Chapter 59

I woke up this morning with the type of headache that no amount of aspirin can cure. So, it's safe to say that school dragged, and work is even worse. I speak at half volume, move at half speed, and my thoughts are nothing but an endless spin cycle—around and around and around.

By the time our shift is over, the only thing I want to do is crawl into bed and die. Not literally. But also: maybe.

"I wish it were you who had died."

Jace drives me home, staying quiet, just like he has the entire day. Not that it matters. I don't think I'd even be able to hear him over the constant buzzing in my head. That and the voices that sound eerily close to my mother's. Funny that.

Jace parks the van behind the house, like always, but he doesn't make a move to get out. Instead, he reaches between the seats and returns with his backpack, unzips it, and reveals a wad of cash bundled together with an elastic band. He hands it to me, offering a smile, and I look from the cash up to him. His smile only widens. "The bet was still going," he tells me. "So that's yours."

"The bet?" I whisper, and it takes a moment for the haze to clear from my mind, for clarity to kick in. For reality to sink its teeth deep within my flesh and pull me apart limb from limb.

We'd had sex on Sunday, the same night my world fell apart. It's Wednesday now, and Jace… Jace what? Bragged about it to his friends? Made them pay up?

No…

He wouldn't.

Jace—clueless to the chaos he's created—decides now is the perfect time to tell me, "There's a dealership in Fremont we can go to on Saturday. You can see if you like anything there. If not, we can go to Odessa."

The bet.

The car.

And the months in between then and now…

The months when I fell for the boy beside me.

The boy handing me cash because I fucked him.

He starts to get out of the van, and my sense finally kicks in. I stop him with a hand on his arm. I want to tell him that this is wrong, that he fucked up, but what comes out instead is: "Not tonight."