Chapter 10

I already knew the answer—she had no experience with this lifestyle.

Yet there was no denying how badly I’d fucked this up.

She’d fallen into a near-submissive state, leaning on me for my strength during what had to have been a traumatic moment of seeing her brother at a sex club with his best friend, and I’d told her to leave.

Worse, I’d made her feel small.

Rejected.

“I hate you.”

Those three words would forever haunt my mind. Because she’d meant them. I wasn’t sure when or where we’d gone so wrong, but this was the only way I knew how to fix it—by giving her what she needed.

She stared up at me with big, watery blue eyes. “D-dominating me?”

“Yes. We started a scene when you went to your knees, and I unfairly ended it.” I released her chin to cup her cheek. “I read all your cues. I knew you were interested. But I allowed other factors to influence my mindset. It won’t happen again.”

Because I was firmly treating her as Jen. A baby sub. Brand new to this world. Probably not even aware herself of how easily she’d fallen into her role here.

That made her mental state fragile.

She might not even be ready for this.

Perhaps we should start there instead since she didn’t seem keen on sharing her history.

“Why did Adalyn bring you here tonight?” I asked, opting for this route of questioning. “Did she tell you what Ecstasy is about?”

She nodded, her eyes drooping a little as the motion caused her cheek to rub my palm.

“What did she tell you?”

“It’s a members-only BDSM club,” she whispered, her eyelashes flickering as she forced her eyes open again. “You’re a member.”

“I am.”

“And my brother…”

“Is my guest tonight,” I told her. “But we’re not talking about Jax right now.” I couldn’t think about him, or this would all go to hell again. “Why did Adalyn bring you here tonight?” I asked again, needing to take charge of this conversation.

“Operation Forget…”

I frowned. “Operation Forget what?”

She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does. This is all about communication, Jen. I need to know why you’re here. Aside from your desire for orgasms.” Which had probably been one of the most shocking things I’d ever heard from her. And I’d reacted exactly the wrong way to it.

I’d reacted the wrong way to everything.

“She brought me here to…” She trailed off. “To watch. To learn. To, I don’t know, find a guy for the night. She comes here often. She thought it would be a good way to help me move on.”

“Move on from what?” I asked, frowning. Or“Who?” might be the better question. Had she been seeing someone? Had he hurt her?

What idiot would be dumb enough to hurt her?

Her gaze shuttered, telling me I wouldn’t get much out of her on this topic.

I supposed that was fair, given what I’d just done.

“It’s nothing. Just an old crush.” She shook her head. “Adalyn thought this would be a good idea.” Her expression cleared a bit, some of the Jenica I knew peeking through. “It obviously wasn’t.”

“Or maybe it was,” I countered.

She stared at me. “In what way?”

“You’re a submissive, Jenica.” I ran my fingers through her hair, my eyes tracking the movement. It made so much sense to me now—this intense attraction I suddenly had to her. It wasn’t just that she’d blossomed into a gorgeous woman, but her nature called to mine.

I wanted her.

I’d wanted her since the moment I’d seen her on that bed in her room before the holidays. Before the wedding.

I’d thought it was just a subtle surprise at seeing how much she’d grown up.

But then she’d worn that stunning dress to her brother’s wedding. And I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her since.

Because a base part of me desired her. The part of me that wanted to tame.

She had “bratty sub” written all over her.

Yet she had no idea.

“You asked me to teach you.” I combed her silky blonde strands again, my gaze returning to hers. “I don’t have a lot of experience with training, but I can try. Or at least I can provide you with an introduction.” I’d technically already done that with the kneeling. However, that was basic compared to what else I could show her.

“You want to teach me?”

“I do.” More than I should. “It’s important to learn from someone you trust, especially in the beginning. It’s very easy to be taken advantage of in these situations.” And while Ecstasy might be a prestigious club with elite membership, that didn’t mean it was always safe.

Money ruled the elite world. Money, favors, and politics.

The security in place was to protect the wealthy members, not necessarily the submissives.

She straightened a little, her eyes holding mine. “So you want to teach me how to be a submissive because I’m supposed to learn from someone I trust?”

I nodded. “Yes. Trust and communication are key items in this lifestyle. You need someone you trust to show you the ropes. I can do that.”

“Because you’re my brother’s best friend.”

I winced at the reminder. “Perhaps in spite of the fact that I’m Jax’s best friend. But I suppose he would want someone trustworthy to walk you through it. I won’t hurt you.” That sounded like a reasonable justification.

Jenica was an adult, something that she kept telling me I didn’t know, even though I very much recognized her as a woman now. Jax might not. But I did. And if she was going to try this lifestyle, then she needed someone to look out for her.

I could do that.

He’d hate knowing I had to touch her in the process, but it was a better option than bringing in a stranger—someone who might hurt her.

“So you want to teach me out of some fucked-up duty to my brother,” she summarized, her brow coming down. “No.” She shoved me back and slid off my lap onto the bed next to me. “I’m going home.”

My eyebrows shot up as she attempted to push away from the mattress and stand.

Her heels made her unsteady, her balance causing her to teeter backward.

I took advantage of the motion and pulled her back down into a seated position beside me. “What do you mean, no?” I demanded. “Didn’t you come here to watch? To learn? To find a guy for the night?”

“Yes,” she confirmed, her expression cold as she looked at me. “And you’re not that guy.”

I gaped at her. “You were just asking me to teach you ten minutes ago.”

“And you told me to go home,” she returned. “Which is what I’m doing now.”

I blew out a breath. “Look. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Yes, you should have,” she corrected me. “I’m not letting you teach me out of some misguided loyalty to my brother. Sorry, but that’s not a turn-on, Pierce. It’s a turnoff.”

She stood again, her balance seeming to have returned.

“Jenica—”

“It’s fine,” she replied without looking at me. “I’m fine.”

She started toward the door.

“You can’t go out there alone,” I told her. “We’re in the members-only area, and you’re not a member.”

She froze, her hands going up to the mask on her face. “Someone will show me out.”

“Not politely,” I warned her. “You need me to walk with you, and I’m not ready to leave this room yet.” It was a power play, but that was the point, wasn’t it? “I need you to give me a safe word.”

“A what?”

“A safe word,” I repeated. “It’s what gives you the power in the scene. If you use that word, everything stops. And it’s my job as your Dom to make sure you never have to use it.”

She finally faced me again, her blue eyes glistening with more tears. But these appeared to be more angry than sad. “I already said no.”

“You did. And I’m sure you’ll say it again. However, I think you’ll find that it’s a common word subs use around here. Yet they never mean it.” I stood, my fingers brushing down my shirt to help fix the wrinkles caused by carrying her in here. “A safe word is the only way to truly say no. But you should only use it if you genuinely mean it. To do otherwise can destroy the relationship between a Dom and a sub.”

I started toward her.

“As I’ve said, trust is vital. As is communication. You can have more than just a safe word; you can have a cautionary word that tells me if I’m pushing too far.” My gaze ran over her slowly as I stopped before her. “But your body should tell me what I need to know well enough that we never reach that point.”

I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and pulled her flush against me.

She gasped, her pupils blowing wide as she placed her hands on my chest—not to push me away, but to establish a new balance.

Then her fingers curled just a little.

And that hint was exactly what I needed to push forward.

“Your body is how I know you don’t really want to say no to me, Jenica.” I glanced at her tongue as she dampened her lips. “Your body is saying yes.” I squeezed her nape as I wrapped my opposite arm around her slender waist. “So I’m going to need your safe word now. Then we’ll begin.”