Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

Orla, aged 18. December 11 th

Orla paced nervously inside her house as she waited for Shay to come and pick her up. She’d told her mum she was going away with Shay for the weekend and her mum had just waved and told her to have a good time as she ran out the door to be with her boyfriend. But they’d never been close through Orla’s teenage years, not since the fighting started between her parents. She’d kind of wanted to talk to her mum about all this but they just didn’t have that kind of relationship. The only person she’d really wanted to talk to about what was happening this weekend was Fern, but somehow sleeping with her friend’s brother didn’t come up easily in conversation.

Shay pulled up in his car and there was part of her that wanted to run away and hide. She wasn’t scared, she trusted Shay, but this whole weekend of sex that was on offer was definitely more than a little bit intimidating.

She opened the door and wheeled her suitcase to the entrance. What did you pack for a weekend of sex with your best friend? She didn’t have any sexy underwear and was too embarrassed to go and buy any in case he thought she was trying too hard. It was some weird line they were going to cross. They were going to have sex, but they weren’t together, they weren’t a couple, so sexy underwear seemed like a step too far.

He came to the door and lifted her suitcase. He laughed. ‘Did you pack anything? This is very light.’

‘Just a few clothes. A couple of bikinis for the pool, which thankfully is indoors, and a jumper. I didn’t think I’d need a lot of clothes.’

She felt her cheeks flame at what she’d said. ‘I didn’t mean…’

‘You’re right, we’ll probably be in the pool quite a bit,’ Shay skated over it. ‘Are you ready?’

She felt her eyes widen – did he mean ready for sex? Would they be doing it as soon as they walked through the door of the cottage?

‘To go?’ He quickly clarified.

She nodded and he walked out to the car and put her case in the boot. She watched him. He hadn’t given her a kiss on the cheek to say hello but of course he wouldn’t, he wasn’t her boyfriend. They were just friends and he was behaving exactly as he always had, as if this weekend was nothing more than two friends hanging out. Yet in half an hour they could be having sex for the first time, and it would also be the first time they’d kiss and that just felt a bit backward – surely they should at least kiss first.

She closed the door and followed him out to the car. She got in and he drove off. He put the heating on and soon the car was filled with warmth. It was a freezing cold start to December, there was even talk of snow.

‘How was the course?’ Orla asked, clinging to the normality.

‘It was really good, really practical and we worked with some great experts in their trade,’ Shay said, driving the car over the hill so Starlight Cottage came into view. They both fell quiet.

‘Are you OK?’ Shay asked.

She nodded.

‘I have to admit, I’ve never felt this nervous about sex before,’ Shay said.

She laughed in relief. ‘You’re nervous too?’

‘Of course. It’s you. This feels way more significant than any woman I’ve been with before. It feels like it means more. And I know it’s not, I know this is just sex for you but it’s us, together, and it means something to me.’

Her heart leapt. ‘It means something to me too.’

He smiled and took her hand.

She frowned in confusion as she watched him driving along. She was ninety-nine percent sure he didn’t have feelings for her, not in that way. But it meant something to her because she was going to be with the man she had been in love with ever since they’d first met. So why did it mean something to him? She supposed their friendship added another layer to it for him, that he’d not experienced in other relationships, he had to mean that. She couldn’t start looking for something that wasn’t there in all of this.

He pulled up outside Starlight Cottage and her heart was hammering against her chest. They sat staring at it for a few moments, feeling the weight of what was going to happen beyond those doors.

‘I am yours for the whole weekend,’ Shay said. ‘Whatever you do or don’t want to do, I’m happy. If you want to try every position in the Kama Sutra in every room in the house, I’m game. If you decide you just want to swim in the pool and hang out and watch movies and not have sex, that’s fine too, it’ll be a nice way to say goodbye before you go to London for your big patisserie apprenticeship. I also want you to know I have never had sex without a condom but also I’ve just had a health check to make sure I was clean for you, and I am.’

Her heart swelled with love for him for taking this so seriously. She stroked his face and he blinked in surprise at her touch. They didn’t have this intimacy but hell, they were going to be a lot more intimate than that soon enough.

They got out the car and started taking stuff into the house. Shay had packed a lot of food; it appeared he was going to do a lot of cooking for her.

‘Let me give you some money towards all this. This is a lot of food.’

‘No, absolutely not. This weekend is on me.’

‘That doesn’t seem fair.’

‘It seems more than fair to me,’ Shay said, bringing the last of the bags into the house.

Shay started putting some of the cold items in the fridge and freezer and Orla looked around the house. It was modern and clean looking and the view over Cranberry Cove and the rest of Apple Hill Bay was beautiful in the frosty afternoon. There was an indoor pool in the back part of the house, the turquoise of the tiles sparkling under the tiny spotlights, the fold-up doors currently open, letting in some of the weak winter sunshine. It was lovely.

The house had been decorated beautifully for Christmas with a tree sparkling under the weight of a multitude of gold baubles and white lights. There was a gorgeous garland wrapped around the banister and over the mantelpiece of the huge open fireplace and there were cute little Christmas gnomes in various Christmas sweaters positioned all around the house.

‘What do you think? Is it OK?’ Shay asked.

‘It’s beautiful,’ Orla said.

They stared at each other and she wondered if he would just pick up her up now and carry her upstairs to the bedroom, although it looked like he wasn’t going to do that. She decided they might as well make a start. Despite his magnanimous attitude to not having sex this weekend, they were here to do just that. She started undoing the buttons on her shirt and cursed that her fingers were shaking.

He closed his hand over hers. ‘What are you doing?’

She looked at him in confusion. ‘What we’re here to do.’

He frowned. ‘I’m not in any rush, we have the whole weekend to do that, we’ll get to it when you’re ready. If you’re ready.’

‘I am ready.’

‘Really, because you’re trembling like a leaf.’

She let out a breath. ‘I’m just a bit nervous.’

‘OK, let’s talk about that so I can help you. What are you nervous about? You said you trusted me.’

‘I do, it’s just...’

‘Are you afraid it will hurt.’

‘No, I umm... I have toys.’ She felt her cheeks flush.

‘Toys?’

‘Do you want me to spell it out to you.’

He cleared his throat. ‘No, I’ve got the picture.’

‘Well, it’s never hurt when I’ve umm... you know. So I don’t think it will hurt with you, but then I imagine you’re significantly bigger than some of my umm… toys so maybe it will.’

‘I’m going to go really slow, so I really hope it won’t, but if you’re not nervous about that then what are you nervous about?’

‘Well by all accounts, you’re very experienced in these matters and I’m not at all and, I know you didn’t even want to do it with me and I don’t blame you because you’re probably not going to enjoy it. But—’

‘Orla this weekend is about you not about me, but you can rest assured that I absolutely will enjoy it.’

She stared at him, her mouth dry.

‘I think I’ll go for a swim in the pool. I need to cool off. Why don’t you join me?’ Shay said.

He grabbed both their bags and ran upstairs and after a few moments he appeared, just wearing his swim shorts. His chest was a glorious thing, all muscly and tanned from his days working out in the sun. His legs were strong and muscly too. He walked into the pool room and dived into the pool.

She went upstairs and changed into her bikini and went back downstairs again. She loved the way he looked at her as she walked into the room with the pool. It made her feel powerful. She dived in, swam underwater the length of the pool and surfaced next to him. She enjoyed the way the water droplets on his skin glistened under the spotlights.

‘You know, it’ll be weird if we sleep together later and we’ve never even kissed,’ Orla said.

He frowned and she wondered if she’d pushed it too far.

‘You want me to kiss you?’

‘I presume we will probably kiss a bit when we...’

‘Make love,’ Shay said.

‘Yeah.’

‘I’d planned on kissing you all over.’

She stared at him. He was going to ruin her. How was she ever going to survive this weekend with her heart intact when he was looking at her like that and saying these things? She had to keep reminding herself it was just sex.

‘I like the sound of that. But don’t you think it’d be weird if the first time your mouth touches me, it’s on my breast not my mouth.’

He smirked. ‘When you put it like that, yes. Would you like me to kiss you?’

She nodded.

He stroked her face, tracing his thumb over her lips. She was thrown by the look of emotion on his face, it was one of complete adoration. He bent his head and kissed her. Her heart thundered in her chest. She’d dreamt of this moment for years and never thought it would happen. And yes, it was happening under very weird circumstances, but for one moment she was going to pretend it was all real. His kiss was so gentle to start with, the taste of him was magnificent. She slid her arms round his neck, pressing herself up against him and relishing in the feel of his wet, hard chest against hers. This kiss was the sexiest, hottest kiss of her life. Admittedly, she’d only kissed a few boys, but this was something different, there was so much passion and heat in this kiss.

Feeling bold, she ran her hand down the muscles in his arm and then over his chest and he made a strangled noise against her mouth. He moved his hands down to her hips, his thumbs tracing the side straps of her bikini, it made her stomach clench with desire. He wrapped his arms around her holding her close so she could feel every hard edge of him against her and she had never felt so safe in her whole life.

And then she felt something else, how much he wanted her. He was rock hard. She gasped in shock against his lips and pulled back to look at him, she couldn’t believe he was so turned on from a simple kiss.

‘Sorry, just ignore it,’ he muttered. He went to kiss her again, but she stopped him.

‘What if I don’t want to ignore it.’

She ran her hands down his chest towards the waistband of his shorts. All fears, worries and doubts vanished in an instant. He wanted her as much as she wanted him and that made her feel like a goddess. He caught her hand with a groan.

‘Orla, I wanted you to have time to relax before we did anything, I didn’t want to pounce on you as soon as you walked through the door.’

‘What if I want you to pounce on me?’

‘I’m trying really hard to be respectful here, but you don’t know what you do to me.’

‘Then show me.’

He swallowed. ‘Can I touch you?’

She nodded and he moved his hands to her chest, stroking across her shoulders and just under her neck and she felt bad that she had never asked him before she ran her hands over his chest.

‘Can I touch you?’

He chuckled. ‘You can do whatever you want with me, I’m yours for the weekend, remember.’

She smoothed her hands across his chest, tracing every hard edge of his muscles and his abs. He really was so beautiful. Her breath caught in her throat when he traced his fingers over the edge of her bikini top towards her heart, touching her breasts with barely a whisper but it was enough to make her ache in ways she had never felt before. How could he affect her with such a simple, gentle touch?

He slowly undid the little straps at the side of the bikini top and slid the straps down her arms then threw the top onto the side of the pool and she watched his eyes darken with need. She looked out into the garden, but they were completely secluded there. There were no other houses on this side of the bay and while the other side of the house opened out onto the spectacular view of the bay, this area was completely closed off from view. An eight-foot brick wall surrounded the small garden area here and there were trees and bushes growing along the top. No one would see them here.

‘Promise me something,’ he said, his voice rough. ‘If I do something you don’t like or if it moves too fast for you, or you change your mind, you’ll tell me.’

She nodded, her mouth dry.

‘Promise me.’

‘I promise.’

He stroked his hands across her breasts, making her breath hitch. He leaned forward and kissed her throat just under her ear, making goosebumps erupt across her skin, as his hands continued to caress her breasts, her stomach, her back. Every touch was making her more needy and desperate for him. He trailed his mouth lower, capturing her breast in the sweetest, hottest kiss that made her cry out.

He lifted his head, ‘OK?’

She nodded. ‘Definitely OK.’

He smiled and kissed her hard. He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his hips as he walked up the steps carrying her out of the pool. He lay her down on a large sun lounger and she felt relieved and excited this was finally going to happen. He lay down next to her, still kissing her, and he made quick work of undoing the straps on her bikini bottoms and tossing it to one side. She reached for his shorts, but he caught her hand.

‘Not yet.’

She let out a moan of frustration and he chuckled. ‘It’s OK, I’m going to take care of you. Tell me, when you use your toys, what is it you think about?’

She felt her cheeks flush because she always thought of him, imagined it was him touching her. ‘I can’t tell you that.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because you’ll laugh.’

‘I promise I won’t.’

She shook her head.

‘OK, show me how you touch yourself.’

‘I’m not doing that either, that’s too embarrassing having you watch that.’

‘It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.’

She shook her head again.

‘OK, take my hand and use it to touch yourself, close your eyes, picture your deepest fantasy and work your magic.’

She hesitated for a moment then took his hand. She didn’t close her eyes because she wanted to remember this vividly, but she took his hand and guided it between her legs to the spot she needed him most.

‘There,’ she whispered.

He moved his fingers a few times and she arched off the bed with a cry.

‘Like that?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ she bit out.

The difference between her fantasies and reality were miles apart – his touch was strong and confident but gentle and loving at the same time. She took her hand away, letting him take over and it was utterly divine, it was everything she needed and more. His eyes were on hers the whole time as he brought her hurtling over the edge, screaming and crying out all kinds of noises she’d never made before.

As she came down from her high, her breath ragged, he got to his feet and scooped her up in his arms.

‘What are you doing?’

‘We need to take this upstairs. You carry on screaming like that, people are going to be calling the police thinking I’m murdering you.’

She laughed as she wrapped her arms round his neck. ‘I wasn’t that loud.’

‘You were, but I intend to make you scream louder, I want to hear you screaming out my name.’

He carried her upstairs and lay her down on the bed, lying on top of her and kissing her. He pulled back slightly to look at her, stroking her hair. ‘You still doing OK?’

‘Yes.’

‘We can stop if you want?’

‘Don’t stop.’

He kissed her again and then kissed her throat, her chest, trailing his hot mouth lower across her stomach and then he kissed her right there between her legs, making her cry out again.

‘Shay.’ She ran her hand through his hair, fisting her other hand in the sheet as he made her feel things she’d never felt before. She’d barely had chance to draw breath before her orgasm slammed into her so hard that for a second, she thought she was seeing stars. She shouted out his name, writhing on the bed, but he didn’t stop, wringing out every last drop of pleasure from her until she was breathing so hard it was like she’d run a marathon.

Finally, he stopped and knelt up between her legs. ‘You still OK?’

She nodded, too exhausted to speak.

‘You want me to carry on?’

‘Yes, I need you.’

‘Let me just grab a condom from my bag.’

She reached out to stop him. ‘I’m on the pill so you don’t need to, if you don’t want to.’

He stared at her.

‘You’re clean, I’m clean, but it’s your call. I totally understand if you’d prefer to use one.’ Orla said.

‘No, I want to feel you.’ he said, his voice was rough. He leaned over her, shifting her legs further apart to accommodate his large frame.

‘You let me know if it hurts.’

She stroked his face. ‘I trust you.’

‘Keep your eyes on mine, I want to see if you’re OK.’

She smiled up at him, his face filled with so much concern and then she felt him pushing slowly inside her. She suppressed the gasp of surprise at how big he felt inside her, but she didn’t want to worry him and it didn’t hurt, she felt so deliciously full of him.

He eased himself carefully out and moved back inside, so slowly and gently.

‘Are you OK?’ Shay asked.

‘Yes.’ She could see every muscle in his body was tensed. ‘Are you? You look tense, are you not enjoying it?’

‘Orla being with you is like winning the lottery but I’m trying really hard not to hurt you.’

‘I’m OK, I promise, you can relax, I’m not made of china.’

He let out a breath he’d clearly been holding. ‘You sure?’

‘Don’t hold yourself back for me.’

He settled himself between her legs and she wrapped her arms and legs around him, taking him deeper. He started moving faster but every move was still careful and gentle and it made her fall in love with him so much more. He was right, no other man would have taken this much care of her. He felt so divine, every touch, every movement from him was pure bliss, pleasure radiating through her. She started moving with him, her body responding to his almost instinctively.

‘You feel so good,’ Shay said, breathlessly.

The noise she made in response sounded like an animal in pain, which caused him to stop for a second.

‘You OK?’

She laughed, ‘Yes sorry, I’m not sure what that was, don’t stop.’

He smiled and started moving against her again and that pleasure started building until it felt like every nerve was on fire, she stroked his face and the look of complete love on his face made her heart soar and sent her hurtling over the edge, taking him with her, shouting out his name, making all manner of noises.

He stared down at her in complete awe, his breath heavy against her lips, then he rolled off her, bringing her with him so she was lying half on top of him and while she was still trying to catch her breath, he kissed her hard.

Orla couldn’t believe that had just happened. Whenever her friends talked about sex, they always said how they never really enjoyed it, that years of reading romance novels had set them up for a big disappointment, but making love with Shay had been glorious, not only because he had taken so much care with her, or even because being with him had been every fantasy come true, but it had been utterly incredible too and she just hadn’t been expecting that.

He was stroking her back as she lay on his chest and she looked up at him.

He watched her, his eyes filled with concern. ‘Was it OK?’

She smiled. ‘It was definitely more than OK, it was magnificent.’ She paused. ‘Was it… was it OK for you?’

He grinned. ‘Best sex I’ve ever had.’

She laughed. ‘That’s very nice of you to say but—’

‘It’s true. I’m not sure whether it was so good because it’s you and I… You mean the world to me, and most of the women I’ve been with I haven’t felt anything for, I never cared about them the way I care about you, but hands down it was the best sex of my life.’

Her heart leapt at this. She knew part of the reason why it had been so wonderful for her had been because she loved him. She suddenly wondered if he felt the same too.

She shook her head before she let herself go down that path. ‘Well thank you.’

‘You don’t need to thank me, I enjoyed it immensely.’

‘No thank you for just being so sweet and kind and considerate, and thank you for all this,’ she gestured to the house.

‘Oh, of course.’

She chewed her lip. It suddenly felt awkward between them and she didn’t want that. Had they crossed that boundary and now they could never go back?

‘So... what happens now?’

He cleared his throat. ‘That’s entirely up to you. I can take you home right now or we can hang out in this lovely house all weekend, using the pool, watch TV together or...’ he trailed off.

‘Or?’

‘Or we can spend the rest of the weekend having sex in every room of the house starting with having a shower together.’

She grinned and stroked a hand across his chest. ‘A whole weekend of sex sounds perfect to me.’

He smiled in relief and kissed her then stood up and scooped her up in his arms, which made her giggle, and carried her off to the shower.