12. Yva

12

YVA

I pull on the soft blue pants of the colony and dry my hair as I wait for Harper to arrive. We didn’t leave on good terms today, but I didn’t expect her to seek me out, even though she watched the fights. Not that I expected her to be at the fight either, despite the crowd of women they attracted.

To be honest, I am growing tired of the attention. It was almost better when they stared and whispered and didn’t come close. Now they smile like wild animals preparing to attack and walk over, as they are doing me a favor.

I always believed that if I found a woman, that I would gratefully take her home. Now I can’t see myself returning home ever, and it doesn’t sit right within me. It’s like I am breaking an agreement with my tribe.

But a human woman cannot bear Honey children.

Does that make the situation different? It’s not as though any of us imagined meeting humans.

This is one of those things we debated around the campfire many times. One of the reasons we did not cross the ocean and return home is because we are so used to being brothers. Going home means separating, and as much as I love the family I left behind, they do not understand me the way my banished brothers do. We have fought together, hunted together, crossed the ocean and found the mythical continent and an even stranger people…

As much as the number of people is overwhelming, I am enjoying learning about them. Though I would rather hunt every day than wash and mend clothes.

There’s a soft tap on my door.

It’s Harper. The electrical charge of her heart is familiar enough for me to sense her without seeing her. I unlock the door to let her in.

“Errr…” Her gaze drops from my face and skims over my chest, then lower to where the colony pants cling to my meq. I am glad I gave myself some pleasure before showering, but even so, my body responds to her nearness.

“Come in.” I don’t want to talk in the hallway.

She steps in and shuts the door. “Did you want to finish getting dressed?”

I hadn’t been planning to put a top on. I only pulled the pants on because Edilk said Harper wanted to see me, otherwise I’d be naked. “I am ready for bed.”

“Oh…I’m sorry I…” Her gaze jumps away.

“I invited you in. It is fine.”

“Is it? Really? Because from talking to your brothers, I got the impression that it’s all a bit much.” She waves her hand. “I don’t want to add to it.”

“You are correct, but you are not adding to it. You wanted to see me because we argued?”

She presses her lips together and nods. “I didn’t want to leave things so tense.”

I sit on the edge of my bed, and she sits opposite me on the chair. Her eyebrows pull together. “You aren’t wearing your device.”

Shit. I took it out to shower and didn’t put it back in. “My English is good enough for a conversation.”

Her eyes narrow even though I practice my English with her when working together. “You like to let people believe you can’t speak English very well.”

“It’s always better to let people underestimate you. Would you prefer I put it in so that we can talk more easily?” In our little village we stopped using the whisperers. We used English with the human mates, and if we struggled, we communicated by touch, learning whatever word we needed.

She shakes her head. “Unless you need it? When did you learn?”

“We had months, and we didn’t want to rely on technology that was going to end up failing.”

“How did you learn?”

I consider her for several heartbeats, then I hold out my hand. “I’m not going to shock you. But that same charge allows us to communicate silently, not only with my brothers at a distance, but with humans if we are touching.”

She cautiously reaches out a hand and places it in mine. Her hand is so much smaller, though her palm is as rough as mine from work. Did you come here to try my jerky?

Harper laughs. “Oh my god. I heard your voice in my head. How is that possible?”

I don’t know. You don’t have kams, but you appear to be sensitive to the charge. Enough that it works by touch. Also, I’m using my language.

“Wow. And that’s how you learned?”

I release her hand before I become too accustomed to touching her. My body wants to do more than hold her hand. My meq hardens, pressing against my pants. I wish I had put on a shirt to hide the growing bulge.

“That is how I learned. Though there are plenty of words that I am missing—like washing machine and shower—so it is useful to wear.”

“It is compulsory to wear. That’s how emergency messages are broadcast.”

“And it was originally used on your ship, because not all humans spoke the same language.”

“Correct. The people on the ship came from many countries and spoke many languages, so we needed a device that could translate. I don’t think the scientists ever imagined it being used to translate an alien language.”

I don’t remind her that she is the alien on my world. “Since you are here, do you want to try the jerky?”

Her eyebrow lifts and her lips curve. “Sure.”

I stand, and with my back turned, rearrange my meq. I’m sure my reaction is only because we have joked about her trying my jerky, because the humans use meat as slang for their mating equipment, along with quite a few other words.

From the cupboard, I pull out a strip of jerky and break the piece in half, before offering it to Harper. “It is quite chewy.”

She watches me take a bite as if to be sure that it is safe to eat before doing the same. We sit in silence as we chew. I watch her face as she contemplates what’s in her mouth.

Harper appears to be concentrating, before eventually swallowing the first mouthful. “It’s different. Not terrible. Do you eat this often?”

“It’s a way of preserving meat as it’s not always possible to hunt…and sometimes there is nothing to hunt.”

“You remember how you said all the attention can be a lot? I got upset because all those younger women are throwing themselves at you.” She glances at the door as if she’s contemplating running away. “It was another reminder that… that most men…” She sighs. “I don’t know how to say this without making it sound ten times worse.”

“You were jealous?” I suggest.

She studies the jerky in her hand as if expecting it to bite her. “I don’t know. Maybe. I’m one of the oldest, one of the first children born on the ship. Most men want someone younger.”

“It seems that most human men aren’t thinking about what they want in a mate.”

She shrugs. “That’s because human men don’t mate for life.”

“That’s their loss.”

“Why did your brothers agree to let me talk to you?”

“They know we work together and are friends and that we talk a lot.”

She lifts her gaze to look at me. “Do they think you’re interested in me?”

I take a bite of jerky and chew while I consider my answer. “I do not know what they think. Would you like me to ask?”

“No,” she says too quickly.

She watches me, and I wonder what she is thinking. “I cannot stop other women from approaching me when they approach my mated brothers.”

“That’s because they can’t tell you apart.”

I give a single nod. “Which means you will be upset again.”

“I’ll learn to deal with it.” She gives a single nod. “I’ll have to.” That realization seems to make her sad.

“You are like a banished warrior. You have been given a fate that you cannot change and that you do not like.”

“My parents decided this one-way trip was better than staying on Earth.”

“So I have heard. And perhaps that was the best choice they could make, given the options that they had. Since you cannot unmake that decision, you need to make some new ones.”

“I don’t have any left to make.” She tears off a piece of jerky with her little white teeth.

How much clearer do I need to make myself? Does she see herself as that unsuitable, that the idea that I could be interested in her doesn’t cross her mind?

“Perhaps it might benefit us both if I say I am entertaining your interest. Then neither of us needs to deal with the unwanted attention.”

“But you will want a mate.”

I tilt my head. “Perhaps. But I have waited this long. Why do I care if it takes another year or another two?”

Eventually, the interest will die down and our presence in the colony will become mundane.

“Your brothers will all be mated, and you will have no one to have sex with.”

I tip my head back and laugh. “That is true. And what do you do for sex?”

Her cheeks redden. “It’s not considered polite to ask.”

“Then I apologize. Among my people it is quite common for the unmated to find pleasure with the same sex. I was curious if it is the same here.”

“Sometimes. Did you mean what you said?”

“Which thing?” I am teasing because I know she is thinking about my offer. It did not occur to me to make it until she was sitting in front of me confessing that she found the other woman’s attention distressing. Which means a small part of her likes me.

And I like that.

I like the way she laughs and the way she makes me laugh. There seems to have been so little of that in the last few years. We all expected to die crossing the ocean, but it was a grand last adventure to make. We have lived far longer than most banished, and since arriving on this continent we found a reason to live.

I don’t know if Harper will be a good mate for me, but she is becoming a good friend.

“About pretending that we’re dating.”

“Dating?” I’m not sure of the word.

“Seeing if there can be more between us.”

I smile. “Encouraging your interest.”

“Does that mean you can discourage my interest even though it is the woman who chooses her mate?”

“Exactly that. The woman may choose, but the warrior has the right to refuse. Some warriors choose to never take a mate because they do not want the lifelong commitment.”

She presses her lips together as she stares at me. “So I want to ask a very personal question.” Her cheeks turn red, and I can imagine the nature of the question. “How does the mating bond start? Is it with the actual mating ?”

“That is what we thought, but it seems to be direct contact with pussy juice?—”

Harper smothers a laugh with her hand. “Please never call it that again.”

I scowl, confused. I’m sure I used the correct words. “Then what am I supposed to call your mating channel?”

“Pussy is fine. Juice is a little…” She wrinkles her nose. “I don’t have a better word for it. Damn. There are so many words for men and their junk…what do you call your dick?” Her gaze darts downward. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

My meq jumps at the attention and I hope there are enough shadows to conceal it. To be on the safe side, I rest my elbows on my knee and lean forward. “I do not mind answering. Either mating equipment or meq.”

“So direct contact with my…” She points at her pussy.

“It seems that way. I would rather that information is not spread, as there is potential for misuse.”

“Did that ever happen in your tribe?”

He shakes his head. “You are talking about our most serious crime. More so than murder, because it is something the person must live with for the rest of their life. For a warrior, losing a mate is usually fatal.”

She places the last piece of jerky in her mouth, and I wonder what her tongue would feel like on my meq. I am rock hard and aching to find out.

“I understand why you do not want to rush this decision, and I am happy for you to entertain my interest now I have tasted your meat.” There is a glint in her eyes, which I’m hoping means she is interested in more than my jerky.