Chapter 36

Thirty-Six

By the time the show ends, there's a transition period of taking things down and putting the animals to bed, so I'm left needy. Although I'm still aroused, I remember where I am and what our duties are. I know things can wait, but it still irks me. To take my mind off it, I join in and help clean up, thinking the quicker things are finished, the quicker I can get what I want, but by the time the lights are lowered and the last guest is sent on their way, I'm no longer so on edge. Arousal is a muted hum in the back of my mind. Instead, I focus on the lights around me.

The string lights are still on to guide us to our tents. Soon, even those will be turned down and only a few lights will remain. Tomorrow, the show will go on again, and then the next day, until we move on and repeat the same process. We may be in this area a little longer, though, because it sits in the middle of three different towns. Each night, the show brings in a variety of people, but rarely repeat customers. They come to see the show once, and the temptation of it scares them. Once is enough for them, but I'll never get enough of it.

"I thought I'd find you out here," a voice says behind me.

I don't turn around to look. I already knew who it was before he spoke. Diamond walks with a certain flare the others don't have, as if every step is a performance.

"Have you come to tease me?" I ask, but the words lack the venom they might have had earlier. Exhaustion dances at the edges of my mind now, and although I'd love to fuck Diamond into oblivion, he made himself clear. Whatever beast he thinks he is, he doesn't believe I'm ready for it all alone.

Whatever.

"Perhaps," he muses before taking a seat next to me. We're sitting on the edge of a wooden stage used for various acts. It's stored outside when we're not using it, and it creates a perfect place to watch as the lights start going out across the cirque.

"Great," I say, glancing over at him with a raised brow. "Well, let's see it. What do you have for me?"

His smile is gentle, far gentler than I've ever seen it before. It gives him a boyish appearance that would melt most women. For me, however, it reminds me that he hasn't been innocent in a long time, and that it probably happened violently.

"You're irritated with me," he observes.

"Of course I am," I reply, rolling my eyes. "You worked me up in front of a crowd and then left me wanting. What woman wouldn't be a little agitated after that?" I tilt my head. "I'm not mad though. Your responsibility is to the cirque first."

"You're a part of that responsibility," he remarks before reaching out to take my hand. "I can't leave you needy."

"I'm fine." I huff, crossing my arms. "Don't worry about it."

His dark chuckle should be threatening, but instead, it shoots straight to my core and I'm reminded just how much I want him.

He's silent for a few moments, as if waiting for something, and when another light goes off amongst the tents, his fingers stroke my palm. "I grew up in the cirque, you know," he says, drawing my attention. "My father raised me here. He was a daredevil himself, and he was good at it. When I was little, I wanted to be just like him."

"Are you?" I ask.

"Yes and no," he admits. "I was a daredevil before I became the ringmaster, and I was better than my father was. He didn't like that, even if he wasn't able to perform anymore, but that's where our similarities end. He was weak and often afraid. He hadn't really wanted a child, and I think he spent more time with me during performances than he ever did outside of them. When my mother died, and he was forced to make the decision to take me in or send me away to an orphanage, and he took me only because Hilda told him I was meant to be here." He meets my eyes. "He wasn't the best man, but he was my father."

I study him for a moment, drinking him in, before I nod. "My father is the reason I was able to come to the cirque as a child, the reason I saw you. My mother didn't like it, thought it was improper, but my father indulged me often. He was a good man, but when he died, we were easy prey for Roger." I sigh. "That's to say the men in our lives shape us, yes, but they aren't all that we are. I can tell you think you have more of him in you than you do." I lean forward and cup his jaw. "You said we're all devils, and that's fine, but that doesn't make us bad. Not really. It just makes us misunderstood."

He blinks in surprise. He's not wearing his ringmaster coat anymore, only his shirt and pants.

"You know, sometimes I forget what you suffered before you came here," he murmurs. "You wear your anger so well."

I shrug. "I can't change what happened. I can only live for now." I smile. "I should remind you that you promised to tease me, and I have yet to feel teased since you joined me."

"Oh?" he says, grinning. "Are you still dripping from my touch earlier?"

"Of course I am," I grumble. "You know that. Everyone else was too busy to help me. I'm one second away from touching myself."

"So do it," he says, his eyes hungry.

I still. "What?"

He leans closer. "Reach between your pretty thighs and stroke your clit for me," he commands. "If you're so needy, I want to see it."

I glance around, hesitating despite the lights going out. Most have gone to bed, but there is still a chance others will linger about or come walking up. There's no cover here.

"What if someone sees?"

"Let them," he growls.

"The children?—"

"Are in bed," he interrupts, "and far on the other side of the cirque."

He lifts my hand and brings it over my lap. "Touch yourself for me, Ember. Show me how needy you are for me."

"You could just fuck me," I point out.

He grins. "Not yet."

I pout my bottom lip. "Devilish man."

"Beautiful queen," he purrs, his eyes stealing my soul once more. "Touch yourself."

I throw all caution to the wind. This is a game we're playing, and part of me feels as if this is also a test. I want to please him. I want him to praise me. I want him in every way possible.

I trail my hand up my thigh and under my skirt, pushing it aside to reach my core. I'm not wearing underwear, as he well knows, so the moment I find my slickness, I moan and tip my head back.

"Good girl," he purrs, reaching up to caress a single finger along my throat, my collarbone, and between my breasts. "How wet are you?"

"Drenched," I answer, circling my clit with my fingers. "For you."

"Oh, I know," he murmurs. "I wanted to fuck you right there in that cage. I wanted to fuck you on the motorcycle. I want to fuck you right now, but I want you to gush from thinking about what I'll do to you when I get you all to myself."

Thinking about just that, I stroke faster. I press two fingers inside myself, moaning at the stretch, and my hips start to move forward and back. It doesn't take long before I'm panting. I've been desperate for release all night, and Diamond only made it so much worse.

"That's it," he purrs. His hand cups my breast and tweaks my nipple through my shirt. "When I get ahold of you, you'll scream my name. I'll wipe every memory in your mind away and replace it with my image. I'll haunt your dreams."

"Yes." I stroke faster. "Yes, I want that."

"I'll mark your skin, carve my own symbol next to Club's. I'm going to take you to the brink of darkness and push you off the ledge," he whispers in my ear, and my pussy pulses around my fingers. "Dance in the darkness with me, Ember. Dance with the devil."

I pant his name beneath my breath, and he moans before his lips find my neck.

"I want you."

"Then take me," I rasp, so close to exploding.

"No," he growls, the sound dangerous. "Not yet."

I mewl in protest but grind harder against my hand. "Then watch what you make me do."

The release rises like a tidal wave and washes over me violently. My legs shake as my pussy spasms, and I throw my head back. His hand slaps over my mouth to capture my moan as I come around my fingers. It's not enough though. I want more. Oh god, I want so much more.

"That's enough for tonight," he purrs against my throat. "But first . . ."

He reaches between my legs and grips my wrist, dragging my hand up to his mouth. "I want to taste what was meant for me."

He licks my fingers before sucking them inside his mouth. I gasp as he cleans them, taking every last drop, and hums with pleasure.

"Diamond," I beg, desperate for him.

"Not yet," he murmurs, his own arousal stretching his pants. "Not yet."

"For fuck's sake, why not?" I growl, annoyed, aroused, and desperate.

There's fire in his eyes, a raging beast locked up tight behind a cage. He holds the key in his hand, ready to burst out, but he's purposely holding himself back.

"Because I'll destroy you," he snarls. "Because I'll remake you and fuck you until you shatter. Because I won't stop when you beg me to. Because I will take all of you." He grabs my chin roughly. "I will consume you, Ember, and you aren't ready for that. You only had a taste of me last time. I let you take control. When I fuck you this time, I will ruin you."

Club appears out of the darkness behind him like a vengeful wraith, his eyes dancing with fire.

"Now be a good girl and let Club fuck you," Diamond orders. "I'll tend to myself."

"I could help?—"

"No," he snarls. "I'll tend to the beast. Go." At my hesitation, he flashes his teeth. "Go, Ember."

I stand when Club takes my hand and starts to pull me away. I don't release Diamond's until I'm too far away to hold on, our fingers sliding apart. It pains me to watch him sit there, his eyes riveted to me.

"Diamond," I rasp, worried for him.

The devil who sits on the stage.

The beast who barely restrains himself.

The man who sits in darkness.