Chapter 10

"We should dae it now."

Cathleen was pacing back and forth in their quarters, nervously fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve. The one good thing about dressing in simpler clothes was that they were lighter, allowing her to move more freely around the room, and she took great advantage of that when she couldn't sit still.

It was the best time for them to go into Kian's study. It had already been an entire day since Bonnie had taken the key from the maid and sooner or later, someone was bound to notice it was missing, so they had to act fast. Now that it was dinnertime, everyone was either busy eating or busy serving, so they didn't expect to meet any resistance as they made their way to the study.

"Now?" Bonnie asked. "Are ye certain?"

"We dinnae have much time."

Neither Cathleen nor Bonnie had touched the dinner they had prepared. It sat on their large table, two plates entirely untouched. They couldn't stomach any food, not when the betrayal of their task was more palpable than ever, guilt coursing through their veins along with the fear of being discovered. Cathleen felt as though her stomach was filled with rocks, a heavy, inescapable weight pulling her downwards. Her mind seemed to be used to the constant state of anxiety and concern, but her body hadn't yet caught up. She could never draw enough air in her lungs. She could never calm her racing heart.

"Alright," Bonnie said decisively, standing from her seat. "Let us go, then."

The choice had been made and Cathleen didn't want to change the plan now, even if she was reluctant to go through with it. She and Bonnie left their quarters and headed to the main part of the castle without meeting anyone, just as they had expected. The walk up to the study was just as quiet, with no guards patrolling the corridors at that time of the day.

They had no reason to fear, after all. As far as they knew, there were no enemy forces within their clan. They thought themselves perfectly safe.

"I'll go inside," said Bonnie. "Stay here an' if anyone comes… well, dae reparin' ye can tae stop them."

Cathleen nodded, keeping her eyes wide open as Bonnie slipped quietly into the room. They didn't know what, precisely, it was they were looking for, but there was surely something worth telling Faolan in there. Cathleen only hoped Bonnie would have time to copy some of it or at least remember enough details to give over to Faolan before they ran a too high risk of being discovered.

Dinner, after all, wouldn't last the entire night.

Thankfully, the corridors were sufficiently lit by torches, making it easy for Cathleen to see if anyone was coming. Still, her heart beat so loudly that she could hear it, the thump of it strong in her ears. Logically, she knew no one else could hear it. Even if someone came, her heartbeat wouldn't carry through the air, and yet the irrational fear lingered.

I can dae this. If anyone comes, I'll warn Bonnie an' she will run out o' the room.

It was just her luck that at that very moment, footsteps echoed down the hallway. That same heart that had been beating frantically only moments before now stopped and within seconds, Cathleen was drenched in cold sweat, her hands trembling as she rushed to the end of the hallway so that she could intercept whoever was coming before they could get too close to the study.

Just as she reached the corner, she saw none other than Macauley approaching and she cursed softly under her breath.

"Macauley!" Cathleen shouted at the top of her lungs, hoping that Bonnie would hear her voice all the way from the study, through the closed door. "Ye're nae at dinner?"

"I only need reparing' from the study," Macauley said, frowning at her. "Are ye alright? Why are ye shoutin'?"

Naturally, Macauley questioned the volume of her voice, as any reasonable person would, but Cathleen didn't have an excuse ready to give him.

"Somethin' from the study?" Cathleen asked, just as loudly as before. She prayed silently that Bonnie would not only hear her, but that she would also find a place to hide in time, as there was no way Cathleen could stop Macauley from entering the room. He was already walking towards it and Cathleen rushed after him, her heart jumping to her throat with every step they took, teeth gritting together as she tried to hold back her tongue, to keep herself from demanding that he stopped.

That would only make him even more suspicious.

"Cathleen… are ye alright?" he asked once more as they came to a halt in front of the door, turning to look at her with concern. "Did reparing' happen?"

"I'm fine," Cathleen said, her voice high-pitched and breathless.

Macauley scrutinized her carefully, looking at Cathleen from head to toe as if he could simply define what was wrong with her with a careful look. She gave him a half-hearted, trembling smile, hoping it would be convincing enough, and only sighed in relief when Macauley opened the door, releasing her from his careful examination.

Only that relief was short-lived, as Cathleen remembered why she had been acting so strangely in the first place. Bonnie was still in the room and there was a very good chance Macauley would see her.

"May I come in too?" Cathleen asked, stopping him before he could step foot inside.

Macauley turned slowly, quirking a curious eyebrow. "Why?"

Why, indeed.

Cathleen's brain scrabbled to find a proper excuse. She tried to look into the study as Macauley pushed the door open, but she could only see through a tiny sliver, not nearly enough for her to see if Bonnie had managed to hide.

"Well, I have never seen a laird's study!" she said, telling him the first thing that came to mind and that didn't sound too strange of an excuse. "I hear they're so grand."

What for God's sake am I saying?

Macauley's frown only deepened, but then he gave Cathleen a small shrug. "Sure. Come in."

And then he opened the door fully and Cathleen braced herself as well as she could for the worst possible scenario—seeing Bonnie there, with no excuse for her presence.

But Bonnie wasn't there or at least so it appeared. She had managed to hide, it seemed, and Cathleen was so relieved that she had to suppress a laugh, biting hard on her bottom lip. Once her panic subsided, she looked at Macauley as he walked to the desk and rummaged through the papers there, grabbing two scribbled-on sheets. Then, her gaze drifted around the room, looking for any signs of Bonnie.

She found her only because she was waving her arm at her as Macauley had his back turned. She was huddled under a side table, curled in on herself so as to be as small as possible, but a careful look was bound to betray her presence. There was hardly anywhere else in the room for her to hide, though, and so Cathleen would simply have to make sure Macauley didn't look her way. Slowly, she moved towards the table, trying to cover as much of the view as possible, though she didn't know how much that could possibly help. If Macauley decided to get a better look, then there was no way she could hide Bonnie's huddled form.

When he turned to look at her, Cathleen forced a smile on her face. He approached her, but just as she thought she would have to distract him somehow, he came to a halt a few steps away from her.

"I wished tae ask ye reparing'," he said. For a few moments, he seemed conflicted, as though he couldn't decide whether he should ask her or not, after all. "I… would ye like tae spend a day with me?"

Cathleen blinked a few times, uncomprehending. Then, the meaning of his question sank in slowly and her eyes widened in surprise. She had to say no. She had to reject him now, while she still could.

"Aye," she said. "I would like that very much."

As Macauley grinned at her, she cursed herself quietly. Cathleen couldn't believe how helpless she was against her desire, how easy it was for her to be swayed like this, her mission and the problems that rose from it forgotten after a few sweet words.

She had given her answer, though. There was no turning back.

"Good," Macauley said. "I'll be busy fer a few days. Our scouts have spotted some suspicious men in our lands an' we must find out who they are. But then ye can have all me time."

As he spoke, he began to move towards the small table, trying to walk past Cathleen, but she couldn't let him do that. Once again, her mind fought against the limited time, desperately trying to come up with a way to stop him, and she did the first thing she could think of.

Grabbing him by the shirt, Cathleen pulled Macauley into a kiss. It was hesitant at first, barely a brush of lips, but then his hands cupped her cheeks and Cathleen melted into it, her lips parting as Macauley's tongue swept over the seam. Heat coiled deep within her, the first touch of Macauley's lips more intoxicating than any cup of wine but she still had to keep her wits about her. Though his eyes fell shut, Cathleen kept hers open, making sure that Bonnie had the time to slip out of the room unnoticed before she pulled back.

When they pulled apart, Macauley seemed as dazed as she felt, eyes glassy as he gazed at her. "What was that?"

"A kiss," Cathleen said, giving Macauley a small, coy smile. "I owed ye one from last time."

Macauley seemed a little bemused, but he didn't question it. Cathleen was certain he thought she was acting strange, but he never once suspected her or her motives. He trusted her too much for that.

"Is that all I get, then?" Macauley teased, looking at Cathleen over his shoulder as she finally allowed him to walk past her and grab a pen and an inkwell from the small table Bonnie had only recently vacated. "One kiss?"

Cathleen couldn't help but smile as she walked towards the door, pausing for a moment. "Perhaps," she said. "We will see if ye deserve another."

Before Macauley could say anything else, she rushed down the hallway and headed back towards the healer's quarters, putting as much distance between the two of them as she could. She had already allowed herself too much. She had already given in to temptation and she didn't know how to fix it.

The moment she entered the quarters, she found Bonnie hunched over the table with tears in her eyes. Cathleen sat beside her and took her hands in hers, holding them tightly.

The first thing Bonnie told her was, "We cannae dae this, Cathleen."

O' course we cannae. But what will we dae, then?

"I saw many o' the papers, but there was naething o' note," Bonnie continued. "There were nae battle plans, naething tae suggest they are reparing' fer battle. They are peaceful people, Cathleen. Kian even has a list o' all the villagers where he's written how he can help each an' every one o' them. How can we go ahead with Faolan's plan? How can we ruin these good people?"

Cathleen had no response for her, at least not one that was satisfactory. All she could do was hold her sister, trying to give her as much comfort as she could.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Bonnie looked at Cathleen with a small, sad smile, disentangling one of her hands to wipe the tears off her face. "I'm sorry ye had tae kiss Macauley so I could escape."

It was Cathleen's turn to smile just as sadly, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. "I'm only sorry I had tae deceive him. I wish I had kissed him only because I wished tae, fer nae other reason."

"Ye like him, then?" Bonnie asked, reaching over to cradle Cathleen's cheek in her hand.

"I dae," Cathleen admitted. "I like him much more than I should."

There was a choice they had to make. They could either go on with the plan and do as Faolan wanted, giving him whatever few secrets they could uncover and putting the entire Drummond Clan at risk, or they could tell Faolan they couldn't do this anymore. There was no point in their plan anyway, Cathleen knew. The Drummond Clan was not only peaceful but also powerful. How could Faolan go against them?

In that moment, Cathleen made her decision.

"Ye must write tae Faolan," she told her sister. "Ye must write him an' tell him there is nae point tae the plan, that it's impossible. Tell him the Drummonds are too powerful fer him tae attack them an' it will only result in the demise o' our clan. An' tell him… tell him they are good people. I doubt he will care about that, but we must try tae sway him as much as we can."

Bonnie nodded, wiping off her tears furiously as she searched for pen and paper. While she was writing the letter, Cathleen rummaged through their belongings to find the gold they kept for a time of emergency and took a sizeable amount out to give to the messenger boy. If he was going to leave in the middle of the night and keep all this a secret, then he would need sufficient motivation.

With the letter written and the gold secured, all Cathleen could do was pray Faolan would see reason. But how could a man like him ever see reason? She had tried to dissuade him before and it hadn't worked.

The only thing she could count on, perhaps, was the promise of ruin.