Chapter Nine

KATE

The afternoon before meeting Noah for drinks…

Stupid, irresponsible, reckless, idiotic—and the list goes on of names I could call myself right now.

I’d succumb to my own insecurities, texting Dominic even though there is nothing left to say. Well, at least, he has nothing left to say. The second I hit send, I instantly regret it, falling into a heap on my bathroom floor consumed by the realization of my actions. Not only did I text him back, I questioned his ability to pretend like there was nothing between us.

I have royally fucked up, unsure of how I even got to this point. The memory of a stranger fucking me on all fours while Dominic watched haunts me every which way I turn. But like a double-edged sword, that moment is followed by our own intimate rendezvous inside his office.

“Everything you are is everything I’m not supposed to feel,” he whispered.

His stare was vicious like an animal ready to attack its prey. My heart began to beat erratically, a mixture of anticipation and adrenaline all rolled into one. Every kiss, and every touch, burned in my memory like a trail of destruction. I allowed my inhibitions to unleash if only for that night, and now I’m reveling in the mess I created for myself.

Waiting for a response and one week late on my period.

“Should I order the grapefruit arugula salad or the Caprese salad?” Eric asks out loud, tapping his finger against his lip as he scours the menu.

Letting out a breath, I distract myself once again by reading the menu and not checking my cell for the hundredth time today.

“Why are you even entertaining the salad option when we both know you want the pork marinade fillets with fries on the side?” I tell him, placing the menu down.

The waiter appears at our table, waiting impatiently to take our order.

“I’ll have the grilled swordfish, and he…” I say, gesturing to Eric, “… will have the pork marinade fillets with a side of fries.”

“Is that all?” the waiter asks, almost rudely.

“The chicken steamed dumplings,” Eric adds.

I raise my eyebrows. A moment ago, Eric was perusing the salad menu, and now he’s ordering dumplings? I’m too mentally drained even to argue this knowing all too well he’ll complain later when he hops on the scale at the gym.

“Anything else?” the waiter repeats.

“A personality? For you,” Eric mumbles under his breath.

I force a smile. “That’s all. Thank you.”

The second he leaves, I kick Eric under the table, causing him to yelp.

“What? He deserved it.”

“Perhaps, but I don’t want to find his spit on our food.”

Eric lets out an annoyed huff only to parade a grin moments later. “Okay, so how long are you here for? I need all the scoop.”

“What scoop?” I flatten the napkin on my lap, keeping my expression simple. “I’m here for two weeks at this stage, working, and thanks for letting me crash at your place.”

“C’mon, you never have to ask. Besides, no one else is there,” his tone softens, the rare yet vulnerable side of Eric emerging.

“Hey,” I say, placing my hand on top of his. “Have you spoken to Tristan?”

He shakes his head. “No, only stalk him on Insta.”

“That’s not the way to stay in each other’s lives.”

“Speaking of Insta.” Eric’s face lights up. “Noah is here. Saw his picture in the pool with the girls. Arm porn at its finest. I’m heading over tomorrow with the hopes to turn him gay.”

My lips curve upward into a knowing grin. I’d only met Noah this morning, and he’s every bit as gorgeous as the photographs Eric had sent me over the last few weeks. Not only is he sexy with a great dress sense, but there is also something comforting about being in his company. We laughed, we flirted—and tonight is exactly what I need to take my mind off things.

“He’s quite… attractive.”

“How long until you tell me what really happened in the car this morning?”

My mouth falls open in shock. It’s almost impossible to hide anything from Eric. Yet the biggest secret of all, I managed to keep between Charlie, Lex, and myself. Charlie knows better than to say anything to Eric, given that he loathes his brother and isn’t shy in expressing just that.

“How did you… Charlie.” I resign.

Eric rests his elbows on the edge of the table, clasping his hands with desperation etched all over his perfectly manscaped face.

“So? C’mon, Kate. My life is nothing but social media stalking and living vicariously through my other single friends who, as of this moment, are only you.”

Well, that’s a depressing thought.

“Nothing happened. We flirted. He’s sexy. We’re going to have drinks tonight.”

“And you’re hoping to get a little something… something to wipe out the cobwebs growing in your banana basket?”

I shake my head at Eric, barely able to laugh at this moment. If only he knew the truth, the life his brother led, the deep dark secrets he holds from his family. And how somewhere over the last month, I’d fallen for someone who didn’t feel the same.

As I stare into Eric’s eyes, trying to think of a response, I’m unable to see any similarity between him and Dominic. They both have Caucasian and Asian genes, though their features differ so much aside from a slight similarity in their eye color.

The day I met Dominic was at his mother’s sixtieth birthday. Eric dragged me to the event to be his plus one but soon abandoned me for a shrimp cocktail waiter who was related to Celine Dion. It wasn’t even of close relation, more like third cousins or something ridiculous like that.

Left alone, I had no choice but to strike up conversations with strangers not realizing Dominic was Eric’s brother. He was gorgeous and undeniably sexy with a muscular build underneath the tuxedo he wore. A simple thing such as his black-rimmed reading glasses enamored me. The more we spoke and realized we had similar connections in the business world, the more fascinated I became and attracted to him.

And perhaps everything about Dominic should’ve come with a warning.

I began taking steps toward a trap I never expected to fall into at the age of thirty, an age when I’m supposed to be wiser and knowledgeable when it comes to men.

The sad reality—I’m none the wiser.

No doubt, the stress of everything is only adding to my late period, but I refuse to think about it, training my brain to focus on anything but this even if I have to entertain Eric and his over-imaginative vision of Noah and me.

“Just drinks. That’s it.”

Eric purses his lips. “When it comes to Noah Mason, something tells me you’ll be unable to resist.”

***

Meeting Noah for drinks…

From the moment Noah joined me, we’d instantly hit it off. Sure, I came prepared with bottles of liquor and a desperate need to forget my life back in Manhattan existed. And yes, my body began its signs of warning me of an impending period but still nothing.

We laughed so hard until my lungs struggled for air, teased each other with sexual innuendo while playfully splashing around in the water. Noah couldn’t resist trying to make a move, which perhaps is exactly what my ego needed at that moment. Broody men are so yesterday.

I suggested we take it back onshore, carelessly making decisions drunk on tequila. There’s not much I remember besides the cool air against my skin, the cold sand beneath my feet, and the torches illuminating the area around us.

Oh, and I finally got my period.

Tonight was surreal, sharing it with a complete stranger. The last few years have forced me to alienate myself from the social scene. If and when I did mingle, it was for business, and with that came a different persona. I can’t recall the last time I had laughed so hard.

Noah was so easy to be around, which is why I admitted what was going on with my life back home. He didn’t judge me, and I mean, how could he have given we were both sitting inside a jail cell for acting on impulse.

Everything about tonight is beyond crazy yet, at the same, time perfect. Whether it was the liquor or the careless decision to swim in the Pacific Ocean or the company of a sexy man beside me, tonight was the wake-up call I needed.

Life doesn’t need to revolve around work. I just need to find a way to balance it all. If Charlie can run her business, take care of two kids while pregnant, and have time for her friends, I surely can do this without the added responsibilities.

Back at Charlie and Lex’s place, Noah disappeared along with Lex. She suggested I stay the night, and luckily for me, I have some spare clothes which I left behind the last time I stayed here. After the longest, hottest, and most relaxing shower ever, I make my way back to the kitchen where Charlie is sitting with two mugs filled to the brim with hot tea and what appears to be homemade cookies.

“Have you turned English?” I question while taking a seat and eyeing the tea.

Charlie sits across from me. “I’m not allowed to drink coffee, remember? One of the many joys of being pregnant.”

I nod my head in silence, grabbing the cookie and breaking it in half. Tonight, I drank copious amounts of tequila. I haven’t quite sobered up even though I drank three glasses of water and strong black coffee the cop gave us while waiting to be bailed out.

“Can you please walk me through what happened tonight? This isn’t you… I know you like to have fun but not law-breaking fun.”

“I don’t know how to explain it,” I admit, wrapping my hands around the mug. “At first, we were fooling around, but Noah isn’t like other guys, he just… I don’t know.”

“He is exactly like other guys,” Charlie tells me. “That’s why he’s here. His dick got him in trouble back home.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Okay, so you guys wanted to fuck on the beach or whatever,” she mutters, covering her mouth with her mug. “But you’re both feeding into each other’s bad habits. Noah prowls on vulnerable women like you, and you’re trying to sleep with another guy to prove a point.”

I’m hurt by her words, though sadly, she’s right. This isn’t me. I don’t sleep around to prove a point to anyone, yet why did I so easily fall into this pattern? This woman I’ve become is cheap, cowardly, and running toward the wrong things instead of trying to fix the broken pieces inside of me.

My temple begins to throb, the hangover imminent if I don’t control what I do over the next hour before I fall asleep. I can’t recall the last time I drank so much, but holding liquor well is in my gene pool. I grew up with a dad who could chug a whole keg of beer and still run a marathon the next morning. His brothers, my uncles, were the exact same.

As if Charlie could read my mind, she leaves the table, returning moments later with a bottle of water and Advil.

“Take two of these, finish all the water plus your tea and cookies.”

“You’re right,” I mumble, popping the Advil’s into my mouth and swallowing them with a large amount of water. “I shouldn’t have tried to screw Noah. I partially blame Eric for the pressure.”

“There’s nothing to stop you from being friends. It might do the two of you good to have each other since he’s single, and so are you. Just lay off the hard liquor… and stay out of jail.”

Charlie places her hand on top of mine, letting out a yawn. I suggest she go to bed, knowing it has been a long night for her, and she agrees.

Placing her dishes in the sink, she says goodnight but stops just shy of the door.

“Just so you know, if you were pregnant, I’d have been there for you, no judgment,” she says in a neutral tone. “If anyone understands what it’s like to make poor decisions, it’s me. But sometimes, those poor decisions lead you down the right path.”

I smile back at Charlie, knowing everything she just said is true. Charlie has always been supportive, and I consider her family, not just a friend or the wife of my boss. When it comes to our relationship, she knows me better than I know myself at times.

Following in her footsteps, I turn off the lights and head toward the guest bedroom. I know Noah is staying at the other end of the house but decide to send him a quick text once I settle myself into bed.

Me: Thank you for tonight. You are exactly what I needed at this moment.

I didn’t expect him to respond given how late it is. Still holding onto my phone, I stare into the ceiling. Charlie is right. I’ve made poor decisions, and now is the time to make sensible ones. I texted Dominic three days ago demanding he give me a better answer than ‘there’s nothing left to say.’ I’m done trying to force him to be someone or say something he can’t be or cannot say.

The mixture of tequila and vodka still swirling inside of me gives me the confidence to re-evaluate my life before I spiral out of control to the point of no return. Ironic, since it’s supposed to have the reverse effect.

My mother always taught me to count my blessings, not my troubles.

I’m not pregnant.

Blessing.

How easily I could’ve fucked up my life for good. The walk of shame is something I don’t take lightly, and for now, to steer myself away from it, I shut my eyes to welcome sleep until my phone buzzes.

Noah:Ditto, Bonnie. Next time we should try to rob a bank, make our criminal record worthy of the news. Sleep well, Kate.

A smile escapes my lips, shaking my head with a gentle laugh at his suggestion to imitate Bonnie and Clyde with their notorious crime spree.

I place my phone on charge beside me, welcoming sleep once again. Tomorrow is a new day, and I’ll be damned to live another day being someone I’m not.

Onward and upward, or follow Eric’s mantra—bad vibes don’t go with my outfit.

For once, Eric sounds perfectly sane.