Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

Orla, aged 16. December 19 th

Orla was drunk and she was so annoyed.

She’d arrived at the party, said hello to Clara and then lurked in a corner hoping to sneak out at an appropriate time. But then Kirk had come over to talk to her. At least she thought he said his name was Kirk, he might have said Clark, she wasn’t sure. And while Kirk was definitely not her type and she wasn’t interested in him in that way, he was nice enough to chat to. He was charming and sweet and it beat being awkwardly alone. He kept on getting drinks for her from the kitchen which was filled with people, and she had insisted he only got her some orange juice but some of them had tasted funny. He said there was only orange and passionfruit available, and she had assumed the funny taste was the passionfruit which she’d never had, but now it was quite clear it was something else, maybe vodka or Bacardi which she’d never had either. She was so stupid. She didn’t know if he’d done it deliberately or whether it had been a mistake, but she cursed herself for being so na?ve.

She was so drunk now, she couldn’t even stand. She couldn’t see straight and she felt so tired, she felt like she could curl up on this sofa and go to sleep for a hundred years. The house was decorated in full Christmas regalia and the flashing, twinkling lights, which Orla had thought were beautiful when she arrived, were now making her head hurt, although that could easily be the alcohol that was doing that, but the lights were definitely too bright for her eyes.

Kirk was on the other side of the room chatting with his friends and they were all laughing and clapping him on the back as if he’d done something brilliant and weirdly, they all kept on looking over at her as if she was the something brilliant he’d done and none of that made sense. Nothing made sense.

She saw Shay coming towards her. He’d come over to say hello when he’d first arrived and checked in with her an hour ago before the alcohol had well and truly hit, but he’d been with Melody for most of the night and she clearly didn’t like it when Shay came and spoke to Orla.

‘Are you OK?’ Shay asked, concern etched on his face.

‘No Shay, I’m drunk, I’ve only been drinking orange juice all night, but I think something was in it because now my head is spinning, I can barely stand and I don’t feel well.’

At least that’s what she tried to say, it sounded a lot more slurred in her ears.

‘OK, let’s get you home,’ Shay said.

Just then Melody appeared at his side. ‘What’s going on?’

‘I’m taking Orla home.’

‘Why?’

‘Because she’s drunk.’

‘It’s a party, everyone here is drunk.’

Shay ignored her and turned his attention back to Orla. ‘Do you have a coat or a bag?’

She shook her head which made her brain wobble inside her head.

‘Oh come on, don’t go, it’s only ten o’clock,’ Melody whined. ‘You haven’t danced with me yet.’

‘I don’t dance.’

‘But I wanted to show you the summer house in the garden. Can I show you? It will just take five minutes.’

He looked back at Orla and she really didn’t want to spoil his fun. It wasn’t his fault she was stupid enough to get drunk, nor was it his responsibility.

‘Go, I’m OK here, I’m not going anywhere,’ Orla said.

‘Please, just two minutes, I promise you’ll love it,’ Melody said.

He nodded. ‘Two minutes, then I’m taking Orla home.’ He turned back to Orla. ‘Stay here.’

She nodded weakly.

Melody dragged him off in the direction of the garden and Orla flopped back on the sofa. But after a few minutes there was no sign of him and she was starting to feel a bit sick. She really needed to go home and she really needed someone to help her.

She staggered to her feet and wobbled off in the direction of the garden. She felt so rough. She made it outside and while there was no sign of him, there were lights on in the summer house. She wobbled down the path and peered through the window. Shay was sitting on the sofa and Melody was straddling him, kissing him passionately. And while it shouldn’t hurt as he’d had multiple girlfriends over the years, some of which he’d clearly had sex with, it still did make her heart ache when she saw him kissing someone that wasn’t her, knowing it would never be her.

Melody suddenly whipped off her top to show she wasn’t wearing a bra, grabbed Shay’s hands and placed them over her breasts.

Orla quickly turned away. She certainly didn’t want to see any more. She wobbled back to the house and as soon as she stepped inside, Kirk was waiting for her.

‘Hey babe, are you OK?’ he wrapped his arms round her shoulders.

‘No, I’m drunk thanks to you. I said I only wanted orange juice.’

‘Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I had no idea, I just thought it was normal orange juice. I feel so bad.’

Orla shook her head. Maybe it had been a mistake.

‘I don’t feel well, I need to go home.’

‘Look, why don’t you have a lie down on one of the beds upstairs and when you feel better in an hour or so, I’ll get you a taxi home.’

A sleep on a nice comfy bed did sound good. That sounded exactly what she needed right then.

She nodded. ‘OK.’

With his arm round her shoulders, he guided her upstairs, which took a lot longer than it should because she was so unsteady on her feet. Eventually he guided her inside one of the bedrooms and she sat down on the bed and he sat down next to her, with his arm round her shoulders.

‘Can I have a kiss?’

‘No,’ Orla said, grumpily, knowing she sounded like a petulant child. He was being sweet and trying to help her.

‘Well lie back and go to sleep and I’ll come and check on you in an hour.’

She lay back on the bed and closed her eyes and as soon as her head touched the pillow, she felt sleep taking her. This was what she needed.

She heard the bedroom door click closed as Kirk left her alone and she snuggled down more into the comfy bed.

She felt a weight on the bed as if someone had sat or knelt on it, which was weird as Kirk had gone but she was too drunk and too tired to open her eyes and after a few moments she thought she’d probably imagined it and the bed was just moving under her own weight. Or maybe the room was just spinning with her stupid drunkenness.

A few seconds later, just as she was dropping off, she felt something touch her stomach and she opened her eyes blearily to find Kirk leaning over her busily trying to undo all the buttons on her shirt dress. He was down to the last two and the rest of her dress lay open.

‘What the hell are you doing?’ Orla said, grabbing her dress and wrapping it tight around herself.

‘Oh, don’t be like that, you’re going to enjoy it.’

It was like she’d been doused with a bucket of cold water as the harsh reality of what was happening hit her. He’d deliberately got her drunk, he’d brought her up here for this.

She kicked him in the face which sent him sprawling on the bed just as someone tried the clearly locked bedroom door.

‘Orla!’ Shay’s voice came from outside.

‘Shay, help!’

A second later the door smashed open and Shay burst into the room. He took in her state of undress, Kirk lying on the bed holding his face and she’d never seen rage like it. Within seconds, he had Kirk pinned up against the wardrobe door by his throat.

‘What the hell did you do?’ Shay said.

‘Nothing I swear,’ Kirk said, fear and tears in his eyes.

Orla tried to do her buttons back up, but her hands were shaking too much to work. She looked up just as Shay raised his fist to punch Kirk in the face. Kirk burst into tears which stopped Shay in his tracks.

‘Shay, please, I just want to go home,’ Orla said, tears choking her own throat.

Shay threw Kirk to the floor and came back to the bed. ‘Did he hurt you?’

‘No. He just undressed me while I was asleep.’

Shay let out a growl and turned back for Kirk, but she put a hand on his arm, stopping him before he did something he couldn’t take back. ‘Please, will you take me home?’

He nodded. He moved closer and did her buttons back up, then he wrapped her in a blanket, scooped her up in his arms and carried her out.

The party was still going strong downstairs and no one batted an eyelid as Shay carried her out of the party.

He took her to his car and sat her in the passenger seat, wrapping the blanket tightly around her.

He closed the door and got in the driver’s side. ‘I haven’t been drinking tonight, because I knew I was going to take you home.’

She nodded and he started the car and drove off.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Orla said.

‘What the hell do you have to be sorry for?’

‘I saw you and Melody in the summer house, I came to get you as I was feeling unwell, and I saw you kissing and Melody taking her top off. I didn’t see any more than that. I’m sorry for ruining your night.’

‘You didn’t ruin my night. I always planned to take you home and if I wasn’t OK with that I wouldn’t have offered. And I didn’t sleep with Melody because I knew what she was playing at, she was trying to distract me from you. The only one that ruined my night was that little shit Kirk, how dare he treat you like that. I’m so angry right now.’

‘And I’m sorry for making you angry.’

He pulled over sharply onto the side of the road and turned off the engine. ‘This is not your fault, do you understand. You didn’t do anything wrong.’

Tears fell down her cheeks. He leaned over, unclipped her seatbelt and then hauled her over onto his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her and she cried against his chest.

‘I feel so stupid, I took all these drinks off him believing they were just orange juice and even when I said they tasted funny, he said it was orange and passionfruit and I bloody believed him. How na?ve is that? And he was laughing about it with his friends and I didn’t realise at the time but he was laughing that he’d got me drunk. And then he said I should go upstairs and lie down for a bit and he’d call me a taxi and I went upstairs with him with no idea what he had planned. I’m such an idiot.’

‘It’s not your fault. Every woman should be able to go out for drinks and enjoy themselves without worrying that some arsehole is going to take advantage of that. And I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, that I allowed myself to get distracted for a few minutes. I saw you in the garden, walking back into the house and I stopped Melody from undressing and told her I had to take you home and then we had a stupid row over it. I would have been there sooner, but I went back in and I was asking everyone where you were, until someone said they’d seen you go upstairs with Kirk and I knew, I knew what he was going to do. I’m so sorry.’

She looked up at him. ‘It’s not your fault either. Thank you for being there. I’m not sure what would have happened if you hadn’t.’

‘From where I was standing when I came in, it looked like you were handling it just fine.’

‘I kicked him in the face,’ Orla said.

‘Good, I hope he has a black eye to show for it. I just wish I’d got there sooner.’

‘It really wasn’t your fault. This is all Kirk. And maybe a tiny bit Melody.’

He smirked.

She kissed him on the cheek and put her head back down on his chest. He stroked his hands up and down her back soothingly.

‘I love you, you know,’ Orla said.

He kissed the top of her head. ‘I love you too.’

She smiled slightly and closed her eyes, breathing him in. He was her harbour in the storm. She was safe when she was with him.

‘You’re the first person I’ve said that to. I’ve not even said that to Mum, Theo or Fern, but of course I love them too,’ Shay said.

She looked back up at him. ‘Maybe you should tell them.’

He nodded. ‘Maybe I should. Shall I take you home?’

‘Take me to yours. I don’t want my mum to see me like this. She’ll call the police.’

‘Maybe she should. It would be good to see that arsehole arrested.’

‘He didn’t do anything apart from undress me, I can’t see that standing up in a court of law.’

‘I bet you could still press charges for something,’ Shay muttered.

‘I’m going to make him pay for this,’ Orla said. ‘I’ll make sure every girl at school and sixth form knows what he did so they know to stay well clear of him. His reputation will be in tatters. That’s the very least I can do.’

She clambered off his lap and got back into her seat. Shay drove the short distance to his house and got out. He came round to her side as she was getting out and took her hand and led her into his house. The house was all in darkness with Carrie and Fern away. Judging from the soft snores she could hear as they passed Theo’s room, he was fast asleep too. They walked past Shay’s room and she stopped him.

‘Can I stay with you tonight?’

He blinked in surprise and then nodded. ‘Of course. Let me get some pyjamas from Fern’s room.

He disappeared inside his sister’s room and came out with a pair. ‘These are old, she won’t care if you wear these.’

‘I’ll, umm, get changed in the bathroom.’

He nodded and went into his bedroom. She quickly got changed and then went back to his bedroom. He was already lying in bed, topless, waiting for her. Her heart fluttered nervously, not because she was scared but because it was Shay, the man she’d been in love with for over two years. She climbed into bed next to him and snuggled into his chest. He immediately wrapped his arms around her holding her tight. She closed her eyes and as he stroked her, she felt herself drifting off to sleep. And just as she was right on the edge of sleep, she heard him whisper, ‘I love you’ again, as if trying those words on for size.