Chapter 54

I tried to rush through the rest of my work once I got the text from Harlow telling me she was at the creek and to come see her when I was done. Usually, it means her mom's home and she doesn't want to be there. I hate that Harlow's there, alone, and I can't be with her, but I can't make computers faster than they are—no matter how good I am with them.

By the time I'm done, an hour's passed since her message, and I give Lana a quick rundown of everything, how to use it all, and tell her to call me if she has any issues. Though I hope she doesn't. Since there was no school today, I need to get a couple of hours' practice in, and then devote the rest of the night to Harlow.

I bypass my house, not bothering to check on my grandpa, and note that Harlow's mom's car isn't at their house.

Harlow's bike is leaning against a tree when I get to the creek, and she's sitting on the log that was once mine and mine alone. She doesn't look up when I get there, and that can only mean one thing: she had an interaction with her mother that's killed her mood and will undoubtedly put her in a low state for days. It happens every fucking time her mom says something to her, and it's one reason that—if Harlow hadn't agreed to come with me when I left—I would've wrapped her in a blanket and thrown her into my van, just so she could get away from her mom's toxic bullshit.

I step out of the van, make my way over, sit down beside her, and throw my arm around her. Usually, she'll nuzzle into me, and we'll sit in silence until she's ready to speak.

That's not what happens now.

Now, she doesn't come closer, but speaks right away. "When did you know?" She doesn't look at me when she asks this, just stares down at the ground.

Sometimes, I fear the wrath of my undoing. Meaning, I'm always scared that I'm doing something wrong. I never had that fear before Harlow because I didn't care what I'd lose because of my actions, or lack of. I care now. I love now. "Know what?"

She looks up, her eyes meeting mine, and it's obvious she's been crying, and I wish I knew why.

"Know what?" I repeat.

"That my mom was having an affair with my uncle?"

Shit. I'm caught—deer in the headlights—and I should've expected this at some point, but I wasn't prepared. "I…" I trail off, unsure of what to say.

"Don't deny it, Jace. You sat with me, right here," she cries, pointing to the creek edge. "And you asked all the right questions. Who was he to us? Where does he live? Doesn't my mom work in the same city? You knew, and you didn't tell me!"

"I wasn't going to deny it," I murmur, removing my arm from around her. I look down at the ground, like she was before, and I question if this is it. If this is my undoing. "I didn't know if I should've said anything."

"How did you even know?"

"I saw them."

"What? When?"

"The night you moved in," I answer truthfully. "I watched your house from outside my bedroom window, and I saw them. You would have too, if you were two minutes later to come outside to find my basketball. I know you have it, by the way, and you lied to me about it."

I can hear her frustration when she says, "That's hardly the same, Jace."

"Sorry."

"So what? You saw them together?"

The ache in my chest forces my eyes shut. "She came out of the house right after you went in, and she knocked on his RV, I guess. He stepped out, they kissed, and then they spent the night together."

"Jesus," Harlow whispers. Then lets out a humorless laugh. "They were that brazen, huh?"

"Sorry," I repeat, and I don't even know what I'm apologizing for. I just know that I should.

After a few seconds of silence, she asks the same question from earlier. The same question I've been dreading. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrug, force myself to look up. Not at her, just ahead. "I researched it."

"Researched what exactly?" She's mad, it's obvious, and I don't know if it's at me or this new information she must've just discovered or both.

Probably both.

"I looked up why people cheat, and then it led me to why people stay together while one person is cheating, and I read this piece about parents staying together for the sake of their kids. Usually until they leave for college. I didn't know if your dad knew about the affair, and I was going to tell him—that day when he knocked on my door asking me to look out for you—and I realized how much he loved you and how much you meant to him, and if anyone was going to stay in a shitty, toxic relationship for their kids, it was him. And so I kept my mouth shut, and I've kept it shut, because I got to know you and him, and I care about you both, and I don't…" Just the thought of it creates an ache in my chest, making it hard to speak. "I don't want to be the cause of your pain, Harlow. I'm sorry. Please don't hate me."

For the longest moment, Harlow doesn't speak, doesn't move, and so I finally face her. Tears stain her cheeks, and as hard as it is, I force my hands to stay right where they are. "You researched it?" she asks.

"Yeah…"

"You're such a little nerd."

I laugh, made of nothing but pure relief.

"I could never hate you, Jace," she says, and then she kisses me, and I feel every inch of muscle unfurl within me. Mouth still on mine, she whispers, "I love you."

"I love you too." I pull back, just so I can breathe easily for the first time since I saw her sitting here. "Swear, I thought you were going to be done with me."

"Your reasoning was pretty solid, so I'll give you a pass on this one, but… you're still not getting your ball back."

I chuckle, weightless in her presence again. "You can keep it."

"You don't have a choice." She stands, offering her hand to me. "But as punishment, you have to let me watch you practice shirtless for the next two hours."

"Small price to pay."

We head back to my van, my arm around her as she nestles in close. "Hey, will you come over for dinner after work on Sunday?"