INDIGO

Despite me being AWOL from club activities for over a month, Zoot never demands I get my ass back to work. Instead, he sends Bear and Tack to grab me to do an errand one day. After we finish up, Tack mentions how they’ll be back the next morning. Just like that, I’ve returned to my club routine.

“I’ll be on paternity leave soon,” Bear says as we finish up at a location. “Everything needs to be organized by then. Pork Chop is still only working a few days a week. That’s why we need you to get yourself sorted.”

Outside a club-financed business, we stand on the street near our motorcycles. I spot two pigs parked across the road watching us in a not-so-subtle way. I peel my gaze away from them and consider Bear’s words.

“What isn’t sorted? I’ve moved my stuff into Siobhan’s house. The dogs are settled there,” I say and notice Tack roll his eyes. “Well, they’re learning to live there.”

“This isn’t about the dogs,” Bear says, interrupting Tack and me silently arguing. “This is about Sync. He’s in our crew. We need you two to hash out the situation.”

“What’s there to say?”

Bear climbs on his motorcycle and shrugs. “Let’s go find out.”

We ride from the center of Banta City to the neighborhood we call home. Sync is out in front of his house, working on the Ford he’s been rebuilding. Golden is stretched out on a lounge chair nearby, hiding under his blond hair and nursing a beer. Night Ranger plays loudly on Sync’s phone.

Golden sits up when we park at the end of the driveway. Sync leans his head around the hood to see us. I can tell he’s resigned to how this needs to happen. As Sync wipes his hands on a rag, Golden stands up and erases the space between us.

“Where the fuck have you been?” he demands of me.

“I’m living with Siobhan.”

“You were in the hills before that.”

“If you knew where I was, why are you acting like I’ve been missing?”

Golden frowns as his blue eyes size me up. “Is Siobhan why you ran off? Should I have a talk with her? ”

Bear shoves the younger man as he strolls by and heads for the cooler next to the Ford. “Do you have anything besides beer to drink?”

“I’ve got Cosmic Peach Monster drinks inside,” Sync replies as his gaze focuses on me. “It’s that or water. I’m not letting you drink the girls’ juice pouches.”

Bear grunts as if he’s been denied what he wants. I watch him disappear inside while Tack hangs close to Golden and me.

“We are friends,” Tack announces and pats our shoulders. “We are brothers. We need to be on the same page.”

I assume Tack is talking to Sync more than Golden and me until he adds, “And we need to stop making fun of how our moms died.”

“I’m sorry your mom was a lush,” Golden tells Tack. “Mine was a crack whore.”

“Well, I never mention your mom, so maybe stop mentioning ours.”

“By ours, do you mean Indigo’s mom?”

Tack’s blue eyes flash with anger. “Fucking duh, Golden.”

Smirking at the rage he’s triggered, Golden sighs and casually shrugs. “I don’t know, man. It’s my way to push back against Indigo’s repressed bitch garbage. Does he plan to stop shitting on my dick’s natural exuberance?”

“I don’t care about your dick,” I snap at him. “I care how you treat the dumbass women who want your dick.”

“Those dumbass women have names,” Golden sneers at me. “I assume, anyway.”

Sync strolls down to where we stand and pats Golden on the back. “Here’s how we fix the problem. The next time Indigo gives you guff about getting laid, you punch him in the dick,” Sync says and looks at me. “And the next time Golden says shit about your mom, you punch him in the dick. I feel like you’ll both behave if your dicks are on the line.”

“Indigo doesn’t even use his dick,” Golden mutters. We all stare at him while he remembers how I’m living with Siobhan. I see the exact moment when he catches up. Golden shrugs. “Well, all right, then.”

As Golden struts back to his chair, Bear sets up another one and cracks open a Monster can. Tack glances between Sync and me before deciding I’m a big boy. He takes the Monster drink Bear hands him and settles into a third lounge chair .

Even knowing this conversation was coming, I’m unsure what needs to be said. The facts are already out on the table. What more can I add?

“I figured I’d need to track you down,” Sync says.

“I’m not apologizing.”

Sync shoves his grease rag in his back pocket and crosses his arms. “Apologize for what?” When I only shrug, feeling like he’s setting a trap, he asks, “How long have you been sniffing around Siobhan?”

“I’ve been in love with her for a while. That’s one of those things I’m not apologizing for.”

“I get that, but for how long?”

“Years.”

Sync cocks an eyebrow. “Back when she was with me?”

“Some of that time, yes.”

Sync frowns. “If you were waiting around for Siobhan and me to break up, how come you took so long to make your move?”

“I wasn’t waiting around.”

“Well, you wanted her. Now you have her. What were you waiting for?”

“I figured she might still be into you.”

“She probably is,” he says and scratches his jaw. “I’m her first everything, and we made the twins.”

Narrowing my gaze, I mutter, “Siobhan says she isn’t in love with you anymore.”

Sync snorts. “I’m just fucking with you, man. Why would you ever think she was nursing feelings for me all these years?” he asks, and I wonder if he regrets ruining things with Siobhan.

“You said she was the only woman you’d ever love.”

“She is.”

“Well, I assumed she felt you were the only man she’d ever love.”

“Siobhan’s heart isn’t gnarly like ours,” Sync says. “It’s perfect and pretty. That’s why she can love more than one man, but you and I only get one shot with a woman.”

“That makes sense.”

Sync walks around me like he’s thinking about kicking my ass. When he steps back in front of me, he shakes his head.

“I can’t believe you waited all this time. ”

“Siobhan says I wasn’t ready until I saw Bear and Tack hook up with their women.”

“That makes sense. Siobhan’s smart about things.”

“Are you angry? I can’t tell what your expression means.”

“I’m irritated you didn’t fess up years ago. I’d have told you to make your move. Siobhan was lonely, and those guys she tried dating were garbage. I kept worrying she’d marry a loser, and he’d turn my girls into shitheads. We could have skipped all that if you’d just hooked up with Siobhan.”

“I wasn’t ready.”

“Fair enough. I rushed into things with Siobhan. Being dumb doesn’t work for anyone except Pork Chop.”

Studying him, I can’t stop myself from asking, “If you had taken things slower, do you think you and Siobhan would have worked out?”

“No,” he replies immediately. “I like being single more than I liked being with Siobhan. She’s great and I love her, but it was too much. I suffer from zero regrets, of course. My girls are a fucking dream.”

“They are,” I say and smile at how the twins talked so much at breakfast. “They really like having the dogs at the house.”

Sync studies me and exhales deeply like he’s been holding his breath for a while. “I’m glad it’s you,” he says and nods. “Not just as the guy helping to raise my girls. I’m also glad it’s you who will love Siobhan.”

“Thanks, man,” I say, feeling unsure after assuming he’d be pissed.

“And I hope you have a boy.” When I just stare at him, a smile grows on his face. “Pork Chop let your little secret slip when I was at the farm yesterday.”

“Well, yeah, I didn’t expect that to happen right away.”

“No, but it’s good. Everyone’s having babies right now.”

We glance at Bear and Tack talking about nurseries. Golden pretends to be asleep, going as far as to snore.

“We’re cool, right?” Sync asks before I can ask the same thing.

“I figured you’d be upset.”

“It was weird at first, just because I never saw it coming. Now, it makes sense, and I’m glad we can act normal again.”

“Siobhan doesn’t want everyone to know about the baby yet. ”

“Well, if people hear the news, it won’t be from me. But Pork Chop struggles with secrets. When he gets excited, everyone’s private business flies out of his mouth.”

Joining the other guys near the garage, I take a Monster drink and help Sync with his car. We fall back into our old routine. My relationship with Siobhan is viewed as normal. For the first time in a very long time, I can spend time with my friends without keeping secrets or fearing judgment.