17. Alexander

Chapter 17

Alexander

E arly the next morning, I drive over to the Federov house. I texted Lev last night to let him know I’d be stopping by to get Natalya’s stuff, hoping that would at least slightly smooth things over. He never responded, and I’m not sure what to expect.

I head in through the front door using my key and am confronted by boxes of her things.

It looks like Lev packed everything. Not only her clothes, but all her personal effects too. Laptops, old wallets, crumpled dollar bills, pens and pencils, headphones, stacks of random junk. Her entire life packed away.

The place is deeply quiet. I head to the kitchen and listen at the basement door. Someone’s down there working at the exercise machines, and I take the steps slowly but loudly. I find Lev at the bench press going through his reps, and I stand there watching until he finishes.

“I hoped you’d just take her shit and go,” he says, glaring up at me.

“I figured you’d be awake.”

“Great. Good guess. What do you want?”

“I talked with Valentin yesterday after you left?”

“Yeah, I fucking know.” He racks more weight and goes in for another set. It’s too much and he’s straining, but I can tell he’s pissed and working it out on the machines instead of punching me in the face. I appreciate that.

“He’s got me taking care of the Italians. I’m going to need help.”

Lev lets out a hissing breath. I hurry over to spot him, but he shoves the weight up onto the bar with a roar and pushes me away. I step back and give him some space as he sits forward, elbows on his knees, catching his breath.

“You think that’s it?” he asks, not looking at me. “Just like that, we can move on?”

“I think I did a bad thing for a good reason. You were right yesterday. I’m not perfect. I never have been. But I work my ass off to do the right thing, even when it fucking hurts, and trust me, this fucking hurts.”

“Fucking my sister was the right thing?”

“No,” I say and look down at my hands. But was it wrong ? I can hear her music, I can see her playing. I hear her moans echo through my body. “But stepping up and marrying her was.”

“It must be nice to be you.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

He stalks away over to a water bottle in the corner of the room. “You’re so convinced you have all the answers, and when you fuck up, you get to fall back behind all the old excuses. Oh, poor me, I’m Alexander, I was raised by a couple of abusive assholes that more or less ignored me when they weren’t hitting me, and that somehow makes me morally superior to everyone else.”

I grimace and look away. I don’t talk about my past often, and definitely not to Lev, but I guess word’s gotten around.

He’s right though. I grew up in a very bad household, which is why becoming Step’s friend saved my life. If not for him and the purpose the Bratva gave me, I would’ve ended up like my dad, an alcoholic gambling addict, dead from a drink driving accident when I was twelve, or like my mother, strung out on pills until she switched to heroin and finally overdosed alone in some shitty parking garage in Baltimore when I was nineteen.

I would’ve been all on my own after that. Except Step took me in and Oleg practically raised me like one of his boys, and now I’m doing this to them.

“I don’t think I have all the answers,” I say and look back up at him. “All I know is, I got your sister pregnant, and I couldn’t abandon her to marry a stranger. I couldn’t let her raise my child with a man I don’t even know. I have to be there for my kid, Lev. I have to do the right thing.”

Lev’s lips pull back and he storms over to me. His face is red from exertion and anger and he throws his water bottle onto the floor. “That’s the thing though. You didn’t have to do anything, but you did it anyway. You always wanted Natalya, and now you fucking got her.”

I take a step back as he shoves a finger in my face. “That isn’t true.”

“Fuck you, yes it is. You two bickered like god damn wild cats. The tension between you was off the fucking charts. Even Step mentioned it. You clearly wanted Natalya, but you were too loyal to ever do anything about it. At least until now.”

I stare at him, trying to make sense of this. He’s totally wrong about that—I’ve always hated Natalya. I’ve gone out of my way to avoid dealing with her.

She’s a spoiled-rotten Bratva princess, the total opposite of everything I’ve wanted. I need a strong woman, one with a spine, one that can stand up to anyone and knows the value of hard work.

That’s not Natalya.

She’s soft and sweet. She plays piano, reads in multiple languages, was handed everything on a silver platter, and never worked a day in her life.

I don’t care if she’s beautiful. Lovely, even. Fucking angelic.

He’s wrong.

“That isn’t true,” I say and even I can hear how lame and forced it sounds.

Lev sneers, shaking his head. “Just fuck off Alex. If my father hears you’re around, he’ll lose his shit. I already had to hold him back from coming after you again.”

“I married her for you. I married her for the family.” I blurt it out, because I think it’s true, but Lev’s face instantly changes.

“Don’t you say that shit again, you selfish piece of garbage. God, you’re so fucking delusional. Stepan would be fucking ashamed if he knew about this. Thank fucking Christ he’s dead, or else he’d fucking hate you right now, you piece of shit.”

Anger rolls into me. Rage flows into my veins. He’s throwing Stepan in my face now? My best friend? I lash out and shove Lev backwards, and that snaps the tension in half as Lev’s fist crashed into my face.

I grunt in paint and go at him. I hit his body, hit his face, and he hits me right back. He tumbles into the bench press and keeps struggling. I knee his thigh and he elbows my kidney. I headbutt him in the nose and he smashes a forearm into my mouth. I taste blood and keep going. Fuck Lev, fuck him for throwing Step at me like that.

We punch and struggle until we both end up sitting on opposite sides of the room. He’s bloody and bruised, and I’m sure I look worse. Neither of us moves, and finally some of the aggression’s been drained away.

Lev leans his head against the wall. He shows me a blood-covered grin. “You still punch like a fucking girl,” he says.

“You just can’t take it.” I grin back at him and gingerly touch my nose. It’s definitely broken.

He grunts and looks down at his lap. “I shouldn’t have brought Step into it. You’re right. But I’m fucking pissed at you.

“I know you are. I don’t blame you.”

“I just can’t understand why you’d do it. Why you slept with her to begin with.”

“It just happened.” How can I explain to him the music? The way she looked sitting there naked and gorgeous?

Maybe he’s right. Maybe all this time, I’ve needed her and never knew it.

“Everything just happens,” he says and pushes himself to his feet. “Go get her shit and get out of here before Dad finds you.”

I limp up the basement steps and start gathering boxes. I carry them out to the car, and once they’re all loaded, Lev appears.

He throws a towel at me. I use it to wipe the blood off my face and shirt.

“You’re going to need help with the Italians,” he says, head cocked to the side.

“You offering?”

“The fucking pricks destroyed our shop.” Real anger burns in his gaze, and for once, it’s not directed at me. “I’m not doing this for you.”

“I know you aren’t.” I turn away from him and head to my car.

“You’re going to take care of her,” Lev calls after me. It’s not a question.

I look back and nod once. He laughs and shakes his head before going back inside.

We’re not good. I doubt we ever will be again.

But he’s right—I’ll take care of her no matter what it takes.