Chapter Ten

NOAH

Charlie is far from forgiving the next morning, purposely waking up the household early, banging on pots and pans plus running the vacuum just to annoy me.

The girls enter my room several times, and I vow that one day I’ll wake up early enough to beat them to the chase. Since I’ve been here, I’ve stopped going to the gym and running each morning, something I did almost every day back home.

I barely slept. The entire night I had recurring nightmares that a cast of crabs had invaded my pants and had bitten off my dick. I kept waking up in a cold sweat, checking to make sure everything was intact, only then to fall asleep and have the same nightmare.

After showering and changing into my suit pants and collared dress shirt, I follow my usual routine by styling my hair and applying aftershave. I don’t feel like shaving today, allowing my five-o’clock shadow to remain on my face.

Tired and irritable, I make my way to the kitchen, my stomach growling in the process. Even with the copious amounts of drinking last night, I crave something deliciously oily. I wonder what the chances are of Charlie frying me up some bacon.

Kate’s already at the table, fiddling with her cell. She stayed the night instead of crashing at her other friend’s place. Lifting her gaze away from the screen, she spots me entering the room and mouths something about Charlie, which I can’t quite understand. Ignoring her for just a moment, I grab the pot of coffee and pour myself a mug along with a piece of toast that sits on a plate beside the coffee maker. I’m a coffee addict at the best of times, but this morning, it tastes like fucking heaven.

A second later, my cell vibrates in my pocket. I remove it and read the text Kate just sent me.

Kate: Beware the wrath of a woman who didn’t get laid by her husband last night.

Oh, c’mon. I don’t need to know this shit. I shoot her an annoyed look, responding to her text immediately.

Me: Fuck you very much.

“I don’t know what it is you guys are talking about, but know this…I’m tired,” Charlie tells us with her back toward the table while making a sandwich, which she slides into a brown paper bag.

“Good morning, my loving cousin, you look very nice this morning.” I smile, trying my best to get back into the good books with her.

“Cut the bullshit, Noah. I look like death. This pregnancy feels like I’ve got my period every goddamn day, so death is an understatement.”

“See this… this right here is the kind of information I’m not interested in. It would explain why both of you are crabby. I’ve heard about girls being in sync, although you’re pregnant but still…” I say with a mouthful of toast, unaware of the minefield I’ve just stepped into.

“Did you also hear that period pain is like a thousand knives being stabbed into your vagina?” Charlie adds, taking a seat beside me. “And that it’s extremely awkward when your tampon fills up, and you’re running to the toilet with what feels like a grenade between your legs?”

Kate does nothing to save me. Instead, she bows her head, trying to hold in her laughter, almost choking on the banana she’s eating. Serves her right, though on close inspection, she appears to have an excellent gag reflex. Always handy to have.

Lex walks into the kitchen, pulling a small suitcase behind him. He told me last night he has to be in Colorado for three days. Also, he told me that he’s glad I’m here so someone can help Charlie, not that I’ve been much help. Ava soiled her diaper the other day, and I almost threw up in my mouth trying to find Charlie while carrying her at an arm’s length so she could change her.

“Good morning, everyone,” he announces. “Good morning, my beautiful wife.”

Kissing her on the cheek, she mumbles something before sliding the cup of coffee across the table to him where he takes a seat. The girls are watching television, something about a little girl with a whiney voice that speaks in Spanish.

“What did I miss?” Lex asks, taking his cell out of his pocket.

“Everyone is shitty and tired. Aside from that, you’re off to Colorado to meet the Mackenzie Group, right?”

“Yes. Did Margaret email you the presentation?” Lex questions Kate.

Kate scrolls through her cell, shaking her head in response.

“Honestly, Kate. These older assistants HR is hiring aren’t as switched on as the younger ones,” he chastises.

“Oh, really?” Charlie questions with a raised eyebrow. “Maybe you should find someone younger like Montana, perhaps? Maybe give her a call, see what she’s up to.”

You could cut Charlie’s sarcasm with a knife. Lex puts his phone down and looks at Charlie oddly. I don’t know what’s going on or who Montana is, but I really want to slide out of my chair and hide under the table, pretending I don’t exist. Charlie’s one hell of a moody bitch.

“No comment?” she asks, waiting for Lex. “I didn’t think so. Now, since we’re all here, and we have approximately two minutes before Dora the Explorer finishes, we need to set some rules in this house.”

“Like not talking about menstrual cycles?” I tell her.

Lex nods in agreement.

“No, like your personal life ruining your chance at success,” she answers back.

“How does that affect thishousehold?”

“It affects Lex,” Charlie points out.

“Explain?”

“Lex’s business can’t afford to have single men like you with a reputation for running naked around LA. Haden may run the company, but ultimately, Lex owns shares.”

“What I do in my personal life does not affect my work,” I quip, quick to defend myself. “I take pride in my professionalism, Charlie. I work hard, and yes, I play hard. But that doesn’t mean I mix business with pleasure.”

“He’s right, Charlotte, and if you knew what my executives got up to, you’d…” Lex trails off as he watches Kate dragging her finger across her throat, motioning him to stop right there.

“What are you talking about? Of course, it affects your business. A nice, well-rounded man in a steady relationship shows commitment.”

“God, Charlie, what do you want me to do? Become a priest?” I complain.

“No. I think you need to start getting serious. You’re twenty-eight, Noah. When Lex was twenty-eight, he owned several companies and was set for life,” Charlie says.

Kate interrupts the conversation, “Yes, he did. But Charlie, Lex was no saint. Granted, he was miserable and missing you, but nevertheless, he was far from being a nice guy. He only got that far because he threw himself into his work to forget how much he hated life.”

I could kiss Kate right now for having my back.

“Thank you, Kate. I’m trying to block out his manwhoreness and prove a point to Noah,” Charlie adds with sarcasm.

“Hey.” Lex winces. “Can we stop talking about me being a manwhore? I’m offended.”

“Oh, please…” Charlie rolls her eyes, “… you loved it.”

I’m done with the nagging, ready to pull out some lame excuse about an early meeting just to be able to leave the house.

“Noah, you need to settle down. You don’t have forever to get married and start a family.” Charlie isn’t afraid to speak her mind. “You’ve had enough time being Mr. Rebound or whatever they call you. Now is the time to find your lady. No more messing around.”

“My lady?” I laugh.

Lex joins in, shaking his head.

“You know what?” Kate adds. “Charlie has a point. You’ve screwed more women than most guys. I once read that twenty-eight is the age to start planning for the future. You don’t want to be forty looking for a wife. You’re only one step away from a lifetime prescription to Viagra.”

“Forty?” I scowl. “C’mon. That’s the new thirty. I’m not interested in a relationship.”

“So, there’s no one at all you see yourself settling down with? If you could have any woman in the world, who would you settle in a relationship with?” Kate asks, teasing me because she can see this topic is testing my patience.

Charlie waits in anticipation as Lex scrolls through his phone with a look of amusement on his face.

On top of the kitchen table sits a trashy entertainment magazine. On the front cover is Scarlett Winters, an actress who’s heavily in the tabloids due to her Oscar-winning roles and sometimes controversial love life. I won’t argue that she’s the most stunning woman on this planet. Platinum blonde hair with hazel eyes covered in long, luscious black lashes. Her body is amazing. Implants, perhaps, but amazing curves. And her ass—to fucking die for. I mean, that booty would look fantastic sitting on my cock.

“Scarlett Winters,” I say in one breath.

“The actress?” the three of them say at the same time.

I nod, blissfully looking at her face on the front cover.

“So, if the universe delivered Scarlett Winters to your doorstep, you’d settle down with her?” Kate asks.

“Uh-huh.” As if that would ever happen. An A-list Hollywood star wanting a relationship with a non-celebrity. I could possibly fuck her. I know that much. But a relationship? I fucking wish. I imagine waking up next to her every morning. I’d be in fucking heaven, tapping that ass every fucking chance I got. I have a better chance of winning the Lotto or even pigs flying and landing on the moon.

“I don’t blame you,” Lex grins. “She’s quite something.”

“Well…” Charlie says, annoyed, “… if it gets her off the market, so my husband has no chance, I’m in.”

“You’re in what?” I ask, confused.

“Kate and I will get you a date with Scarlett Winters. It only takes one date. Sprinkle that Mason charm on her, and before you know it, we’ll be hearing wedding bells. I have the perfect plan already.” Charlie smiles with satisfaction.

“Um, we will?” Kate narrows her eyes while frowning. “How?”

“Because we’re women… that’s how. Girl power, baby.”

“C’mon… Scarlett Winters?” I repeat, followed by a huff. “This is ludicrous.”

These women have no clue how to even contact her, let alone get me a date. Just agree, there’s no way these two could pull this off. Soon, they’ll forget about this stupid dare and carry on with their sad, pathetic lives.

“You need to shake on this, promise us that you’ll settle down once and for all if you start dating Scarlett,” Charlie tells me.

I extend my hand. “Deal. And do you know why I’m agreeing?”

Both of them shake their heads in unison.

“Because it’ll neverhappen. Do you know how hard it is to get in contact with a celebrity? She has an army of people you’ll need to get through. It’s comical, this whole settle-down-Noah plan.” I laugh at my own words.

“I like to prove people wrong,” Charlie responds confidently. “It’s what I do for a living. So, wait and see.”

***

I wait and wait some more. Nothing, of course, happens.

The week was hectic in the office. I finally met all the team who will be reporting directly to me—basically a bunch of young kids who just finished college. Eager young men and women ready to get their hands dirty to climb the corporate ladder. Haden has given me a ton of projects which will involve a few interstate trips. The hours are long, but Haden ensures we enjoy ourselves, taking our team out for lunch and challenging us boys on the court.

It’s late Friday afternoon when Haden calls an impromptu meeting, with even his wife, Presley, attending.

“Sorry about the late meeting. I’ll be away this weekend and won’t have access to work emails,” he tells everyone.

He confided in me earlier in the day that his mother was in town, so he took the opportunity to use her as a babysitter and organize a quick trip to Vegas with Presley. A much-needed dirty weekend since they barely spend time alone without their son.

“I won’t have access to emails either,” Presley adds.

The group snickers, both Haden and Presley breaking out into smiles like their hands are caught in the cookie jar.

“Yeah, yeah… I know what you’re all thinking.” Presley laughs. “So, we got some exciting news today. We’ve been approved to increase our budget, so we can expand our publishing services.”

“That’s great news,” I acknowledge.

“It really is. While we’ve got excellent results in the fiction department, given our geographical presence, why not take advantage of what we have around us,” she reveals.

“I’m not following you,” Pete, one of our editors, says out loud.

Haden takes the lead. “Hollywood. There’s such a huge demand for celebrity autobiographies. Now, granted, it’s a different process for establishing a book with an author. We need to utilize ghostwriters, and there will be a major push on marketing given the fan base of each celebrity we choose.” Haden tells us more about the plan but cuts the meeting short due to time.

As everyone leaves the room, he asks me to stay back for a moment. “So, I had an interesting conversation with Lex the other day,” Haden says.

“Oh, yeah, about what?”

“About how the first celebrity we’ll try to contract is Scarlett Winters.” He follows with an underlying smirk

I almost choke on my own saliva. “Scarlett Winters?”

“Yes,” he replies. “According to Forbes magazine, she’s the most in-demand actress in the world right now. Anything with her name attached means big bucks. I’ve already teed up an interview with her on Monday.”

“Are you fuc—” I pull myself up. “Are you serious?”

Haden breaks out laughing, then follows with, “I’m serious. Presley will attend the interview with you since she manages the team of writers, but you’ll need to put together a marketing plan to entice her. What platforms will be leveraged, how we can stay in line with her branding. And, plus, I understand Charlie has a keen interest in you meeting Scarlett Winters.”

“Look, I don’t mix my personal life with business.”

“I don’t care what you do in your personal life, Noah. Between you and Presley, deliver me an autobiography of Scarlett Winters, and Head of the West Coast Marketing Division is yours.”

“You can’t be serious? West Coast Marketing. That’s a huge step up.”

Lex owns three publishing houses on the West Coast, including here, San Francisco, and Seattle. I know the business is doing exceptionally well financially, given the number of New York Times bestsellers they published last year. This would be a dream position for me—a major step in my career as long as I don’t fuck it up. If Haden can run this branch successfully, then I can take on that position with my eyes fucking closed.

“Noah, it’s all yours. And if you fuck her, just make sure your name isn’t slewed across the tabloids,” he warns. “She’s sexy, but she also has paparazzi following her every move.”

“I promise to keep the tabloids clean.”

I shake his hand and wish him fun on his dirty weekend, curbing my excitement momentarily.

On Monday, I’ll meet Scarlett Winters.

I don’t care about Charlie and Kate’s stupid idea. I’ll do whatever the hell I want to do. If that’s falling in love with Scarlett, then so be it.

Let cupid target both of us.

Karma is finally on team Noah.