16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Aydan

Having my mate run away from me the minute I realized he was mine was not something I had anticipated ever happening.

Then again, I had always assumed that if I ran into my fated mate, I'd know immediately. Instead, I had spent several weeks with Jayce. That damn skunk smell hiding from my nose what my heart already knew: Jayce was mine.

My fated mate.

It explained so much about the turmoil I'd been feeling. The way I was drawn to him when I thought I shouldn't be. The way I couldn't keep away from him, no matter how hard I tried. The way he never left my mind. The way he lit up my world. I ignored them all, relying on my stupid bear and ability to scent him far too much. If only I'd trusted my instincts, we could've avoided all this hurt.

I didn't care that he was the polar opposite of me. I didn't care that the only role models I had growing up—my parents, who were fated to one another—were the absolute worst, and that I had sworn to never, ever find my fated mate. I'd been wavering on that one since my brother and Zane got together, but had never fully let it go. Now I did. My parents were the exception to the rule.

If only I'd seen that earlier.

When I made that oath, I had not known that my fated mate would be Jayce—beautiful, perfect, spontaneous Jayce, who brought fun into my life and apparently also brought chaos, which I so desperately needed. I hadn't seen how glorious true mates could be as witnessed with my brother and his. I'd been angry and disillusioned. I was no longer that bear.

Jayce was gone. I needed to track him down. I wasn't going to let him go without a fight. That had been true before I scented him and no less true now.

He couldn't hide from me anymore, though. His scent was embedded in my brain. The skunk smell was gone, and in its place was rosemary and peaches—an odd combination, but one that I now lived for. Only he wasn't hiding from me, really, was he. He was hiding from us, and that hurt deeply.

I took off, following his scent out of the house and into the woods. He hadn't shifted to his bear form, which was good, because I didn't have time to strip off these clothes. I caught up with him quickly—my legs were longer than his, plus, I knew the territory better. I found him sitting on a fallen log, his face buried in his hands.

"Jayce," I said. "Mate."

"Don't call me that." Ouch.

That stung, but I understood where he was coming from. Until recently we had both been sure this was a temporary thing. I never told him my feelings were getting involved. I never told him that I craved the very air he breathed. It had been my fault. I was a stubborn jerk, and it was time to make it right.

I sat next to him.

"It seems like I'm always apologizing," I said, my lips quirking into a smile. "I couldn't figure out why you always drove me so crazy—why I was jealous of every alpha that got near you, jealous of all the connections you were making and how easy it all seemed to come for you. My den loved you, yet I was jealous. I wanted all of your attention. I still do. And now I know why."

It hadn't helped that my den was mostly alphas. I was sure that if I scratched the surface, they were all going to want him. How could they not? Look at him… gorgeous, kind, funny, and always surprising me with something new.

"Hormones." Jayce looked up at me. "Stupid hormones."

"Fate." They weren't the same, and hearing him not believe that I could tell the difference stung because I was the one who made him believe that.

"I know how you feel about fated mates, Aydan. Corey is my best friend." He looked up at me. "He told me about your parents."

I nodded. "Yes, they were awful. But look how fated mates worked out for Corey and Zane. I used to loathe the idea of fate dictating my future, but I know better now." I longed to weave my fingers through his. "Perhaps it's a blessing that I met you when I didn't realize what you were to me. I probably wouldn't have given us a chance, at least not right away. But getting to know you like I did, seeing how amazing you are in action—"

"I'm chaos. You hate chaos." That was my fault. I'd said those stupid words so many times, and I regretted each and every single one of them. They were my shield, the one I put up to protect myself, and instead they acted as a weapon, one that hurt my mate.

"I love you." There was no holding back. He needed to know exactly where I stood. If he still didn't want me, I'd figure out a way to accept it. Gods, don't let that be the case.

He looked up, his eyes brimming with tears. "Do you mean that?"

I nodded. "I love the fun you bring to my life, the chaos that follows you. I love how you are with my den. I really don't like how much the alphas follow you around, but once they know that you are mine, they'll behave themselves—if you accept this mating, of course." I was jumping a thousand miles ahead, but I couldn't help it. I wanted him in all ways, and I wasn't going to keep that bottled in. He deserved to know.

"You can't just change your mind overnight. Aydan, that's not how this works." He let out a sigh. "And besides, what if we are wrong? You've never knotted."

I'd been thinking about that too. It was why more than once I'd thought we couldn't be mates. But if I couldn't scent him, of course my body wouldn't know how to respond, right?

"That's because we didn't recognize each other. Stupid skunk."

"Yeah. He was stupid."

We sat there in silence, and I watched him as his face morphed from one expression to another. He was working through this big old mess we'd gotten ourselves into. When it looked like he'd finished, I told him exactly where I stood.

"We've been together the past few weeks. I haven't changed my mind overnight. It happened rather slowly, actually. But if I'm being honest with both you and me, I knew right away. I just refused to allow myself to believe it."

"What if things don't work out? You don't like my craziness or the whole not-having-a-job thing?"

I hadn't liked it at first because I didn't understand it. In action, he'd been right. We one thousand percent did need a floater, but also, he already had a job he needed to fill… that was if he accepted me.

"You'll be Alpha Mate. That'll be your job—if you want it. The responsibility you take on will be of your choosing."

All of this was assuming that he wanted this at all, and the more we talked, the more worried I became that this was not something he desired, that maybe he would walk away, leaving this den behind him.

"I don't want to disappoint you, Aydan, not even the tiniest of bits. I love you, too. So much. I didn't expect that to happen. Everything Corey told me about you made me think we wouldn't get along at all. And we don't—at least not all the time."

It was part of what made him perfect for me. I didn't want a submissive omega who would do what I wanted, how I wanted it, and when I wanted it. That would be boring, and one thing was for sure, life with Jayce would never be that.

"We do when it's important," I said. "I think we bring out the best in one another."

He leaned against me.

"I'm scared, but I'm also incredibly excited to see what this new adventure brings," I said.

He snorted.

"Have you ever been on an adventure, Alpha?"

"No. But lucky for me I have an incredible guide who can lead the way." I kissed the top of his head.

"Well, be prepared to have your world rocked even more. Rissa had me take that pregnancy test. I didn't ever say what the result was."

Thinking back, he was right. He'd said all was good, and I jumped to the conclusion it was negative. But all good could've meant either. Why hadn't I asked him straight out?

"That's why you took the trash out."

He nodded.

My eyes widened at the implication. "A cub? The two of us are going to have a cub?"

Jayce nodded. "I didn't know what to say when I saw the positive test, so I ran, and then I wasn't sure how to tell you in the house. So I ran again."

I chuckled. "You can run, mate, all you want, just be prepared for the chase, because I'm not letting you go."

"I'd like that," Jayce said.

I leaned over and kissed him. "Why don't I take you home? We have the harvest festival to plan, and maybe we can do something a little chaotic, a little spontaneous."

"Like what?" Jayce asked.

"We could announce our mating to the den. At the festival. It'll be a surprise."

"Is that your idea of spontaneous? Because the very definition of spontaneous means it wasn't planned, yet right now, you're planning."

I shot him a look. "Baby steps, Jayce. Baby steps."

"I'll take them." He stood up and held out his hand for me.

"When you took the test, I was sad it wasn't positive." I didn't want him thinking that I was only happy now because I'd been afraid of losing him or was being kind or something.

"I was too, alpha mine. I was too."