SIOBHAN

Dying to see my girls, I pull my truck up to the curb in front of Sync’s house. He’s out on the driveway, working on rebuilding a 1957 Ford Thunderbird. The twins like to help by handing him whatever tools he needs. They even dab sweat from his forehead like he’s a surgeon.

Today, my babies are dressed in matching pink leggings and lavender shirts with the words “AB/CD First Grade Rocks” printed on them. The girls don’t ditch Sync immediately, but they lose all interest in the car once I arrive.

“Mommy looks happy,” Kiera tells Deirdre.

I spin around and shake my butt. “I have a boyfriend.”

The twins gasp dramatically and coo in unison, “Boyfriend.”

Sync frowns from where he’s working under the hood. I’m not sure if he’s reacting to my announcement or the girls’ complete abandonment. They run over to me halfway down the driveway.

“I feel like a queen,” I say, hugging them.

The twins gasp again, knowing what I mean. Their little hands go to their heads, already thinking about their tiaras.

Sync strolls over with their bags. They look at him starry-eyed.

“We’re princesses,” they announce and dance around their father.

“You’re all weird.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t wear your crown when you’re home alone,” I taunt.

Sync rolls his eyes and goes to put the bags in my truck.

Deirdre tugs at my hand and asks, “What’s your boyfriend’s name?”

“You’ll see him tonight. He’s been staying at our house. You know I get so lonely with my babies gone.”

“You love us,” Kiera says and then looks at Deirdre and gasps. “Can we have tiaras with the boyfriend at home?”

“Of course. He knows I’m a queen, and you’re my little princesses.”

The twins bounce, loving the nights when we wear our tiaras. We watch princess-themed movies and carry magic wands, bequeathing love upon each other. Bubbles gets transfixed by the sparkling tiaras and follows the girls around all night .

A frowning Sync stomps over from my truck and says, “Girls, cover each other’s ears so I can grownup talk with your mom.”

Kiera and Deirdre face each other. Giggling, they place their hands over each other’s ears. Sync waits until he thinks they can’t hear before unloading on me.

“Have you lost your mind? You can’t have a weirdo freak stay over with the girls? What if he’s a pervert taking advantage of your obvious loneliness to find new victims?”

Waving my hand dismissively in his face, I reply, “My boyfriend is sweet and sexy and only into me. Though he’s a little odd, he’s never a pervert.”

“I ought to meet him and make threats.”

Realizing there’s no slick way to announce the information, I blurt out, “It’s Indigo, you soggy fry.”

Sync’s expression shifts to confusion. “No.”

“Yes. We’ve been dating for a week. Don’t you dare make threats.”

“No,” Sync says again and looks around. “I was ninety-nine percent sure he was gay.”

“Well, you were wrong. He’s long desired my sweet loving, but he’s shy. Now I know he wants me, and I want him, too.”

“Because he wants you?”

“I never realized Indigo was an option. I mean, after you turned out to be a big flop, I assumed I’d never get another biker’s fry in my basket again.”

Sync wants to complain about my wording, but the girls aren’t even pretending to cover their ears anymore.

“What happened?” he asks the twins.

“My arms are tired,” Deirdre explains and spins around. “I’m Princess D.”

“I’m Princess K,” Keira says, spinning now, too.

Sync watches them goof around before turning to me and frowning. “This feels wrong. Indigo doesn’t like women or sex.”

“He’s into me.”

“Why?”

“Are you fucking kidding?” I demand, and Sync chuckles at my indignation. “I ought to take my shoe off and smack you with it.”

“Daddy, you’re in trouble,” Deirdre says and hugs Kiera. “He’s gonna get spanked.”

Kiera suggests, “Mommy, put him in a timeout first. ”

I smile at the girls before remembering I’m angry with their father. “You know what? I really ought to put you in a timeout for thinking I’d ever bring a stranger around the girls just because I’m lonely,” I grumble while slipping off my sandal. “Is that how you see me?”

Sync smiles as my sandal waves in front of his face. “I couldn’t risk your lonely clam making a decision your big brain wouldn’t.”

Grunting my disapproval, I slide on my sandal and turn away. Sync grabs me by the arm and tugs me back in front of him.

“This thing with Indigo seems fishy. Are you sure he’s not just covering up his man-on-man feelings?”

“What is your problem?” I demand and cross my arms. “Wait, did you bet money that he was gay and you don’t want to pay up?”

“No, it’s just I was so sure. I even thought he might be into Tack.”

“Well, Tack talked to Indigo months ago, back when Hunter was hiding at the farm. They came up with a plan for Indigo to share how he felt about me. So, no, he’s not into Tack. If he was, that would have been the time to say something.”

“Or he was embarrassed and distracted Tack with this talk about you.”

“You’re so stupid,” I hiss, and the twins gasp dramatically. “Indigo and I are dating. He came on to me. He’s not into dangling bits. Why are you being so rude about this? Wait, are you into dangly bits and you’ve had a thing for Indigo? Yes, that would make the most sense.”

Sync rolls his eyes with such flair that the twins applaud his efforts. I shake my head at their cheering.

Kiera only shrugs. “He’s really good at eye-rolling, Mommy.”

“A champ,” Deirdre adds.

“Well, he’s getting on my last nerve.”

A concerned Kiera hurries over and tugs on Sync’s hand. “It’s her last one, Daddy.”

“She’s got more in layaway.”

“Okay,” Kiera says and bounces away to stand with Deirdre who is watching a lady walk by with a little dog.

“Don’t hassle Indigo, okay?” I tell Sync when he returns to frowning at me. “He’s new at dating, and his heart is fragile.”

“You get how I’m his friend and brother and everything, right? ”

“Yes, but you’re also so effortlessly an asshole, and I’m not sure you can control yourself.”

“You should have told me in a less goofy way, Siobhan. First, I worry you’ve got a freak at your house. Then, you drop the Indigo thing. I’m allowed to think the situation is suspect.”

“Are your feelings hurt over how your friends haven’t told you about Indigo and me?”

“Wait, who else knows exactly?”

“Everyone. We had a party the other night and didn’t invite you.”

Sync chuckles in that overly intense way he gets when I’ve pissed him off.

I back away and sigh. “This thing with Indigo came out of nowhere for me. I wasn’t sure we could work. I hadn’t thought of him as a man. He was just family. But once I opened myself to lusty thoughts, I’ve fallen hard. Please don’t mess this up for us.”

“How would I mess anything up?”

“You could make Indigo feel guilty or bad in some way. He’s struggling with making the dreams in his head work in real life.”

Sync notices the girls growing restless as they wait for us to finish talking. He steps closer and lowers his voice.

“Be square with me here. Are you just humoring Indigo?”

“Of course not.”

“Can you really imagine living with him? Or having him help with the girls?”

“He helps with the girls all the time at the farm.”

“Yeah, but it’s different now.”

Though I consider mentioning the baby, I thankfully choose to silence that urge. “Indigo and I are in love.”

“Because you’re both lonely,” he says, instantly making me happy over how I hadn’t mentioned the baby.

“No, because he’s fun and loyal.”

“Uh-huh,” Sync mutters. “Do you think if Indigo wasn’t a big old virgin when it came to the club girls, he’d be in such a hurry to nest with you?”

“I’m starting to think you are in love with him.”

“No, I just see him in a way you can’t.”

“I’ve seen him in plenty of ways you can’t.”

Sync inches closer and lowers his voice until I can barely hear him. “He is tightly wound about sex and women. His mom was a hooker. You know that, right? It’s why he acts like fucking is an evil thing.”

Glancing at the twins, I find them sitting in the grass and talking about what they ate for lunch.

I return my gaze to Sync and wonder why he’s trashing his friend.

“Did he tell you that?”

“No, but I was up in the hills years ago, and Sick Ricky was talking about how men with hooker mommies ended up weird. They were rattling off a bunch of names and Indigo was one of them.”

“First of all, you bikers are just terrible friends. Secondly, I’m going to insist Caveman smack around Sick Ricky.”

“Fuck that. I’m a good friend. Sure, Golden rides Indigo a lot about his mom, but the rest of us are nice. I’m only telling you about his mom because, well, we’re us.”

“And you want me to dump Indigo?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. He seems incapable of being what you want.”

“Are you saying he can’t be loyal?” I ask, fucking with Sync.

Accustomed to my accusations, Sync doesn’t even react. He just looks at our daughters like he fears them leaving his sight.

“Do you not like Indigo?”

“Of course, I do. He’s one of my closest friends. Obviously, he and I aren’t as close as Bear and Tack and all the other people you told while keeping me in the dark.”

“It’s just them and my family. It’s not like we had a party and didn’t invite you.”

Sync smirks at how I soften my tone. He cups my face and stares at me like I’m dying and he’s telling me goodbye.

“You’re not a smart person,” he says, and I roll my eyes at how he can’t help himself. “You have a big heart, and you grew up with great parents. You think you can force your life to fit theirs. But you have shitty taste in men. Not just me and Indigo, but you also picked real turds when you were trying to date normal guys. I mean, for fuck’s sake, that IRS accountant? What the hell were you two going to talk about?”

“I don’t know. Taxes, sex, budgets, maybe?”

“Indigo isn’t a flexible person. He can’t twist himself up to fit your life. ”

“I think you’re wrong. He might not be a healthy person, but he will absolutely suffer for the people he loves.”

Sync exhales hard and looks at the girls. “I don’t know.”

“Do you think Indigo will hurt them?”

Giving me a dirty look, Sync switches gears and gets protective of Indigo. “Of course not. He’d never hurt any child, let alone mine. What the fuck, Siobhan?”

“You’re the one giving me shit about him,” I hiss and consider taking off my sandal and hitting him.

“I just don’t want you to build up this thing and then leave Indigo hanging.”

“Wait, are you worried about me or him?”

“Both. You’re an idiot about love, and he’s all broken inside. Plus, the girls will get attached to him being around. Then, when things fall apart, they’ll be sad.”

I open my mouth to give him shit. Sync is trying to ruin things for me. I ought to kick his ass for stinking up my good fortune.

I’m distracted when the twins giggle at something. I consider the changes about to happen in their lives from Indigo to the dogs to the baby. The girls tend to handle change well. I suspect they learned to be flexible after years of bouncing from my place to their dad’s, plus frequently hanging out at the farm.

Sync is less keen on change. He prefers routine. We did really well as new parents to twins because he instituted a schedule early on. I never worried about him caring for the girls alone after we broke up. I knew he would have them eat well, go to bed on time, and never forget to brush their teeth. Hell, he’s even good at encouraging them to floss. The guy loves his fucking rules and schedules.

“I’m sorry I dropped this on you,” I say in a softer tone like I might with Indigo. “It must seem so random for this to be happening. But I’m giving this thing with Indigo a real shot. He makes me happy. I can’t worry about what happens if we break up. That might make me a moron, but I love who I love. I did it with you, and I’m doing it with him.”

Sync reacts like I expect. He turns off his pissy attitude and steps back. His gaze flashes to the girls. They suddenly look at him. A little staring contest takes place. The twins give up and laugh. On their feet, they run over to him.

“You’re going to miss us,” Kiera says and nuzzles her cheek against his hand. “Don’t cry, Daddy. ”

Kneeling, Sync hugs the girls. They pat his head, really thinking he’s about to sob over their departure.

“It’s okay,” Deirdre whispers to him. “You have to be strong.”

Sync chuckles at their teasing before glancing at me. The girls follow his gaze. I smile at my babies.

“Let’s go home and get prettied up before dinner.”

The girls kiss their dad’s cheeks and take my hands. “We need to go,” Kiera insists. “No more talking.”

I walk with the girls to my truck and get them situated in the back seat. Once I’m in the front, I lean out the window and smile at Sync.

“You should be happy it’s someone you know and love,” I tell Sync who walks over. “You do love him, don’t you?”

“He’s family,” Sync says.

I pat his cheek. “You better get inside to find tissues for your tears.”

“Don’t cry, Daddy!” Deirdre yells as Sync steps back. “We’ll come back!”

I pull away before Sync can say anything to ruin the nice moment we’ve shared.

On the short drive home, I explain how Indigo is my boyfriend and he is staying at the house right now. The girls mostly ignore me and whisper about boyfriends. I don’t know how they’ll react to a man staying over. They don’t remember when Sync lived with us, and the other men who bunked at our house didn’t share my bed.

We find Indigo on the couch. He looks like he’s spent the entire time I was gone working himself into a bad mood.

“You’re a boyfriend,” Kiera tells him after she and Deirdre leave their shoes and bags in their bedroom.

“I told Sync,” I announce as I pour juice for the girls. “He’s fine with it.”

Indigo looks at my babies watching him. “I worried your dad would get mad at me for staying here.”

“We’ll protect you,” Kiera says and hugs Indigo.

Deirdre cuddles on his right side, but she keeps staring at him like he’s scary.

“What’s wrong?” Indigo asks.

“How can you be Mommy’s boyfriend? You’re my uncle.”

“It’s complicated,” I say from the doorway. “When you’re bigger, it’ll make sense. Just know it’s okay. ”

Deirdre frowns at Indigo, seeming wary. “I don’t understand.”

“I love Siobhan,” Indigo says. “I love her more than I love other women. She’s special to me. That’s why I’m her boyfriend.”

Deirdre looks at me and then back at Indigo. When she doesn’t speak, Kiera says, “I love Mommy. I don’t want her to go away.”

“Where will I go?” I ask, and Kiera shrugs. “Are you feeling nervous things will change like they did at school?”

The twins immediately nod.

“What changed at school?” Indigo asks.

Kiera inhales sharply and points in the direction she thinks school is located.

“Deirdre was in my class in kindergarten. She’s my best friend. This year, she has a different class.”

“How come she can’t be in your class?”

Deirdre mumbles, “It’s the rules.”

“The principal felt the girls were struggling to make friends because they only wanted to play together.”

Kiera touches Indigo’s jaw so he’ll look at her. When he stares into her eyes, she nods. “Deirdre’s my best friend.”

“I know she is,” Indigo says. “I like being with my friends the best. I don’t like new people.”

Kiera nods again. “I want to eat lunch with Deirdre.”

Her sister begins to cry. “I want to sit with you.”

“I want to sit with you!” Kiera squeals.

They reach across Indigo and hug each other.

Deirdre whimpers, “You’re my friend.”

“I don’t want to play with Kylie. I want to be with you.”

I join them on the couch and stroke their backs.

“Remember how hard kindergarten was?” I ask them.

Kiera crawls over Indigo to get closer to me. “No.”

“That’s right. You don’t remember because it got easier. But at the start of kindergarten, you got upset over being away from mommy during the day.”

“I miss you,” Deirdre says and hugs me. “I want to stay with you.”

“I know, but you got used to being with your teacher. And Mommy and Daddy always picked you up.”

Deirdre looks longingly at her sister and mumbles, “I don’t like school. ”

“Yes, you do. But it’s hard to be away from Kiera. The other kids scare you. That’s why the principal wanted you in different classes. She wants you to learn to be friends with other kids.”

Deirdre looks at Kiera and shakes her head. “I don’t want friends. I want Kiera.”

“Well, I think we should give it until Christmas,” I explain when they start wearing their stubborn scowls, looking just like Sync. “If you still don’t like separate classes by winter break, we’ll talk to the principal about moving you into the same class.”

“I want my teacher,” Kiera says immediately.

Deirdre frowns. “I want my teacher.”

“Well, that’s what we’ll figure out during winter break. But first, we can enjoy Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, okay?”

The twins look at each other and decide they might be winning. Smiling suddenly, they turn their gazes to Indigo.

“Did you like school?” Kiera asks, climbing across Indigo so she can sit on his other side.

“It was okay, but I didn’t have friends when I was little. I only got good friends when I moved to the farm.”

“Grandma is your mom,” Deirdre says and then frowns. “What?”

“It’s complicated,” I whisper in her ear. “Grandma is your daddy’s mom, too. See how complicated it is?”

Deirdre shakes her head as if she simply can’t wrap her little head around it all.

“Can I stay here?” Indigo asks, but I’m unsure if the question is for me or them.

Kiera takes his hand and examines it like she often does her dad’s. I think she’s looking for bruised knuckles. She likes putting Band-Aids on Sync’s hands. When she finds Indigo uninjured, she smiles but says nothing.

Deirdre is more interested in cuddling in my lap than speaking up.

“Indigo is going to stay here,” I announce. “He’s my boyfriend, and I want him to be close.”

“Where will he sleep?”

“In my room.”

“What about Grumpy?” Deirdre asks and hides under my hair.

“Indigo and I put doggie beds in the office and doggie houses in the yard. It’ll be both Grumpy and Sleepy. ”

The girls perk up immediately.

“Where are they?” Kiera asks.

“In the hills with Caveman. Soon, they’ll live here with us.”

The girls’ earlier confusion and grumpiness disappear. Now, they’re focused on checking out where the dogs will sleep.

“I can’t tell if they’re upset with me,” Indigo says as we stand at the office doorway while the girls test out the large dog beds.

“School is kicking their butts this year. That’s why they’re upset. It’s not you. They know you. They’re obviously excited about the dogs coming here,” I say and smile at how the girls bark at each other. “Just don’t make a big deal out of being here, and they’ll treat you like they always do.”

“I’ve never been able to tell if they like me or not.”

“Well, there’s your answer. If they didn’t like you, you’d be very aware of that fact. They don’t like Claw. When they go to his house to play with his kids, they won’t talk to him.”

“Why don’t they like Claw?”

“They saw Yvette freaking out on him. Since Yvette made them sandwiches and treats, they view her as the good guy. That made Claw the bad guy.”

“So, if we argue, I’ll be the bad guy.”

“Oh, yeah, so mind your Ps and Qs, Mister,” I taunt, poking at his chest.

Indigo frowns, taking me too seriously. He glances at the girls who sit in the beds and watch us.

“I love Siobhan,” he says and hugs me against his hard body. “She’s beautiful.”

The twins’ faces light up, and they run over to hug me.

“I look like Mommy,” Kiera says and strokes Deirdre’s cheek. “You do, too.”

“Soon, we’ll all look like royalty,” I announce, and the girls hug us tighter.

Indigo never looks more handsome than as he gets swallowed up by girl cuddles. He seems so comfortable right now. How many times did he picture himself at my house with the girls and me?

I often worry reality won’t live up to his dreams. Right now, as he wears a little grin as I dress the girls as princesses, I only see a man in his element.