INDIGO
Siobhan frequently pulls her lips free from mine and stares into my eyes. She always smiles like an excited kid before kissing me again.
I wish I could enjoy her affections without my painful erection. My dick refuses to listen to me. Her gorgeous body slides against mine. Her lips are hot. Her tongue is curious. I’m so fucking hard.
I lose control of myself the first time when Siobhan moans my name and presses me back on the couch.
Later, after I’ve jizzed twice in my damn jeans, she guides me to the guest room. The closet is full of men’s clothes.
“When a club brother ends up in the doghouse with his lady,” Siobhan says as she holds my hand, “they come here to be judged. Pork Chop has a bunch of clothes stashed in the closet.”
“How do you judge them?”
“Well, I mostly punish them with my terrible cooking. I will also stop in the middle of a movie and sigh full of disappointment. The girls and I will stare at the guy until he lowers his gaze submissively. If he tries to flee, I hit him with a flip-flop. It’s a very complicated system, but there’s no denying it works.”
As Siobhan leaves me to change my clothes, I immediately feel as if the world gets louder and darker. I’m relieved to find her in the kitchen, looking through the cabinets.
“Are you hungry?” I ask.
Siobhan turns and smiles at me. “I was looking for what we need for the week. You know,” she murmurs and moves toward where I stand in Pork Chop’s sweatpants and T-shirt, “You could come along with me tomorrow. That way, we could shop for things you’d like to be at the house.”
“Am I staying here tonight?”
“I don’t know. Are you?”
“Yes. But that’s not how normal dates go.”
“We can’t be normal, Indigo,” she says and rests her hand on my chest. “And we can’t pretend to be strangers.”
I slide my fingers through her soft hair and cup the back of her head. Siobhan’s eyes widen. My lips are on hers before she can speak. I savor her flavor. I want to know how she tastes in the morning, afternoon, and night. I need to make her need me like I need her .
When my lips leave hers, Siobhan looks stoned. She gives me a goofy smile and rests both hands against my chest to steady herself.
“Having you stay here overnight isn’t too much to ask, right?”
“It’s our first date,” I say, sounding like I want space, even as I trap her hands against my chest. “You’re coming on a little strong.”
“I miss the way life was back on the farm when the girls were young.”
“If Sync came back today and asked for another chance, would you give it to him?”
“No,” she says immediately and steps back. “I know Sync is fucked in the head. I get how he can’t say what he wants like a normal person. He thought cheating was his way out. He’d do the deed, and I’d cut him loose. It worked eventually. I understand the psychology behind what he did. But he also hurt me in a public way because he didn’t have the emotional maturity to say he wanted to break up. Even if he’s matured since then, I can’t forgive what happened.”
“Good. He was an asshole to you.”
“Yes, but he couldn’t have stabbed me in the back so many times if I hadn’t kept handing him the blade and turning around. I’m stronger now. I wouldn’t let you treat me that way. Not that you would, but I know how to stand up for myself now.”
Siobhan studies me and then steps closer. “I nearly tracked you down after we slept together. I didn’t want to hide from what happened. That’s why I think you and I have a real shot.”
“I don’t want you to force yourself to be with me.”
“Don’t be so negative. I think you’re hot. We have fun together. When I’m upset, I know you’ll hug me. When I’m happy, I know you’ll high-five me. I had fun tonight. Didn’t you?”
Watching her warily, I mumble, “Yeah, but I’m in love with you.”
“Well, maybe I can fall in love with you, too. If we spend a few days together, I might glue myself to you. Are you ready for such commitment?”
I stare into her eyes and say without hesitation, “I’ve wanted you for a long time. You can’t know what it feels like to have you see me.”
Siobhan offers me the most beautiful smile. If I died right now, I’d go out happy.
“Then stay with me for a few days. We can go shopping. If you plan to bring the dogs here, they’ll need supplies. Oh, and I’m having lunch over at Natasha’s house tomorrow. Tack and Hunter will be there. We can hang out with our friends.”
Frowning, I step back and lose my confidence. Siobhan notices my mood shift and inches closer.
“Don’t hide. Just blurt it out.”
“I don’t want to go to lunch.”
“Because you hate Tack and Bear now? Or is it Natasha and Hunter who are on your naughty list?”
“It’s not that.”
Siobhan smirks. “I know, baby. Just tell me what it is.”
“I don’t know. It feels like a bad idea.”
“Did you like the shopping idea?” When I nod, she taps her chin as if thinking. “Are you afraid to be my boyfriend in front of people we know?”
“Maybe.”
“Are you embarrassed about liking me?”
“Why would I be embarrassed?”
“I’ve had sex with two bikers from the same club. I’m a little bit of a slut.”
“Sync happened years ago.”
“True, and I only got to feel your dick inside me once. So, I guess, I’m more of a wannabe slut.”
“You’re not a slut at all.”
“Okay,” she says and wraps her arms around my waist. “I won’t guilt you into coming with me to lunch. However, if you want to practice being my boyfriend in the open, lunch would be best. Our friends already know about you, me, and the baby. Wouldn’t it be smart to get the hang of showing affection in public with them rather than waiting until we’re at the farm or Sync is around?”
I don’t like considering what Sync will think or say when he finds out about Siobhan and me. We came to the farm around the same time. I grew up with him. He’s one of my closest friends. I’m at his house all the time. I don’t want to lose that friendship, but Siobhan is my dream woman.
And right now, she’s watching me with the hopeful gaze of a woman capable of loving me like I’ve long hoped. If I have to lose Sync’s friendship or feel awkward at Bear’s house during lunch, I’m willing to pay the costs to keep her.