Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

MATTHEW

“ H ey, Naomi, you in here?” I call into the small office attached to the barn. I just got back from a supply run to Kalispell and I need to talk to her. Naomi has been working as my veterinary assistant since I started the clinic. If it weren’t for her, my business would probably have failed a long time ago. She manages to keep me on track and new business coming in. Now, I need her to do her magic again, but this time to find us a new location.

“I’m out back.” I hear her voice yell from around the corner.

Leaving the office, I cut through the barn and out the back door.

Even though Jessica and I had a breakthrough recently, we haven’t talked about her plans for the house. As much as I want to believe we’re going to work this thing out, I need to be smart and prepare for the worst-case scenario.

“Hey,” Naomi says as she brushes her hands off on her jeans. “Do you need help unloading the truck?”

“Nah, I’ve got that. I needed to talk to you about something else.”

She must sense from my tone that what I’m about to ask her isn’t the best news because her smile drops, and worry fills her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, yet. But I think we need to be proactive. Jess still hasn’t agreed to sell me the house. And honestly, at this point I’m not sure I’d take it from her even if she said yes. It just doesn’t feel right. Do you think you could start searching for an alternative location to run the clinic?”

Naomi eyes me cautiously before she speaks again. “No chance you two are going to work things out?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I’d like to, but I’ve made so many mistakes. Unless she can find a way to trust me again, chances are slim.”

This is the first time I’ve said those words out loud since Jessica returned. Now that they’re out, I want to take them back and forget I ever said something so awful.

“Can do, boss. But I don’t imagine I’ll have an easier time now finding a place ready with a house and a barn to use as a clinic. Not much has changed around here over the past couple years.”

“I know. If we have to, we can build a barn. I’m more financially sound than I was when I started. So, I don’t think our options are as limited as they were three years ago. Besides, it may not be necessary. Like I said, I think it's best we’re proactive, weigh all our options. I don’t want to be stuck without options if she decides to evict us.”

Naomi nods and I spin on my heels and walk away before she can say anything else. Having this conversation feels a little too much like an admission of failure where Jessica is concerned. But I have to be realistic and think about my business and my child. No matter how much I want to let my heart rule all my decisions right now, I have to be smart.

And the smart thing to do is to be prepared for the worst possible outcome—losing Jessica forever.

It’s late afternoon and blazing hot outside. I’m working in full sun, which doesn’t help. The fencing on one side of the corral was rotted and needed to be replaced. It’s hard work, but by the time I’m finished, I feel better. Sometimes all I need is some hard manual labor to work the stress out of me. And Lord knows, I’ve been dealing with my fair share of stress lately.

I wipe the sweat from my brow and gulp down some water. I only have about thirty more minutes of work and then I can call it a day .

I start packing up my tools when I catch movement out of the corner of my eye. I look up, and Jessica is walking toward me.

“Hey,” I say. She looks like an angel floating toward me with the way the sun shines behind her. Her blond hair has a golden glow around it and her pale blue sundress flows around her legs in slow wisps that show off her sexy curves. She smiles and my heart stops. If I wasn’t a sweaty mess, I’d pull her into my arms and kiss her senseless.

As she nears, her eyes rake down my body. The heat in her expression is evident, making me rethink my decision to keep my hands and lips to myself. I tossed my shirt hours ago because it’s hot out here. I may be sweaty and dirty, but based on her reaction, I’m guessing Jessica likes the look of my bare chest.

“Hey.” She clears her throat. “Sorry to interrupt, but I was hoping we could talk without little ears around to hear.”

I nod, not sure if this is a good or bad conversation. She doesn’t look upset, but if she doesn’t want to risk Emmie overhearing it, it could be bad.

“You look busy, so if you want to tell me when would—”

“Now’s fine.” I point to the bench behind the barn. “I could use a break anyway.”

I grab my water and lead the way. She sits down next to me and sighs. She doesn’t look at me and fidgets with the skirt of her dress. She opens and closes her mouth at least three times but still doesn’t speak. Whatever is on her mind, it’s not easy for her to say.

I reach over and squeeze her hand. She shifts her eyes to mine, and I smile. “Just spit it out, Jess. Whatever it is, I’ll deal with it.”

She swallows hard and nods. “I talked to Adam a few days ago. He told me something about you, and I’d like to know if it’s true.”

“All right.” I look away and my breathing increases. I can’t imagine what Adam would tell her that would cause her to come here like this. “I’ll be honest with you. Ask me whatever you want.”

“That weekend of my graduation, the one where you saw me with David and assumed I was dating him.”

She pauses, and I tense. I know where this is going. Adam had no right to tell her what I think she’s about to ask me. He and I will have words later .

“Is it true you bought a ring?” she asks.

I drop her hand and push up from the bench. I never planned on her finding out about that. This isn’t a conversation I ever thought we’d have. But I told her I’d be honest, and I meant it. “Yes, I did. I saved every penny I’d made for two years to get it for you. I even asked your dad for your hand in marriage.”

I turn around to face her. She’s still sitting on the bench, watching me with sadness in her eyes.

“I waited in the hallway for you to exit the stage after your graduation. I planned on dropping to my knees as soon as you saw me. Your parents were waiting outside for us to come out together so we could celebrate.”

“And when you saw me with David, you assumed I’d moved on.”

“I did. My heart dropped out of my chest. I couldn’t propose to you if you were happy with someone else. And trust me when I say you looked over-the-moon-happy.”

“Of course, I was. I just graduated. It was a great reason to be happy.”

“I know. You were so happy you didn’t even notice the look on your parents face when we walked outside. They were ready to congratulate us. Your dad took one look at me and knew something was wrong. It was the most awkward dinner I’ve ever sat through, and you didn’t notice any of it. That just made my assumption feel so much more real.”

She walks over to me and takes my hand. “I’m sorry. You must have thought me the most insensitive person ever.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for. This was all my fault for jumping to conclusions. You were moving on with your dreams—a dream that I didn’t think had a place for me in it.”

She leans forward and lightly kisses me. “You were my dream, Matt. You were all I ever wanted. Sure, I love my business, but that’s just a job. I wanted you more.”

“Then why did you stop calling me?”

She shakes her head. “You’re the one who stopped calling me.”

“Only after you were always too busy to talk to me. We were always playing phone tag. You never answered, and then you never returned my call. When you didn’t come to my graduation, I finally accepted that I was right, and you were done with me.”

She squeezes her eyes closed and wrinkles her nose. “I had an investor meeting in New York the same day as your graduation. I knew if I missed it, I wouldn’t get another chance with them. God, I am so stupid and so sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. You did nothing wrong. I’m responsible for the damage from those years. I started dating Emily right after your graduation, and well, we know how that turned out.”

“Yeah, well, as much as that whole thing kills me, Emmie is pretty great. It’d be a shame if she weren’t here.”

I smile and squeeze her hand. “Thank you for that.”

She nods quickly and clears her throat. “You’re wrong about one thing, though. I do owe you an apology.”

“What could you possibly have to be sorry for? This is all on me.”

“No, it’s not. I purposefully never told you about my friends or business plans. I’d known David and Blaire for years and never once mentioned them to you. I never told you about my success because I was afraid it'd create a deeper wedge between us. I was afraid if you saw my life in Seattle, you’d use it against me as a reason why you didn’t belong in my world. It was dumb, but there you have it.”

I can’t help but chuckle at her logic because she’s right. I would've pulled away more to give her the space to grow.

She looks up at me with a nervous smile. “I guess we suck at communication, huh?”

“Yeah, I suppose.” I tug her closer and drop my forehead to hers. “Where does this leave us, now?”

“God, I wish I knew. I wish it were easier for me to let it all go. But maybe … maybe we can …”

She shakes her head and runs her hands up my chest. Her hands are cool against my hot skin, and her touch sends a shiver through my body. She feels so damn good that I can hardly stand to keep my hands to myself.

“What is it Jess? Just say it, please.”

She leans back and looks up at me, hope in her eyes. “Maybe we can start over. Date again and see where things go. I’ve decid—”

I don’t give her a chance to finish. I wrap my hand around her neck and kiss her. Hard, deep, completely. I don’t wait for her to decide to let me in, I plunge my tongue into her mouth and claim her like I’ve been wanting to since the day she came back into my life.

I’m sure whatever else she had to say is important, but I heard all I needed to hear. She’s willing to give us a chance, and I’ll take it.

I slow the kiss down and cup the sides of her neck with my hands. I want her so badly, but this isn’t the time or place. If I keep kissing her like that, I’m going to be so hard and turned on, I’ll come in my jeans.

“So, that’s a yes.” She smiles against my lips.

Pulling back, I grin. “Baby, that’s a hell yes .”

Her smile grows and she gives me another light kiss. “Any chance you can come out tonight?”

“I always meet my siblings and a few friends at The Wine Room on Thursday, but if you want to do something else, I can change my plans.”

She shakes her head. “No, that’s perfect. That’s where I was planning on asking you to meet me. I’m making an announcement tonight, and I’d like for you to be there.”

I search her eyes and all I see is happiness. Her lips tick up into a playful grin and I know. “Fuck, you’re moving back. Is that what you were going to say before I cut you off?”

She laughs. “Yes, but I rather enjoyed being cut off this time.”

I no longer care that I’m all sweaty and gross. I lift her into my arms and spin her around. We still have a lot to work through, but Jessica just made me the happiest man alive.