Chapter 4

4

S he shouldn't have screamed. It had been a mistake, but somehow she'd fallen asleep and she'd been dreaming … of Chad. His hands around her throat, his black eyes so full of hate simply because she was alive . She had no strength to fight him in the dream. She'd been even more helpless than she had been when it actually happened.

A soothing, deep baritone voice broke through her spiraling. Her body was still reeling, temporarily locked in the aftermath of the dream. The voice broke through those bad memories, like a hand reaching through the crushing darkness of a vast sea and pulling her back to the surface, where she could breathe.

She stared into the concerned brown eyes that watched her. The man … Indiana… The man who'd saved her from the bear and carried her to his home. She was safe with…him.

"You okay?" he asked again.

"Yeah, no, it was just a … bad dream." She brushed her hair out of her face and rubbed her eyes. She felt like she'd been run over by a truck and she knew she would only feel worse tomorrow when the soreness set in. He stared at her a long moment, his gaze gentle but clearly searching for something, but she wasn't sure what. She had the strangest feeling he was going to say something… Something that would profoundly change her life, as mad as it sounded. And she wanted to hear those words that would change her, save her from the maelstrom of pain and fear she'd endured. He blinked suddenly and glanced away, breaking the connection they'd shared in that instant.

"We're … uh … at the clinic." Indiana nodded at the building he'd parked in front of. She glanced around little town of Aspen Falls. She had wanted to explore it when she and Chad had driven down Main Street yesterday, but he'd refused. He had been too eager to get to the trail and now she knew why. Her stomach turned queasy again and her chest tightened. Shoving thoughts of Chad away, she studied the little shops with their cheery storefronts. It was exactly the way she pictured a cozy small town should look, and she loved it.

"This is Aspen Falls? It's beautiful. I wanted to stop here and … never got the chance." She managed to give him a brief smile, which felt totally worth her aching face.

"Wait a second. I'll help you out." He watched her for a moment before he got out of the car and walked around to her side to open the door for her.

Then he lifted her up and set her down with such gentleness and ease she felt like a little kitten in his large hands. He went up the steps to the clinic door ahead of her and opened it, letting her pass in front of him to enter. A bell jingled above their heads and Hadlee recoiled from the sudden, unexpected sound.

"Easy," Indiana whispered, and put a hand on her lower back, letting her feel his presence behind her.

A single receptionist at a desk behind a sliding glass window and looked up as they approached. The woman's smile faltered into a shocked look as she saw Hadlee.

"The sheriff mentioned you'd be coming in." The woman pulled out a clipboard. "You feel okay enough to fill this out for me? We'll get you back to the doc soon and she'll get you all sorted out."

"Yes, thanks." Hadlee hesitantly collected the clipboard and eased into a chair in the waiting room to fill out the intake form. Her hand ached, but she scribbled her information down as quickly as she could. She had a feeling it would be hard to be around new people for a while, even nice ones. Only Indiana seemed to make her feel comfortable.

Hadlee returned the clipboard when she was done and promised to call the clinic with her insurance information once the police were done with her suitcase and backpack. She was taken back to an exam room by a male nurse who took her vitals and told her the doctor would be in to see her soon. As she'd been taken back, she'd glanced at Indiana, afraid he'd leave.

"I'll be right outside," he promised. "I won't leave."

How did he know what she needed to hear? Why did she need so much to hear him, a complete stranger, say that to her?

She sat on the edge of the exam table, flinching at the crinkling paper beneath her.

She hadn't been waiting long at all before the exam room door was opened by a woman in a long doctor's coat with honey colored hair pulled into a ponytail. Her eyes were blue and full of a deep kindness that couldn't be faked.

"Hadlee Wilson?" she asked, glancing over the chart she picked up from the end of the table.

"Yes."

"Sheriff Wade called in and told me to expect you. I'm Doctor Ember Ravenwood." The woman flipped through the chart as she spoke.

"Nice to meet you." Hadlee tried for a smile but felt the wobble at the edges of her lips.

"Uh-uh," Dr. Ravenwood shook her head in a kind way. "You don't have to do that, not here."

"Do what?"

"Pretend you're okay." Dr. Ravenwood stepped closer and Hadlee realized with a start that the woman was around her own age, maybe slightly older, and stunningly beautiful.

"You know it's okay to not be okay. Now, walk me through things. Tell me what happened but focus on what that assho—er … assailant did to you physically. I need to list the injuries in my report for the sheriff's office, but also I need to know what to treat you for."

Hadlee drew in a deep breath and explained the story again. God, when would all of this be over? She just wanted to go home to Chicago. But even home didn't feel as safe as Indiana's cabin.

When she was done, Dr. Ravenwood x-rayed her ankle, confirmed it was just a sprain, and gave her a special soft ice pack that fit around her foot. The rest of her injuries were patched up and her broken ribs examined with care after yet another x-ray. The doctor explained that the fractures were small, and she would heal well. Hadlee's orders were clear: She was to rest and to stay in town for a few weeks if her job would allow it, so she could avoid the strain of a long drive or flight back to Chicago.

Hadlee called her boss before leaving the exam room, briefly explained the situation, and they allowed her another week of time off. She'd already requested a full week for her intended trip with Chad so all she really had to do was get approved for a second week. The nurse filled a prescription of antibiotics and pain meds, and she was sent back into the small waiting room.

Indiana's large, muscled frame was squeezed into one of the tiny little chairs. He had a children's magazine open sideways, and seemed to be studying some sort of maze on the page. He growled and put the magazine back down, scowling. She giggled and the sound had him bolting out of his chair to face her.

"You ready to go home?"

Home . His home. For a moment she almost thought it was hers too.

"Yes, I have medicine and my instructions for my ankle and my ribs." She waved the bag containing her medications and the icepack.

"Good." He took the bag from her and led her outside to the car. Her stomach rumbled when they were halfway there.

"Wait, you mentioned something about taking me to the best diner in town?" she asked. He had offered to get her food, hadn't he? Normally she wouldn't have reminded someone of an offer, but she was starving.

Indiana's concerned frown vanished. "I did, didn't I?" He grinned and pointed to a business across the street. "It's right there."

A hand-painted sign that said Jo's Joint hung above the windows of a restaurant.

Indiana walked with her across the street, and they chose a booth by the big window once they were inside. A woman in her late forties who wore a light-blue dress with an apron came over to take their order. Her dark hair was lightly threaded with silver and pulled into a messy but somehow completely elegant-looking bun, with loose tendrils which framed her face. Her gray eyes were sharp enough to miss nothing, but they held no judgment.

"Afternoon, Indy." The woman smiled at him and pulled her notepad out of her apron pocket. "The usual? Full pancake stack, two eggs, sausage, and a bowl of oatmeal?"

"That'd be great, thanks," Indiana said. "Jo, this is Hadlee, she?—"

Jo's face softened and she placed a hand on Hadlee's shoulder. "What do you want, sweetheart? Whatever it is, it's on the house. We serve breakfast all day, plus lunch and dinner."

"Oh, but I can pay you—" Hadlee began.

"Honey, we women stick together. Now let me feed you. What would you like?"

A little flustered, Hadlee examined the diner's laminated menu. "Um … could I have French toast please? And hot chocolate?"

"Done." Jo walked back toward the kitchen to drop the order off.

"Why do I get the feeling she knows what happened to me?" Hadlee whispered to Indiana. She was completely mortified, but another part of her was deeply touched by the woman's care and concern.

"That's the hazard of being in a small town. Everyone knows your business all the time." The way he scowled as he said this gave Hadlee the feeling he wasn't just talking about her business. "The people in this town are good. Hell, most small towns in the middle of the country are. They remember what it means to be a community. You look out for everyone." Indiana glanced out the window, his face shadowed with unspoken words, which Hadlee saw quite clearly were full of pain.

"Have you always lived here?" she asked a little hesitantly. She didn't want to overtly pry into her rescuer's life, but she did want to understand him.

"No, not here. I was born in Indiana."

She flashed him a disbelieving look.

He blushed. "It's true—and yeah, that's where the name comes from. My parents were natural roamers, and my mom thought it would be a nice reminder of where I was born. I guess it's good she settled on the name of the state, rather than the town, given I was born in a place called Boonville."

Hadlee surprised herself with a laugh. "Boonville? That would have made for a fun name."

He rolled his eyes but grinned.

She sobered and tilted her head at him. "You said your parents were natural roamers—does that mean you didn't stay in Indiana long?"

He nodded. "After Indiana, we headed west, I think. I don't remember a lot of the details before we ended up in Alaska."

The slight hitch in his tone pinged some instinct in the back of Hadlee's brain, but she pressed on. "How old were you in Alaska?"

"When I left I was about fourteen." He blew out a breath and rubbed a hand down his face. "My parents died there, in a car accident. And then it was just me, on my own."

"Wait—at fourteen? What about Child Protective Services? Hadlee leaned towards him, concerned to know how a fourteen-year-old boy had grown into a man all alone.

He shook his head. "My community was really small. Child Protective Services wasn't really aware of us. There wasn't anyone I could stay with, so I left. I made my way south through Canada and then into the states. I passed some time in Montana before heading to Washington. I worked a lot of odd jobs, first logging and then other types of manual labor. Then I started showing my bosses my natural computer skills. I studied for my GED at night and after I passed, I applied for college in Colorado and got in with a full ride thanks to my test scores. I studied computer engineering, graphic design, and coding. After getting my degrees, I moved here, bought my land, and built my house."

Hadlee gazed at him in complete awe. He had taken control of his life and made it exactly what he wanted, no matter the obstacles. God, she envied him. When he caught her staring, she blushed and looked down at the table between them.

"You're lucky," she whispered. "When my parents died, I thought I could handle everything. My life seemed like I was always one mistake away from a complete disaster. Somehow I managed to keep my head above water, finish college, and get a job, but I haven't felt like I've been going in the right direction for some time." She twirled her napkin between her fingertips. "How did you know where you wanted life to lead you?"

Indiana's jaw clenched briefly, and then he relaxed and sipped his coffee.

"I suppose the simplest answer is that I searched for peace," he said after a long moment. "Wherever I felt my instincts pulling me, that's where I headed, and they brought me here. I haven't moved in seven years. For me, that's a long time. It's the closest I've ever felt to true peace."

She rubbed her arms, suppressing a shiver. "I feel it too, that sense of calm here. It was strange, but when Chad and I started our hike, I had the oddest feeling, like I was supposed to be here. I guess that's one of the reasons why I never expected him to do … what he did."

Indiana reached across the table and clasped one of her hands in his own.

"Use the words, Hadlee. Say them and they will hold less power over you."

"He attacked me." She exhaled and Indiana gave her an encouraging nod. "Is it weird that it felt like the woods protected me? When Chad tried to kill me, it was like the trees were listening? Maybe that bear heard me, or the trees or… Hell, I don't know what I'm saying. I sound crazy, don't I?" she asked. Butterflies stormed against the walls of her belly as he curled his fingers tighter around her own and held her gaze.

"That's not crazy," Indiana replied. "Nature has its own laws, which sometimes are more brutal but ultimately more fair than men would allow."

"Well, if the trees were listening, I'm grateful to them."

When Jo returned with their orders, Hadlee was stunned by how hungry she was. Indiana didn't seem to notice she ate everything on her plate. Chad always made snide comments about her weight. She stilled with the last bite of her food perched on her fork. God, when had she become such a fool? He'd been controlling her through food too, basically starving her because he was an abusive, narcissistic asshole.

She ate the last bite of her French toast, truly savoring the taste and knowing she was free of him. She was done with Chad; done with all the brainwashing he had subjected her to in only six months.

She wanted her life back.

Indiana felt something change in the little female in front of him. The whisper of her thoughts teased his mind like murmurs on the other side of a gossamer curtain. Sometimes he could hear her almost as clearly as he could hear his own thoughts and the thoughts of his bear. Other times her inner voice was completely silent or very muted. What did it mean? He had always believed it was a sign of a true mate to hear the other person's thoughts, but he'd begun to believe what little he'd been told about mates might be nothing more than a fairy tale.

Was mating with a human and having a true mate connection with one even possible? Not having grown up in a bear clan, he knew far less about his own species than other bears did. He hadn't been lying to Hadlee when he'd said his community was small. And by the time he'd visited a bear clan in Montana, he'd been too embarrassingly old to ask questions like this of the other bear shifters. He still had the contact information for the alpha of that clan though. Perhaps he should call him and ask some questions when he had a chance. The alpha had become a friend to him and while he hadn't called him often, he knew his friend would answer if he did.

"Thank you for breakfast. I can't believe how hungry I was." Hadlee pushed her empty plate away and let out a sigh of pure satisfaction. As a bear who loved to eat, he knew the sound well and it aroused him to hear it from a female. If she stayed with him for a while, he would cook for her and make sure she had plenty to eat. A well-fed female was a happy female. He'd been raised to believe females should be happy, and it was his job as a male to make his female happy.

She wasn't his though, damnit. No matter how much he might want her to be.

He cleared his throat before replying. "You're welcome." When his cell phone vibrated in his pocket, he pulled it out and glanced at the text. "The sheriff says your suitcase and other belongings are ready to be released to you. We can pick them up now if you want."

She brightened. "That would be great, if it's not too much trouble."

"It's not," he promised. He liked being around this woman, liked her smile, her laugh, the way she talked and her thoughts about the world. He'd only just begun to get to know her, and he was already completely fascinated.

He left a few bills on the table to pay for their breakfast and waved at Jo before they left.

"You bring her back soon, Indy," Jo called after them.

"She's really nice," Hadlee commented as she stepped out onto the street. "She reminds me of a protective mama bear."

This comparison made him laugh. "She would make a good mother bear."

He escorted Hadlee to the sheriff's station at the far end of the main street and once inside, they met the receptionist, Tiffany.

"Hey Indy, heard you got babysitting duty." Tiffany was close to Hadlee's age, and she shot Hadlee a sympathetic look. "I heard what happened, Miss Wilson. I am glad you're okay."

"Thanks," Hadlee said.

Indiana was glad Tiffany was supporting Hadlee, not judging her. Too often he'd seen people blame the victim of an assault and it was time that changed.

"Sheriff!" Tiffany called over her shoulder toward the open office door behind her. The glass walls revealed the sheriff seated at his desk with a slew of case files stacked haphazardly around him. He glanced up and waved at Indiana and Hadley. Then he hit an intercom button on his desk and spoke to someone before he came out to meet them.

The sheriff cleared throat. "Ms. Wilson, we contacted Mr. Parker's family, and they have been informed of his death. I wanted to speak with you about how much you want me to tell them concerning what happened before he was killed."

"You mean the assault?" Hadlee asked.

She started to tremble, and Indiana put a hand on her shoulder. She seemed to calm a little at his touch, and he lightly squeezed his fingers, massaging the tension out of her muscles.

"Yes. Given that he's dead, we can't exactly press charges for the assault. There's no way for us to prosecute him for the crimes against you. But we can still share the details of what happened. It's your choice."

Hadlee glanced down at the floor, then suddenly turned to face Indiana. "What would you do?"

He was stunned that she wanted to know what he would do, but it also humbled him that she would trust him and his opinions.

"If it was me, I would tell everything. But that means people will look at you and know what happened to you. The assault doesn't change who you are, no matter how differently everyone might look at you. You are the one who must decide what matters to you. The truth can hurt, but sometimes it is the right choice."

She bit her bottom lip, her green eyes large and luminous as she stared back at him. He could feel the flutter of her thoughts in his head.

Can't let anyone know ... but it isn't right for people to mourn the death of a monster, were her unspoken words.

Hadlee faced the sheriff again. "I want to tell the truth about everything."

Wade shot a look at Indiana, and Indiana knew what the man was thinking.

Not everything. No one could know a bear shifter had killed Chad Parker.

"Very well. I will inform the authorities in Chicago and Parker's family." Wade retrieved some paperwork from Tiffany's desk. "Sign these release forms for your belongings."

Hadlee signed the papers and handed them back to Wade.

"Could you stay in town a few days more, just in case we need to conduct any follow-up interviews or have questions? There's a nice little motel about midway down Main Street."

"Or you can stay with me," Indiana volunteered at once, shocking himself. "If you want to, that is," he adding in a slightly embarrassed murmur as he stared into the forest of her eyes. She wouldn't want to stay with him, a stranger, a man, the damned bear who'd killed her boyfriend. What was he even thinking?

"Um ... that might be good, if you don't mind," she said after a moment.

"Are you sure, Ms. Wilson?" Wade asked. "You would be out in the woods where that bear attacked you."

Indiana shot the sheriff a hard glare.

"Honestly, the woods don't scare me, sheriff. The bear attacked Chad and left me alone. Besides, I think I rather like the quiet out there."

Wade sighed. "Well, it's quiet in town most of the time too."

Indiana snorted. "Only during the day. At night, loggers, farmers, and cowboys come to town to hit the bar and grill for drinks and dancing. It's not so quiet then."

"True enough," Wade agreed. "Well, let's get your stuff, Ms. Wilson." Wade went into the evidence lockup room and brought back a rolling suitcase and a backpack.

"We put your wallet and phone inside your hiker gear bag," the sheriff said.

Indiana took the backpack before Hadlee could grasp it and slung it over his shoulder. Then he collected the rolling suitcase in his other hand.

"Indiana, you don't have to?—"

"You're still healing," he reminded her. "I don't think the doc would like you tossing suitcases around with those broken ribs."

She finally sighed, acquiescing. "Thanks, Sheriff," she said.

"Sure thing." Wade nodded back at her.

Tiffany called out as they reached the door. "If you want to hang with any girls, Hadlee, you call the station for my cell phone number. Jo and I like to go tease the cowboys on weekends, and tomorrow night is Saturday night."

"Thanks," Hadlee said to Tiffany, her face flushed red with a blush.

Indiana grunted as he exited the station. There was no way he'd let Hadlee tease any cowboys. The bear in him agreed. It was too dangerous to let her be around men after she'd been hurt. She needed to be rested, fed, and … well, cuddled, damnit. And that was what bears did best. As soon as he could, he wanted to get her bundled up on his lap and just hold her until her fears subsided. But he'd have to work to earn her trust.

He loaded Hadlee's luggage in the back of the Bronco and helped her into the vehicle.

"You still want to stay with me?" he asked one more time.

Her face was still red as she nodded. "You feel safe. I probably have some kind of rescuer syndrome, but it's true. The woods feel safe too. Even the bear—" She halted.

"Even the bear what?" he asked, bracing one booted foot on the runner of the Bronco as he kept the passenger door open to talk to her.

She fiddled with her seatbelt straps. "Even the bear feels safe. The worst he could do was kill me and maybe eat me, but then I'd be dead. So it wouldn't matter."

He hated this, hated that women had to frame the world in such a way that being dead was safer than having to suffer unspeakable horrors at the hands of men. Half the population of this planet lived nearly every day of their lives in terror and fear of what the other half would do to them. He couldn't imagine what that would be like.

"I know good men exist. I know not all men are like Chad, but we don't have a way to tell the good from the bad," Hadlee admitted, as if reading Indiana's thoughts.

Indiana reached up, cupping her chin in his palm. She was so touchable. He felt like a villain for thinking about how much he wanted to hold her and do so much more, especially after what she'd been through. He started to pull his hand away, but she leaned forward, catching his wrist with her slender, beautiful fingers.

"You keep pulling away from me like that, why?" she asked.

"I figured the last thing you want is a man touching you."

"Oh, right…" Her shoulders sagged slightly. "But Chad was the one who hurt me. Indy, you aren't Chad. I don't want to be forced to give up physical contact with people, especially men, just because of him."

God, this woman was brave. He wouldn't blame her if she wanted nothing to do with men in general ever again, but here she was, stating she refused to let that asshole ruin her life, even after he was dead.

"Okay," he said after a moment. "But if I do or say anything you don't like, you need to tell me. I don't know what it is about you but…" But I want to touch you , he added silently.

Then touch me, her voice replied in his head, startling him. He blinked. The thought had been so clear, like when he'd heard her pleas for help in the woods.

He once more lifted his hand to cup her chin and stopped letting his doubts crowd his mind. Indiana brushed the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip, lost in thoughts of taking that lip between his teeth and nibbling away at it. Bears did like to nibble. A lot. And Hadlee was as edible as they came. Just thinking that she might be a mate for him was too dangerous, too tempting. His bear was going to be impossible to control for long.

"Let's get you back to my place so you can shower and rest."

While she did, he would have a few calls to make in order to get some answers about what he and his bear were feeling for her.