13. Harper

13

HARPER

A s I shovel down my morning sludge, I’m wondering what the fuck came over me last night. It all sounded so reasonable. But then watching him fight messed with my mind and made me horny for alien dick, apparently.

I have no idea what entertaining my interest actually means. Are we supposed to be seen together? Are there some kind of rituals we’re supposed to do? Those are the questions I should have asked, not what he calls his fucking dick.

Yva and his brother walk into the dining hall, and I swear half the women in here turn and watch them with an audible sigh of longing.

Oh fuck, Yva’s walking towards me.

Why is he walking towards me?

I should smile. Without my teeth showing.

Do I look like a maniac?

He stops at my table, and there is an intake of breath from every woman watching. If Yva notices or cares, he gives no sign. “Come and sit with me.”

My mouth dries and I don’t know what to say or do.

Then he picks up my bowl and offers me his hand. I’m guessing this is one of those things that we are supposed to do. I swallow and stand, aware that a good portion of the women in this room are now glaring at me.

You sit with us now.

He does that silent talking in my head thing. I don’t know how to talk to him. Something else I should’ve asked about last night instead of his fucking dick. I’m not his mate…is sitting with him going too far?

No . He says in my head as though he overheard every thought I just had. You must be a good fit for my family, too.

If he can read my thoughts… Everyone will think we’re mates.

I do not care what everyone thinks.

He sets my bowl on the table, and I take the seat set aside for me. I’ve noticed that not every one of them is it every meal. Probably because of whatever job they are working.

“Hi.” I don’t belong here.

The women greet me, while the men collect bowls of sludge for the table.

I don’t know what to say. I can’t ask if this is normal because I don’t want other people overhearing. This is meant to dissuade other women from being interested. It’s what I wanted.

What he wanted.

Do I want him to be interested in me? Am I interested in him?

I mean, I enjoy working with him. And he’s not like other guys. Yeah, because he’s not human. Which should be terrifying and it’s not. I remember the way Ruby looked at her mate with obvious affection and the tenderness in his eyes as though he’d do anything for her.

I’m too hard edged. Too outspoken. Too… I remember all the ways people said I’m not a suitable partner. The way my last boyfriend, who was my age, told me he wanted someone younger. He was my match, but so was his next girlfriend and they’re still together. So clearly the issue was me.

What has Yva told his brothers?

Are they aware this is fake? Or do they believe he is really considering me as a potential mate?

Yva sits next to me, close enough that our thighs touch.

I want to draw away, but I like the reassurance and way he is untroubled.

“I do not want to eat this for breakfast for the rest of my life,” Sunif announces.

The other warriors all nod in agreement, while they eat as though it may be the last food they eat for the rest of the day.

“Can you not gather some of the plants you usually eat for breakfast? So we can grow more?” I wouldn’t mind something different for breakfast. I’m sure everyone in this room would like to eat something else occasionally, but sludge is important nutritionally.

“The plant on this continent isn’t quite the same as what they grow back home, and they don’t have any seeds. There was no point because they couldn’t settle and farm.” Mia says. She does not eat with as much enthusiasm as her mate. Did a few months away from the colony change her views on the food that much?

They had a whole village. Which means they built houses. They had found a way to survive.

“Why did you come back?” I blurt out.

Mia pauses with a spoon halfway to her mouth. “It’s complicated.”

Yva snorts. “It was much debated. But the smaller the tribe, the harder it is to survive. Any sickness or injury is harder to compensate for. Not only that but we were not equipped to handle any major injury.”

“We would have been an ageing tribe with no children. And that may have been fine for another ten years or even twenty. But bodies wear out and it is a hard life. I do not wish that for my mate. So when the offer was made we voted to take it,” Sunif says.

They gave up their way of life for their mate, knowing that they would be outnumbered, stared at, and hated by some. “That’s very brave.”

“It was necessary…the same way your parents did what they thought best to do more than survive.” Yva glances at me. “You need to finish your sludge.”

I stare at the unappetizing, greenish goop in my bowl. “This is nutritionally balanced for humans, not Honey. Maybe you could argue dietary requirements?”

“Chloe is doing that, and we are going to be having a mating celebration.” Sunif scrapes out his bowl already done.

“A mating celebration?”

“Yes. My brothers, who were blessed enough to find mates, need to celebrate being chosen,” Yva says as if it is a well-rehearsed line.

I have the feeling that these guys plan a lot more than they let on. That’s when I realize they are speaking in their language, not English, for this conversation. So even though everybody can understand them if they are wearing their comms device, it is clear the warriors don’t want people to understand how well they all speak English.

And I am one of the people who now knows several of their secrets.

“And when will this celebration be?” I ask to avoid eating more sludge.

“We are waiting for approval and permission to hunt.” Sunif touches Mia’s arm. It’s not only a gesture of tenderness, they’re communicating.

Are they talking about me or something else?

Yva touches my hand. Don’t look so concerned.

I feel like a fraud.

We are simply finding out if we will make good mates.

But it’s fake, isn’t it? I glance at him. Your brothers will hate me.

And I don’t want them to hate me…I’m enjoying their company.

No one is going to hate you if we decide it will not work. He gives me a smile and picks up his spoon, leaving me alone with my thoughts and far too many questions.

Is this not fake? Is he trying to determine if I will make a good mate? Wait, was that his way of suggesting I should choose him?

Ohhh…women may do the official choosing, but the warriors make their preferences known. And he has chosen me.