Chapter Three

Jovie

"It's only weird if I make it weird."

Mariah won't stop laughing.

"He's hot. You should bang one out just for fun. You can't keep up this ‘saving it for marriage' thing forever. Plus, I bet he'd lose the attitude. Really, you'd be doing us all a favor."

I roll my eyes, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about Kade like that once or twice. "I'm not fucking him. This is business, and we're going to talk about business."

"Right… business. "

"What? People have business meetings. They have dinner. They discuss things. This happens all the time in the city."

She laughs harder. "It happens here too, Jovie, but not with Kade. He's not that kinda guy. He can't wait to get away from people at the end of the day. Have you met him? This is a date."

"He doesn't want to date. So, this isn't a date. He hasn't dated in years."

"How do you know?"

I sigh. "I'm so fucking dumb! Please, don't say anything. He told me earlier this afternoon."

"Right, and you two aren't going to fuck tonight?" She laughs as she says, "You should really hear yourself."

"No. I told him I'm a virgin, so he knows I'm not down for that."

"Okay," her laughter stops, "now I know you're losing it. You, Jovie, the San Diego sweetheart, talked to your much older boss about sex and your virginity, and you don't think this is weird?"

I've only known Mariah for a short time, but we became fast friends over her current issues and the drama with my called off wedding. I've never really been good at making friends, but Mariah makes it easy. She's a tell it like it is kind of person, and I value honesty, even when it hurts.

"Not at all." Even I know that's a lie. "It's not weird. We're two people talking, that's all." I pinch my lips together as I say, " He's just a person, and I'm just a person, and we're just being people."

"Sure… so tell me you're not into him."

"What?"

"Tell me you don't think he's hot."

"I don't think he's hot." Another lie.

"Really? So, you're not into big, burly, inked-up guys?"

"What?"

"Exactly." I can almost hear her eyes roll.

"Yes, he's attractive, but that doesn't mean anything. Lots of men are hot. This one is too old, and he's my boss. Plus, I like it at the tree farm. It's way more chill than my accounting job. Hell, if I had a choice, I'd stay here all year long and run it myself. There are so many things I see that could use improvement."

"Cool. You can tell your boyfriend over dinner tonight." She laughs. "I gotta run. The baby is kicking my dinner up my esophagus. I'm over this whole pregnancy thing and I've still got months left."

Mariah is five months pregnant with a baby her ex doesn't deserve. What is it about shitty men ruining everything?

"I'll bring breakfast tomorrow morning. Donuts from the bakery?"

"Donuts from the bakery," she repeats. "Now, don't be good tonight. Lose your virginity to your boss and take notes because these hormones have got my engine revved constantly, ya know what I mean?"

"Yeah, sorry, that won't happen, but I'll have loads of notes for you on the eclipse party."

"Boring!"

"Talk to you tomorrow." I climb up into the rental truck and tuck my phone into my purse. Kade lives on the tree farm, which is only half a mile from my rental, so the drive isn't long, but right now, I'm wishing it was a lot longer. I could use the time to decompress after that phone call with Mariah. I know she's just being ridiculous, but at the same time, she's not wrong. That conversation with Kade earlier was awkward as hell. I don't want to repeat that all over again. He can only pretend not to hear me so many times.

My phone buzzes as I pull into Kade's long, stone driveway. It's a classic white farmhouse set back into the tree line with a wide front porch and rocking chairs blowing back and forth in the wind. White lights are strung around the porch rails, and there's a wreath hanging on the front door with a bright red bow. This is the kind of place I fantasize about. The perfect little house. Well, truth be told, there's nothing little about this place. Judging by the windows, I'd guess there are at least five bedrooms.

What does he need all this space for? I think I'd be sad if I had this much room and no one to fill it with. I make a mental note not to mention that depressing detail, then pull my phone from my purse and glance down at the incoming caller.

It's Wyatt. He's been calling me every thirty minutes since our interaction earlier.

I don't know how long he's going to go without an answer, but right now, avoiding him feels right. When I'm with him, there are no active feelings, but I still have this lingering allegiance to him that I can't explain. Maybe that's what love is. It's history. It's commitment despite everything else. It's familiar and routine. Maybe love is the devil you know.

Blowing out a heavy breath of confusion, I step down from the truck. I need time to figure things out and space away from Wyatt to do that. Pretending to talk about the eclipse party is the perfect distraction.

I crunch over the packed snow on the driveway and make my way up the front porch. Kade meets me outside. I swear flannel and jeans are his everyday uniform. I'd bet the man sleeps in boots too. He holds two cups of steaming liquid and hands one toward me. "You want to sit outside for a bit? It's a nice night."

I'm trying not to be the California girl I am and beg to go inside, but sitting in nearly freezing weather seems like the Colorado thing to do, so I go with the flow and sit back on the porch swing next to Kade as the steam from the hot cocoa warms my face. A flurry of snow falls around us, and I gotta say, this is kind of perfect.

"I've never had a moment like this before," I say, looking toward Kade. He's so much bigger than me and you don't really notice it until you're this close.

"A porch swing moment?"

"No… well... yeah. I guess I've never had that either, but I was thinking I've never had a moment in the snow like this, where I sat with a cup of cocoa and watched it fall. That's probably a very basic thing to say."

"I like it, though. You appreciate the small stuff." He glances toward me, and when our eyes meet, I swear there's something more, something that shouldn't be there between a boss and an employee. "Not a lot of folks around here appreciate a cup of cocoa anymore."

I bite back a smile. "I'm sure that's not true. A cold night and a cup of something warm with good company is what people live for, right?"

"Good company?" His brows raise. "Shit, this is getting better and better. I don't think I've ever been called good company before."

I laugh. "Yeah, did you put something in this drink? This isn't the start of ‘Baby it's Cold Outside' … is it?"

A warm smile spreads onto his face and passes onto me. I'm not sure I've ever seen him smile before. I'm just realizing this now. "Not this time." He chuckles as he says, "Maybe someone else poisoned us. I'm feeling kind of relaxed myself." His arm stretches over the back of the swing, and though he hasn't directly put his arm around me, the warmth from his body is surrounding me and I kind of wish he would.

God, what the hell is wrong with me? I get one moonlit moment with a hot guy, and I forget all about Wyatt? I'm clearly a virtuous woman.

"So," I lean forward and pinch my lips together, "what are you thinking for the eclipse party?"

He drags in a deep breath and continues to push the swing back and forth slowly. "Well, it's Christmas Eve, so I'm thinking we have Santa show up on his sleigh and give rides through the pine forest."

"Won't Santa be busy on Christmas Eve? That doesn't make any sense." I grin. "What about Mrs. Claus? She could give rides through the forest. Or… maybe one of his elves?"

"Santa makes time on Christmas Eve for Evergreen Family Tree Farm. Everyone knows that." He narrows his brows playfully. "We could have a hot cocoa stand and sugar cookies."

"Oh, we could do a Christmas ho-ho-ho down in the barn during the eclipse. How fun would that be? We could ask Mullet if he knows any local bands that would be willing to perform."

"You've already made friends with the local bartender?"

"Yeah," I laugh. "It's where I've been hanging out most nights. He's retired now, but he still stops in quite a bit. They have some great bands down there on Fridays. You ever swing by?"

"Not in ages. That place is a meat market."

"What?" I raise my tone in sarcasm as I say, "No, it's not."

"Really? You make a lot of girlfriends out there or is it mostly dudes that want to make conversation?"

I screen back to the time I've spent at the bar. "Honestly, no one really talks to me at all except for Mullet, and he talks a lot about his kids and grandkids. It's nice. His story with his wife reminds me of some fairytale. He's so protective of her."

"He's a good guy," Kade nods and stares down at the pine boards on the front porch, "and his wife is pretty great too. The band idea is good. I have a guy that can cater some barbeque, and I think we'll be set if—"

Headlights interrupt Kade's sentence, and the tires from a small Toyota Corolla pop as it rolls up the driveway. It's a dark night, and the shine is so bright that we cover our eyes to avoid blindness, or at least I do. I'm sure Kade is staring straight into the light unblinking. He seems like he'd have that kind of intensity.

I glance down and see he has his hand rested on the pistol that's attached to his hip. I hadn't noticed he was packing until now.

My clit erupts in a heaping thrum of neediness that I seemingly can't control.

Great timing for that, and why is a gun turning me on? I hate guns. I think they should all be eradicated from existence. Yet, here I am, totally hard over this guy's rough hand on a pistol.

"You have a lot of enemies?" I look up at him and grin, trying to make light of this clearly tense situation. He's like a guard dog with the way he goes on alert.

"No, but I don't usually see guests this time of night."

The closer the lights get, the more blinding the brightness becomes.

"Why don't you head inside. I'll see what's going on."

I'm from San Diego. In San Diego, when someone pulls into your driveway, you wait for them to come to the door, and then you decide whether you want to ignore them, but it's his house and I do as I'm told, swinging open the porch door.

I'm almost inside when the car stops, and I realize the Corolla is the rental Wyatt's been driving.

My stomach sinks. He wouldn't do something crazy like show up here, would he?

Clearly, he would.

The car door opens, and a boot hits the ground. It's him. What the hell?

Kade glances toward me, then back at Wyatt. "This is private property."

"And you have my property, so…" Wyatt glances toward me. "What are you doing here? We need to talk."

I chew the inside of my cheek as my chest tightens. "Not now, Wyatt. You need to go."

"I'm not going without you, Jovie. What's this guy telling you? He doesn't know us."

A flush creeps across my cheeks and I swallow hard as my neck and ears turn impossibly hot despite the frigid air. How is this happening? Why is this happening?

Kade glances toward me. "You want to talk to him, or should I make him leave?"

I step forward, my heart racing. "Wyatt… please go. I'll call you later and we can talk things out."

He adjusts his feet, kicking the stones in the driveway. "Are you sleeping with this asshole? He's almost twice your age. You see that, right?"

Is there a rock somewhere I can hide under?

"Okay," Kade groans stepping down the front porch steps, "it's time for you to go."

Wyatt's a city boy. Back in the day, he may have fought a few jerks, but in reality, a train station fight with a drunk guy is a lot different from a fight with a big lumberjack who's carrying.

Wyatt takes a step back and redirects his attention toward me again. Must be I'm an easier target. "You're going to let your boss come between us?"

I shake my head. "You came between us, Wyatt, when you called off the wedding, remember? I'm here on work, and you're on the man's property. Now leave."

I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to tell him every plummeting fear and emotional pain he's put me through. Instead, I stand on the porch shaking, wondering how I'm ever going to make sense of why he's back, why he wants more, why he gets the option to do any of this… because he shouldn't! He shouldn't be able to come in and out of my life like some turnstile door that I can't uninstall for the life of me.

Kade finishes the porch steps and starts walking down the drive as Wyatt backs into his car. I swear if the man had a tail, it would be tucked between his legs.

"I'm calling you in the morning. Make sure you answer." His tone is firm, and I know he's feeling small and insignificant compared to Kade, but his words have my chest tight and angry.

When he's pulled out of the driveway, Kade looks back at me. "What a fucking asshole."

"Yeah, he really is." I look down then up again. "I… I'm so sorry. You're just trying to get work done. You trusted me, then hired me, and I'm causing all this drama. I should go." I don't let him answer me. I step off the porch, desperately trying to cover my heated face. Calling off the wedding was one thing, but embarrassing me in front of my boss is another.

"No. No. No." Kade grips my arm in his.

I turn back, lips parted, eyes locked on his.

"You're not going anywhere."

I laugh. "Yeah, I am."

"No. That asshole is probably waiting for you at your cabin. He's unhinged. He flew all the way out here to—"

"He's not unhinged. I've known him forever. He won't hurt me. He's just… not good at any of this."

"You make a lot of excuses for a man who hurt you."

I stare toward Kade with that warm feeling in my stomach again. The one that makes my clit throb, and my heart feel heard and seen.

"I mean… it was all emotional stuff. I can take it."

Kade laughs. "I should hold you captive until your mind catches up with what's happening because you're not making a damn bit of sense." He takes a dramatic pause to collect himself then makes direct eye contact with me as he says, "Now come back in the house or I'll carry you in."

Suddenly, I'm the one laughing. "I'd love to see you try and carry me." When the words come out, I'm not intending them to be a threat, but that's how they spill, and that's how Kade takes them.

In one quick movement, he bends down and picks me up like I'm a feather or a small child. There's no grunt or groan. There's no struggle at all. He just lifts me up onto his shoulders and carries me back into the house, locking the door behind him.

I know I should hate it. I know I should be kicking and screaming. I know I should rebel, but for the first time ever, my body knows what it wants… and it wants my boss.