the irrational urge to close the distance between us and bury my nose in her nape to reassure myself that she was fine.

Even though it had been an emergency, I shouldn’t have left her defenseless and alone.

Eleanor pulled out the bandages as if she couldn’t hear me. She didn’t realize that the one in danger here wasn’t me…it was her.

A regular wolf would’ve died or had to recover for weeks from that sort of torture.

Not me.

In a matter of minutes, I was almost completely healed. The only evidence of my wounds was my torn-up, bloodied clothes.

I tasted bitterness at the back of my throat. If I’d been a regular wolf then maybe we could have…no.

There was no use dwelling on impossibilities.

I needed to get Eleanor out of here before I made a mistake both of us would regret.

“Eleanor,” I snapped, my voice hard as granite. “Get out of my room.”

But her intoxicating scent was already clouding my senses, thinning my control.

Eleanor didn’t leave.

Instead, she closed the distance between us, fiery anger blooming in her eyes, her hands on her hips as she glared up at me.

“You’re hurt, Alexander.” She blew out an irritated breath. “I don’t care if you want my help or not; you’re getting it either way.”

Eleanor reached for my shirt, but before she could make contact, I caught her wrist.

Eleanor tried and failed to tug her wrist out of my grip.

Desire bloomed dark and heavy within me at that single touch. I wanted to tug her into my arms, rip off her clothes, and ensure she was fine. Every inch of her. Then I would bend her over on all fours and?—

“Alexander.” She let out a huff of frustration. “Stop being so stubb?—”

I let go of her wrist, shoving her away from me and pushing down those dark thoughts, my words tearing out of me in an angry snarl.

“I said get out! How many times do I have to push you away before you finally understand I can’t stand you?”

Eleanor caught herself on my bedframe. When she straightened and met my gaze, there was something fragile and breakable in her eyes.

“Your brother’s whore…is that truly how you see me?” she asked, her voice heavy with emotion I didn’t want to decipher. “So much so that you’d rather bleed out than let me help you?”

Eleanor had no idea what she did to me.

Her presence alone drove me insane. She made me want to forget all my convictions.

But I didn’t tell her that. I just stayed silent.

Eleanor rocked back slightly, as though my silence was an answer in and of itself.

When those emerald eyes met mine again, they glistened with unshed tears.

I’d hurt her.

“You shouldn’t have taken my punishment earlier,” Eleanor said haltingly, a tremor in her voice. “You should have let me get mated to Dylan.”

Eleanor turned away from me, but not before I saw the tears streak down her cheeks. I began to reach out to her, but I reined myself in.

This was how it had to be. This was?—

In her hurry to get away from me, blinded by her tears, Eleanor tripped. Instinctively, I caught her, my arm snaking around her waist.

It was a mistake.

From that one touch, everything unraveled. Eleanor’s scent flooding my senses, the addictive feeling of her skin against mine, the soft gasp falling from those perfect lips—every detail was a heady aphrodisiac that made me crave her.

Eleanor pushed against my hold, tears still spilling down her rosy cheeks.

“Let me go,” she demanded, but I couldn’t.

Lost to my desires, I could do nothing but grab the back of her neck, thread my fingers through her hair, and kiss her like I’d been wanting to for months.

Eleanor was still for a moment, so still that I could taste her confusion, and then she melted against me, her lips parting.

Eleanor’s kiss was tentative at first, but her urgency built by the second, her lips pliant and supple beneath mine as she offered them to me. I sucked on her tongue, unable to recall why I’d tried to fight our attraction.

One hand in her hair guided the trajectory of our kiss while the other raked down Eleanor’s back, cupping her ass and pulling her even closer to me, unable to stop touching her as our kiss deepened.

Eleanor shuddered into my touch, her hips rocking against mine, my lips swallowing every moan that left her. My pulse thrummed within me, desire for Eleanor overriding my every thought, every impulse, consuming me completely and?—

Eleanor pulled away, suddenly ending our kiss.

“Alexander.” Her gaze was dark and bewildered as her breath came hard and fast, her lips just inches from mine. “What are you doing?”

Losing control. Unraveling. Untethering. Those were words I might have used if I’d enough presence of mind to speak.

Instead, I tightened my hand on her neck, pressed my finger against her racing pulse, and tugged Eleanor forward to reclaim her lips.

Her lips parted eagerly beneath mine this time, no longer uncertain. This kiss was rougher, wetter, and messier than the last, our tongues sliding against each other in a battle for dominance.

Eleanor’s hands went to my chest, but she didn’t push me away.

Not even when my lips left hers to explore every inch of her skin that I could. I traveled to her chin, to the hollow of her throat, to the spot on her neck where our mating mark lay.

Eleanor stiffened and tipped her head slightly to the side, baring more of her neck to me, her back arched and a low moan escaping her.

“Alexander, please,” she begged, her voice husky.

I didn’t know if it was a plea to continue or to stop.

I wasn’t sure if even she knew.

I kissed my way around the mark, sucking, biting, and teasing, rewarded by soft gasps and moans from Eleanor.

“I couldn’t let you get mated to Dylan,” I confessed, my words barely above a growl. “You’re mine. You always have been.”

Eleanor paused, her fingers sliding through my hair to lightly tug my head away from her nape so I could meet her gaze.

She’d never looked more stunning, her cheeks flushed red with arousal, her dark blond hair mussed and framing those beautiful green eyes that were fixed on me as her lips parted slightly in disbelief.

“Alexander,” she whispered, and if I had any doubts about Eleanor being as far gone as I was, they were cleared.

I wanted— needed —to hear her say my name just like that, over and over again.

Cupping her cheek, I traced my finger over the edge of her lips.

“You make me want things I have no business wanting, Eleanor.”

Things that could ruin everything. Things I’d already accepted I could never have, but somehow, when she was here, next to me…I wanted to believe it could be different.

She’d ruined me for anyone else from our first kiss, and I didn’t have the fortitude to hold back anymore.

Eleanor swallowed and bit her lower lip. It shouldn’t have looked as endearing and unbelievably hot as it did.

Easing my finger between her lips, I tugged her lower lip free and sealed my lips over hers.

I explored her mouth thoroughly, a groan escaping me when her tongue brushed against mine, following my lead and giving in to me.

I needed her on my bed, immediately.

I lifted her off the ground, and Eleanor’s legs wrapped around my waist instinctively. Then she froze with her hands on my shoulders.

“Your back,” she gasped, trying to scramble off me, but I never gave her the chance.

Tossing her onto my bed, I whipped off the remnants of my bloody shirt.

Eleanor sucked in a shocked breath at the sight of my unmarred skin, and then I was on her, settling between her parted thighs.

Leaning over her, I tore off her clothes with a swipe of my claws, and her breasts were bared to me. I lowered my mouth to her left breast, sucking on her nipple while the fingers of my other hand twisted and pinched at her other nipple.

Eleanor’s breathing grew more labored, her restraint gone now that she knew I wasn’t injured.

Her fingernails dug into the skin of my back as she rolled her hips shamelessly against my thigh.

Perceiving the scent of her wet arousal and feeling her desire as though it were my own, it took everything in me not to take her at that very moment.

I intended to savor this moment—from that first kiss to the moment she gave in fully to my ministrations—every second of it.

Eleanor could have cared less.

Palming my erection through my pants, she reached for my belt buckle. I caught her wrists before she could reach it, pinning them above her head as I moved away the thigh she’d been grinding on, leaving her immobile and frustrated.

“I’ll fuck you once you earn it, and not a moment before,” I informed her.

Belligerence ignited in the depths of those emerald-green eyes, but she didn’t say anything. She just bucked her hips up silently, urging me to take her, her arousal a wet patch on her pants.

A growl left my lips, and before I was fully aware of what I was doing, I ripped off her pants, baring her to me.

Fuck.

She was so wet her inner thighs were drenched.

I slid my hand along her opening, coating my fingers in her arousal, and Eleanor’s back arched off the bed and farther into my hand. Keeping my eyes on her green ones, I shoved my fingers inside her.

Eleanor bucked, taking me beautifully, a gasp on her lips as I touched her.

“Touched” wasn’t the right word.

I fucked her with my fingers, my thumb on her clit as I brought her close to orgasm, but never let her finish.

Our room was silent save for the panting, groans, moans, and the obscene wet noises from my fingers thrusting into Eleanor.

She spread her legs wider, silently urging me deeper. I curled my fingers within her and she jumped, nearly dislodging them, but I slid back in.

Eleanor tried and failed to tug her trapped hands from my grasp, her hips moving against my fingers greedily.

“Alexander, please,” she begged. “I need you.”

The sound of her voice, so urgent and throaty, did something to me. Something that triggered the most feral part of me that wanted to mount his mate and show her that I was the only one for her.

I was hard, so fucking hard that it hurt not to be inside her, but I couldn’t end this without tasting her.

I retracted my fingers and let go of Eleanor’s hands. Eleanor let out a gasp of complaint that I immediately choked off when I pushed her legs open and kissed my way down her body.

Eleanor’s entire body tensed beneath mine, her nails digging into the sheets when my lips touched her.

Eleanor tasted divine. She was warm and wet, her hips undulating against my lips, bucking and shivering as I explored her.

I worked my tongue over her clit, ignoring the loud whimper that escaped Eleanor.

Watching how Eleanor’s body reacted to every action, I changed my rhythm and my patterns, learning what she liked and what made her delectable body arch right off the bed. I lapped up her slickness from her entrance to her clit, devouring her, edging her to the brink of an orgasm, then backing off before taking her right back to the brink.

Eleanor’s body fluttered around me, her body slick with sweat and arousal, her hands reaching for mine, our fingers interlocking as those green eyes met mine.

In her gaze, I was lost. In her gaze, I saw everything I wanted, everything we could have had, and everything we were going to lose.

Three words bubbled up inside of me. Three words that I knew were true, but I’d never let them out, no matter how far gone I was.

So instead of saying anything, I straightened, taking off my pants before hooking Eleanor’s leg over mine and slamming my lips desperately back on hers, as if that would take the place of those three words.

Eleanor’s hands went around my neck and she kissed me with even more ferocity, her hips grinding against my erection in a way that made my need for her skyrocket.

Reaching between our bodies, I fisted my cock and slid it against her, coating it with her arousal.

Eleanor shuddered, her hand on my arm and her gaze on mine as I entered her.

Even though Eleanor was literally dripping with arousal, her pussy was snug around me—almost painfully so, as her entire body tensed up as I pushed into her.

I paused to give her time to adjust, but Eleanor was having none of it. With a movement of her hips that almost had me at the brink of orgasm, she pressed the soft curves of her skin against mine and ushered me in.

It took us several seconds, but I slid into her fully. Finally.

Eleanor’s eyes were closed, her lips parted as her walls fluttered around me, gripping me tight.

Eleanor’s eyes flew open like she could feel my gaze on her. Her hand reached out to cradle my cheek, her thumb stroking my skin as if I was a child in need of comfort.

I leaned into her touch, my eyes falling shut. When we kissed this time, it was so soft and careful that I knew I was in trouble. I could hear the warning bells ringing, but I ignored them all. How could I not, when I was inside her?

The tenderness of our kiss slowly faded away, and all that was left was our pure, unbridled desire for each other.

I thrust into Eleanor, my movements rough and unrelenting, pounding into her with an urgency that matched the darkness in her eyes.

Being inside her felt so good, even better than our first time together.

Eleanor’s hips undulated beneath mine, her walls clenching and unclenching around me, her barely stifled gasps in my ear as her body clung desperately to mine.

Pushing her legs forward onto her chest, I sank deeper into her, and a groan left me at the resulting sensations.

I fucked her harder and faster, unable to control myself with Eleanor’s uncontrollable writhing. Her head jerked to the side as she panted against my sheets, her face contorted with pleasure.

She was close. I could feel it in the intensifying movements between us. Tension coiled in my body like a rubber band pulled to the edge of snapping, drawing us closer and closer to oblivion.

We unraveled together, our hips rocking together in perfect tempo, Eleanor’s legs lifting to encircle my back as desperation, passion, and hunger nipped at our heels.

I kissed her lips and the hollow of her throat, my teeth nipped at her shoulder, and my tongue traced patterns on her skin before returning to her lips.

My thrusts grew sloppier, harder, and faster, and Eleanor’s hips rose to meet mine every step of the way.

Then the dam broke and she came with a scream of pleasure, trembling and breathless as she tightened around me so much so that her orgasm triggered mine, shockwaves of bliss pulsating through my body as I came inside her.

Waves of ecstasy washed everything else away, leaving only the raw connection between us as our mate bond clicked fully into place.

I was fully connected to Eleanor in a way we hadn’t been before, and that was the moment when I realized the gravity of this mistake.

I should have pulled away then, but Eleanor stared at me with stars in her eyes and a soft smile tugging at her lips, and I folded.

Gathering her into my arms, I planted a kiss on her forehead.

I’d never felt more at peace as I did in those hours when I held Eleanor as she slept, her scent permanently entwined with mine, her hair splayed across my chest and her arms wrapped around me. But I couldn’t sleep.

I knew what came next…how I had to hurt her.

“I hope you can forgive me,” I whispered, stroking her hair away from her beautiful face.

Could she ever forgive me for this? For leading her on once more? For giving her hope for what could never truly exist between us?

“I need you to be happy forever and I…I can’t give you forever.”

That was the one thing Dylan could give her that I couldn’t.

She was right.

I should have let her get mated to him.